Tuesday, January 31, 2006

My kinda town

Wandering around the residential streets of Chicago makes me realise that Americans obviously have no concept of the 12 days of Christmas.

Just to remind you, the 12 days of Christmas is from Christmas Day to the eve of Epiphany, which is on January 6th (everyone knows that!). So according to my (George Bushisms) calendar, 12 days ends on January 5th.

Of course what also must happen by the end of the 12 days is that you take your bloody Christmas decorations and tree down. Otherwise as we all know something nasty will happen.

Oh no, not in America. The lazy bastards keep the dec's up. Lights are wrapped around trees, reef's hang on front doors, snowflake lights twinkle in windows and stockings hang on bed posts!

Oi, Christmas has finished? Get over it. Move on, take the fucking tinsel down and put it back in the loft like normal people!

Here are photographs I took of two houses side by side in Lincoln Park, Chicago on Sunday:
I nearly knocked at the door and sung them a carol.

No transfer deadline in N&R FL

Tonight seems an apt time to remind you of the fantasy transfer deadline. It is every Tuesday at 5pm, so you have missed this week.

It was a busy day in the transfer market, so maybe it is time to reconsider your line up's, choose from any one of these except for that two-faced cnut Danny Murphy!

Waterman goes top as Godders slips up

Breaking news 8888 Week 22 scores
After 20 weeks of sitting pretty on top of the one and only N&R FL Godder's I *ucking hate Chelsea lost their top billing and are replaced by Chris Waterman's Californication. Chris holds a two-point lead after Pete suffered his worst weekly score (11 points) of the season.

Sodding window cleaners remain in 3rd, 31 points behind Godders but it is behind Mark that the challengers line up to make their individual moves.

Chris took his opportunity after Pete's bad week but it is in the pack behind that lies the real threat. Sodding window cleaners are on 833 points, Ken Bates beard is on 832, Rushden & Doggers are on 831 and Ping Pong Yo-Yo are on 830. Sorry, am I the only person here getting excited?

Further down the table, Lamb to the slaughter and Football Academy both jump up 3 places and further down Ben Graves' Christian Daily Football Genius look threatening in 14th.

Going backwards are Wenners Utd, 2Infinity & beyond, Flighty Feet and poor old So he got shot up the harse! Tony now down in 16th.

At the bottom of the universe is still Rogering Daisy Wright, 59 points behind Goonersmoan, who at this early stage are looking good for the penultimate prize as they are in turn 43 points behind Tatters top tips.

RIP Viera (oh, how Arsene misses that boy) drop 2 places to 42nd but last weeks doughnuts Rapid Ginger rise 2 places after scoring 35 points.

Nothing smelly about XI Feet

Breaking news 8888 Week 22 scores
Barwick & Higgs collected their 3rd MoW award of the season as Flighty Feet close in on the top 10 after a 58 point week. Lamb to the slaughter continued their excellent recent form by adding 56 points to their total. Glenn has moved from 8th in 3 weeks.

Another form manager is Ben Graves. Christian Dailly Football Genius (sic) smashed 54. Tony Murray, like Ben has also been enjoying good fortune (cocktails on you in Boca Raton Muzza?) and his Football Academy did so again in week 22 scoring 46.

Now, blow me down with a tickly feather but Tim Feldbruegge managed to get the 4th best weekly score in week 22!! Rogering Daisy Wright, the little minx, scored 46.

London Irish are also having a craic, with Hilary slipping down another 45 points. I've not mentioned Keep the faith for a good few weeks, probably because they are pony, but Francey did alright in week 22, scoring 44. Nobby's Chicago Addick was next up with 42 and Ken Bates' beard, Roffey Rejects and Rushden & Doggers all got 41.

The worst score of the week was Steve Lee, probably deserved as he is a Chelsea fan. I hate Gerrard scored 8.

Monday, January 30, 2006

No fewer than 15 teams smash 100 points

Breaking news 8888 Week 21 scores
Records tumbled like Liz Keiller after a few wines in week 21. This was a triple scoring week with some Premiership teams playing 3 games during this 7-day period.

