Comeback Pete

Breaking News 88888 Week 13 scores
Well blow me down with a big feathery feather. MoW in week 13 was Peter Godfrey. Now, those old enough will remember that Pete used to be half decent at fantasy football, this before he found a real job and alzheimers found Pete. But maybe this is some kind of Joe Kinnear comeback in the making as Bollo*ks to Insurance mustered 51 points and collects a fiver for their troubles.

Another blast from the past is Ian Kennett, although as he will tell you, he did start working in insurance when he was 12, and to be honest he hasn't grown much since then. But Ian's Who are you calling Big Nose were another 'big' performer in week 13 scoring 49. Two top sides Gooner win League and Beaver Ruin both knocked in a 47, a point more than Student Ninjas and three more than Oz-bound Pot Noodle.

Kiss, Bangers, Lovelies, Rapid and Kebab all sounds together like a bloody good night out but in fact these were the teams next in the scoring stakes in week 13.

Other favourable mentions to Brighton Blues, Gunners Bandits, Mono's Cunning plan, Guinness & eggs, Pie Munchers and Lollygaggers.

Worst of the lot was.... Champions (again).

Transfers and bribes

Just a reminder, the deadline for transfers is Tuesday at 5pm each week. If you need an updated list, just email me. I'll add one to the email this week.

Also to reiterate, Ready and I are open to bribes. Cash, sexual favours or beer are all acceptable tender. But Pk, we have to exclude you from the sexual favours because we know where you have been.

The reason I mention this is that we have been subject to some (il)legal approaches recently. Offers of Mexican dancing girls and claiming to have more money than 50 million because you've applied for a government bailout have all been considered but subsequently declined, but don't give up.

Group stages

Next week the N&R FL moves into the fantasy group stages. There will be 7 groups names The Lamb, East India, New Moon, The Ship, Cheshire Cheese, The Elephant and The Kerryman. Which one will you be in? Well, you're have to wait and find out.

It will work like a world cup qualifier with the top teams going into to final nearer the end of the season. We will throw in some group prizes too.

And look out for more on the N&R FA Cup competition soon.

Movers and shakers

The very best of luck to Huw Thomas and his wife who are moving to Australia. Huw and his missus Ozzy are going to live in Adelaide, closer to her family. Apparently there is no truth in the rumours that he was becoming a bit too well known to the police in Swansea for sheep worrying.

Although privately we do know that Huw has been looking on line at the sheep dating website to get a good idea of what to expect when he finally get's down under, if you parden the pun. There is actually a website here for sheep dating - not work friendly. Baaaaa

Meanwhile Mark Wenman and Danny Matthews have both left BMS. Wenners is off to Price Forbes to work with Harry Potter. And Danny Matthews was struggling with the fact that he'd been at the same place almost long enough to work on a renewal and has also resigned. Relocation to be agreed.

Smooch

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
A lot of movement in the upper echelons of the table. Neil's Gooner win league opened up a 27 point lead, Glasgow kiss smooch into 2nd place and 2Infinity & beyond drop to 3rd. In 4th are Boys on tour, who zoomed in from 11th. It's Greg's first appearance in the top 10 this season. Student Ninjas drop to 5th, and in 6th are both of Soozies Succulent Sizzlers.

Beaver Ruin and Torres Rosso share 7th, 9th is Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and up to 10th from 21st, is Guinness and eggs. Steve was in 54th place just 10 weeks ago - shows what can be done.

Outside of the this group are In Tatters, Loads of Roubles, Nobby's Bermuda Shorts and Lamb to the slaughter, each gained good ground.

Lower down the order Bollo*ks to insurance moved up 13 spots and Mono's Cunning Plan hurdled 15 places to 29th. Well done lads.

At the bottom Curbishley is s**t drop to last, this is probably not helped by the fact I left Dave off the email list - sorry Wizzo. Pure Irish remain in the penultimate spot. Very surprisingly Barry Paull's Paris Eagles drop 7 places to 53rd - not sure whether Barry's ever been this low in the table. Philly Feet 2k8 slip 4 places and Mark's Champions climb to 48 and Ben's fantasy career has started well at Keep the faith. They move from 47th to 38th.

Week 12 reminder

Chelsea thrashed Sunderland 5-0, according to Keano all five goals scored by Alex, Lampard and 3 from Anelka were offside. Louis Saha rescued Everton at home as they beat Foolham. Hull City gave Man U a right good go at the OT, Ronaldo scored twice and Geovanni got a late pen for 'Ull.

Boro and Happy Hammers drew 1-1 at the Riverside. Mido and Mullins scored. Wigan beat Tony Adams Pompey 2-1 on the south coast, Big Emile scoring an injury time winner. The Baggies and Rovers drew 2-2. A late goal from Keith Andrews giving Incy a point. Bolton beat Citeh with a match winning performance from Ricardo Gardner.

The two big upsets came as Harry's Spudz won again, beating Liverpool 2-1 and Stoke thrashing Arsenal 2-1. Delap getting his 453rd assist of the season. Wenger out!

