Breaking News 8888 Week 34 scores 8888 Breaking News
Danny Matthews earnt his first prize money of the season cracking in a weekly score of 59, 1 more than Sweaty's Rose was ruined by a lady boy. Danny's Geeza's were real men in week 34 and clambered upto 3rd in The Championship.
Herecomethewildebeests continued a nice little run of form scoring 53. Then came the a host of Premiership prize money contenders in the form of Back home (50), Ginger (not so) Athletic (49), Wenners Wannabes (49), Keep the faith (49) and West Ham 4 West Germany 2 (46).
Neil Cryer put down his pint of stella to also hit a tidy score of 47 points and the Dale Allstar jumped a place to 16th.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Status Quo at top
Breaking News 8888 Week 34 - The Premiership
The top 8 sides remained in their positions after week 34's scores. Ginger (not so) Athletic continued to keep his ginger nose out in front in what is becoming an enthralling finish to the season, unlike the real thing where Roman's billions are walking it.
Barry Paull's Back home closed the gap on Wenners Wannabe's to 10 points in the battle for 3rd and Keep the faith moved into 9th replacing Galacticos. Lamb to the slaughter are knocking on the door after a fine score of 46.
The top 8 sides remained in their positions after week 34's scores. Ginger (not so) Athletic continued to keep his ginger nose out in front in what is becoming an enthralling finish to the season, unlike the real thing where Roman's billions are walking it.
Barry Paull's Back home closed the gap on Wenners Wannabe's to 10 points in the battle for 3rd and Keep the faith moved into 9th replacing Galacticos. Lamb to the slaughter are knocking on the door after a fine score of 46.
There's only one 'r' in relegation
Breaking News 8888 - Week 34 - The Championship
James Bird and Nottm Forest have one thing in common and that is they are both staring relegation in the face. By the time you read this Forest may already be down to, lets face it the 3rd Division, which to me and my generation of non-Forest fans is a real shame. Sheffield Wednesday, Forest and Leeds' tales of woe are a real wake up call for Premiership sides.
James Bird can't blame the collapse of ITV digital or falling attendences or piss-poor mismanagement. Frankly his Only one 'f' in Forest are just piss-poor. A regular re-election candidate, James hit the week's lowest and the season's 5th worst weekly score in W34 of just 2 points.
This meant that both Goonersmoan (Rutts, sorry I didn't get out for a beer with you last week, was good to see you though) and Happy Hammers benefited from this and climb a place each in the table.
The top two stay the same. Flighty Feet increased their lead over Meg & Hannah's Bears by 3 points to 15.
Meanwhile the battle for the 3rd and 4th place prize money is hotting up with the realisation that previous mid-table sides can now win some cash. I have had a flurry of transfers from managers who would normally just be sitting around mid-table and calling it quits.
Danny's Geeza's as you have already read won MoW in week 34 and move into 3rd, She fell over slip to 4th (likewise Lizzy, sorry we didn't get time for a glass last week) but there was real movement behind them.
Rose to be ruined by a ladyboy catapults Sweaty into 5th whilst Beer Monsters, Pull your finger molly and Moulsters Molesters all lost ground. Coming up on the rails is Chris Waterman though whose Californication busted 35 points.
James Bird and Nottm Forest have one thing in common and that is they are both staring relegation in the face. By the time you read this Forest may already be down to, lets face it the 3rd Division, which to me and my generation of non-Forest fans is a real shame. Sheffield Wednesday, Forest and Leeds' tales of woe are a real wake up call for Premiership sides.
James Bird can't blame the collapse of ITV digital or falling attendences or piss-poor mismanagement. Frankly his Only one 'f' in Forest are just piss-poor. A regular re-election candidate, James hit the week's lowest and the season's 5th worst weekly score in W34 of just 2 points.
This meant that both Goonersmoan (Rutts, sorry I didn't get out for a beer with you last week, was good to see you though) and Happy Hammers benefited from this and climb a place each in the table.
The top two stay the same. Flighty Feet increased their lead over Meg & Hannah's Bears by 3 points to 15.
Meanwhile the battle for the 3rd and 4th place prize money is hotting up with the realisation that previous mid-table sides can now win some cash. I have had a flurry of transfers from managers who would normally just be sitting around mid-table and calling it quits.
Danny's Geeza's as you have already read won MoW in week 34 and move into 3rd, She fell over slip to 4th (likewise Lizzy, sorry we didn't get time for a glass last week) but there was real movement behind them.
Rose to be ruined by a ladyboy catapults Sweaty into 5th whilst Beer Monsters, Pull your finger molly and Moulsters Molesters all lost ground. Coming up on the rails is Chris Waterman though whose Californication busted 35 points.
The twins share the weekly pot
Breaking News 8888 Week 35 scores 8888 Breaking News
In a low scoring week the Fac r/i twins of Rutts and Francis shared the MoW award with 37 points each helping both sides out at seperate ends of the table.
Lamb to the slaughter wheedled their way into 9th spot hot on the heels of You got more toes, while Goonersmoan jumped another place in their efforts to avoid re-election for the first time.
Rutts old time pal Muddy also scored well in week 35. Happy Hammers like Goonersmoan are battling to get their way out of re-election and Muddy's 33 points helped them to 19th, 7 points from safety.
Lets all beat the Gooners also did themselves no harm scoring 35 points and moving to their highest point in 5 weeks.
If James Bird thought week 34's 2 points were bad then week 35 was twice as bad as Only one 'f' in Forest mustered just 1 point - the season's 4th worst (3 managers have scored 0 points - Nobby, Godders & Crowley). Amazingly after scoring 3 points in 2 weeks Birdy remains in 22nd place in the Championship.
In a low scoring week the Fac r/i twins of Rutts and Francis shared the MoW award with 37 points each helping both sides out at seperate ends of the table.
Lamb to the slaughter wheedled their way into 9th spot hot on the heels of You got more toes, while Goonersmoan jumped another place in their efforts to avoid re-election for the first time.
Rutts old time pal Muddy also scored well in week 35. Happy Hammers like Goonersmoan are battling to get their way out of re-election and Muddy's 33 points helped them to 19th, 7 points from safety.
Lets all beat the Gooners also did themselves no harm scoring 35 points and moving to their highest point in 5 weeks.
If James Bird thought week 34's 2 points were bad then week 35 was twice as bad as Only one 'f' in Forest mustered just 1 point - the season's 4th worst (3 managers have scored 0 points - Nobby, Godders & Crowley). Amazingly after scoring 3 points in 2 weeks Birdy remains in 22nd place in the Championship.
All gone tits for Tat!
Breaking News 8888 Week 35 - The Premiership
Ginger (not so) Athletic pulled further away from West Ham 4 West Germany 2 in the title race. Doyley's lead is now 18 points with 6 weeks to play.
The next 3 sides remain unchanged but Lets all beat the Gooners race into 6th with Jonny on my shoulder dropping one to 7th. You got more toes slip out the prize money into 8th.
Futher down the table Luadjembamaccorone make a big effort in week 35 to get back into the top 10 with 28 points and move upto 12th whereas Tatters top tips slide further away from making any money in his first season. Nige is now in 14th, his lowest place for quite sometime.
Ginger (not so) Athletic pulled further away from West Ham 4 West Germany 2 in the title race. Doyley's lead is now 18 points with 6 weeks to play.
The next 3 sides remain unchanged but Lets all beat the Gooners race into 6th with Jonny on my shoulder dropping one to 7th. You got more toes slip out the prize money into 8th.
Futher down the table Luadjembamaccorone make a big effort in week 35 to get back into the top 10 with 28 points and move upto 12th whereas Tatters top tips slide further away from making any money in his first season. Nige is now in 14th, his lowest place for quite sometime.
Lee making top 2 sweat
Breaking News 8888 - Week 35 - The Championship
Another fine week from Rose was ruined by a ladyboy meant that they now share 3rd place with Meg & Hannah's Bears and Danny's Geeza's just 2 points short of She fell over. Lee scored well for the 3rd consecutive week and gets into the top 4 for the first time since the league split 5 weeks back.
In what is an exciting race for the Championship title only 60 points seperate top from 9th with the luscious Flighty Feet still sat on top of the table.
At the bottom Super Eagles drop deeper into the re-election abyss after a week 34 score of just 14. Brian Dougal's Idiots guide to soccer remain firmly in the penultimate prize place.
Another fine week from Rose was ruined by a ladyboy meant that they now share 3rd place with Meg & Hannah's Bears and Danny's Geeza's just 2 points short of She fell over. Lee scored well for the 3rd consecutive week and gets into the top 4 for the first time since the league split 5 weeks back.
In what is an exciting race for the Championship title only 60 points seperate top from 9th with the luscious Flighty Feet still sat on top of the table.
At the bottom Super Eagles drop deeper into the re-election abyss after a week 34 score of just 14. Brian Dougal's Idiots guide to soccer remain firmly in the penultimate prize place.
Jenks banks fiver
Breaking News 8888 Week 36 scores 8888 Breaking News
Simon Jenkins normally banks a few quid during the N&R season and this one has been a poor one by his standards but that all changed in week 36 when Jenks picked up his 2nd MoW but more importantly edged towards a top 4 finish in the Championship as Can I get a waistcoat (and I still have no clue what the name means) climbed 3 places to 6th.
In the big time charlie Premiership table the top 6 dominance was broken for the first time in 5 weeks as Jonny on my shoulder penetrated (albeit undercover) it with a cocky 36 points in week 36. Rob is now in 5th and 2Infinity & beyond drop to 6th with Lets all beat the Gooners in the final big prize place of 7th.
Outside of the top 10 two managers improved their chances of money winning. Suzie's Ping Pong Yo-Yo leapt 2 places to 13th after slipping in 30 and Tatters top tips bounced back from a poor week 35 to knock in 31. Nige is now back into 12th.
In the Championhip re-election race Rutts' Goonersmoan once again showed that he can escape from the drop by scoring 32 and John Tiernan's Super Eagles scored 30.
Neil Cryer's Dale Allstars summed up their inconsistent season by earning the week's worst score of 2 points.
Simon Jenkins normally banks a few quid during the N&R season and this one has been a poor one by his standards but that all changed in week 36 when Jenks picked up his 2nd MoW but more importantly edged towards a top 4 finish in the Championship as Can I get a waistcoat (and I still have no clue what the name means) climbed 3 places to 6th.
In the big time charlie Premiership table the top 6 dominance was broken for the first time in 5 weeks as Jonny on my shoulder penetrated (albeit undercover) it with a cocky 36 points in week 36. Rob is now in 5th and 2Infinity & beyond drop to 6th with Lets all beat the Gooners in the final big prize place of 7th.
Outside of the top 10 two managers improved their chances of money winning. Suzie's Ping Pong Yo-Yo leapt 2 places to 13th after slipping in 30 and Tatters top tips bounced back from a poor week 35 to knock in 31. Nige is now back into 12th.
In the Championhip re-election race Rutts' Goonersmoan once again showed that he can escape from the drop by scoring 32 and John Tiernan's Super Eagles scored 30.
Neil Cryer's Dale Allstars summed up their inconsistent season by earning the week's worst score of 2 points.
Ben in grave danger
Breaking News 8888 Week 36 - The Premiership
Ben Graves will be kicking himself after a terrible score in week 36. His fantasy inexperience showed as he went into the last month of the season scoring his worst ever score of just 3 points!
Pete Doyle will be elated as Ginger (not so) Athletic increased their lead over West Ham 4 West Germany 2 at the top to 34 points after they scored a steady if not fantastic 19.
Meanwhile Ben's disastrous week gives Wenners Wannabes renewed hope after they scored 22 and close the gap on 2nd to just 31.
Back home stay in 4th for the 16th consecutive week while Jonny on my shoulder take up residence in 5th.
Keep the faith and Lamb to the slaughter swap places in the pink zone whilst in the chase for prize money Tatters top tips and Ping Pong Yo-Yo all make ground. The biggest faller of the week was Blessed are the cheesemakers who are going backwards in the table after notching 3, Ian's worst score of the season.
Ben Graves will be kicking himself after a terrible score in week 36. His fantasy inexperience showed as he went into the last month of the season scoring his worst ever score of just 3 points!
Pete Doyle will be elated as Ginger (not so) Athletic increased their lead over West Ham 4 West Germany 2 at the top to 34 points after they scored a steady if not fantastic 19.
Meanwhile Ben's disastrous week gives Wenners Wannabes renewed hope after they scored 22 and close the gap on 2nd to just 31.
Back home stay in 4th for the 16th consecutive week while Jonny on my shoulder take up residence in 5th.
Keep the faith and Lamb to the slaughter swap places in the pink zone whilst in the chase for prize money Tatters top tips and Ping Pong Yo-Yo all make ground. The biggest faller of the week was Blessed are the cheesemakers who are going backwards in the table after notching 3, Ian's worst score of the season.
Dan dares to test Flighty Feet's resolve
Breaking News 8888 - Week 36 - The Championship
After a number of weeks where the teams chasing Flighty Feet were having their own little battle we may have at last found a true challenger for the title.
Flighty Feet have been happily ensconced at the summit of the Championship since mid-March whilst others have been having their own battles. 2nd place has changed hands 5 times since the league split but maybe after 3 impressive weeks including one MoW Danny's Geeza's are ready to challenge the ladies from AIG.
Danny scored 28 in week 36, 13 more than Catherine and Karen and their lead has been cut to 9. She fell over, Rose was ruined by a ladyboy and Meg & Hannah's Bears slip back in the race but Can I get a waistcoat and Beer Monsters join it.
It seems to me that one or two teams will come out of the pack to challenge for the first ever N&R Championship title but the question is who will it be?
One big surprise to me is the disappearance of Pete Godfrey. Pull your finger out molly was the first week leader of the Championship and I like other fantasy old timers thought that was that but no. Godders has fallen 9 places since that first week and looks completely out of shakes.
If they can put a run together and find some lady luck then Californication, Better than 2nd and even moi, Make it a supersize (never underestimate the value of cheating) can finish in the top 4.
But, it is still Flighty Feet who lead the table but I think someone like Jenks or Rob Beere could be their biggest threat.
After a number of weeks where the teams chasing Flighty Feet were having their own little battle we may have at last found a true challenger for the title.
Flighty Feet have been happily ensconced at the summit of the Championship since mid-March whilst others have been having their own battles. 2nd place has changed hands 5 times since the league split but maybe after 3 impressive weeks including one MoW Danny's Geeza's are ready to challenge the ladies from AIG.
Danny scored 28 in week 36, 13 more than Catherine and Karen and their lead has been cut to 9. She fell over, Rose was ruined by a ladyboy and Meg & Hannah's Bears slip back in the race but Can I get a waistcoat and Beer Monsters join it.
It seems to me that one or two teams will come out of the pack to challenge for the first ever N&R Championship title but the question is who will it be?
One big surprise to me is the disappearance of Pete Godfrey. Pull your finger out molly was the first week leader of the Championship and I like other fantasy old timers thought that was that but no. Godders has fallen 9 places since that first week and looks completely out of shakes.
If they can put a run together and find some lady luck then Californication, Better than 2nd and even moi, Make it a supersize (never underestimate the value of cheating) can finish in the top 4.
But, it is still Flighty Feet who lead the table but I think someone like Jenks or Rob Beere could be their biggest threat.