Just to refresh your memory as I play catch up, some of the headlines in week 21 were:

- Liverpool beat Everton in Merseyside derby as Everton finish with 9 men
- The Addicks thrash West Ham 2-0 on New Years Eve
- Mido scores again as Spurs add to Graeme Souness' misery on NYE
- Lampard scores for Chelsea at Upton Park on Bank Holiday Monday

Right, remember that or were you addled with the spirit of the season?

Ready scored a record weekly score two seasons ago of 100 points. In 10 years of N&R FL, that is the only time one of our managers has hit 3 figures in a 7-day scoring period. In fact it takes on average Tim Feldbruegge 2 months to score 100 points!

In week 21 no more than 15 managers scored 100 points!! The weekly winning scoring 126! Who was that winner? Godders? No. Suzie? No. Ready again? Nope. Nobby? Don't be ridiculous.

The manager who knocked the record for 6 and scored a massive 126 points was Mark Dewberry. Well done to Davids v Goliath. Two teams scored 6 points less - Ping Pong Yo-Yo and Rushden & Doggers.

Fuck me even Sweaty got in on the act, with PK's Blue lagooners getting 117, the same as Hilary's London Irish.

Challenging for his first ever title is Chris Waterman, so he will be chuffed to have seen Californication scoring 116.

Last season Ben Graves gave an excellent performance, this season it has not been as good, but in week 21 Ben's Christian Daily Football Genius scored a back to his best 114.

Two of the top 10 sides Ken Bates' beard and Lamb to the slaughter both smashed 110 points. Table topper I *ucking hate Chelsea were next up scoring 109, 2 more points than previous record holder Ready and Hannoi Utd, who had to satisfy himself (that's what happens when your girlfriend is thousands of miles away) with beating his record score by 7 points.

Sodding window cleaners got in on the act scoring 105 and previous champion 2Infinity & beyond scored 103. Title challenger Wenners Utd scored 102 and that lovable Chicken eater fellow managed a nice round 100.

In other weeks score's by Chicago Addick (99), US Eagles (97) and Loveday Luvvies (96) would have been phenomenal, but they had to settle for scores half way down the list.

Rapid Ginger got the 'worse' weekly score of 45 points - amazingly current Champion Pete Doyle's best score of the season!!

What a week, what scoring. Congratulations to all concerned.

Dewberry on the rise, Heppers on the slide

Breaking news 8888 Week 21 scores
So where did all this high scoring leave the top of the table? Well the top 4 remained the same but now only 56 points separate those top 4.

Ken Bates beard are into 5th and big winner Davids v Goliath leap into 7th. Lamb to the slaughter slip into 10th spot. More noticable are the teams missing from the top 10. Football Academy drop to 11th whilst long term challenger Tony Hepburn collapse to 13th place. For 9 weeks Heppers' spent it in the top 4, but then last week he slipped to 6th and despite scoring 68 points So he got shot up the harse fall all the way down to 13th, his lowest spot since week 3. Sort it out Heps!

At the bottom the last 4 also remain unaltered. But Doyley's dreadful week saw Rapid Ginger slide 3 places to 42nd. Magic Roundabout, despite all my tuition and mentoring continue their freefall to join fellow American's Rogering Daisy Wright at the bottom of the table. Dougs is now 38th.

FA Cup draw but Wembley not ready?

The 5th Round FA Cup draw threw up some great all Premiership ties but also gave Preston & Crystal Palarse a great opportunity to reach the Quarter Finals of the world's most prestigious competition.

This is the full draw with our Road to Wembley boys first out of the hat:

Preston/Crystal Palace v Coventry/Middlesbrough
Newcastle v Southampton
Aston Villa v Manchester City
Everton/Chelsea v Colchester
Charlton v Brentford
Liverpool v Manchester United
Bolton v West Ham
Stoke v Reading/Birmingham

Meanwhile despite the huge amounts of money it costs me to brand this whole charade 'The Road to Wembley,' the Australian company responsible for the rebuilding of Wembley has warned that the famous stadium might not be rebuilt in time! (more)

They reckon it has only a 70% chance of being ready, which will be okay if Palarse get there because they will only fill 70% of their allocation!