Week 13 reminder

Arsenal surprised a few people by beating Man U 2-1, Nasri getting both. Keane got two at home to Bolton for his first Scouse league goals. Hull started their march to the relegation battle by losing at home to Bolton 1-0. Tatlor getting the goal. Defoe got a late goal to claim the points for Pompey at Sunderland.

Everton beat West Ham convincingly 3-1 at Upton Park. Well convincingly only after 83 minutes, Louis Saha scored a brace. Wigan drew with Stoke 0-0 and on Sunday Chelsea beat Rovers 2-0 at Ewood. Anelka getting both, Foolham beat Newcastle at home 2-1, Murphy's penalty the difference. Boro had a great win at Villa Park and 'Arry continued his run at the City of Manchester stadium as Benty got two in a 2-1 win.

Bumper week topped by Foulger

Breaking News 88888 Week 12 scores
A bumper week 12 with season top scores all over the shop. Our man from Mexico Greg and his Boys on tour swept to 92 points and 4th in the table with his 2nd MoW in 5 weeks. Mono's Cunning Plan A had a miraculous week with a storming 83. Where the fcuk that came from only Mono will know. Table topper's Gooner win league opened a gap at the summit and Guinness & Eggs lived up the billing I gave him last week.

Loads of Roubles had a big jump up the table and Ben at Keep the faith contiued where he left off last week. Godder's Bollo*ks to Insurance finally came up trumps and Glasgow kiss and Towels on the bench both collected 75. Panzos Projectiles hit probably a record weekly score of 70 (I'd have to check), Preston Pie Munchers got busy with a 69 and In Tatters banged in 66.

Nancy Lollygaggers collected easily a season best 65, and Pure Irish had another good week scoting 64. Dangleberry Rovers at last got some action and notched 62, while Lamb to the slaughter and Who are you calling Big Nose both scored 60.

It was 59 for Nobby's Bermuda shorts and 58 for Megan and Hannah's bears, 2Infinity & beyond and Student Ninjas.

The week's worst score, if it can be called that was 18 by Cyril Smith First 11.

Road to Wembley - Bucking close

Drama, controversy, passion and pain – this FA Cup classic had it all and so much more. The drama – as fortunes swayed one way then the other in the blink of an astonished eye. Controversy – as Southend scored a suspect opener then were denied what looked a legitimate second before missing a penalty.

Passion – as AFC Telford turned the game on its head, Jon Adams bagging two terrific goals in an electric 30-minute spell. And pain – as the visitors saved their skins in injury-time with a deflected equaliser that means we must do it all again at Roots Hall next week.

Roared on by almost 4,000 at the New Bucks Head stadium Southend United took the lead when after a dodgy decision Jean-Francois Christophe took a quick free-kick and Laurent, suddenly through on goal, made no mistake. Having got their noses in front, the Essex men might well have wrapped it up in the opening 10 minutes of the second half.

But they didn't. Telford got back into the game and their pressure finally told on 70 minutes as Vaughan’s cross was only half-cleared and ADAMS struck a fine 25-yard left-footed effort into the bottom corner.

Telford, with their tails up, kept pressing and Andy Brown’s header hit the bar with Meredith volleying the loose ball over. It was ADAMS’ day, though, and he sent the New Bucks Head wild with his second seven minutes from time after good work by substitute Terry Fearns.

The Bucks looked like they could hold on even as the board went up for four minutes of stoppage time, but Southend had other ideas.

Christophe, on loan from Portsmouth, got them off the hook with a 20-yard shot that cruelly deflected off Jamie Vermiglio to beat Young. The moral victory, though, belonged to Telford – and the prize of a second round meeting with Luton or Altrincham remains very much up for grabs.

Telford team: Ryan Young, Lee Vaughan, James Meredith, Gavin Cowan, Stuart Whitehead (c), Martyn Naylor (Terry Fearns 56), Jon Adams, Jamie Vermiglio, Liam Blakeman (Carl Rodgers 80), Andy Brown, Lee Moore (Steve Jagielka 90).
Subs not used: Indy Khela, Steve Taylor, Steve Jagielka
Attendance: 3,631

Photograph of the week

Didier Drogba throwing back a 50p piece to the crowd after Chelsea drew with Burnley in the Carling Cup. Losing on penalties does not count as a defeat if you are a Chelsea fan by all accounts.

Straw Poll #2

Following on from Lewis Hamilton's extraordinary victory in the F1 championship and the exciting finish in Brazil that had the country on the edge of it's seat, I asked:

Lewis Hamilton....

a) British hero
b) All he's worried about is the cash
c) He's misunderstood
d) Knob

And the result was:

a) 32%
b) 14%
c) 17%
d) 17%
e) 20% other

Overwhelmingly the view was that he is a national hero. Quotes such as this one:

"Why oh why oh why do we as British people love people who lose but hate anyone who wins? so what if he's a bit arrogant - I'd be fuc king arrogant if I got paid a fortune,drove a formula 1 car brilliantly for a living, was sha gging a pussycat doll and had hair!!!!" He's a British hero and no mistake" - Rob Munden

However the 2nd most popular vote was one I didn't even ask for, that was e) "Lucky f*cker for sleeping with that Pussycat Doll, " as James Down put it.