Life in Brian yet
Breaking News 8888 - Week 36 - The Re-election race
They thought it was all over but no, old Rutts is still breathing and battling for his fantasy life. 139 points in 4 weeks including a MoW has propelled Goonersmoan to the edge of safety. After looking dead and buried they are now just 2 points behind Defoe's golden XI with still 5 weeks to play.
When I saw Rutts last week he was bemoaning an injury plagued season but some of those have cleared up and at long last he is showing last season's form.
Two other managers still going are Muddy Waters and John Tiernan. Both Happy Hammers and Super Eagles are in with a good shout of staving off re-election.
Only one 'f' in Forest, Idiots guide to soccer and Woody's Warriors are gone and contesting the Penultimate place award which surely Dougs should win but the other 3 positions could be between as many as 8 sides with even Roffey Rejects not yet safe in 14th place.
They thought it was all over but no, old Rutts is still breathing and battling for his fantasy life. 139 points in 4 weeks including a MoW has propelled Goonersmoan to the edge of safety. After looking dead and buried they are now just 2 points behind Defoe's golden XI with still 5 weeks to play.
When I saw Rutts last week he was bemoaning an injury plagued season but some of those have cleared up and at long last he is showing last season's form.
Two other managers still going are Muddy Waters and John Tiernan. Both Happy Hammers and Super Eagles are in with a good shout of staving off re-election.
Only one 'f' in Forest, Idiots guide to soccer and Woody's Warriors are gone and contesting the Penultimate place award which surely Dougs should win but the other 3 positions could be between as many as 8 sides with even Roffey Rejects not yet safe in 14th place.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Road to Cardiff - Geordies well beaten by United
Newcastle passed the N&R FL Road the Cardiff baton onto Man Utd without much of a fight at The Millennium Stadium. United who beat our 'supported team' Millwall in last season's final will play Arsenal in what hopefully will be the best and most action packed season finale we have seen for many a year.
Newcastle were lucklustre to say the least and never showed any of the passion that saw of Chelsea in an earlier round.
RUUD VAN NISTELROY's flicked finish put Sir Alex Ferguson's side ahead. A near-post PAUL SCHOLES header doubled the lead just before half-time and VAN NISTELROY's sidefoot shot confirmed the Red Devils' dominance.
SHOLA AMOEBI steered in an effort for Newcastle but ace diver CRISTIANO RONALDO's shot ended their faint hopes of a comeback.
The defeat ended a bad week for the Geordies who were knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Sporting Lisbon a few days before. A disappointed but honest Alan Shearer said: "It's been a tough week and it hasn't ended on a good note, It's fair to say the best team went through."
Team: Given, Carr, Boumsong, Taylor, Babayaro (Andrew O'Brien 45), Milner (Kluivert 63), Faye (N'Zogbia 45), Butt, Robert, Ameobi, Shearer
Subs Not Used: Harper, Ambrose.
Attendence: 69,280 (at Millennium Stadium)
MoM: Shay Given
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
In the news - Germans chose 1 of 3 lions
Rather surprisingly a Lion has been chosen to be Germany's 2006 World Cup mascot. One that looks like David Beckham too!
His or it's name is Goleo VI "at just 18, the rascally lion is still young but already brimming with confidence in his own abilities. He combines the looks of Lothar Matthäus, the elegance of Diego Maradona and the all-round ability of Oliver Bierhoff - or so the brash young lion says of himself in his first interview, albeit with a wink and a grin." (more). What bollocks.
Next up the World Cup song and it will never be as good as Spain 1982.
My kinda town
It's been a busy few weeks for Nobby. I finally moved into my new pad on Monday after what seems like ages after I closed on it. My last few weekends have been taken up with painting and decorating. And yes, that is why god decided that I would be an Insurance Broker.
It is good finally to have a place to call my own after living in 3 rented places in 17 months. I really don't want to see any bubble-wrap for a long while!
I need to tell people because it has been bugging me that a Paul Hurdle spitting image installed my television cable, just the Essex drawl was replaced by a Eastern European one.
It has been a hectic month work wise too. The April quarter is my busiest time but next week I am going on holiday and that is followed by a trip to London for a week with a client who I will hope to lose so I can get out and have a couple of pints. I will let people know if I can get out for a snifter.
So weeks 34 and 35 will be delayed I am afraid. Keep the transfers coming because they will be backdated. I am still short of some entry cash and will be bringing a list with me to the smoke to hopefully collect what is owed.
Hope to see you around the City in a couple of weeks. Nobs
It is good finally to have a place to call my own after living in 3 rented places in 17 months. I really don't want to see any bubble-wrap for a long while!
I need to tell people because it has been bugging me that a Paul Hurdle spitting image installed my television cable, just the Essex drawl was replaced by a Eastern European one.
It has been a hectic month work wise too. The April quarter is my busiest time but next week I am going on holiday and that is followed by a trip to London for a week with a client who I will hope to lose so I can get out and have a couple of pints. I will let people know if I can get out for a snifter.
So weeks 34 and 35 will be delayed I am afraid. Keep the transfers coming because they will be backdated. I am still short of some entry cash and will be bringing a list with me to the smoke to hopefully collect what is owed.
Hope to see you around the City in a couple of weeks. Nobs
Week 33 a blank
Due to the World Cup Qualifiers last weekend and again this week there were no Premiership games played during week 33.
Ginger spice
Breaking News 8888 Week 32 - The Premiership
7 weeks after relinquishing the lead to West Ham 4 West Germany 2, Ginger (not so) Athletic regained the number 1 position after scoring the week 32's best score of 65. It was Pete's 2nd MoW in 3 weeks. 12 points is now the difference between the top 2.
The next 5 sides remain unaltered but both Back Home and 2Infinity & beyond had good weeks scoring 49, the same coincidentially as West Ham 4 Krauts 2.
Into the prize money position of 7th go You got more toes. Lee hit 43. Lets all best the Gooners drop to 8th, Mark's lowest spot for 2 months.
And Tatters top tips lose their pink place after occupying one for 8 weeks.
7 weeks after relinquishing the lead to West Ham 4 West Germany 2, Ginger (not so) Athletic regained the number 1 position after scoring the week 32's best score of 65. It was Pete's 2nd MoW in 3 weeks. 12 points is now the difference between the top 2.
The next 5 sides remain unaltered but both Back Home and 2Infinity & beyond had good weeks scoring 49, the same coincidentially as West Ham 4 Krauts 2.
Into the prize money position of 7th go You got more toes. Lee hit 43. Lets all best the Gooners drop to 8th, Mark's lowest spot for 2 months.
And Tatters top tips lose their pink place after occupying one for 8 weeks.
Girls on their toes from Bears
Breaking News 8888 - Week 32 - The Championship
Alex Boswell's Meg & Hannah's Bears are hunting down Karen & Catherine's Flighty Feet at the top of the Championship. Boswell closed the gap in week 32 after adding 43 to his score. She fell over drop to 3rd.
Beer Monsters and Moulsters Molesters were also climbers last week. Rob Beere snaring 41 and Shaun going 3 better as they improved their positions in the table. Pull your finger out molly remain in 4th.
The big news in the Championship was at the bottom of the table.
The bottom 4 remained untouched although Idiots guide to soccer hit a personal 32-week best of 52 points and get within touching distance of Goonersmoan. Pride is of course at stake but so is 25 nicker!
Another season's best was had by fellow septic Tim Feldbruegge. In recent weeks young Timothy has been playing like Brazil, pity most of the season he was playing like Scotland.
Cheeky Americans are now at a season high of 18th and out of the bottom 6 for the first time ever.
Defoe's golden XI's re-election worries also seem a thing of the past. Another 58 points - the 3rd best of the week - saw Mark move further away from trouble and into 16th. The Elephant man(ager) are sandwiched between Mark & Tim in 17th.
Last weeks MoW (well they would have been if there had been one!) Herecomethewildebeestes jump another place to 14th above Hammers like coke.
The name of Super Eagles (sic) appears for the first time in the re-election zone after they dropped 2 places to 19th. Tiernan's side has hovered above the drop-zone nearly all season but following another disappointing week they finally have the dreaded black mark against their name.
Alex Boswell's Meg & Hannah's Bears are hunting down Karen & Catherine's Flighty Feet at the top of the Championship. Boswell closed the gap in week 32 after adding 43 to his score. She fell over drop to 3rd.
Beer Monsters and Moulsters Molesters were also climbers last week. Rob Beere snaring 41 and Shaun going 3 better as they improved their positions in the table. Pull your finger out molly remain in 4th.
The big news in the Championship was at the bottom of the table.
The bottom 4 remained untouched although Idiots guide to soccer hit a personal 32-week best of 52 points and get within touching distance of Goonersmoan. Pride is of course at stake but so is 25 nicker!
Another season's best was had by fellow septic Tim Feldbruegge. In recent weeks young Timothy has been playing like Brazil, pity most of the season he was playing like Scotland.
Cheeky Americans are now at a season high of 18th and out of the bottom 6 for the first time ever.
Defoe's golden XI's re-election worries also seem a thing of the past. Another 58 points - the 3rd best of the week - saw Mark move further away from trouble and into 16th. The Elephant man(ager) are sandwiched between Mark & Tim in 17th.
Last weeks MoW (well they would have been if there had been one!) Herecomethewildebeestes jump another place to 14th above Hammers like coke.
The name of Super Eagles (sic) appears for the first time in the re-election zone after they dropped 2 places to 19th. Tiernan's side has hovered above the drop-zone nearly all season but following another disappointing week they finally have the dreaded black mark against their name.
Los Galacticos son espalda en la rosa
Breaking News 8888 Week 32 scores 8888 Breaking News
Carl Dillaway's Galacticos are back in the top 10 after an absence of almost 5 months. Where have you been Carl? A 62 point week was the reason for the promotion and further improvement is not beyond the handsome young Chav.
Nobby is setting himself up for a nice run, with some enterprising accounting of course. My biggest week of 2005 - 52 points, helped Make it a supersize push for some prize money.
Once again it was a week for the Championship side's with 4 of the best 6 scores coming from the 2nd tier.
The worst weekly score was from Hammers on coke, who slipped a place to 15th, after scoring a still quite respectable 21.
Carl Dillaway's Galacticos are back in the top 10 after an absence of almost 5 months. Where have you been Carl? A 62 point week was the reason for the promotion and further improvement is not beyond the handsome young Chav.
Nobby is setting himself up for a nice run, with some enterprising accounting of course. My biggest week of 2005 - 52 points, helped Make it a supersize push for some prize money.
Once again it was a week for the Championship side's with 4 of the best 6 scores coming from the 2nd tier.
The worst weekly score was from Hammers on coke, who slipped a place to 15th, after scoring a still quite respectable 21.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Bushism
Today's George 'Dubya' Bush quote:
"Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W. lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the bible, I will swear to not - to uphold the laws of the land."
Toledo, Ohio. October 27, 2000
Got that? Right.
"Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W. lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the bible, I will swear to not - to uphold the laws of the land."
Toledo, Ohio. October 27, 2000
Got that? Right.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Lock up your daughters England are coming
Chicago's impressive Soldier Field will host England's first visit to the US since 1993 on May 28th, which is Memorial holiday weekend here. Sven has promised a full squad except for Real Madrid's Michael Owen and David Beckham whose La Liga season does not finish until the next day.
Alex Ferguson promised the same mind, when United played Bayern Munich here last summer but instead played a side made up of youngsters. Let's hope this game does more to help 'soccer's' popularity here because that game was truly awful.
Tickets become available on March 31st and start at $28 and I should have a little firm up for the match.
Alex Ferguson promised the same mind, when United played Bayern Munich here last summer but instead played a side made up of youngsters. Let's hope this game does more to help 'soccer's' popularity here because that game was truly awful.
Tickets become available on March 31st and start at $28 and I should have a little firm up for the match.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Who, which & why? - Tim Feldbruegge
Tim features in this weeks Who, which & why series. I have a few banked but would like a few more before the season is out so keep them coming.
Tim talks up steak and biscuits for breakfast and bratwurst's for half time! He has obviously never been to Brisbane Road.
And it is interesting to see that Bobby Moore and Des Lynam are famous here for reasons other than West Ham and TV fans will know and remember them.
Tim talks up steak and biscuits for breakfast and bratwurst's for half time! He has obviously never been to Brisbane Road.
And it is interesting to see that Bobby Moore and Des Lynam are famous here for reasons other than West Ham and TV fans will know and remember them.
Close but no cigar
Breaking News 8888 Week 31 scores 8888 Breaking News
Sorry but it was rule book time again in week 31. Page 46, paragraph 4, sub-section XI of the N&R FL rule book reads that more than 10 Premiership teams have to play in any one week for there to be a MoW award and for the scores to go towards the best or worst weekly score. In week 31, which was FA Cup QF week, only 7 Premiership teams played so I'm afraid Mr Hepburn that your best weekly score of 31 was in vain.
Herecomethewildebeestes did in fact score 31 points, 4 more than Tom Finney's splash and 6 more than Jonny on my shoulder, Keep the faith, Flighty Feet and Can I get a waistcoat. Tough titty as they say in all the best plastic surgeries.
Equally happy or unhappy will be Godders as Pull your finger out Molly scored a fat round 0.
Sorry but it was rule book time again in week 31. Page 46, paragraph 4, sub-section XI of the N&R FL rule book reads that more than 10 Premiership teams have to play in any one week for there to be a MoW award and for the scores to go towards the best or worst weekly score. In week 31, which was FA Cup QF week, only 7 Premiership teams played so I'm afraid Mr Hepburn that your best weekly score of 31 was in vain.
Herecomethewildebeestes did in fact score 31 points, 4 more than Tom Finney's splash and 6 more than Jonny on my shoulder, Keep the faith, Flighty Feet and Can I get a waistcoat. Tough titty as they say in all the best plastic surgeries.
Equally happy or unhappy will be Godders as Pull your finger out Molly scored a fat round 0.
Here's Jonny
Breaking News 8888 Week 31 - The Premiership
Jonny on my shoulder hurdled into the top 7 for the first time in 6 weeks after a 25-point week. You got more toes are the team to suffer as they go 8th.
I notice a little gap has opened after 8th with Keep the faith 30 points behind in 9th. Tatters top tips are also slipping, they are now in 10th.
Lower down The Premiership Lamb to the slaughter jumped 2 spots to 12th as did Ping Pong Yo-Yo to 15th.
At the top it is as tight as Greg Harris' arse at nightime in the dorm. Only 10 points seperate the top 2, West Ham 4 West Germany 2 and Ginger (not so) Athletic in the race to the title.
Jonny on my shoulder hurdled into the top 7 for the first time in 6 weeks after a 25-point week. You got more toes are the team to suffer as they go 8th.
I notice a little gap has opened after 8th with Keep the faith 30 points behind in 9th. Tatters top tips are also slipping, they are now in 10th.
Lower down The Premiership Lamb to the slaughter jumped 2 spots to 12th as did Ping Pong Yo-Yo to 15th.
At the top it is as tight as Greg Harris' arse at nightime in the dorm. Only 10 points seperate the top 2, West Ham 4 West Germany 2 and Ginger (not so) Athletic in the race to the title.
Flighty Feet fly into First
Breaking News 8888 - Week 31 - The Championship
Girl power leads The Championship after Barwick & Du Toit's Flighty Feet surged to top spot in week 31. Liz Keiller's She fell over improve to 2nd to give the top of the table a feminine touch. Old women Boswell and Godders drop to 3rd and 4th respectively. Pull your finger out Molly actually managed a round zilch points last week.