E mail of the week

The Road to Wembley feature has obviously caused some consternation in both Gay Brighton and Gay Manhattan. These emails were in my inbox this morning amongst the spam:

Dear Nobs

I logged onto the website this morning for the latest update and was deeply disturbed to see the Scum included in the Road to Wembley feature. This feature was a good idea in principle but should have been dropped as soon as the horrific reality of having to follow Palarse became clear!

Still, at least it reminded me of their glorious 9-0 thrashing at Liverpool - a game I still have on video. No doubt, Barry would like a copy to remind him of their Premier League days which are unlikely to return when they sell that ugly diving t*sser Johnson!

Cheers,
Ian France


Dear Nobs & Francey

Was that the same season that we beat them 4-3 in the FA Cup semi-final? I was at both games. Jealousy will get you nowhere - you will soon be able to play your local derby against Crawley.

Love
Barry Paull

My Life & Times - The 2006 Q&A

Yesterday I sent out this season's N&R questionnaire, My Life & Times, which I would like you all to complete. No pressure but obviously they need to be funny, ha-ha preferably but I can understand looking at the list of managers, that some may be just funny weird!

I will publish each reply. I have already received one, thanks Martin, so take 10 minutes and write the first thing that comes into your head - just like you do when you are talking to your boss at appraisal time.

If you need another copy, just let me know.

Cheers
Nobby & Ready

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Road to Wembley - Palarse & Preston to do it again

Crystal Palarse and Preston will fight out a replay next week after drawing 1-1 on Saturday.

ANDY JOHNSON stayed on his feet to Palarse ahead on eight minutes. Johnson capitalised on a mistake by Youl Mawene and smashed the ball past ex Eagle Carlo Nash from 12 yards.

Eagles keeper Gabor Kiraly had earlier saved from Lewis Neal but could do nothing to stop BRIAN O'NEIL'S 27th minute header from a cross by Graham Alexander. Preston striker David Hibbert headed wide from three yards late on. It was a glorious chance to win the tie - and the third that had come the striker's way after the break.

Preston had gone into the match without David Nugent (reportedly set to sign for Everton before Tuesday), Paul McKenna (because he was to busy hyponotising), Matt Hill, Simon Whaley and new signings Brian Stock and Brett Ormerod.

Mikele Leigertwood almost scored for Palarse in the first half but his weak header was easily claimed by Nash. Johnson had the ball in the back of the net for Palarse for a second time after the break, but the effort was ruled out for offside, while Clinton Morrison fired over the crossbar.

Iain Dowie said after: "The last thing we need right now is a replay. We wanted it done and dusted in 90 minutes. We now have a ridiculous number of games in a short space of time, but we've got to get on with it."

Crystal Palace: Kiraly, Fitz Hall, Boyce, Hudson, Popovic, Andrews (Riihilahti 59), Soares, Leigertwood, Freedman (Reich 82), Johnson, Morrison (Macken 81).
Subs Not Used: Borrowdale, Speroni.
Att: 9,489
MoW: Andy Johnson

Odds for Sven's successor's

Provided by Ladbrokes:

Sam Allardyce 5/2
Alan Curbishley 3/1
Steve McClaren 7/2
Ottmar Hitzfeld 8/1
Martin O'Neill 10/1
Steve Bruce, Luiz Felipe Scolari, Guus Hiddink, Stuart Pearce 12/1
Sir Bobby Robson 16/1
Sir Trevor Brooking, Bryan Robson, Paul Jewell 20/1
Fabio Capello, Jose Mourinho 25/1
Arsene Wenger, Gerard Houllier 33/1
Peter Taylor 40/1
Harry Redknapp, Sir Alex Ferguson, Alan Shearer, Sammy Lee 66/1
Kevin Keegan 100/1
Ready / Nobby combo 150/1

Back home to see the Addicks hold the Blueski's

Last week I took a flying visit back home to catch up with family and stuff - I didn't come into the city, so don't worry you didn't miss out on buying me a drink!