Others who mentioned the lovely Miss Scherzinger were Rob of course and Peter Doyle: "C misunderstood, though more correctly a talented misunderstood knob that is banging a stunning bird."

Some plucked for d) such as Ben Graves, who said: "d) Mostly because he's is sh*gging the fit one from pussycatdolls, but also because as a nation we feel obliged to jump on the bandwagon of any successful sportsman we can (driving a car isn't even a proper sport by the way....don't even get me started on snooker or darts) so all of a sudden the country is full of F1 enthusiasts talking about the merits of refuelling strategies and safety cars, trying to fool themselves that they've always been a fan." But added: "I don't actually think he's a knob, he actually comes across as quite a level headed bloke, but thought that was the closest option."

Payment - Last Reminder

Ok, nearly Christmas, if you still owe money for this season, then please can you arrange payment in one of the following three ways:

1) Pass either cash or a cheque to Ready.

2) Put the funds into my bank account as follows:
Simon J Newport
NatWest
Sort Code56 00 18
A/C no. 08164193

3) Send a cheque to me at my parents at the following address:
8 Paddock Gardens
Wannock
Polegate
E Sussex
BN26 5PW

Thank you.

Photograph of the week

What goes up must come down. Since Harry has been at the Lane, everything he touches turns to wine. As for Adams, I'm not so sure and wine is probably the last thing he wants!

Road to Wembley - Big day for Telford

AFC Telford host League One Southend United after comprehensively beating Northwich Victoria from the divison above in the re-arranged 4th Qualifying Rd. Goals from LEE MOORE (2) ANDY ANDY in front of 1,003 people secured tomorrow's first round proper tie

Week 11 reminder

Sorry, I'm a week behind.

Sunderland beat Newcastle for the first time in 300 years. 3 goals and 40 arrests with Kieran Richardson the hero with a goal clicked at 73mph. Hull continued their Champions League assault with an easy 3-0 win over the Baggies. Zayatte, Geovanni and King scoring. Boro and Blackburn shared the spoils as did Everton and Man U. Rooney getting booked and lucky to stay on the pitch.

On the Sunday Villa thrashed Wigan at the JJB. Barry, Agbonlahor, Sidwell and Carew scoring (this time on the pitch and not in a strip club!). Spurs won under Harry, although to be fair he only had just turned up. They beat Bolton 2-0 thanks to Pavlyuchenko and Bent. Carlton Cole was sent off as the Hammers lost at home to Arsenal. Pompey and Foolham played out a 1-1 draw, Dempsey rescuing the west Londoners late.

In week 11's big game at the Bridge, Liverpool broke Chelsea's 86 home game unbeaten run - league remember, Charlton and Barcelona (often confused) both beat them in the cup! Alonso's 10th minute goal enough for the scousers. Robinho got a hattrick at Citeh beat Stoke 3-0 and on the Tuesday night Newcastle beat West Brom (a game that was included in week 11). Newcastle's first win under Roy Kinnear.

Middle to diddle

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
2Infinity & beyond move within 8 points of 4 week leader Gooner win league, Beaver Ruin (is that really your girlfriend James) stay 3rd in close shooting distance and Student Ninjas are 4th and Soozie's succulent pair are 5th. Very tight in the top 7.

I'm going to concentrate on the midtable teams this week though. Whilst Bent it like Bentley and St Mirnoff slipped off the pace a bit, there are some very capable teams below making their way slowly up the table.

Pot Noodle Miners, Nobby's Bermuda shorts (capable is probably pushing it mind), Lamb to the slaughter and Gunners Bandit all climbed healthily up the league in week 11. N&R virgin Sheron's ready to fac gained 7 places, another debutant Shinawatras Dream jumped 5 places and Team Chong was up 4. Other teams circling around the middle to watch out for are Guinness & eggs, Loads of roubles, Arsene Knows, Ginger Rapids and previous champ Sizzling Saveloys bangers.

At the bottom Pure Irish moved out of 55th place and Curbishley is s**t goes back to whence they came.

Huw goes Potty

Breaking News 88888 Week 11 scores
Huw Thomas, who is soon on his way down under as the N&R FL extends it's global reach would have been proud to win the MoW award in his final week in the city. Huw's Pot Noddle Miners wacked 43 points and they climbed 7 places up the table. In 2nd place in week 11 was Sheron's ready to fac. This is a bit of a milestone for the Liverpudlian, who moved into the top half of the table for the first time and we hope she can put a run together to join her bubbly mate Kirsty in the top 10.

Then in 3rd Keep the faith under new direction from Ben Guarino made an immediate impact scoring 36 points and propelled Fracney's boys away from the bottom of the table. Also with 36 pts was Shinawatras Dream. We haven't seen much of Leigh but this was a fine effort, his best of the season, and moves him up a few places too.