Up and down the table there was a lot of movement with Danny's Geeza's, Moulsters Molesters, Can I get a waistcoat, Make it a supersize, Californication, Herecomethewidebeests, Super Eagles all benefiters.
James Bird's Only one 'f' in Forest's 23 points took him above Cheeky Americans and Happy Hammers in the re-election dog-fight.
Girl power leads The Championship after Barwick & Du Toit's Flighty Feet surged to top spot in week 31. Liz Keiller's She fell over improve to 2nd to give the top of the table a feminine touch. Old women Boswell and Godders drop to 3rd and 4th respectively. Pull your finger out Molly actually managed a round zilch points last week.
Up and down the table there was a lot of movement with Danny's Geeza's, Moulsters Molesters, Can I get a waistcoat, Make it a supersize, Californication, Herecomethewidebeests, Super Eagles all benefiters.
James Bird's Only one 'f' in Forest's 23 points took him above Cheeky Americans and Happy Hammers in the re-election dog-fight.
Monday, March 14, 2005
My kinda town
I have this notion that Americans before they can say "Mommy" or "Daddy" learn how to whoop and scream. I know us Brits are generally reserved, well except in an office environment but the Yanks sure know how to get excited.
At any opportunity American's find a reason to clap, whoop, cheer, wave their arms in the air and shout and scream. In sport, every move is met with a whooped approval. On quiz shows they answer a question and clap themselves before the answer is given. High fives replace a nodded approval. Girls scream, not only when they are in my company, but at a drop of a hat and heaven forbid someone spotting a television camera. It is taught at an early age that it must be screeched into looking like a mad thing, normally holding up some hurriedly produced banner like "Hello Wichita" or some equally fucked up faraway place where everyone has the same surname.
In fact it is more likely that the average American 2-year old's first words would be "whose ya Daddy" as opposed to plain "Dadda."
At any opportunity American's find a reason to clap, whoop, cheer, wave their arms in the air and shout and scream. In sport, every move is met with a whooped approval. On quiz shows they answer a question and clap themselves before the answer is given. High fives replace a nodded approval. Girls scream, not only when they are in my company, but at a drop of a hat and heaven forbid someone spotting a television camera. It is taught at an early age that it must be screeched into looking like a mad thing, normally holding up some hurriedly produced banner like "Hello Wichita" or some equally fucked up faraway place where everyone has the same surname.
In fact it is more likely that the average American 2-year old's first words would be "whose ya Daddy" as opposed to plain "Dadda."
More prizes announced as N&R FL split in two
So this is it.... suurrprise! Two divisions - The Premiership and The Championship. The N&R league table was split down the middle after week 30 giving those mid-table drifters something to play for during the last 10 weeks of the season. We purposely held some prize money back at the beginning of the season and that will now be awarded as follows:
The Championship winner - £60
Runner Up - £30
3rd place - £20
4th place - £10
The original awards will continue. These were to remind you, as follows:
N&R FL Premiership Champion - £200 + prestigious trophy
Runner Up - £140
3rd place - £120
4th place - £100
5th place - £75
6th place - £50
7th place - £25
8th pink place - £10
9th pink place - £10
10th pink place - £10
46th place - £25
Best weekly score - £25
Worst weekly score - £25
Ready's Bangkok Bet - £25 WON BY SUZIE SYRETT
Manager of the Week - £5 x 41
Team Challenge - Trophy
(All £ prizes can be in $ equilavent)
That means the prize pot extends to 59 individual prizes. All for the entry fee of a round of beers.
The weekly scores will continue to be added to individual teams as before but no one will change league - the 23 Premiership teams and the 22 Championship teams will remain in their own divisions.
By my reckoning every manager with 10 weeks of the season remaining has something to play for. Whether it be the title, a top 7 or 10 prize, the Championship title, a runners up prize or the tight re-election battle.
All other rules will remain in place unless Nobby or Ready get bored and change them. You never know, anything can happen in the N&R FL.
The Championship winner - £60
Runner Up - £30
3rd place - £20
4th place - £10
The original awards will continue. These were to remind you, as follows:
N&R FL Premiership Champion - £200 + prestigious trophy
Runner Up - £140
3rd place - £120
4th place - £100
5th place - £75
6th place - £50
7th place - £25
8th pink place - £10
9th pink place - £10
10th pink place - £10
46th place - £25
Best weekly score - £25
Worst weekly score - £25
Ready's Bangkok Bet - £25 WON BY SUZIE SYRETT
Manager of the Week - £5 x 41
Team Challenge - Trophy
(All £ prizes can be in $ equilavent)
That means the prize pot extends to 59 individual prizes. All for the entry fee of a round of beers.
The weekly scores will continue to be added to individual teams as before but no one will change league - the 23 Premiership teams and the 22 Championship teams will remain in their own divisions.
By my reckoning every manager with 10 weeks of the season remaining has something to play for. Whether it be the title, a top 7 or 10 prize, the Championship title, a runners up prize or the tight re-election battle.
All other rules will remain in place unless Nobby or Ready get bored and change them. You never know, anything can happen in the N&R FL.
The Premiership race
Breaking News 8888 Week 30 - The Premiership
The top 9 places did not alter after week 30's round of matches. The big news though was that Ginger (not so) Athletic closed the gap on West Ham 4 West Germany 2 to just 13 points. Only Doyley excelled in week 30 as others stuttered, particularly Tatters top tips who scored just 16.
Keep the faith moved up a place to joint 9th after scoring 30, whilst outside bet Blessed are the cheesmakers climbed two places to 12th after nabbing 31.
At what is now the bottom Someone other than Arse or Man U swapped places with Tom Finneys splash. Martin remember was in the bottom 6 up until the end of November. Bondy meanwhile maybe bottom of The Premiership but is only 94 points short of 10th - very achievable indeed.
The top 9 places did not alter after week 30's round of matches. The big news though was that Ginger (not so) Athletic closed the gap on West Ham 4 West Germany 2 to just 13 points. Only Doyley excelled in week 30 as others stuttered, particularly Tatters top tips who scored just 16.
Keep the faith moved up a place to joint 9th after scoring 30, whilst outside bet Blessed are the cheesmakers climbed two places to 12th after nabbing 31.
At what is now the bottom Someone other than Arse or Man U swapped places with Tom Finneys splash. Martin remember was in the bottom 6 up until the end of November. Bondy meanwhile maybe bottom of The Premiership but is only 94 points short of 10th - very achievable indeed.
The Championship race
Breaking News 8888 - Week 30 - The Championship
Well, well, well. Suddenly She fell over, Beer Monsters and Rose was ruined by a ladyboy who all thought their season's were over have a new opportunity to win some money. And Meg and Hannah's bears, Better than 2nd, Can I get a waistcoat and maybe even Cheeky Americans who have spent most if not all of the first 30 weeks of the season battling against re-election could now find themselves walking off with some prize money in May.
However it is fantasy old timer Pete Godfrey whose Pull your finger out molly lead The Championship race by just one point from girl on girl Flighty Feet and Meg & Hannah's bears. She fell over are just a further 3 points away in 4th.
The bottom half of the N&R table always has more movement than the more stable top half, so everyone right down to The elephant man(ager) in 15th have a great chance of winning some cash.
As if by magic it was The Championship teams who led the way in week 30. Danny's Geeza's leapt 4 places after whacking a magnificent 57 points. Cheeky American's are on a real run now. Tim hit 56 and climb another 2 places as his new look side look increasingly likely to avoid the drop.
Herecomethewidebeests had their best week since August scoring 54 and they move up a spot. Goonersmoan at last found their scoring boots and hit 52. They climb away from Idiots guide to soccer who seem pretty comfy in the prized penultimate place.
Only one 'f' in Forest's effort matched the boys from the City Ground with a poor performance and fall 2 places in the re-election zone.
Well, well, well. Suddenly She fell over, Beer Monsters and Rose was ruined by a ladyboy who all thought their season's were over have a new opportunity to win some money. And Meg and Hannah's bears, Better than 2nd, Can I get a waistcoat and maybe even Cheeky Americans who have spent most if not all of the first 30 weeks of the season battling against re-election could now find themselves walking off with some prize money in May.
However it is fantasy old timer Pete Godfrey whose Pull your finger out molly lead The Championship race by just one point from girl on girl Flighty Feet and Meg & Hannah's bears. She fell over are just a further 3 points away in 4th.
The bottom half of the N&R table always has more movement than the more stable top half, so everyone right down to The elephant man(ager) in 15th have a great chance of winning some cash.
As if by magic it was The Championship teams who led the way in week 30. Danny's Geeza's leapt 4 places after whacking a magnificent 57 points. Cheeky American's are on a real run now. Tim hit 56 and climb another 2 places as his new look side look increasingly likely to avoid the drop.
Herecomethewidebeests had their best week since August scoring 54 and they move up a spot. Goonersmoan at last found their scoring boots and hit 52. They climb away from Idiots guide to soccer who seem pretty comfy in the prized penultimate place.
Only one 'f' in Forest's effort matched the boys from the City Ground with a poor performance and fall 2 places in the re-election zone.
Ginger takes biscuit
Breaking News 8888 Week 30 scores 8888 Breaking News
I almost forgot. Peter Doyle collected his 2nd MoW award in week 30 top scoring with 61 points, 4 more than Danny Matthews but more importantly 17 more than Ben Graves.
The rejuvenated Tim Felbruegge hit his best score of the season (56) whilst Tony Hepburn scored well with 54. Amazingly apart from Doyley, 8 of the best 9 scores were made by Championship managers! Wow, even Rutts turned in a good week with 49, his best since August!
Alex Boswell scored 53, Rob Beere 52, Shaun Moulster 48 and Chris Waterman 47. Alan Waters made it an excellent week for the re-election candidates knocking in 46 as the battle really hots up at the bottom of The Championship table.
Surprisingly 9th placed Premiership manager Nigel Tatlock worst scored with 16.
I almost forgot. Peter Doyle collected his 2nd MoW award in week 30 top scoring with 61 points, 4 more than Danny Matthews but more importantly 17 more than Ben Graves.
The rejuvenated Tim Felbruegge hit his best score of the season (56) whilst Tony Hepburn scored well with 54. Amazingly apart from Doyley, 8 of the best 9 scores were made by Championship managers! Wow, even Rutts turned in a good week with 49, his best since August!
Alex Boswell scored 53, Rob Beere 52, Shaun Moulster 48 and Chris Waterman 47. Alan Waters made it an excellent week for the re-election candidates knocking in 46 as the battle really hots up at the bottom of The Championship table.
Surprisingly 9th placed Premiership manager Nigel Tatlock worst scored with 16.
Road to Cardiff - St Patrick's Day
I don't think Patrick Kluivert is Irish but then again nor or the thousands of people in Chicago this weekend wearing stupid green hats, beads and drinking Guinness like they know where the River Liffey really is. "Is it in Europe?" Erm, quite.
Back to the Cup. It was Kluivert's early goal that gave the Toon victory over runaway Chelsea in the last round and he did it again yesterday putting pay to the mighty Spurs' Cup run. Oh well, there is always 2010. Didn't Spurs always win something when the year ended in an 0? Or was that about a million years ago when they were a big club?
It was Patrick Kluivert's goal and a spate of Shay Given saves sealed Newcastle's place in the semi-finals of the FA Cup, where they will have to add Man Utd's scalp to the list of Chelsea and Yeading if they are to lift the glittering trophy for the first time in 50 years.
KLUIVERT scored from eight yards after Alan Shearer had brushed off Ledley King before picking out his team-mate with five minutes gone on the clock.
Tottenham did fight back, with Given brilliantly thwarting Robbie Keane then Jermain Defoe, as well as saving from Frederic Kanoute and Timothee Atouba. Keane had a late strike ruled out for a debatable foul by Anthony Gardner.
Newcastle were indeed lucky to win through, with the goal their only shot on target and Spurs missing lucky charm Ossie Ardiles were unfortunate to head home without grabbing a replay.
Tottenham were better than us for the majority of the game," said Souness.
"But we dug deep and we held on when the going was rough. I don't think two months ago we would have won that game. The players should be very proud."
Team: Given, Carr, Bramble (Jenas 40), Boumsong, Hughes, Dyer, Bowyer, Faye, Robert (Milner 81), Shearer, Kluivert (Ameobi 68).
Subs Not Used: Harper, Butt.
Attendance: 51,307
MoM: Shay Given
Geordies to play Man U in Semi
Man U and Arsenal were kept apart in the FA Cup Semi-Final draw today. So Chelsea's conquerors Newcastle United play United whilst Blackburn play Arsenal.
Both games will be played at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday 16 and Sunday 17 April.
Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd said afterwards: "It's not the draw we wanted, but it won't have been the draw Manchester United wanted either. There's no reason why we cannot beat them. We won't be frightened of them, we owe them one for the Charity Shield defeat at Wembley in 1996 and also for the FA Cup final defeat in 1999, so we'll look forward to this one. Reet then I'm off to the brothel for lunch."
Both games will be played at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday 16 and Sunday 17 April.
Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd said afterwards: "It's not the draw we wanted, but it won't have been the draw Manchester United wanted either. There's no reason why we cannot beat them. We won't be frightened of them, we owe them one for the Charity Shield defeat at Wembley in 1996 and also for the FA Cup final defeat in 1999, so we'll look forward to this one. Reet then I'm off to the brothel for lunch."
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Road to Cardiff - All the way to the Semi's
Newcastle United led us to the Semi Finals of the FA Cup today beating the Spudz 1-0 (report to follow). Newcastle became our 6th team on the Road to Cardiff in the 3rd Round when they beat little Yeading. It seems a long time ago since we chose Odd Down back in August.
The Geordies are now just 1 game away from the Millennium Stadium. The Semi-Final draw is tomorrow (Monday). The draw will be announced on the N&R FL website once known.
SF Newcastle v ??
QF Newcastle 1, Tottenham 0
Scorer: Kluivert
Attendance: 51,307
5th R Newcastle 1, Chelsea 0
Scorer: Kluivert
Attendance: 45,740
4th R Newcastle 3, Coventry 1
Scorers: Shearer, Amoebi, Babayaro
Attendance: 44,044
3rd R Yeading 0, Newcastle 2
Scorers: Bowyer, Amoebi
Attendance: 10,824 (Held at Loftus Road)
2nd R Slough Town 1, Yeading 3
Scorer: Harris
Attendance: 2,418
1st R Slough Town 2, Walsall 1
Scorers: Hodges, Harris
Attendance: 2,023
4th QR Slough Town 3, Salisbury City 2
Scorers: Matthews, Wallace
Attendance: 1,195
3rd QR Weston-Super-Mare 1, Salisbury City 3
Scorers: Davis (2), Matthews
Attendance: 543
2nd QR Replay Frome Town 0, Salisbury City 3
Attendance: 665
2nd QR Salisbury City 1, Frome Town 1
Scorer: Salter
Attendance: 636
1st QR Replay Backwell United 1, Frome Town 3
Scorer: Bloomfield
Attendance: 90 (played at Clevedon Town FC)
1st QR Frome Town 2, Backwell United 2
Scorers: Hewitt, Bryne
Attendance: 191
Prelim Round Backwell United 2, Bridgewater Town 1
Attendance: 83
Extra Prelim Round Backwell United 3, Odd Down 2
Scorers: Quoi, Tilley
Attendance: 26
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Letters & things
A little note from Mike Robertson that made me all sentimental....