I did venture as far as the Fulham Broadway though as Ready kindly invited me, courtesy of his Plastic Chelsea boss, to the Chelsea v Charlton game. Dom Barrett and Kilpo joined us for the 1.30pm Sunday kick off. Of course it was a great result for the Addicks, and thoroughly deserved too.

We sat amongst Chelsea fans, and although Ready kept a close reign on me, my actions and voice would have gotten me killed in the 80's at the 'old Bridge.'

Quite rightly the day was preceeded and suceeded by plentiful amount of beers and I would like to thank Ready very much for the scarce opportunity to see my beloved Addicks. It was a great day and good to see Kilpo and Dom on good form too.

That reminds me to wish both Dom and Barry Plummer all the very best in their new jobs at Aspen Re.

Nobby

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Road to Wembley - Welcome to Crystal Palarse

Crystal Palarse become our team (cough, spit) on the N&R Road to Wembley.

Tomorrow they take on Martin Singleton's Preston North End at Deepdale. For those of you that don't know anything about our beloved Croydoners. Here you go:

-Famous Palarse lovers include Kid Jenson, Jo Brand and Captain Sensible.

-Record Transfer Fee Paid was £2,750,000 to Strasbourg for Valerien Ismael (who?)

-Palarce have 14 managerial appointments in the last 10 years. This includes Steve Coppell 3 times and both Alan Smith & Steve Kember twice.

-Famous past players include Mark Bright and Hermann Hreidarsson, who both improved their careers at Charlton.

-Due to a production error at Diadora's factory in Romania, Crystal Palace's Replica Kit for 2004 was misprinted with "Chrystal Palace" on the Quality Control label. It of course should have read Crystal Palarse.

-They were the team of 80's, not proven by record defeats at the end of the 80's in the league away at Liverpool losing 9-0 and in the League Cup losing to Southend (yes, Southend) 8-0.

-Crystal Palarse now hold the distinction of being the only team to have been relegated from the Premiership four times. The last time, in case you didn't know was when Charlton relegated them last season.

In the headlines - Sven's offski - so whose next?

So the Svenster is finally going to leave us after the World Cup. What a farce eh? The highest paid football manager in the world, with about an inch and a half of common sense. But who are the idiots in all of this? Sven? The News of the World? The FA? I personally think that the FA, light years behind The Premiership and the PFA in its thinking, have a lot to answer for. Blimey, old Terry Venables could have opened up a second hand car dealership in Soho Square selling all sorts of dodgy deals and would never have been sacked under this administration.

So rather worryingly it is down to Brian Barwick and the other suits to choose the next England manager. On paper, purely judged on ability (*cough* when has that been a criteria?), the best men for the job in no particular order are probably Jose Mourinho, Arsene Wegner and Guus Hiddink. Arsene has always made it clear he doesn't want it, Guus does want it and Jose's ego would probably fancy it too, although he seems rather too smitten with his own country. How dare he?

However I believe that the FA will bow to public pressure and choose an Englishman. Who will that be? Well, let me tell you:

Sam Allardyce
A bubbly and likeable personality who has been arguably the most successful English manager in recent seasons. Proven ability to deal with big named stars (JJ Okocha, Ivan Campo) as well as managing to get the best out of players of limited ability (Anthony Barness, Kevin Davies). And despite his attitude being considered that of an up and at 'em age, his training methods are very 21st century. However he can be prickly with the media and Bolton's style of play has drawn much criticism. I also think that the Newcastle job will come calling first and he is sensible enough to see that as a stepping stone to bigger things.

Steve McClaren
The most overated manager since David Brent. Fergie's ex-oppo and now Sven's, lest us not forget. In fact he is an English Sven, Faria Alam dalliances aside perhaps? Dour with a personality of a small insect, even the Boro' fans find him passionless. If we are looking for inspiration, then we would have chosen the wrong man. After the recent 7-0 defeat to Arsenal: "I've told the kids they're going to be good players in the future." Bit late by then Steve. Over £50m spent in the transfer market and with only one top half Premiership finish.