Nobby's Bermuda shorts were next with 34, same as 2Infninty & Beyond, and a point moer than Lamb to the slaughter, Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and the lovely Hilary and her Purest Irish.

Good scoring from Glasgow Kiss keeps the Scottish belle challenging for the title as it did for Aaron's Torres Rosso. Team GB under Wenners notched a nice 31 as did Rutter's Goonersmoan and Littig's Philly Feet 2k8 (is that really your girlfriend John?).

Finally kudos to Gooner win league (30), Ginger Rapids (30) and Brighton Blues (30). The lowest week 11 scored belonged to Californication, with 11 points, although I did hear last week that Chris got his mortgage paid off, pushing the amount of the loan AIG have now borrowed from the Fed nearer to the $100bn mark. Francey is checking if he can get his caravan paid off too.

An historic moment

"Now, I know jack, but when I was watching the baby faced state lawmaker the other night on TV, his presence and his words even made me think that I was watching the one day future President of the United States of America." Me, July 2004.

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those who would tear the world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you.
And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow." - Barack Obama, November 2008, the new President of America.

I stayed up late last night watching history being made. I sincerely hope Obama can change America and change the way it looks at the wider world beyond it's vast shores. Certainly Obama has provoked and galvanized the metamorphic American population. Meanwhile the world watched someone it can relate to. Welcome to the rest of the world America.

Chicago would have been an awesome place to be last night. I would have loved to have been in Grant Park (right) with 250,000 others listening to the new president's historic victory speech. The people of Chicago deserves Barack Obama and he deserves them.

Road to Wembley - Complete Abandonement

Think this was a first for the N&R FL, AFC Telford's game got abandoned at Northwich Victoria on Saturday due to a power failure. Judging by the Telford club statement, clearly something kicked off:

"The club would also like to distance itself from the totally inaccurate claims made in Dave Stringer's match report carried by The Non League Paper yesterday in which he insinuates that the club placed undue pressure on officials to abandon the game and that “loud cheers were heard from the away dressing room” when the news that the game had been abandoned came through. We totally deny these claims which are a pathetic attempt to divert attention away from the very real issues and actual cause of Saturdays abandonment." (more)

They were losing 1-0 at the time. The game will be replayed Tuesday (tomorrow) and the winners will host Southend Utd in the 1st Rd proper. About 400 Telford fans made the wasted short journey and the ticket prices have been reduced for tomorrow's game (in case you wanted to go!).

Week 10 reminder

After the International break, Arsenal destroyed Everton despite Osman putting the Toffeemen in front. Midget Nasri, Van Persie and Walcott got the Gunners 2nd half goals. Man U were even more dominant in their 4-0 win over West Brom. Goals for Rooney, Ronaldo, Berbatov and Nani. And Chelsea were even mor, oh you get the picture. Premier League, yawn!

Liverpool came behind again to beat plucky little Wigan 3-2. Kuyt scoring two more to add to his total of er, two. Meanwhile put Zaki in your team because Chelsea or Man U or Liverpool are bound to buy him in January. But cancel that, it will probably be Man City.

Talking of whom, they drew 2-2 at Roy Kinnear's Newcastle on Monday. Sunday saw Spurs lose again, oh stop it, it ain't funny is it Ready? Higginbotham got the first for Stoke and then Delap scored direct from a throw-in. Bale and Dawson were both sent off for Spurs.

Hull continued their amazing season beating West Ham at the KC. Ex-Addick Michael Turner heading the goal. And there were three goalless draws between Aston Villa and Portsmouth (Davis got sent off), Bolton and local rivals Blackburn and finally Foolham and Sunderland .

Neil goes top

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
Gooner win league slipped ahead of Soozie's Succulent Sizzlers in week 10 and now top the table by 7 points. James fresh back from Chi Town and his Beaver Ruin move into 3rd three behind Soozie. It's pretty close though as we approach week 12 and the split.

In 4th 2Infinity & beyond are a point ahead of Chris' Student Ninjas. Then Glasgow kiss and Torres Rosso tie for 7th. In 8th is curent champ Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon (that will cost me a flippin arm and leg if I have to get it engraved on a trophy next year!). Tied with Pk is Rutt's Goonersmoan, who stop the slide temporarily.

Bent it like Bentley is 10th up a place and Sweaty Palms are week 10's biggest loser down 6 places to 12th. Another dropsy were Rob's Elland (Glad) Back down from 13th to 18th. Real Ale Madrid moved in the oppo direction from 21st to 15th.

Other climbers were Arsene Knows (27th to 21st), Guinness and eggs (23rd to 19th) and Sheron's ready to fac (39th to 33rd) but two of the biggest movers were Panzo's Projectiles up 11 and Nobby's Bermuda Shorts up 13.

Curbishley is s**t move off the bottom and leave Pure Irish docked there on 143 points.