I saw Ready in the RSA yesterday - Ah memories of Lloyds Chambers....
Christmas Party.. a venue at the top of the Minories.. Drunk.. Ready on top of me.. Gibbo on top of him..right hook... ouch my back hurts.
Cheers
Robbo
And it's the 150 tomorrow. Avoid Rob Munden at all costs, he is a ginger pest at those events. In fact the 150 also brings back cracking and terrible memories. There was that fucking awful news reporter who basically got booed off stage. When will they learn that people are not there to listen to the in's and out's of contingent business interruption and some old 'd' celeb talking bollocks, they are there to catch up with old muckers and get trollied.
One year I got into a red wine drinking race with Matt Grimwade and Paul Knight and we were on some big nobs RSA table at the front and we were hoovering red like no tomorrow. Anyway we kept knocking glasses of the table and were giggling like schoolgirls and getting daggers from the old duffers on the stage.
That day I also had a bit of a primary with Ready - 7 pints of Wife Beater and a pizza (I'm sure it was the dodgy pepperoni!) and all I remember was being woken up by a black cab driver in West Malling, 120 notes on the meter and getting indoors to the ex her-indoors and her being nice to me for once. That was until I threw up in the downstairs khazi! I spent the whole of the weekend redecorating the bloody bathroom! Never seen so much red vom in my life. Oh well, I will be thinking of those of you that will be attending tomorrow night. Have fun, avoid the boring twats and anyone ginger staggering around with a glass in his hand and a Leeds United lapel badge.
Cheers
Nobs
I saw Ready in the RSA yesterday - Ah memories of Lloyds Chambers....
Christmas Party.. a venue at the top of the Minories.. Drunk.. Ready on top of me.. Gibbo on top of him..right hook... ouch my back hurts.
Cheers
Robbo
And it's the 150 tomorrow. Avoid Rob Munden at all costs, he is a ginger pest at those events. In fact the 150 also brings back cracking and terrible memories. There was that fucking awful news reporter who basically got booed off stage. When will they learn that people are not there to listen to the in's and out's of contingent business interruption and some old 'd' celeb talking bollocks, they are there to catch up with old muckers and get trollied.
One year I got into a red wine drinking race with Matt Grimwade and Paul Knight and we were on some big nobs RSA table at the front and we were hoovering red like no tomorrow. Anyway we kept knocking glasses of the table and were giggling like schoolgirls and getting daggers from the old duffers on the stage.
That day I also had a bit of a primary with Ready - 7 pints of Wife Beater and a pizza (I'm sure it was the dodgy pepperoni!) and all I remember was being woken up by a black cab driver in West Malling, 120 notes on the meter and getting indoors to the ex her-indoors and her being nice to me for once. That was until I threw up in the downstairs khazi! I spent the whole of the weekend redecorating the bloody bathroom! Never seen so much red vom in my life. Oh well, I will be thinking of those of you that will be attending tomorrow night. Have fun, avoid the boring twats and anyone ginger staggering around with a glass in his hand and a Leeds United lapel badge.
Cheers
Nobs
Sunday, March 06, 2005
The have and the have nots
Other the last couple of months there have been some significent shifts in form amongst the N&R FL managers.
For example early pace-setters like Luadjemba have slipped out of contention despite being in the top 10 every week up until mid January. Other teams such as Lamb to the slaughter, Ping Pong Yo-Yo and Sweaty shagged a shemale have also recently dropped out of the race.
But there is a new order in the top 10. Ex champion Barry Plummer has revived his 2Infinity & Beyond side and are leading the chase of the long time top 4. Lets all beat the Gooners are not long behind them either.
Jonny on my shoulder were languishing in mid-table a few months back but have now established themselves in the top 10 and You got more toes were the early league leaders, but then slipped right out of it but are now back in the stew.
Two teams outside of the top 10 also catch my eye. Galacticos have at last put some consistency together and Blessed are the cheesemakers are on a marvellous run.
11 weeks remain and the title is wide open. West Ham 4 West Germany 2 are 30 points clear and favourites to win the title in their first ever season but there is a whole lot of experienced fantasy managers chasing them down the home straight - Doyley, Wenners, Paull, Plummer, Simmons, Day and Munden have all been there before.
Down at the bottom we have seen Tom Finney's splash, Meg & Hannah's bears and Better than 2nd all move away from trouble. Martin very expertly climbing the table in particular.
Californication and Defoe's golden XI have more recently improved their hopes of avoiding the re-election battle with good weekly performances.
And then we have seen the two American's begin to get the hang of the game and start their long crusade away from danger. Cheeky American's and Idiots guide to soccer both using their transfer opportunities to give them a spring-board to success in the last quarter of the season.
On the flip side Goonersmoan have had a disastrous last few months. A pre-season title consideration, Rutts started the season on fire but now has a desperate re-election battle on his hands. And the dream duo managed Woody's Warriors have hit rock bottom and can't seem to find a way out.
Other sides nervously looking over their shoulders are Super Eagles who have dangled above the drop zone for weeks and my very own Make it a supersize who are going backwards.
Looking higher up the table at teams with poor-form symptoms, there are two sides in particular who are wallowing quite badly. Rose was ruined by a ladyboy and Beer Monsters both flirted with the top 10 but are in a real bad run of form. Just like the real thing, a team nearly always drops from mid-table into the re-election fight during the last part of the season.
So, with 11 weeks left it is all to play for.... but just when you thought it was safe, we are going to add a little ingredient to the mix!
For example early pace-setters like Luadjemba have slipped out of contention despite being in the top 10 every week up until mid January. Other teams such as Lamb to the slaughter, Ping Pong Yo-Yo and Sweaty shagged a shemale have also recently dropped out of the race.
But there is a new order in the top 10. Ex champion Barry Plummer has revived his 2Infinity & Beyond side and are leading the chase of the long time top 4. Lets all beat the Gooners are not long behind them either.
Jonny on my shoulder were languishing in mid-table a few months back but have now established themselves in the top 10 and You got more toes were the early league leaders, but then slipped right out of it but are now back in the stew.
Two teams outside of the top 10 also catch my eye. Galacticos have at last put some consistency together and Blessed are the cheesemakers are on a marvellous run.
11 weeks remain and the title is wide open. West Ham 4 West Germany 2 are 30 points clear and favourites to win the title in their first ever season but there is a whole lot of experienced fantasy managers chasing them down the home straight - Doyley, Wenners, Paull, Plummer, Simmons, Day and Munden have all been there before.
Down at the bottom we have seen Tom Finney's splash, Meg & Hannah's bears and Better than 2nd all move away from trouble. Martin very expertly climbing the table in particular.
Californication and Defoe's golden XI have more recently improved their hopes of avoiding the re-election battle with good weekly performances.
And then we have seen the two American's begin to get the hang of the game and start their long crusade away from danger. Cheeky American's and Idiots guide to soccer both using their transfer opportunities to give them a spring-board to success in the last quarter of the season.
On the flip side Goonersmoan have had a disastrous last few months. A pre-season title consideration, Rutts started the season on fire but now has a desperate re-election battle on his hands. And the dream duo managed Woody's Warriors have hit rock bottom and can't seem to find a way out.
Other sides nervously looking over their shoulders are Super Eagles who have dangled above the drop zone for weeks and my very own Make it a supersize who are going backwards.
Looking higher up the table at teams with poor-form symptoms, there are two sides in particular who are wallowing quite badly. Rose was ruined by a ladyboy and Beer Monsters both flirted with the top 10 but are in a real bad run of form. Just like the real thing, a team nearly always drops from mid-table into the re-election fight during the last part of the season.
So, with 11 weeks left it is all to play for.... but just when you thought it was safe, we are going to add a little ingredient to the mix!
Nobby & Ready to rock the FL world in week 30
It's a big week next week in the N&R FL. Only Nobby & Ready know why its a big week, that's the surprise see? We will make history at the end of week 30 by doing something we or any other FL has never done before, and we would love to tell you but we can't. It's for your benefit and we don't want to spoil the surprise.
Just to say that it will open the whole competition up, remember to keep those transfers coming.
Just to say that it will open the whole competition up, remember to keep those transfers coming.
Birdy swoops for a fiver
Breaking News 8888 Week 29 scores 8888 Breaking News
James Bird's Only one 'f' in Forest shook the disappointment of losing to Spurs in the FA Cup replay by winning week 29's MoW award, his 2nd of the season - not bad for a team that 25 of the 29 weeks in the bottom 6.
Birdy's 49 points was a massive 14 more than the next best weekly team. This was Lets all beat the Gooners who climb a place to 6th. Another high-flying side Back home was next up with 34 points, they closed the gap on Wenners Wannabe's to just 5 points.
Form team Blessed are the cheesemakers stole another place to 13th after scoring 32, the same as another ex AIG man Alex Boswell, whose Meg & Hannah's Bears jumped two places to 27th.
Jonny on my shoulder concreted their top 10 place by scoring another 30 points, a point more than Robbos on top, Tom Finney's splash, Flighty feet and You got more toes than us.
James Bird's Only one 'f' in Forest shook the disappointment of losing to Spurs in the FA Cup replay by winning week 29's MoW award, his 2nd of the season - not bad for a team that 25 of the 29 weeks in the bottom 6.
Birdy's 49 points was a massive 14 more than the next best weekly team. This was Lets all beat the Gooners who climb a place to 6th. Another high-flying side Back home was next up with 34 points, they closed the gap on Wenners Wannabe's to just 5 points.
Form team Blessed are the cheesemakers stole another place to 13th after scoring 32, the same as another ex AIG man Alex Boswell, whose Meg & Hannah's Bears jumped two places to 27th.
Jonny on my shoulder concreted their top 10 place by scoring another 30 points, a point more than Robbos on top, Tom Finney's splash, Flighty feet and You got more toes than us.
Coked
Breaking News 8888 Week 29 scores 8888 Breaking News
Hammers like coke were out of it in week 30. They turmed in the week's lowest score of 6 points, Tony's worst of the season. This leaves him looking furiously over his shoulder in 37th.
The only change in the re-election zone was Only one 'f' in Forest leapfrogging Happy Hammers. Cheeky Americans are clear of Goonersmoan after hitting another fine score of 28 points, and they are now just 3 shy of 43rd place.
Tim has probably just set a record too. He has made wholesale changes to his side. Only 3 players survived the cull and he has his sights set on at least finishing above me. Shit, where's that player list gone....
Hammers like coke were out of it in week 30. They turmed in the week's lowest score of 6 points, Tony's worst of the season. This leaves him looking furiously over his shoulder in 37th.
The only change in the re-election zone was Only one 'f' in Forest leapfrogging Happy Hammers. Cheeky Americans are clear of Goonersmoan after hitting another fine score of 28 points, and they are now just 3 shy of 43rd place.
Tim has probably just set a record too. He has made wholesale changes to his side. Only 3 players survived the cull and he has his sights set on at least finishing above me. Shit, where's that player list gone....
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Nil, zero, nada
Breaking News 8888 Week 28 scores 8888 Breaking News
Peter Godfrey, Giles Crowley & Nobby scored a big fat round zero in week 28 and between them will share the Season's worst weekly score prize unless it is beaten in the last few months of the season.
Week 28 was always going to be a low scoring affair what with only 11 Premiership teams playing in the 5th Round of the FA Cup but Pull your finger out molly, The elephant (man)ager & Make it a supersize 'exceeded' expectations with a weekly score of 0, 1 point less than Beer Monsters and two less than Rose was ruined by a ladyboy.
The current list of the season's worst weekly scores are as follows. Please note that the minimum team requirement per week is 10 to qualify for the prize.
1=. Peter Godfrey, 0 points, week 28
1=. Giles Crowley, 0 points, week 28
1=. Simon Newport, 0 points, week 28
4. Rob Beere, 1 point, week 28
5. Lee Baughan, 2 points, week 28
6=. Barrett / Baxter, 3 points, week 28
6=. Brian Dougal, 3 points, week 12
6=. Chris Waterman, 3 points, week 12
9. Mark Dewberry, 4 points, week 10
10. Neil Cryer, 5 points, week 28
Peter Godfrey, Giles Crowley & Nobby scored a big fat round zero in week 28 and between them will share the Season's worst weekly score prize unless it is beaten in the last few months of the season.
Week 28 was always going to be a low scoring affair what with only 11 Premiership teams playing in the 5th Round of the FA Cup but Pull your finger out molly, The elephant (man)ager & Make it a supersize 'exceeded' expectations with a weekly score of 0, 1 point less than Beer Monsters and two less than Rose was ruined by a ladyboy.
The current list of the season's worst weekly scores are as follows. Please note that the minimum team requirement per week is 10 to qualify for the prize.
1=. Peter Godfrey, 0 points, week 28
1=. Giles Crowley, 0 points, week 28
1=. Simon Newport, 0 points, week 28
4. Rob Beere, 1 point, week 28
5. Lee Baughan, 2 points, week 28
6=. Barrett / Baxter, 3 points, week 28
6=. Brian Dougal, 3 points, week 12
6=. Chris Waterman, 3 points, week 12
9. Mark Dewberry, 4 points, week 10
10. Neil Cryer, 5 points, week 28
Jenks hits jackpot
Breaking News 8888 Week 28 scores 8888 Breaking News
As mentioned above it week 28 was a quiet week in the N&R FL. The top 10 places remain unchanged but West Ham 4 West Germany 2 did increase their lead by a significant 10 points.
At the bottom Cheeky Americans scored 21 points to go back above Goonersmoan into 44nd place.
The Manager of the Week was Simon Jenkins who scored 32, which was excellent and Can I get a waistcoat pick up their first prize of the season. Herecomethewildebeests scored 30 and clambered a place away from danger, while 2Infinity & beyond edged closer to the top 4 with 24 points.
As mentioned above it week 28 was a quiet week in the N&R FL. The top 10 places remain unchanged but West Ham 4 West Germany 2 did increase their lead by a significant 10 points.
At the bottom Cheeky Americans scored 21 points to go back above Goonersmoan into 44nd place.
The Manager of the Week was Simon Jenkins who scored 32, which was excellent and Can I get a waistcoat pick up their first prize of the season. Herecomethewildebeests scored 30 and clambered a place away from danger, while 2Infinity & beyond edged closer to the top 4 with 24 points.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
In the news - How to cook an egg and get it all over your face!
Oh dear, how embarrassing. Norwich director Delia Smith and celebrity chef, fresh from knocking up a few eggs for breakfast in the morning, decided to grab the Public Address system at Carrow Road during the half time break of the crucial relegation battle with Manchester City on Monday night and issue a passionate plea.
She clearly felt that her fellow Canaries were not getting behind their team enough and our Delia screeched in her best Norfolk accent "This is a message for possibly the best supporters in the world. We need a 12th man. Where are you? Where are you?"
Travelling Man City fans and of course the whole of Suffolk found the whole episode hilarious and in a BBC poll 65% of those who responded found Delia's speech "excruciating", while 27% said it was it "funny". A minority of 8% viewed her attempt at motivation as "inspiring".
Is it time that women stayed at home in the kitchen and let the men go to the football?