Stuart Pearce
He epitomises everything that is good about being a passionate Englishman. Psycho would be a popular choice but not yet. He has only been in charge of 30-odd games and although it hasn't stopped Jurgen Klinsmann or Marco Van Basten, Pearce himself has come out and said the thought of him being the next England manager is "ludicrous." I think I speak for many when I say though that at 42, his time will come.


Paul Jewell
His stock is rising quickly and deservedly so following Wigan's rise and fantastic first Premiership season, but Jewell also suffers from a lack of experience at the top level. His pedigree is not great and nor is his exposure to big-name players but the media have taken to him and we mustn't forget what he did at Bradford too. Like Pearce, another one for the future.


Terry Butcher
A bit of an outside bet. Another player who literally bled for his country - remember the famous headband? Failed miserably in England managing Coventry and Sunderland but like other English managers has had to build a less attractive club up from nothing. In this case Motherwell in the SPL. Butch played under some of the great coaches and is bright and thoughtful. His lack of success in England will go against him though.

Martin O'Neill
Mine and other people's favourite. He has done the small club made good thing (Leicester) and has also taken a huge club (Celtic) with all the pressures that go with that and made that a raging success too. O'Neill has tasted European success and was a hell of a player. Ok, he's not English but he is the best man for the job. Intelligent, thoughtful, funny and liked by the media. Downside? He doesn't need this job now. He has made it perfectly clear that he won't entertain any offer until he nurses his wife back to good health. Even then, I think he is the kind of coach who needs the daily fix of club management.

Alan Curbishley
Not the best candidate, not the best coach but I really do think he will get the job. The bookies and the media are starting to think that way too, and a change in Charlton's fortunes will, I believe, increase the clamour for him to get the biggest job in football. Curbs' has faults, we know that, but others think his shit don't smell. I worry about his tactical acumen, others think he is a genius.

The obvious downsides are no fault of his own. No previous exposure to superstar players (Barnes, DiCanio aside), and because all the top jobs go to foreigners, he has always had to settle for the relative success that he has had at The Valley as opposed to foray's into the Champions League.

Well respected by many of the Premiership's top managers and now with the support of the equally well respected Richard Murray he will have a number of fans in high places when it comes to the vote, particularly if that vote does not include Hiddink, Scolari and O'Neill.

Candid, if not hilarious in front of the camera, his integrity and popularity is just what the FA will be seeking after the Sven era. As a player, as a manager, he has played the game the right way. And with a retentive brain for players and other teams style of play I think he could manage without the day to day grind as long as he was studying games and planning campaigns. Expect Steve Bruce to be named as his part-time number two.

Curbishley for England? I really think it's going to happen.

Lamb and Bears share spoils

Breaking news 8888 Week 20 scores
joint winners in week 20 (upto Boxing day games) in Alex Boswell and Glenn Francis. Both managers got a leg up the table following their 61 points haul. Boswell's Meg & Hannah's bears climbed 5 places to 29th and Francis' Lamb to the slaughter moced 4 places to 13th but still 17 points outside the top 10.

Kinga's bottlers continue to repeat Preston's run into the play-off's with another good week's score of 53. Martin is now in 18th.

Still no stopping Suzie's Ping Pong Yo-Yo march to the top of the table. Now in 4th, but still 67 points behind I *ucking hate Chelsea, she whipped in another 50+ week over Christmas. Fellow birds (the short skirt kind and not turkeys) Flighty Feet also did well with an half century the same score as "I'm a lady" Paul Kelleher's Rushden & Doggers. PK who has not been out of the top 10 all season (Godders is the only manager who has done this) jumped into 5th place.

Other notable week 20 scores were achieved by Californication (49), Danny's Geeza's (48), Christian Daily Football Genius (48), Roffey Rejects (48) and Football Academy (47).

The weeks worst score was by Danny Rose, who rather surprisingly is struggling down the arse end of the table. 11 for Sweaty plays the banjo.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My kinda town

On my return to the office after one of my exotic trips (Kansas City I think?), I found a box and a note on my desk. It was a Blackberry box and a note from my boss saying: "I think you need one of these so I know where the hell you are." Nice.