Champions are back

Breaking News 88888 Week 10 scores
Mark Simmons' Champions finally awoke from his slumber in week 10 to collect the MoW with 57 points. An efforsd that propelled him to 50th in the table. Still a long way to go. There was a huge gap to the next best manager, Paul Hargis' Real Ale Madrid collected a very fine nonetheless 43. One more than our man in Mexico Boys on Tour, who are edging their way up the table.

Nobby's Bermuda shorts hit another season best, joined by Panzo's Projectiles on 41 (also a season best). Then there was a gap to three teams on 33 points - Arsene Knows, Dangleberry Rovers and Sheron's ready to fac. Cor have you seen her? Not wrong.

32 points was the number for Glasgow kiss, Torres Rosso and Pam Ross' St Mirnoff FC, who are looking dangerous just outside the top 10. Student Ninjas confirmed their to 5 place with 31 and Preston Pie Munchers, Cyril Smith First 11, Hot Pink Center, Team GB and the No Hopers all notched 29.

The week's worst score belonged to Pure Irish.

AFC Telford - Who knew?

AFC Telford, our latest FA Cup giant killers are away at Northwich Victoria tomorrow hoping to win and get their names in the first round hat.

So let me tell you a few things about The Bucks:

- Telford is one of the countries largest towns (pop: 139,000) without a league club.
- AFC Telford is actually owned by the fans. Saved from bankruptcy in 2004.
- The clubs motto is numquam obliviscere (never forget).
- Telford play at the New Bucks Head. It was built in 2003 and is considered one of the best grounds outside the Football League.
- Local rivals include Shrewsbury and Kettering
- Since AFC Telford was formed in 2004 (the original name was Telford Utd), they have had 2 promotions in 4 years and last year lost in the North play-off final.
- Telford are currently 4th in the Conference North
- Stephen Jagielka will line up tomorrow in midfield, the older brother of Everton's Phil.

Photograph of the Week

Spurs proving that they can beat someone, even if it is Walthamstow, who dissolved in 1988!

Razor blunted

Recently Peter Godfrey and Ready got into a slanging match because Godders thought that he gave Keith his entry money one night when Pete was away with the fairies and Keith was out with some very important clients minding his p's and q's.

And then just the other day, again Ready had to deal with another drunken fool, this time Richard Razor Nathan. So sharp of course he can cut himself but also it appears so tipsy la-la that he forgets what he is doing.

Apparently standing at the bar attracting the wrong attention to himself last week Razor reckons he paid Keith 20 quid. Well according to various witnesses (and some weren't even strippers) they agree that he did no such thing despite Ready asking him to pay on various occasions.

Of course I will not have my man Ready's reputation slated like this, particularly when he doesn't even drink.

Director of Football

This topic was raised by Greg in his letter from Mexico recently. Of course it is all the trend in real football but how many times has it really worked at the higher levels of the Premiership? Go on then, give me an example.

In the world of N&R FL Alan Waters introduced Paul Kelleher to the league after his team was adrift at the bottom of the table. Muddy moved upstairs (to The Fenchurch Exchange if my memory serves me correctly) and installed a young Paul Kelleher as head coach. Paul performed a minor miracle and saved Muddy's Happy Hammers from disgrace and then got headhunted to run his own N&R FL side.

Then this week, fantasy stalwart Ian France announced that he too was stepping upstairs to become Director of Football of Keep the Faith and named Ben Guarino as footballing team manager. Ben takes over Keep the Faith with them sat 5th from bottom of the 55 teams, with just 158 points and two or the five worse weekly scores to his name.

Ben has already made 9 transfers in a speed with frankly won't see him last very long at AIG. I mean if he can knock a quote out that quick, he'll be down at the Korea Re in no time!

Welcome Ben, if you need Ready or I to talk to Francey about your financial package, just let us know.

Road to Wembley - Oh Bulgarians

Hendon were knocked out of the FA Cup last Saturday by a strong AFC Telford United side in the shadow of the arch of Wembley Stadium. Playing just down the road from the international side (who kicked off shortly after the end of the Greens' cup tie), the Bucks took early control of the tie taking the lead in the 11th minute through a TERRY FEARNS header. Hendon rallied well, and kept the Conference North side at bay for much of the half, but LEE MOORE took advantage when the Dons were overcommitted just before the half-time break to put Telford 2-0 ahead.

An improved second half saw Hendon create a number of chances, with Ryan Young having to save well on a couple of occasions, but it took an injury time penalty for the home side to get their deserved consolation, HAULE sliding the ball under Young's dive. Final score 1-2.

Hendon team: Lawrencin, Burgess, Vargas, Leach, Kirby, Bent, Busby, Hudson (Garner 45, Diedhiou 72), Haule, Hunt, Mapes (Guentchev).
Att: 377

That is a quick end of our relationship with Hendon and I never even got to tell you that they are maanged by former Bulgarian international Bontcho Guentchev, who spent the majority of his career playing in England for Ipswich Town.