Payment reminder
I am still short of some cash. I will send out a personal email shortly to those concerned as I would like the money before the end of the season!
There are 2 ways to pay me. One is to give either a cheque made out to me or the cash to Lee Baughan or Ready and secondly it is by popping into a Woolwich branch with 25 nicker giving them these details:
Bank - Woolwich
Account No. - 34342738
Sort Code - 10 80 12
Reference - L965427555Z
Name of Account - Simon Newport (Fantasy)
Thank you
Nobby
There are 2 ways to pay me. One is to give either a cheque made out to me or the cash to Lee Baughan or Ready and secondly it is by popping into a Woolwich branch with 25 nicker giving them these details:
Bank - Woolwich
Account No. - 34342738
Sort Code - 10 80 12
Reference - L965427555Z
Name of Account - Simon Newport (Fantasy)
Thank you
Nobby
My kinda town
I was back at home the weekend but didn't venture anywhere near the City. I am back again in April and will be around the market so I will let you know when and where for a sherbert.
I was back for Stuart Kilpatrick's wedding. I was his best man and clearly my speech was the highlight of the day! Truth be told I didn't eat a bloody thing and had two sips of wine before my turn came and I thought I was reasonably relaxed until it came to toasting the bride and groom and picked up my champers and my hand was shaking uncontrollably! It was a good day though and was good to see a few of the boys again.
It looks like next week will be my first full week in the office since the turn of the year which is quite handy as I'm very busy and have a ton of 3/31's, sorry 31/3's.
And this Friday I complete on my loft which I am buying and I will move in at the end of March when my current rental agreement runs out. Home Depot for me over the next few weekends!
I couldn't believe the weather at home, it was colder than here before I left but looks like normality has returned to Chicago because it was -9c today.
I was back for Stuart Kilpatrick's wedding. I was his best man and clearly my speech was the highlight of the day! Truth be told I didn't eat a bloody thing and had two sips of wine before my turn came and I thought I was reasonably relaxed until it came to toasting the bride and groom and picked up my champers and my hand was shaking uncontrollably! It was a good day though and was good to see a few of the boys again.
It looks like next week will be my first full week in the office since the turn of the year which is quite handy as I'm very busy and have a ton of 3/31's, sorry 31/3's.
And this Friday I complete on my loft which I am buying and I will move in at the end of March when my current rental agreement runs out. Home Depot for me over the next few weekends!
I couldn't believe the weather at home, it was colder than here before I left but looks like normality has returned to Chicago because it was -9c today.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Breaking News - Ready back in Market
Well, the old photos that Ready had of certain people in the market have done the trick. Watch out underwriters because Ready is back in the London market as from next Monday (28th). He becomes Group Technical Broking Manager at Layton Blackham based in Holborn. The job is mainly working with mid-sized UK companies and will be half broking and half development of their network side.
This is truly great news and means he can carry on in the lifestyle he has become accustomed to, i.e. fags, beer, gambling and frequent trips back to Thailand.
Ready, congratulations mate. Am well chuffed for you.
I will post his contact details on here once known so he can start re-appearing on your expense reports!
This is truly great news and means he can carry on in the lifestyle he has become accustomed to, i.e. fags, beer, gambling and frequent trips back to Thailand.
Ready, congratulations mate. Am well chuffed for you.
I will post his contact details on here once known so he can start re-appearing on your expense reports!
The Magic Roundabout
Ok for our American friends, an advert for Britain's film of the year - you can stick Ray and Million Dollar Babe - The Magic Roundabout.
It has already hit the big screen at home and I am championing for it's release in the Windy City.
I quote from the website, "Pathe UK, the distribution company behind the monumental animation hit Chicken Run have resurrected the 1960’s cult TV show ‘The Magic Roundabout’ for the big screen. With an incredible all star British line up including Robbie Williams, Joanna Lumley, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy, Ian McKellen , Ray Winstone, Tom Baker and pop sensation Kylie Minogue, this all time children’s classic, is due for national release as a full length, CGI animated feature on February 11th 2005."
I didn't know Kylie was British but we will take her anyway.
This is how the cast lines up:
DOUGAL - ROBBIE WILLIAMS
FLORENCE - KYLIE MINOGUE
ERMINTRUDE - JOANNA LUMLEY
BRIAN - JIM BROADBENT
DYLAN - BILL NIGHY
ZEBEDEE - IAN McKELLAN
SOLDIER SAM - RAY WINSTONE
ZEEBAD - TOM BAKER
Clearly Brian Dougal, Suzie Syrett, Rob Beere, John McGowan, Giles Crowley, Tony Hepburn and James Bird were unavailable.
Has anyone seen it yet? Come on, don't be shy, next time I'm back me and my mates have it booked in.... sorry did I say my mates? I meant my son, obviously!
It has already hit the big screen at home and I am championing for it's release in the Windy City.
I quote from the website, "Pathe UK, the distribution company behind the monumental animation hit Chicken Run have resurrected the 1960’s cult TV show ‘The Magic Roundabout’ for the big screen. With an incredible all star British line up including Robbie Williams, Joanna Lumley, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy, Ian McKellen , Ray Winstone, Tom Baker and pop sensation Kylie Minogue, this all time children’s classic, is due for national release as a full length, CGI animated feature on February 11th 2005."
I didn't know Kylie was British but we will take her anyway.
This is how the cast lines up:
DOUGAL - ROBBIE WILLIAMS
FLORENCE - KYLIE MINOGUE
ERMINTRUDE - JOANNA LUMLEY
BRIAN - JIM BROADBENT
DYLAN - BILL NIGHY
ZEBEDEE - IAN McKELLAN
SOLDIER SAM - RAY WINSTONE
ZEEBAD - TOM BAKER
Clearly Brian Dougal, Suzie Syrett, Rob Beere, John McGowan, Giles Crowley, Tony Hepburn and James Bird were unavailable.
Has anyone seen it yet? Come on, don't be shy, next time I'm back me and my mates have it booked in.... sorry did I say my mates? I meant my son, obviously!
Monday, February 21, 2005
Road to Cardiff - QF draw
The Geordies were given another home tie today for the Quarter Finals. The Yids or Forest. Not bad.
Full sixth-round draw:
Newcastle v Tottenham or Nottingham Forest
Southampton or Brentford v Manchester United
Bolton v Arsenal or Sheffield United
Burnley or Blackburn v Leicester
Full sixth-round draw:
Newcastle v Tottenham or Nottingham Forest
Southampton or Brentford v Manchester United
Bolton v Arsenal or Sheffield United
Burnley or Blackburn v Leicester
The 'Real Thing'
N&R's regular look at the Coca-Cola leagues. Those are the 3 divisions below the Premiership for those of you that think English football ends after 4th in the Premiership! Palace fans may find this of interest....
Joe Royle's Ipswich are looking like they are heading back to the Premiership after an absence of 3 season's. Their home form is magnificent and they are the divisions top goalscorers with 61 goals. It is Wigan though who have the firepower. Nathan 'the Duke' Ellington has scored 19 goals and Jason Roberts has 16 as Paul Jewell looks to lead the small Cheshire side to automatic promotion. Small but considerably richer than most in the Championship with benefactor Dave Whelan splashing money around in order to achieve his dream of Premiership football in Wigan. Don't knock it!
Sunderland have been in 3rd for most of the season but it is the resurgence of Derby and the form of Preston that has been most noticable over the past few months. Reading haven't won in the league for 11 games and are going backwards whilst old play-off and Cup experts Sheffield United are still in the frame with games in hand. You have to give it to Neil Warnock who has done a wonderful job at Brammall Lane.
West Ham are so frustrating, they were awful against Sheff Utd and then turned it on against Plymouth on Saturday but I think only a play-off spot is achievable. Beyond them sides are much of a much-ness. Millwall, Burnley, Leeds, Stoke - all average. If I would put money on a team making a run for a play-off spot? Leicester City.
At the bottom, Ronnie Moore-less Rotherham are surely gone. Who is Alan Knill? A very unfortunate surname for a football manager!
The big question at the bottom is if Gary Megson can keep Forest in the division, a slip to Div 1 would be a killer blow and old Cloughie will be turning in his grave! Its about time the Gills and their twat of a chairman Paul Scally go back to where they belong and promoted Plymouth also look in danger despite a good start. My tip for the drop? Cardiff City.
Into League One, Luton and Hull have made it a two-horse race and look uncatchable. Mike Newell was chosen following a vote but he has proved an excellent choice with just 4 defeats in 33 games. Hull are the billy big bollocks in the division and in Peter Taylor they have an admittadly crap top flight manager but a clever and knowledgable lower league one.
The play-off battle could involve upwards of 10 teams with Tranmere, Sheff Wed and Hartlepool looking the most obvious. My tip for the 4th spot? Swindon or Mad Dog Martin Allen's Brentford.
Stockport County struggling in front of small crowds look likely relegation fodder under manager Chris Turner. I bet he wishes he never left Hartlepool for that wonder job at Sheff Wed! Barry Fry's Peterborough are in big trouble too but Wrexham who were deducted 10 points may still be too good to go down if they can rally under the experienced Dennis Smith.
New MK Dons manager Danny Wilson has started a mini revival at the Hockey Stadium - 3 games without a loss - but Franchise FC will get no support from me. The team going backwards in League One? Oldham Athletic. Brian Talbot has really struggled at Boundary Park, particularly since they beat Man City in the FA Cup 3rd round.
League Two or the old 4th Division as I know it. Yeovil are a very impressive outfit and look more than set for a higher level. And it's great to see Scunthorpe and Macclesfield do so well after avoiding relegation last season by the skin of their teeth.
Lincoln look strong play-off contenders and Northampton were everyone's pre-season favourites. Swansea have come back from the brink of bankruptcy and Southend (sorry, Sarfend) are having their best season for ever under Steve Tilson. Outside tip? On their day Darlington are a match for anyone, keep an eye on them.
At the scary foot of the table where relegation is considered to be doom - just ask York, Halifax, Exeter, Carlisle, Scarborough and Southport - Cambridge United and Kidderminster are currently in the two relegation spots. Cambridge are in a mess and ex Addick Steve Thompson has been brought into produce nothing less than a miracle.
Looking over their shoulders are Rushden & Diamonds. Brian Talbot left them in a right mess, Ernie Tippett took them down and now the unknown Barry Hunter is left picking up the pieces and to try and keep them up.
Chester under the great Ian Rush are 13 points clear of the bottom two.
A quick look into the Conference. Barnet are pissing it, they are 13 points clear but did surprisingly get stuffed by 2nd placed Accrington Stanley 4-1 on Saturday, the Bees 2nd defeat on the trot, so no fat ladies singing yet at Underhill (probably the worst ground I have ever been too, just pipping Selhurst!). Any one from 12 teams are in with a shout of the play-off's.
Spare a thought for Leigh RMI fans. One win all season and with only 8 points on the board for the Railwaymen from Cheshire.
Joe Royle's Ipswich are looking like they are heading back to the Premiership after an absence of 3 season's. Their home form is magnificent and they are the divisions top goalscorers with 61 goals. It is Wigan though who have the firepower. Nathan 'the Duke' Ellington has scored 19 goals and Jason Roberts has 16 as Paul Jewell looks to lead the small Cheshire side to automatic promotion. Small but considerably richer than most in the Championship with benefactor Dave Whelan splashing money around in order to achieve his dream of Premiership football in Wigan. Don't knock it!
Sunderland have been in 3rd for most of the season but it is the resurgence of Derby and the form of Preston that has been most noticable over the past few months. Reading haven't won in the league for 11 games and are going backwards whilst old play-off and Cup experts Sheffield United are still in the frame with games in hand. You have to give it to Neil Warnock who has done a wonderful job at Brammall Lane.
West Ham are so frustrating, they were awful against Sheff Utd and then turned it on against Plymouth on Saturday but I think only a play-off spot is achievable. Beyond them sides are much of a much-ness. Millwall, Burnley, Leeds, Stoke - all average. If I would put money on a team making a run for a play-off spot? Leicester City.
At the bottom, Ronnie Moore-less Rotherham are surely gone. Who is Alan Knill? A very unfortunate surname for a football manager!
The big question at the bottom is if Gary Megson can keep Forest in the division, a slip to Div 1 would be a killer blow and old Cloughie will be turning in his grave! Its about time the Gills and their twat of a chairman Paul Scally go back to where they belong and promoted Plymouth also look in danger despite a good start. My tip for the drop? Cardiff City.
Into League One, Luton and Hull have made it a two-horse race and look uncatchable. Mike Newell was chosen following a vote but he has proved an excellent choice with just 4 defeats in 33 games. Hull are the billy big bollocks in the division and in Peter Taylor they have an admittadly crap top flight manager but a clever and knowledgable lower league one.
The play-off battle could involve upwards of 10 teams with Tranmere, Sheff Wed and Hartlepool looking the most obvious. My tip for the 4th spot? Swindon or Mad Dog Martin Allen's Brentford.
Stockport County struggling in front of small crowds look likely relegation fodder under manager Chris Turner. I bet he wishes he never left Hartlepool for that wonder job at Sheff Wed! Barry Fry's Peterborough are in big trouble too but Wrexham who were deducted 10 points may still be too good to go down if they can rally under the experienced Dennis Smith.
New MK Dons manager Danny Wilson has started a mini revival at the Hockey Stadium - 3 games without a loss - but Franchise FC will get no support from me. The team going backwards in League One? Oldham Athletic. Brian Talbot has really struggled at Boundary Park, particularly since they beat Man City in the FA Cup 3rd round.
League Two or the old 4th Division as I know it. Yeovil are a very impressive outfit and look more than set for a higher level. And it's great to see Scunthorpe and Macclesfield do so well after avoiding relegation last season by the skin of their teeth.
Lincoln look strong play-off contenders and Northampton were everyone's pre-season favourites. Swansea have come back from the brink of bankruptcy and Southend (sorry, Sarfend) are having their best season for ever under Steve Tilson. Outside tip? On their day Darlington are a match for anyone, keep an eye on them.
At the scary foot of the table where relegation is considered to be doom - just ask York, Halifax, Exeter, Carlisle, Scarborough and Southport - Cambridge United and Kidderminster are currently in the two relegation spots. Cambridge are in a mess and ex Addick Steve Thompson has been brought into produce nothing less than a miracle.
Looking over their shoulders are Rushden & Diamonds. Brian Talbot left them in a right mess, Ernie Tippett took them down and now the unknown Barry Hunter is left picking up the pieces and to try and keep them up.
Chester under the great Ian Rush are 13 points clear of the bottom two.
A quick look into the Conference. Barnet are pissing it, they are 13 points clear but did surprisingly get stuffed by 2nd placed Accrington Stanley 4-1 on Saturday, the Bees 2nd defeat on the trot, so no fat ladies singing yet at Underhill (probably the worst ground I have ever been too, just pipping Selhurst!). Any one from 12 teams are in with a shout of the play-off's.
Spare a thought for Leigh RMI fans. One win all season and with only 8 points on the board for the Railwaymen from Cheshire.
Team Challenge - RSA after top two
It's pretty much as you are in the Team Challenge Trophy table. Holders Marsh are still ahead of 2nd placed XLRe but new RSA boys Harris and Day are up into 3rd with Aon Fac R/I and Aon Casualty slipping down the table.
Shamefully, thanks to the Yanks (there is no i in team here), Aon in Chicago are still rooted to the bottom but the current up-turn in form from Dougs and Tim means that we are a lot closer to rivals JLT.