Initially I kept it in the box for a few days, more out of spite than want but eventually I turned it on and had a little play. Now, those that know me well enough know that I'm quite fond of little gadgets, Ged in my old team for example, was a very useful executive stress toy. However, I refused to get myself wrapped up in this 'Crackberry' thing. Fuck I thought, leave work at the office.

Then, one day as Brian Dougal was talking to me in the office, I noticed that I was thumbing through my new found toy at his desk. After he stopped talking I looked up and he said: "I used to get 20% concentration out of you, and now with that thing it's going to be more like 5%."

Of course it doesn't help that Brian hasn't got big tits, this of course would grab my attention. But, his theory is becoming reality. I found out that this little Blackberry is a bit of a treasure, it gives me access to the worldwide web all day long, blogger, emails from mates, oh and work stuff too. I even have developed a blister on my right thumb where I have been a bit over anxious with the tracking wheel!

I think I'm becoming addicted man. What with my brian being frazzled by mobile phone over-use, I'm now going to get repetitive strain injury to my thumb. Then let's not even start on my insurance liver and beer gut!

So, I'm thinking that if only someone clever can magic up a mobile casting couch and that fit blonde that sits up the corridor from me, then I would never ever have to go in the office again. Thanks boss.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Maybe he is the Messiah?

Breaking news 8888 Week 19 scores
Well blow me down with a feather duster, Ian Kennett who has been as quiet as a door mouse during the first half of the season has suddenly woken up.

74 points in week 17, followed by 44 last week and now the league's season best score of 95 in week 19. Kennett pipped Godders' week 3 score by a point and it puts him in pole position to pick up the 'end of season best score prize'.

The season's best weekly scores:
1. Ian Kennett, 95 points, week 19
2. Peter Godfrey, 94 points, week 3
3. Brian Dougal, 82 points, week 3
4. Steve Lee, 81 points, week 3
5. Suzie Syrett, 78 points, week 17
6. Kirsty Baillie, 77 points, week 3
7. Paul Kelleher, 76 points, week 1
8=. Mark Simmons, 75 points, week 3
8=. Peter Godfrey, 75 points, week 1
8=. Simon Newport, 75 points, week 3
8=. Lee Baughan, 75 points, week 3

He's not the Messiah (oh yes he is.... Panto season see?) made a crucial 4 changes to their team in mid-December and it has paid huge dividends as they've moved 24 places up the table from 36th to 12th, just 16 points from 7th place. There's also a 5 quid MoW award for Ian too.

The 2nd best week 19 score was a massive 25 points less than Ian's score, Mark Simmons with 70. Sodding window cleaners climbing to their highest placing of the season, 3rd.

Cailfornication continue their great run with another 68 points added to their total. Chris moves into (i think) his highest ever placing, 2nd. I'm having a nose bleed just thinking about it. Fuck the curries mate, your mob should be buying you poo come May!

Liz Keiller, who is at home relaxing at present, continued her bouncebackability with a handy 56, enabling White wine & water to move up 5 places to 23rd. Kingas bottlers jump 6 places after scoring a season best 55, US Eagles score 53 and stay in the hunt, whilst So he got shot up the harse stop their mini slide and move back into 4th.

Another surprise to me was not that Ian France scored 53 points but that I'm told he bought a round of drinks last week! Keep the faith are doing the opposite of Brighton these days and are moving up the table.

Whilst this all goes on below them, I *ucking hate Chelsea keep ticking away out in front. Another 52 points for Pete to keep the gap between themselves and Californication to 51.

Other mentions should go out to Galacticos (52), 2Infinity & beyond (47), Nzobiapongolledezee Utd (46) and Chicken eaters (45).

In a week when some teams played 2 matches, hence the high scoring, we still had some numpty's who failed miserably. Welcome onto stage Danny Matthews, whose Geeza's scored just 7 and Mr Greg Farquor Harris III, whose Rejects got 8. Goonersmoan and Magic Roundabout didn't fair much better, each scoring 9 points. Shite lads, sorry.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Soozie.... oh fuck it, I'm running out of headlines!