In the 4th qualifying round draw AFC Telford are away at Northwich Victoria on October 25th. The prize will be a place in the 1st Round Proper.

Week 8 reminder

A late, late goal from Cesc Fabregas gave the Gunners a lucky point at the Stadium of light, Man U won comfortably against Paul Ince's Rovers. Brown and Rooney scoring. West Brom beat Fulham 1-0 as did Boro at Wigan. Aliadiere and Bednar (who I sold that week) got the goals.

On the Sunday it was miserable again for Spudz fans as they slumped at home to Hull City. Jenas, Lennon, Bent and Campbell were all booked as Geovanni acored a peach. It left Ramos's side contemplating their worst start in 96 years. The Hammers added to their off the pitch woes by getting stuffed by Bolton at Upton Park. Davies, Cahill and Taylor all scored for Wanderers with Carlton Cole replying.

Pompey beat Stoke 2-1, a Crouch & Defoe double and Chelsea beat Villa at the Bridge 2-0 with goals from Joe Cole and Anelka.

In two of the week's best games Newcastle pulled back a two-goal deficit to draw at Goodison Park and were unlucky not to win in Joe '@#$* ^&*@#' Kinnear's first game and Liverpool defeated Man City 3-2 with a late goal from Dirk Kuyt, after also being two goals down.

Top Gunners

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
Yet another new league leader, two of them in fact. And both Arsenal fans. The beautiful Soozies Succulent Sizzlers and the grammatically deficient Gooner Win League sit pretty on top of the pile after week 8. Soozie in fact has climbed 51 places since week 2 and is looking favourite to do an incredible double of walking up the aisle and the grander walking down to The Lamb to collect her title trophy. Neil meanwhile has had a fanatstic start to his N&R career.

Last week's leader 2Infinity & beyond drops to 3rdand Beaver Ruin stay 4th. Student Ninjas in turn fall to 5th, just 7 ahead of the Hull City of the N&R FL, Sweaty Palms who incredibly are in 6th - keep it up Sweats.

Current champion Pk and his Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon are in 7th and then comes Torres Rosso, Glasgow kiss, back in the top 10, and Goonersmoan. Rutts has now fallen from top to 10th in 3 weeks.

Hannoi Utd slip 4 places to 11th and Elland (Glad) Back move up a place to 13th. I'm keeping an eye on Pam Ross (only because I'm told she's tidy) as St Mirnoff hurdled 6 places to 13th in week 8, and another big climber was Hot Pink Center who jumped from 27th to 16th.

Brighton Blues fall to 17th, Gerrardinho is up 6 to 18th and Mrs Soozie and his Bangers are 19th.

Lower down Loads of Roubles drop to 8 places, Towels on the bench climbed 10 places after a season's best and watch out for little Nobster, whose Bermuda shorts storm into 35th place after their best week of ther season!

At the bottom Champions finally climb off it, and are replaced with Curbishley is sh*t. Dangleberry Rovers are in 53rd and Pure Irish in 52nd.

Double Sausage

Breaking News 88888 Week 8 scores
A double banging this week for Soozie as she collected her second MoW award in week 8 for the highest 7-day score of the season, 70 points. This Sizzled her Succulent ones up the table into 2nd place. Soozie scored 14 points more than the next best side, that was Beaver Ruin, James scoring 56. New Dad Tim and 'Frank' scored their season-best with 55 for Hot Pink Center. Talking of which, Kirsty's Glasgow Kiss were next up with 54 and then Gooner win league with 50.

Other teams worth a mention in week 8 were Champions, who finally came out of their horrible run of form to score 48, Razor's Gerrardinho cut in with 46, Towels on the bench 45, 44 was scored by both Sweaty Palms, keeping up his excellent start to the season and St Mirnoff.

The No Hopers (43), Team Chong (42), Californication (42), Nancy Lollygaggers(42) and Real Ale Madrid (42) also deserve some credit.

The week's lowest score was Keep the faith who flumped to just 4 points and a drop of 9 places.

The best weekly score

Early days but here we go. The best 7 day fantasy score so far:

1. Soozie Sausage, 70 pts, week 8
2. Brian Rutter, 67 points, week 5
3= Lee Baughan, 61 points, week 3
3= Soozie Sausage, 61 points, week 3
5. Paul Kelleher, 60 points, week 3
6= Greg Foulger, 58 points, week 7
6= Chris Wright, 58 points, week 3
6= Brian Rutter, 58 points, week 3
9= James Down, 56 points, week 1
9= Richard Nathan, 56 points, week 2
9= Barry Plummer, 56 points, week 3
9= Barry Plummer, 56 points, week 5
9= James Down, 56 points, week 8

There will be a prize for the best and worst weekly score.

Bad debtors

Have you seen the debt some of (most of) the Premier League clubs are carrying? I really believe that one of these big boys is going to go bankrupt sooner rather than later. The game is leveraged by television money, an arbitrary monthly outgoing that many families will be thinking twice about. Falling television receipts will only emphasise club's considerable levels of debt, and believe me when the banks have finished sorting themselves out that debt will not be looking pretty.