The Team Challenge table will be sent out with week 27.
Shamefully, thanks to the Yanks (there is no i in team here), Aon in Chicago are still rooted to the bottom but the current up-turn in form from Dougs and Tim means that we are a lot closer to rivals JLT.
The Team Challenge table will be sent out with week 27.
The N&R Form Guide
Just who are the form teams in the league and who are in a rut? Here are the top 6 best and worst form teams going back over the last month:
Best
1. 2Infinity & beyond, Barry Plummer. 243 points
2. You got more toes, Lee Day, 231 points
3. Blessed are the cheesemakers, Ian Kennett, 230 points
4. West Ham 4 West Germany 2, Ben Graves, 225 points
5. Galacticos FC, Carl Dillaway, 224 points
6. Tatters top tips, Nigel Tatlock, 220 points
Worst
1. Woody's Warriors, Baxter / Barrett, 82 points
2=. The Elephant (man)ager, Giles Crowley, 107 points
2=. Happy Hammers, Alan Waters, 107 points
4. Super Eagles, John Tiernan, 116 points
5. Only one 'f' in Forest, James Bird, 122 points
6. Herecomethewildebeests, Tony Hepburn, 126 points
So, what amazing statistical information does this tell us? Well none of the top 4 managers appear in the best form list and two are outside of the top 10.
The worst form is from the worst team, but then the next 3 teams in the table are all improving and three teams currently outside of the re-election scrap are heading their fast!
Best
1. 2Infinity & beyond, Barry Plummer. 243 points
2. You got more toes, Lee Day, 231 points
3. Blessed are the cheesemakers, Ian Kennett, 230 points
4. West Ham 4 West Germany 2, Ben Graves, 225 points
5. Galacticos FC, Carl Dillaway, 224 points
6. Tatters top tips, Nigel Tatlock, 220 points
Worst
1. Woody's Warriors, Baxter / Barrett, 82 points
2=. The Elephant (man)ager, Giles Crowley, 107 points
2=. Happy Hammers, Alan Waters, 107 points
4. Super Eagles, John Tiernan, 116 points
5. Only one 'f' in Forest, James Bird, 122 points
6. Herecomethewildebeests, Tony Hepburn, 126 points
So, what amazing statistical information does this tell us? Well none of the top 4 managers appear in the best form list and two are outside of the top 10.
The worst form is from the worst team, but then the next 3 teams in the table are all improving and three teams currently outside of the re-election scrap are heading their fast!
Nice Plumms
Breaking News 8888 Week 27 scores 8888 Breaking News
Barry Plummer is the man on form in the N&R FL. 60 points in week 27 won the MoW fiver and he keeps up his challenge of the top four. 2Infinity & Beyond are now 16 points behind Back home, who in turn are 17 points behind Wenners Wannabe's.
There is then a gap of 24 between Mark and Doyley's Ginger (not so) Athletic with leaders West Ham 4 West Germany 2 23 points out in front.
The top 7 remain unaltered after week 27 - which brings me up to date with the scores. Expect a lower scoring week next time due to the FA Cup.
Tatters top tips are back in the top 10 after scoring 47 last week, whilst Lamb to the slaughter (52), Galacticos FC (51) and Blessed are the cheeemakers (52) all pushed on just outside of the pink zone.
Robbos on top had an excellent week 27 hitting 57 points. They climb to 19th. Sweaty shagged a shemale scored the weeks 3rd best of 55, a point more than Better than 2nd, You got more toes and West Ham 4 West Germany 2.
Barry Plummer is the man on form in the N&R FL. 60 points in week 27 won the MoW fiver and he keeps up his challenge of the top four. 2Infinity & Beyond are now 16 points behind Back home, who in turn are 17 points behind Wenners Wannabe's.
There is then a gap of 24 between Mark and Doyley's Ginger (not so) Athletic with leaders West Ham 4 West Germany 2 23 points out in front.
The top 7 remain unaltered after week 27 - which brings me up to date with the scores. Expect a lower scoring week next time due to the FA Cup.
Tatters top tips are back in the top 10 after scoring 47 last week, whilst Lamb to the slaughter (52), Galacticos FC (51) and Blessed are the cheeemakers (52) all pushed on just outside of the pink zone.
Robbos on top had an excellent week 27 hitting 57 points. They climb to 19th. Sweaty shagged a shemale scored the weeks 3rd best of 55, a point more than Better than 2nd, You got more toes and West Ham 4 West Germany 2.
Whose the Idiot now, huh?
Breaking News 8888 Week 27 scores 8888 Breaking News
Fuck mine, following hard on the heels of Tim Feldbruegge, fellow cheese-head Brian Dougal leapt off the bottom of the N&R FL after 24 weeks stuck to it by hammering 36 points in week 27.
Brian - who courtesy of me now has a fluffy Dougal toy on his desk, you know you love it Dougs? - has Tim in his sights after he slipped back to 45th after a 26-point week. Idiots guide are 41 points short of Cheeky American's.
Now if I can find one, I will be buying Alex Baxter and Dom Barrett a fluffy doughnut (sorry donut) because Woody's Warriors now prop up the league table after hitting rock bottom in week 27. The deadly duo scored 19 last week, still 2 more than Only one 'f' in Forest whose leader James Bird was last seen giving Alex Boswell lessons in the art of fantasy football management! Err, hello.
Goonersmoan's weekly score of 48 might have put a smile on the face of Brian Rutter - well maybe not, but he climbed a place as did Super Eagles after squeezing in 32 points. Herecomethewildebeestes drop to 41st.
Fuck mine, following hard on the heels of Tim Feldbruegge, fellow cheese-head Brian Dougal leapt off the bottom of the N&R FL after 24 weeks stuck to it by hammering 36 points in week 27.
Brian - who courtesy of me now has a fluffy Dougal toy on his desk, you know you love it Dougs? - has Tim in his sights after he slipped back to 45th after a 26-point week. Idiots guide are 41 points short of Cheeky American's.
Now if I can find one, I will be buying Alex Baxter and Dom Barrett a fluffy doughnut (sorry donut) because Woody's Warriors now prop up the league table after hitting rock bottom in week 27. The deadly duo scored 19 last week, still 2 more than Only one 'f' in Forest whose leader James Bird was last seen giving Alex Boswell lessons in the art of fantasy football management! Err, hello.
Goonersmoan's weekly score of 48 might have put a smile on the face of Brian Rutter - well maybe not, but he climbed a place as did Super Eagles after squeezing in 32 points. Herecomethewildebeestes drop to 41st.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Just a thought....
I doesn't make it any easier for me knowing that the Addicks weren't the only Prem side to suffer a shock over the weekend, although at least Arsenal, Spurs, Blackburn and Southampton get to have another go. I think next season Charlton should refuse to enter the Cups just like Man U did the other year because we are truly rubbish in them.
Sitting here this afternoon catching up on the news and sport back at home a few footie related items caught my eye....
Firstly ex Spuds manager Jacques Santini has finally let it out of the bag why he left White Hart Lane. "They promised me a big apartment on the beach and I found myself 200m from the sea with a view of my neighbours," (more). Clearly he had never been to Tottenham before.
Those nice people on the board at Newcastle are doing their best for public relations again. Despite Sir Bobby Robson now happily ensconced at home with his pipe and slippers, deputy chairman Douglas Hall still feels the need to have a go. "We had to get rid of him, he would have got us relegated, there's nothing more certain, we were going down," (more). I bow to Mr Hall's superior knowledge of football that relegation is a certainty after 4 games.
Football trouble reared it's ugly this weekend with 33 arrests after the Everton v Man U game yesterday. The BBC are getting blamed because they insisted that the game kick off at 5.30pm whilst there were different excuses at the Old Firm derby today. The game kicked off before the pubs opened but it still led to 30 arrests, 12 for "religious prejudice," (more). Maybe a couple of pints may have helped cool that situation?
And finally the Beckham's are nearer to their own little 5-a-side team, which clearly won't be sponsored by Mensa or Durex. Baby Cruz was born in Madrid today weighing in at 7lb. It was a nice touch by Vics & Becks to call their 3rd son something Spanish but maybe one of his teammates should have told them that it is a girls name!
Sitting here this afternoon catching up on the news and sport back at home a few footie related items caught my eye....
Firstly ex Spuds manager Jacques Santini has finally let it out of the bag why he left White Hart Lane. "They promised me a big apartment on the beach and I found myself 200m from the sea with a view of my neighbours," (more). Clearly he had never been to Tottenham before.
Those nice people on the board at Newcastle are doing their best for public relations again. Despite Sir Bobby Robson now happily ensconced at home with his pipe and slippers, deputy chairman Douglas Hall still feels the need to have a go. "We had to get rid of him, he would have got us relegated, there's nothing more certain, we were going down," (more). I bow to Mr Hall's superior knowledge of football that relegation is a certainty after 4 games.
Football trouble reared it's ugly this weekend with 33 arrests after the Everton v Man U game yesterday. The BBC are getting blamed because they insisted that the game kick off at 5.30pm whilst there were different excuses at the Old Firm derby today. The game kicked off before the pubs opened but it still led to 30 arrests, 12 for "religious prejudice," (more). Maybe a couple of pints may have helped cool that situation?
And finally the Beckham's are nearer to their own little 5-a-side team, which clearly won't be sponsored by Mensa or Durex. Baby Cruz was born in Madrid today weighing in at 7lb. It was a nice touch by Vics & Becks to call their 3rd son something Spanish but maybe one of his teammates should have told them that it is a girls name!
Road to Cardiff - 9 man Chelsea seen off
Wonderful result for the Geordies today - lets get the apologies out of the way to our Blues fans first, right that's done with but as I said before and was saying last night to two mates in town for a couple of days, if anyone can halt the Mourinho machine then it is Newcastle playing on their own patch.
It was enigma PATRICK KLUIVERT who ended Chelsea's dream of an unprecedented quadruple as his header after 4 minutes was enough to propel his team into the Quarter-Finals of the FA Cup. It was only the second goal Chelsea had conceded in 12 games, a fact not lost on the delirious home fans.
Never scared to make a substitution, Mourinho made three half-time changes but the move backfired as Wayne Bridge was stretchered off and Damien Duff was forced to play through injury. Then late on Carlo Cudicini was sent off in a crazy finish as Chelsea's dream crumbled.
Despite this Chelsea went all out for an equaliser in the 2nd half but Newcastle expolited to gaps on the pitch and Carr nearly got a second.
In a pulsating climax, Glen Johnson almost put the ball into his own net. Still the drama was not over as Cudicini was red-carded for fouling Kluivert as Newcastle pressed - yet stand-in stopper Johnson produced a superb save from Robert's free-kick.
Up the Blaydon Races.
Newcastle: Given, Carr, Boumsong, Bramble, Babayaro, Dyer (Milner 68), Jenas, Butt, Robert, Shearer (Ameobi 64), Kluivert.
Subs Not Used: Caig, N'Zogbia, Hughes.
Attendence: 45,740
MoM: Stephen Carr
It was enigma PATRICK KLUIVERT who ended Chelsea's dream of an unprecedented quadruple as his header after 4 minutes was enough to propel his team into the Quarter-Finals of the FA Cup. It was only the second goal Chelsea had conceded in 12 games, a fact not lost on the delirious home fans.
Never scared to make a substitution, Mourinho made three half-time changes but the move backfired as Wayne Bridge was stretchered off and Damien Duff was forced to play through injury. Then late on Carlo Cudicini was sent off in a crazy finish as Chelsea's dream crumbled.
Despite this Chelsea went all out for an equaliser in the 2nd half but Newcastle expolited to gaps on the pitch and Carr nearly got a second.
In a pulsating climax, Glen Johnson almost put the ball into his own net. Still the drama was not over as Cudicini was red-carded for fouling Kluivert as Newcastle pressed - yet stand-in stopper Johnson produced a superb save from Robert's free-kick.
Up the Blaydon Races.
Newcastle: Given, Carr, Boumsong, Bramble, Babayaro, Dyer (Milner 68), Jenas, Butt, Robert, Shearer (Ameobi 64), Kluivert.
Subs Not Used: Caig, N'Zogbia, Hughes.
Attendence: 45,740
MoM: Stephen Carr
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Road to Cardiff - Can the Geordies stop Chelsea?
Well Rodney Marsh may be gonzo but the Toon are still in the FA Cup and this weekend play the all conquering Chelsea in the 5th Round. So far this season Chelsea have put 6 goals past Newcastle in 2 games without reply but this is the Cup and at 3/1 to win the Geordies have got to be worth a flutter, especially after a fine win tonight in the UEFA Cup.
Newcastle have appeared in the FA Cup Final 13 times, only Man U and Arsenal have been to the final more times. The game is live on Sky at 4pm Sunday so slap the missus, get a nice warm can of Newcastle Brown Ale and a bag of chips and sit down and cheer them on.
Howay the lads.
My kinda town
Why is it that car dealers in the US insist on doing their own television commercials? Why would some dodgy looking bloke sweating like a rapist telling me that his Dodge Vipers are so great that I must own one make me go and buy a Dodge Viper?
At home, if I remember rightly the car commercials are some of the most original and snazzy we have. Maybe they want you to look them in the eye, know who you're dealing with? Bollocks to that I'd rather look at some bird draped over a mini metro anyday.
Television adverts beyond the mega companies like Pepsi and Anheuser Busch are so bad in this country. Rudi's Pizza's - the best in the world, Randy's auto's - the fastest in the world, Cialis - 36 hours of continual erection - the hardest in the world. Fuck that, what I'm supposed to do for the remaining 35 hours and 50 minutes, eh?
At home, if I remember rightly the car commercials are some of the most original and snazzy we have. Maybe they want you to look them in the eye, know who you're dealing with? Bollocks to that I'd rather look at some bird draped over a mini metro anyday.
Television adverts beyond the mega companies like Pepsi and Anheuser Busch are so bad in this country. Rudi's Pizza's - the best in the world, Randy's auto's - the fastest in the world, Cialis - 36 hours of continual erection - the hardest in the world. Fuck that, what I'm supposed to do for the remaining 35 hours and 50 minutes, eh?
Champion in the making?
Breaking News 8888 Week 26 scores 8888 Breaking News
Ben Graves showed true champion form in week 26 following last weeks rise to the summit. West Ham 4 West Germany 2 whalloped a fantastic 94 points - the joint 3rd best score of the season - to move 17 points clear at the top of the table.
Week 26 consisted of a league programme and some Cup replays for which fantasy points count and therefore we had a very high scoring week with 11 teams scoring more than 80 points. Doyley was one of them, Ginger (not so) Athletic scoring 84 but he needs to re-group as the N&R FL has a new fantasy darling.
Another manager with high hopes for the last 15 weeks of the season is Ian Kennett. Blessed are the cheesemakers scorched 93 points and jumped into 15th place, 57 points shy of 7th. And Ian's mirror image, just 20 years younger Lee Day is also right back in the mix. You got more toes who dominated in the early months of the season whacked 91 points to climb into 6th, Lee's highest place since November.
Next up are two other title contenders. 2Infinity & beyond collected their 145th point in a month to move closer to Back home in 4th, although Bazza didn't do too scabby himself scoring 84. Lets all beat the Gooners hit a season best of 89 to stay 7th, whilst Wenners Wannabe's stay 3rd after knocking in 78.