Breaking news 8888 Week 18 scores
Week 18 - I'll give you a clue.... McFadden scores great equaliser against Man U, Chelsea win again (ok, that was a non-clue), Andy Cole sent off at West Brom, Palace and Millwall draw 1-1. With me? Right here we go....

What an earth are they putting in Suzie's tea? 61 more points in week 18 - that is 342 in 6 weeks, more than the bottom two sides in the table have gathered in 3 times as many weeks!

So week 18 and another MoW for Ping Pong Yo-Yo, but this time shared with Paul Kelleher. Pk also hit 61 big ones and that propelled Rushden & Doggers back into 4th place, whereas Suzie climbs rather elegantly into 2nd, displacing Californication, who themselves still had an excellent week scoring 53.

Davids & Goliath, the season's surprise bet, knocked in their best score since week 3 to keep them well in the chase. 59 points for Dewbs and a huge jump of 5 places into 6th - just 2 weeks since I wrote them off. What the fook do I know?

But as predicted by me, London Irish keep coming. Hilary's 52 points means she closes the gap on the top 10. Still bouncing around the top 10 is Sodding window cleaners, who scored 48 and move up 2 places into 7th. Glasgow kiss jump a spot after a good week scoring 48 (happy hogmanay my little haggis pie x).

There was a lot of movement in the top 10 as every single team changed spots in week 18. It wasn't all good news though as So he got shot up the harse (30), Wenners Utd (36), Football Academy (36) and despite both getting good scores of 44 points each, 2Infinity & beyond and Ken Bates' beard all lost ground.

The only team not to change their position was top cheeses I *ucking hate Chelsea, who with their 47 points kept a nice little gap between themselves and the chasing rabble.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Dougal and Crowley dropping like stones

Breaking news 8888 Week 18 scores
A couple of teams who are in the midst of a really bad run as they head towards the re-election zone at lightning pace after week 18. My brother in arms Brian Dougal was a runaway success in the first quarter of the season as Magic Roundabout reached the top 10 twice, but since around November they have been in freefall. Another drop of 3 places to 32nd in week 18 after 30 points. And We Stand United slip 6 places to 36th after an 18-point week, Giles' looked like he would be looking up not down a few weeks back.

This is the only piece of good news for the bottom 7 or 8 sides who all look like they do not have a road map out of trouble.

Goonersmoan remain in the penultimate place after a week 18 worst score of 6 points - Rutts lowest score of the season. Rogering Daisy senseless may as well turn the lights off and say night-nights after another dismal week. 14 points for Tim.

Tatters top tips had the 3rd worst weekly score of 17. They remain 32 points adrift of Woodys Warriors in 43rd, who only scored 19 themselves. Rochdaletastic drop down two places after a similiar crappy 19 points, but at least they, RIP Viera and Sweaty plays the banjo have enough points to be able to at least catch the stragglers above them.

Road to Wembley - Oh Cobblers!

Northampton Town lasted just a round as our team to follow in this year's FA Cup and now, wait for it.... we have bloody Palace!

Northampton included ex-Addick and recently named League Player of the Month Scott McLeish, ex Arsenal 'keeper Lee Harper and Scottish International Eion Jess in their line up at Selhurst Park, but it wasn't enough as the Croydon boys beat the Cobblers 4-1 on Saturday.

In a weekend of Cip shocks, Palace laboured to victory with Andrew Johnson starring the day after seeing a bid from his ex employers Birmingham City turned down.

MICHAEL HUGHES' free-kick put the home side ahead before JOSH LOW levelled for the visitors in the first half.

JOBI McANUFF restored the lead before half-time but the Cobblers responded well after the break, with Andy Kirk going close to an equaliser.

But penalties by JOHNSON, following one of his typical 'dives in the box' and DOUGIE FREEDMAN put the Eagles in round four.

Cobblers: Harper, Doig, Chambers, Bojic (Brett Johnson 79), Crowe, Low, Taylor, Jess (Mendes 73), Hunt, Kirk, McGleish.
Subs Not Used: Bunn, Cross, Bonner.
MoM: Andy Kirk
Attendence: 10,391

The draw will take place Monday as *cough* Crystal Palarse become our Road to Wembley side.