So called millionaires, billionaires even are no longer such. Before the entrance of camels on the horizon Charlton very prudently paid down short-term debt, ensuring that banks will ignore us when it comes to withdrawing credit, perhaps it might have forced us into administration? Other clubs lower down the food chain will not be so lucky. How many teams will end this season with a points deduction due to forced upon administration?

We have all been forced to understand recently what leveraged money is, describing the ability to magnify potential profits by investing borrowed money. Many clubs and West Ham are sadly the greatest example are 'backed' by this 'funny money' and not real cash. That funny money is not particularly funny anymore. Add in the potential fine due to the Tevez debacle and XL going tits up plus £142 of debt and the Hammers have big problems. However they have the potential, geography, fanbase and history to find a new suitor but do Fulham (£182m in debt) and Middlesbrough (£84.6m in the red) if their current sugar daddies decide to ditch their 'investments'?

Manchester United's debt is seven times that of Bermuda. Recent figures put United's debt at £764m and the Glazer's had to pay £81 million in interest alone last year. Even a dodgy referee is not going to let them get away with that. Chelsea can't even beat Man U in the debt league! They come a close 2nd with a whopping £736m, but then they have Abramovich, who after a bad few weeks at the office is down to his last few billion. Chelsea's debt nevertheless is underwritten by Abramovich at let me see, a slightly better interest rate than those elsewhere in the Premier League.

Liverpool and Manchester United, meanwhile, were taken over or partially bought by American businessmen using a private-equity type model, borrowing heavily to buy the clubs, and then loading them up with the debt. Liverpool's debt is said to be £350m, most of which was due to be refinanced in 2009. The old Kop might well be standing for a few years yet.

The chairman of the FA, Lord Triesman touched a sore nerve among England's top clubs last week, and also I expect raised some unwelcome eyebrows in some of their banks. Some of the other Premier League club's debts are as follows:

Arsenal £318m, but nearly all tied up in the new stadium and those new flats. Oh.
Man City £103m, but soon to be wiped out by petrol dollars.
Newcastle United £69.7m, with the club on the market for £400m with Dennis Wise thrown in for nowt.
Aston Villa £63m but with a rich and seemingly well informed sugar daddy.
Bolton £43m with Eddie Davies looking to sell.
Portsmouth £41m with huge wage bills and an owner running short of money.
Sunderland £35m and big spenders.

A lot of doom and gloom and I really don't want to see a club go to the wall, especially mine or yours.

For excellent up to date news on the football economy, check out The Political Economy of Football.

Photograph of the week

Poor Chris Iwelumo. His face says it all. The ex-Addick never had a great first touch but blimey. Up there with Ronnie Rosenthal for the worst ever open goal miss.

Our man in Mexico

Greg Foulger is our man in Meck-i-co. He has wired in this latest transcript about his fantasy team and some of his challengers for the title:

"World phenomenon Boys on Tour have been spotted training in the foothills of Mexico City with manager Gregory Foulger and new director of football Sven-Goran Eriksson. The altitude training would now appear to be paying dividends after a fantastic performance in Week 7 as the Boys on Tour look to build on an impressive first season. Asked about the season so far, Gregory Foulger merely replied

"yes we’re sampling the tacos, of course we share in a tequila or two in the afternoon but most of all it's about enjoying the football. Myself and Sven are looking at total football, look at the boys, just look at them. Yes, Sven and I are very handsome blonde men, and in Mexico that goes a long way. Put it this way, it's done us no harm, look at morale. My mum always said you couldn't get a good roast outside of England, myself, Sven and JT beg to disagree."

When asked about the other managers in the league, maverick Gregory Foulger replied "what do you think?", an impressive insight from the man crowned 'World's sexiest manager 2004-2008'.

Foulger did however express his disgust at the entry of Ryan Saveall "I was hoping we'd got rid of that toe rag, I personally can't stand him. Ryan and Huw Thomas represent everything that's wrong with the modern fantasy game. They're all about themselves, they're all ego. I'm the special one, i'm the most handsome and i'm by far the most talented manager."

Boys on Tour maverick Gregory Foulger then admitted to making a grave error in locating preseason training in Miami. "It was all too much for the boys, I made an error of judgement. Yes myself and Sven had a right old time but we spent a lot of the shareholders' money, team bonding with various young ladies was at times taken to an excessive level and young Jimmy Bullard went AWOL on numerous occasions. I believe that after experiencing the excesses of Miami he's now considering a transfer to Sweaty Palms, I understand their manager Lee Baughan endorses that kind of behaviour if you get my drift."

Foulger then went on to comment about the recent rumour that Thaksin Shinawatra was looking to finance a takeover of Hannoi United and make a substantial sum of money available for transfers: "Hannoi United can buy whoever they want, it doesn't mean they will have a good team. You need all things together, the alchemy of the team, the direction of an inspirational manager. They've got Read, they've got nothing. Give them as much money as you want, Hannoi will still be a mediocre team and Read will still be a little d*ck head."