Other teams who perked up in week 26 were Galacticos FC who move to 13th after scoring 84 and Keep the faith who nicked 82.
Big ups also to Better than 2nd who hit 88, Moulster's molesters (79), Jonny on my shoulder (77), Glasgow kiss (77), Roffey Rejects (74), Someone other than Arse or Man U (71), Californication (68) and Hannah & Megs Bears (67) who all achieved season best scores.
Ben Graves showed true champion form in week 26 following last weeks rise to the summit. West Ham 4 West Germany 2 whalloped a fantastic 94 points - the joint 3rd best score of the season - to move 17 points clear at the top of the table.
Week 26 consisted of a league programme and some Cup replays for which fantasy points count and therefore we had a very high scoring week with 11 teams scoring more than 80 points. Doyley was one of them, Ginger (not so) Athletic scoring 84 but he needs to re-group as the N&R FL has a new fantasy darling.
Another manager with high hopes for the last 15 weeks of the season is Ian Kennett. Blessed are the cheesemakers scorched 93 points and jumped into 15th place, 57 points shy of 7th. And Ian's mirror image, just 20 years younger Lee Day is also right back in the mix. You got more toes who dominated in the early months of the season whacked 91 points to climb into 6th, Lee's highest place since November.
Next up are two other title contenders. 2Infinity & beyond collected their 145th point in a month to move closer to Back home in 4th, although Bazza didn't do too scabby himself scoring 84. Lets all beat the Gooners hit a season best of 89 to stay 7th, whilst Wenners Wannabe's stay 3rd after knocking in 78.
Other teams who perked up in week 26 were Galacticos FC who move to 13th after scoring 84 and Keep the faith who nicked 82.
Big ups also to Better than 2nd who hit 88, Moulster's molesters (79), Jonny on my shoulder (77), Glasgow kiss (77), Roffey Rejects (74), Someone other than Arse or Man U (71), Californication (68) and Hannah & Megs Bears (67) who all achieved season best scores.
The latest season's best weekly scores
Despite the excellent scores in week 26, Rob Beere still leads the way in the best weekly score prize. He scored 99 in week 3. Here is the revised list of the best weekly scores:
1. Rob Beere, week 3, 99 points
2. Barry Paull, week 21, 95 points
3. Peter Doyle, week 3, 94 points
3. Ben Graves, week 26, 94 points
5. Ian Kennett, week 26, 93 points
6. Lee Day, week 26, 91 points
7. Brian Rutter, week 3, 89 points
7. Barry Plummer, week 26, 89 points
7. Mark Simmons, week 26, 89 points
10. Alan Oakley, week 26, 88 points
11. Glenn Francis, week 3, 86 points
11. Nigel Tatlock, week 3, 86 points
13. Barry Paull, week 26, 84 points
14. Carl Dillaway, week 26, 83 points
14. Carl Dillaway, week 3, 83 points
14. Mark Dewberry, week 26, 83 points
17. Liz Keiller, week 3, 82 points
17. Ian Kennett, week 3, 82 points
17. Danny Rose, week 3, 82 points
17. Rob Munden, week 21, 82 points
17. Neil Cryer, week 21, 82 points
17. Ian France, week 26, 82 points
1. Rob Beere, week 3, 99 points
2. Barry Paull, week 21, 95 points
3. Peter Doyle, week 3, 94 points
3. Ben Graves, week 26, 94 points
5. Ian Kennett, week 26, 93 points
6. Lee Day, week 26, 91 points
7. Brian Rutter, week 3, 89 points
7. Barry Plummer, week 26, 89 points
7. Mark Simmons, week 26, 89 points
10. Alan Oakley, week 26, 88 points
11. Glenn Francis, week 3, 86 points
11. Nigel Tatlock, week 3, 86 points
13. Barry Paull, week 26, 84 points
14. Carl Dillaway, week 26, 83 points
14. Carl Dillaway, week 3, 83 points
14. Mark Dewberry, week 26, 83 points
17. Liz Keiller, week 3, 82 points
17. Ian Kennett, week 3, 82 points
17. Danny Rose, week 3, 82 points
17. Rob Munden, week 21, 82 points
17. Neil Cryer, week 21, 82 points
17. Ian France, week 26, 82 points
Feldbruegge making a run for the title?
Breaking News 8888 Week 26 scores 8888 Breaking News
Another British scalp has been claimed by Tim Feldbruegge as he hopped over the hardly breathing Goonersmoan in week 26. Cheeky Americans hit a half century and are now chasing down Only one 'f' in Forest who are the place above 14 points ahead. If Tim avoids re-election it will be a wonderful achievement.
His countryman's form has given Brian Dougal a little lift as Idiots guide to soccer claimed their biggest week of the season, also 50 points. Brian has closed the gap on Woody's Warriors to 12 who for the 2nd consecutive week came last in the scoring stakes.
Manager's in danger of falling into the re-election zone as others find form are John Tiernan, Tony Murray and Chris Waterman. Chris' Californication and Tony's Hammers like coke actually scored okay in week 26 hitting 68 and 67 respectively but the fact is others around them are performing better.
Tiernan mind you has the look of Crystal Palace about him. The Super Eagles (sic) are trying their best but they are starting to get found out and maybe mixing it with the big boys is starting to take its toll? John still has a little breathing space between him and the bottom 6 though.
Mark Dewberry deserves a mention. Defoes's golden XI struggled early on in their first N&R FL season but a magnificient 83 points in week 26 has propelled them up to 39th place and created a gap between them and Herecomethewildebeestes.
Another British scalp has been claimed by Tim Feldbruegge as he hopped over the hardly breathing Goonersmoan in week 26. Cheeky Americans hit a half century and are now chasing down Only one 'f' in Forest who are the place above 14 points ahead. If Tim avoids re-election it will be a wonderful achievement.
His countryman's form has given Brian Dougal a little lift as Idiots guide to soccer claimed their biggest week of the season, also 50 points. Brian has closed the gap on Woody's Warriors to 12 who for the 2nd consecutive week came last in the scoring stakes.
Manager's in danger of falling into the re-election zone as others find form are John Tiernan, Tony Murray and Chris Waterman. Chris' Californication and Tony's Hammers like coke actually scored okay in week 26 hitting 68 and 67 respectively but the fact is others around them are performing better.
Tiernan mind you has the look of Crystal Palace about him. The Super Eagles (sic) are trying their best but they are starting to get found out and maybe mixing it with the big boys is starting to take its toll? John still has a little breathing space between him and the bottom 6 though.
Mark Dewberry deserves a mention. Defoes's golden XI struggled early on in their first N&R FL season but a magnificient 83 points in week 26 has propelled them up to 39th place and created a gap between them and Herecomethewildebeestes.
My kinda town
A few weeks ago I started playing 5-a-side. A mate of mine entered a team into an indoor league and we play every Sunday morning.
It's fun and gets my heart racing. I've never been one for the gym, although I've tried but I get so much more out of running around a pitch playing a team sport.
I used to play every Monday at home and up until the other week I had not played since October 2003 so I was a bit rusty but I've still got it, if you know what I mean!
But, in American 5-a-side (at least the one we play anyway) there are differences. Firstly the league is co-ed, i.e. mixed. I found that a bit weird at first until some fucking bird took me out late in the 2nd week and bloody damaged my elbow. She was a sort though so I was probably looking for a bit of bodily contact!
Then the goalkeepers can't handle the ball, which after playing and watching for 30-odd years is kind of hard. It's a natural reaction to put your hands up when you are in between the sticks. In my first spell in goal I gave away two penalties - I did save both though!
Then the goals are hockey goals and are tiny and lastly we play 3 halfs, or thirds I suppose you call it, of 15 minutes each.
Our team is called the Chicago Caretakers (don't ask me why, cos I don't know) and we have played 5 games and won 3 and lost 2 (one of which I missed). We are currently 4th in the table out of 8 and play the league leaders on Sunday. The season ends in good American style with 2 weeks of play-offs.
We have a proper ref and in fact there is a website with written reports of each game. Now this is the funny bit. This was last week's write up. If you watch Soccer AM, then you will realise that the 'Pilgrims' features are cringingly accurate.
"Hello Sports Monsters, It is time for the weekly review. The Sunday morning started of with Degenerates taking over Team Thor by 7-1. The Degenerates never left a doubt about their victory and remain on the third seat.
When everybody thought the game will end in a tied Red Devils scored the winning goal in the match against McKinsey and got the three points to their account. The Chicagoland Caretakers scored seven times and Atzteca just three in the third match this day. With the third lose in the third game Atzteca stays at the end of the standings.
With a three games winning streak and 40 scored goals team ZS-FC remain on the peak position. The Caregivers never really had a chance in this game."
I will keep you updated of our progress.
It's fun and gets my heart racing. I've never been one for the gym, although I've tried but I get so much more out of running around a pitch playing a team sport.
I used to play every Monday at home and up until the other week I had not played since October 2003 so I was a bit rusty but I've still got it, if you know what I mean!
But, in American 5-a-side (at least the one we play anyway) there are differences. Firstly the league is co-ed, i.e. mixed. I found that a bit weird at first until some fucking bird took me out late in the 2nd week and bloody damaged my elbow. She was a sort though so I was probably looking for a bit of bodily contact!
Then the goalkeepers can't handle the ball, which after playing and watching for 30-odd years is kind of hard. It's a natural reaction to put your hands up when you are in between the sticks. In my first spell in goal I gave away two penalties - I did save both though!
Then the goals are hockey goals and are tiny and lastly we play 3 halfs, or thirds I suppose you call it, of 15 minutes each.
Our team is called the Chicago Caretakers (don't ask me why, cos I don't know) and we have played 5 games and won 3 and lost 2 (one of which I missed). We are currently 4th in the table out of 8 and play the league leaders on Sunday. The season ends in good American style with 2 weeks of play-offs.
We have a proper ref and in fact there is a website with written reports of each game. Now this is the funny bit. This was last week's write up. If you watch Soccer AM, then you will realise that the 'Pilgrims' features are cringingly accurate.
"Hello Sports Monsters, It is time for the weekly review. The Sunday morning started of with Degenerates taking over Team Thor by 7-1. The Degenerates never left a doubt about their victory and remain on the third seat.
When everybody thought the game will end in a tied Red Devils scored the winning goal in the match against McKinsey and got the three points to their account. The Chicagoland Caretakers scored seven times and Atzteca just three in the third match this day. With the third lose in the third game Atzteca stays at the end of the standings.
With a three games winning streak and 40 scored goals team ZS-FC remain on the peak position. The Caregivers never really had a chance in this game."
I will keep you updated of our progress.
Ready's Benfleet Bet - Late Results
You may remember that way back me & Ready asked you to scribble your 3rd Round FA Cup predictions on an email and send them to us. Well 29 of you did and many apologies for the delay in giving you the results. I really don't know how you have been sleeping at nights?
So here we go, here are the final placings with points scored (with additional comments from Ready)
1. Soozie 40
2. Barry Paull 35
3. Nigel Tatlock 34
4. Lee Day (Shrek) 33
5. Doyley 31
5. John McGowan 31
7. Carl Dillaway 30
7. Bondy 30
7. Rob Munden 30
10. Oakers 28
10. Nobster 28
12. Lupo 27
13. Dan Matthews 26
13. Ged (guest) 26
15. Chris Waterman 25
15. Rob Beere 25
15. Giles Crowley 25
18. Mark Dewberry 23
19. Dan Rose 22
19. Dom Barrett 22
21. Godders 21
21. Kennett (Shrek's little brother) 21
23. Singleton 19
23. Rutter 19
23. Robbo 19
26. Plummer 18
27. Francey 17
28. Ready 15
28. Ben Graves 15
So Sooz takes the title and 25 quid is hers. Congratulations young lady.
I know it was a long time ago so here were the 3rd Round scores.
Ready's comments: Can you believe Soozie won it? After all these years of trying? And just to prove I don't cheat I came equal last with Ben!
Martin Singleton had some very strange scores - Leicester to beat Blackpool 10-0 (Preston not caring much for Blackpool may have had something to do with his judgement) but he also had Tottenham and Chelsea to win 6-0 and 8-0, Liverpool to win 8-0 (close but no cigar) and Luton and Brentford to draw 9-9 (what the fcuk was that all about?). He still managed to beat me by 4 points though! I spent literally hours studying the form coz I had nothing better to do and came stone last. Better stick with the gee-gee's.
There doesn't appear to have been any breaches in rules either which is unusual bearing in mind the intelligence of the lot that entered. I didn't check that closely though, only the ones in with a shout of winning.
As a special bonus prize to Sooz I'm prepared to lick a lite carton of Haagen Daz Raspberry Ripple ice cream of her raspberry rips!! She knows my number!
So here we go, here are the final placings with points scored (with additional comments from Ready)
1. Soozie 40
2. Barry Paull 35
3. Nigel Tatlock 34
4. Lee Day (Shrek) 33
5. Doyley 31
5. John McGowan 31
7. Carl Dillaway 30
7. Bondy 30
7. Rob Munden 30
10. Oakers 28
10. Nobster 28
12. Lupo 27
13. Dan Matthews 26
13. Ged (guest) 26
15. Chris Waterman 25
15. Rob Beere 25
15. Giles Crowley 25
18. Mark Dewberry 23
19. Dan Rose 22
19. Dom Barrett 22
21. Godders 21
21. Kennett (Shrek's little brother) 21
23. Singleton 19
23. Rutter 19
23. Robbo 19
26. Plummer 18
27. Francey 17
28. Ready 15
28. Ben Graves 15
So Sooz takes the title and 25 quid is hers. Congratulations young lady.
I know it was a long time ago so here were the 3rd Round scores.
Ready's comments: Can you believe Soozie won it? After all these years of trying? And just to prove I don't cheat I came equal last with Ben!
Martin Singleton had some very strange scores - Leicester to beat Blackpool 10-0 (Preston not caring much for Blackpool may have had something to do with his judgement) but he also had Tottenham and Chelsea to win 6-0 and 8-0, Liverpool to win 8-0 (close but no cigar) and Luton and Brentford to draw 9-9 (what the fcuk was that all about?). He still managed to beat me by 4 points though! I spent literally hours studying the form coz I had nothing better to do and came stone last. Better stick with the gee-gee's.
There doesn't appear to have been any breaches in rules either which is unusual bearing in mind the intelligence of the lot that entered. I didn't check that closely though, only the ones in with a shout of winning.
As a special bonus prize to Sooz I'm prepared to lick a lite carton of Haagen Daz Raspberry Ripple ice cream of her raspberry rips!! She knows my number!
My kinda town
I spend a lot of time at airports. Not because I have become a plane spotter you understand just because I get a lot of planes. In fact I have just come back from O'Hare airport today because I have been in St Louis and I felt compelled to ask this question: "Why do people dress for plane journeys like they surely would never dress anywhere else?"
Men, women, kids, they all dress terribly. Shorts, cut-downs, flip-flops, big stupid hats, t-shirts with far-flung holiday destinations on them (normally Hawaii), tracksuits, oversized basketball tops, flowery shirts, big fuck off trainers, ridiculous sunglasses.... I saw them all today and the weather in Chicago is -2F.
People used to dress up for airplane journeys didn't they? Now they look like they are taking the rubbish down to the tip or they preparing for Halloween or something.
And this is not just an American thing, oh no. At Heathrow the other week I'd never seen so many fat arses tucked into tracksuit bottoms (not since I was being shown Gumbsy's holiday snaps anyway).
What are these people thinking when they open their wardrobes in the morning? "Right, I have a flight to catch, so let me wear this old faded Hard Rock, Jamaica t-shirt I bought in 1982! That will look the part."
No more, I am going to recommend that the immigration authorities make a new rule. In the future anyone dressing up like Timmy Mallet will not be allowed on an airplane.
Men, women, kids, they all dress terribly. Shorts, cut-downs, flip-flops, big stupid hats, t-shirts with far-flung holiday destinations on them (normally Hawaii), tracksuits, oversized basketball tops, flowery shirts, big fuck off trainers, ridiculous sunglasses.... I saw them all today and the weather in Chicago is -2F.
People used to dress up for airplane journeys didn't they? Now they look like they are taking the rubbish down to the tip or they preparing for Halloween or something.
And this is not just an American thing, oh no. At Heathrow the other week I'd never seen so many fat arses tucked into tracksuit bottoms (not since I was being shown Gumbsy's holiday snaps anyway).
What are these people thinking when they open their wardrobes in the morning? "Right, I have a flight to catch, so let me wear this old faded Hard Rock, Jamaica t-shirt I bought in 1982! That will look the part."
No more, I am going to recommend that the immigration authorities make a new rule. In the future anyone dressing up like Timmy Mallet will not be allowed on an airplane.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Graves is digging it
Breaking News 8888 Week 25 scores 8888 Breaking News
For only the 3rd time in 14 weeks the lead of the 2004 /05 title race changed hands. After 2 weeks with West Ham 4 West Germany 2 being just a point behind Ginger (not so) Athletic FC, Ben Graves' team finally leapfrogged Doyley in week 25.
Ben scored 32 points, 7 more than Pete and becomes only the 6th league leader of the season (others are Wenners, Ready, John McGowan and Lee Day). This ends a terrific run by Ben who will be hoping to emulate Barry Plummer by winning the title in his first N&R season.
Wenners Wannabe's and Back home stay 3rd and 4th but the new threat is coming from 2Infinity & beyond. Barry Plummer, the champion in 2003 smacked 38 points in week 25 and rose 2 places. Barry is still 39 points behind namesake Paull in 4th though but has his mate in his sights.
Lets all beat the Gooners are upto 7th after also scoring 38 points. Both Jonny on my shoulder and Keep the faith lost ground.
For only the 3rd time in 14 weeks the lead of the 2004 /05 title race changed hands. After 2 weeks with West Ham 4 West Germany 2 being just a point behind Ginger (not so) Athletic FC, Ben Graves' team finally leapfrogged Doyley in week 25.
Ben scored 32 points, 7 more than Pete and becomes only the 6th league leader of the season (others are Wenners, Ready, John McGowan and Lee Day). This ends a terrific run by Ben who will be hoping to emulate Barry Plummer by winning the title in his first N&R season.
Wenners Wannabe's and Back home stay 3rd and 4th but the new threat is coming from 2Infinity & beyond. Barry Plummer, the champion in 2003 smacked 38 points in week 25 and rose 2 places. Barry is still 39 points behind namesake Paull in 4th though but has his mate in his sights.
Lets all beat the Gooners are upto 7th after also scoring 38 points. Both Jonny on my shoulder and Keep the faith lost ground.
Tip top
Breaking News 8888 Week 25 scores 8888 Breaking News
Nigel Tatlock wins his first ever N&R prize money after walking off with Week 25's MoW award. Tatters top tips scored 45 points and move back into the pink top 10 zone. 42 points was the total achieved by Blessed are the cheesemakers. Kennett, who has being doing a bit of team surgery as he plans an assault on the prize money, was the weeks biggest climber moving up 5 places in the table.
Tom Finney's splash proved again what a different side they are compared to earlier in the season. Martin hit 39 points and the weeks 3rd best score to jump into the top half of the table.
The week's worse score was by Woody's Warriors. The Barrett / Baxter combo managed a feeble 11 points to keep them in the penultimate place.
In fact in a very low scoring week only 2 sides changed places in the whole of the lower 17 positions. They were Can I get a waistcoat and Roffey Rejects who swapped places.
Nigel Tatlock wins his first ever N&R prize money after walking off with Week 25's MoW award. Tatters top tips scored 45 points and move back into the pink top 10 zone. 42 points was the total achieved by Blessed are the cheesemakers. Kennett, who has being doing a bit of team surgery as he plans an assault on the prize money, was the weeks biggest climber moving up 5 places in the table.
Tom Finney's splash proved again what a different side they are compared to earlier in the season. Martin hit 39 points and the weeks 3rd best score to jump into the top half of the table.
The week's worse score was by Woody's Warriors. The Barrett / Baxter combo managed a feeble 11 points to keep them in the penultimate place.
In fact in a very low scoring week only 2 sides changed places in the whole of the lower 17 positions. They were Can I get a waistcoat and Roffey Rejects who swapped places.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
My Kinda town
The Americans love pretzels. They are everywhere and before I arrived I was a bit partial myself but only as part of a calorie controlled diet that also included pork scratchings, Walkers crisps, KP roasted peanuts, chipsticks and Bombay mix.
But here you will not find Walkers or KP roasted peanuts or pork scratchings and as for bombay mix.... pah, no fcuking chance. It's just pretzels or pecans and normally smothered in chocolate or deep fried and as big as the Isle of Man!
All you get on a plane are pretzels, all sandwich shops sell alongside sandwiches are pretzels, oh and poxy doritos - cheese, oh and cheesier flavour. Cinema's sell pretzels, sports stadiums sell pretzels. No salt & vinegar, cheese & onion, smokey bacon, roast chicken, nothing. Pretzels or Doritos. You would have thought that in the land of opportunity there would be untold choice in the snack stakes wouldn't you? But no, pretzels it is, boring pretzels.
And I see from the Walkers website that there are now Greek kebab flavour. Heaven in a bag. There is now obviously no need to ever leave the pub.
Get Gary Lineker and his big ears over here now because there is a gap in the market. The Yanks would love Walkers. Huge flaming steak with fries flavour. Just the job.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
The Road to Cardiff - Shearer starts victory cruise
Newcastle United eased through to the 5th Round of the FA Cup after beating Coventry 3-1 at St James' Park. They then pulled the short straw out of the hat and drew champions elect Chelsea. But they are at home and it is the Cup, so you never know....
Back to the Cov match, it was Geordie legend ALAN SHEARER opened the scoring in the 37th minute with a low shot. SHOLA AMEOBI doubled the lead with a superb run and shot that beat keeper Luke Steele at his near post.
A DELE ADEBOLA header made it 2-1 on the stroke of half-time but ex Chelsea left-back CELESTINE BABAYARO made sure of the win with a fierce strike straight after the break to kill of any hopes of a shock.
Newcastle manager Graeme Souness, who the day before sent Craig Bellamy off packing to Glasgow said after the game, "We controlled it from start to finish. We had a sloppy five minutes before half-time, but we looked tight, compact and we knew what we were doing."
Team: Harper, Carr, Bramble, Andrew O'Brien, Babayaro, Dyer, Faye (Hughes 81), Jenas, Kluivert, Shearer, Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Given, Milner, Taylor, Robert.
Attendance: 44,044
MoM: Shola Ameobi
Back to the Cov match, it was Geordie legend ALAN SHEARER opened the scoring in the 37th minute with a low shot. SHOLA AMEOBI doubled the lead with a superb run and shot that beat keeper Luke Steele at his near post.
A DELE ADEBOLA header made it 2-1 on the stroke of half-time but ex Chelsea left-back CELESTINE BABAYARO made sure of the win with a fierce strike straight after the break to kill of any hopes of a shock.
Newcastle manager Graeme Souness, who the day before sent Craig Bellamy off packing to Glasgow said after the game, "We controlled it from start to finish. We had a sloppy five minutes before half-time, but we looked tight, compact and we knew what we were doing."
Team: Harper, Carr, Bramble, Andrew O'Brien, Babayaro, Dyer, Faye (Hughes 81), Jenas, Kluivert, Shearer, Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Given, Milner, Taylor, Robert.
Attendance: 44,044
MoM: Shola Ameobi
Monday, February 07, 2005
The cheek of it! Tim moves above Dom & Alex
Breaking News 8888 Week 24 scores 8888 Breaking News
Well it was only a matter of time wasn't it? There will be a lot of egg on faces around the Woody's Warriors camp after Tim Feldbruegge's Cheeky Americans climbed above them and into 45th place after week 24's scores.
Remember the bottom two places have been occupied by the Americans (and they have done a darn sight better job of it than they have in Iraq, let me tell you!) since the beginning of the season but Dominic & Alex have breached their defences and slump to 46th place 62 places above the stranded Idiots guide to soccer.
Congratulations to Tim on a fine score in week 23 of 53 points - a season high and the start of good things to come as he now looks up at the downward spiralling Goonersmoan who are only 10 points ahead in 44th.
Elsewhere in the bottom 6, Happy Hammers (29) rejoined the re-election party as Defoes Golden XI (48) move out of the mire.
And above them it looks dodgy for Hammers like coke (30), Super Eagles (34) and Herecomethewildebeests (42) who all drop nearer to the re-election battle zone.
Well it was only a matter of time wasn't it? There will be a lot of egg on faces around the Woody's Warriors camp after Tim Feldbruegge's Cheeky Americans climbed above them and into 45th place after week 24's scores.
Remember the bottom two places have been occupied by the Americans (and they have done a darn sight better job of it than they have in Iraq, let me tell you!) since the beginning of the season but Dominic & Alex have breached their defences and slump to 46th place 62 places above the stranded Idiots guide to soccer.
Congratulations to Tim on a fine score in week 23 of 53 points - a season high and the start of good things to come as he now looks up at the downward spiralling Goonersmoan who are only 10 points ahead in 44th.
Elsewhere in the bottom 6, Happy Hammers (29) rejoined the re-election party as Defoes Golden XI (48) move out of the mire.
And above them it looks dodgy for Hammers like coke (30), Super Eagles (34) and Herecomethewildebeests (42) who all drop nearer to the re-election battle zone.
Toe's jammin'
Breaking News 8888 Week 24 scores 8888 Breaking News
You got more toes sailed to Week 24's best score of 67 - it was also Lee Day's best since August. This excellent effort meant that one time leader Lee soared back into the top 10 after an absence of 8 weeks.
Galacticos FC also hit their best score since August, whacking in 65 points to move upto 15th. Jonny on my shoulder kept up the pressure on the top 4 with a 62 point gain, which meant they pulled Keep the faith back into 5th.
The Oakers had a good one too with Al's Better than 2nd easing their re-election worries by scoring 61 as did Californication who climbed a place after notching 61.
2Infinity & beyond moved a place nearer the top after hitting 56 points but the top 4 remain in this order Ginger (not so) Athletic 938 pts, West Ham 4 West Germany 2 937 points, Wenners Wannabe's 923 pts and Back home 902 pts.
You got more toes sailed to Week 24's best score of 67 - it was also Lee Day's best since August. This excellent effort meant that one time leader Lee soared back into the top 10 after an absence of 8 weeks.
Galacticos FC also hit their best score since August, whacking in 65 points to move upto 15th. Jonny on my shoulder kept up the pressure on the top 4 with a 62 point gain, which meant they pulled Keep the faith back into 5th.
The Oakers had a good one too with Al's Better than 2nd easing their re-election worries by scoring 61 as did Californication who climbed a place after notching 61.
2Infinity & beyond moved a place nearer the top after hitting 56 points but the top 4 remain in this order Ginger (not so) Athletic 938 pts, West Ham 4 West Germany 2 937 points, Wenners Wannabe's 923 pts and Back home 902 pts.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
An AIG sandwich
Breaking News 8888 Week 23 scores 8888 Breaking News
The thought of Barry Paull being sandwiched in between Catherine Barwick and Karen du Toit doesn't do an awful lot for me and I bet it does even less for the girls but the three AIG folks shared week 23's Manager of the Week award after both sides hit 49 points.
It was Back Home's 3rd win and Flighty Feet's 2nd, which they also had to share and as there is two of them managing the team these fivers are not exactly going to change their lifestyles! Congratulations anyway.
West Ham 4 West Germany 2 continued their chase for glory be hitting 48 points and Ben is now only a point behind leaders Ginger (not so) Athletic.
Two sides looking for a bit of bounce-back-ability are Hannoi Utd and Meg & Hannah's Bears. Well both did well in week 23 with Alex stroking in 47 points and Ready slipping in 46.
The weeks lowest score was 19, scored by Goonersmoan.
The thought of Barry Paull being sandwiched in between Catherine Barwick and Karen du Toit doesn't do an awful lot for me and I bet it does even less for the girls but the three AIG folks shared week 23's Manager of the Week award after both sides hit 49 points.
It was Back Home's 3rd win and Flighty Feet's 2nd, which they also had to share and as there is two of them managing the team these fivers are not exactly going to change their lifestyles! Congratulations anyway.
West Ham 4 West Germany 2 continued their chase for glory be hitting 48 points and Ben is now only a point behind leaders Ginger (not so) Athletic.
Two sides looking for a bit of bounce-back-ability are Hannoi Utd and Meg & Hannah's Bears. Well both did well in week 23 with Alex stroking in 47 points and Ready slipping in 46.
The weeks lowest score was 19, scored by Goonersmoan.
Francey être dans une forme éclatante
Breaking News 8888 Week 23 scores 8888 Breaking News
Keep the faith moved into 5th place after week 23. Francey's 43 points means he leads the chasing pack of the top 4, whose positions remain unchanged.
Both Jonny on my shoulder and Let's all beat the Gooners slip a place as does Lamb to the slaughter further down the top 10.
The weeks biggest climber was Pete Godfrey who woke from his slumber to score 40 points, which saw Pull your finger out Molly to 17th.
Down at the bottom Goonersmoan continued their awful spell as they fell to 44th, a drop of 3 places. Only one 'f' in Forest climb above Rutts and Happy Hammers escape the drop zone for only the 2nd week since November.
Keep the faith moved into 5th place after week 23. Francey's 43 points means he leads the chasing pack of the top 4, whose positions remain unchanged.
Both Jonny on my shoulder and Let's all beat the Gooners slip a place as does Lamb to the slaughter further down the top 10.
The weeks biggest climber was Pete Godfrey who woke from his slumber to score 40 points, which saw Pull your finger out Molly to 17th.
Down at the bottom Goonersmoan continued their awful spell as they fell to 44th, a drop of 3 places. Only one 'f' in Forest climb above Rutts and Happy Hammers escape the drop zone for only the 2nd week since November.
Just a thought....
I'm back! I don't know where I've been or what I've been doing recently but I am a bit behind with the ol' N&R FL so it is catch up time.
Weeks 23, 24 and the current week 25 will be posted and emailed out soon. I will also announce the winner of Ready's Benfleet Bet and talk about Newcastle's Cup progress.
There will also be a plethora of My Kinda Town's as I have got a lot building up inside me so watch out!
Weeks 23, 24 and the current week 25 will be posted and emailed out soon. I will also announce the winner of Ready's Benfleet Bet and talk about Newcastle's Cup progress.
There will also be a plethora of My Kinda Town's as I have got a lot building up inside me so watch out!
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