Week 7 reminder

Ok, deep breath. Hull beat Arsenal in the first of a north London one-two. Of course you all have Daniel Cousin in your teams, don't ya? Torres scored two as the Mersey Reds beat the Mersey Blues. West Ham won at the Cottage. Cole & Etheringtpn the scorers. Murphy replying from the spot. Man U beat a resilient Bolton through a dodgy Ronaldo pen and Rooney. Villa beat Sunderland 2-1.

There were a lot of 2-1's as Blackburn beat Newcastle, despite a 2nd half fight back. Samba, Santa Cruz and Micky Owen scored. West Brom won at the Riverside, Chelsea beat Stoke 2-0 thanks to Bosingwa and Anelka, whilst on the Sunday Pompey heaped more pressure on Ramos by easily winning 2-0. Old boy Defoe and Crouch got the goals and then Wigan beat Man City, ooh 2-1. Valencia for Wigan with Kompany equalising and another dodgy pen, this from Zaki.

Bazzooka

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
A new league leader. Barry Plummer despite choosing to support a rubbish football team actually knows a thing or two about his footie. Previous N&R FL champ and consistent contender, Bazza has had an excellent start to this campaign and after waiting in the aisles for the last couple of weeks with some steady scoring, 2 Infinity & beyond made their move this week and went top of the table. They knocked off a horribly out of form Goonersmoan, who drop to 4th after leading since the gun.

In 2nd move Student Ninjas after a fine week 7 and in 3rd are new boys Gooner win league. Current champ Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon slip up and fall to 5th five points ahead of Beaver Ruin. Ready and Soozie are locked together (not for the first time) Sausages and Hannoi hand in hand on 206 pts.

Sweaty Palms are still hanging in there on 9th, joint with Torres Rosso and In Tatters are nicley placed behind them.

There were some big climbers in week 7. Bent it like Bentley jumped 12 places as did Elland (Glad) Back, Gerrardinho moved up 14 spots and Team GB hurdled 12 other managers.

At the bottom the Champions are now 30 points adrift of Curbishley is s**t. At what points does Mark change his game plan? Another big surprise is seeing Ben Graves Dangleberry Rovers down there level with Megan & Hannah's Bears, which is er, not a surprise!

Mexican wave

Breaking News 88888 Week 7 scores
Ah the man from Mexico with love. I wondered when he would finally get into gear this season. Greg's Boys on tour started like a bat out of hell last season, this time it has been a lot more, well Mexican. Greg took the MoW in week 7 with a score of 58 ans climbed an incedible 22 places. Next up was Bent it like Bentley, and even with both of those players in Dewbs' team, he still managed 56 points.

Following these two were Student Ninjas and Elland (Glad) Back with 53. Chris pushing himself into 2nd place and Rob upto 14th. New leader 2Infinity & beyond scored a half century, one more than another early challenger Torres Rosso. Plaudits to Soozies Succulent Sizzlers, who had a banger of a week (allegedly) by scoring 47, the same as Razor whose Gerrardinho surged 13 places.

Gooner win League and Team GB both fired a 45 and Towels on the bench, Guinness & eggs, St Mirnoff and Cyril Smith each knocked up 44.

The lowest weekly score was a shocker. Rutt's Goonersmoan who after leading the way for each of the previous 6 weeks, suddenly slumped to 4th after scoring just 9 points.

Hull City

You got to give it to Hull City haven't you? Up until this season and for 103 years Hull was the largest English city never the have had a team play in the countries top tier. Now, I'm not a great lover of Hull, it's bloody grim up there but credit where credit's due those northern monkeys must be on cloud nine at the moment.

Just 10 years ago Hull just managed to avoid relegation from the old fourth division to the conference. In 2000 under Brian Little they had the baliffs close their old ground Boothferry Park with bankruptcy seemingly around the corner. In 2001 a takeover by former Leeds director Adam Pearson settled the ship and he ploughed considerable money into the club. Brian Little was sacked and replaced by Jan Molby, a big name and a big belly. He was the hot ticket that Pearson wanted but after just a few months with City struggling in Division 3, he was sacked and replaced by Peter Taylor, who had left Brighton bemoaning financial constraints. Hull had a bit of money.

Taylor took the helm just as the Tigers moved out of the dreary Boothferry Park and into the KC Stadium (named after sponsors Kingston Communications). The next season Taylor got Hull promoted from the old Div 3 to the old Div 2 (now League One) finishing 2nd. Then Taylor did it again with another runners up spot to take Hull into the Championship for the first time since 1990.

Taylor achieved stability in his first season in the Championship and finished 18th, then Taylor made a mistake he will live to regret - he buggered off to Crystal Palace. the now Charlton assistant manager Phil Parkinson took over, spent a lot of money but struggled. Pearson showed again he would not accept failure and sacked Parkinson.

But this time he erred away from choosing a big name and persuaded Phil Brown to leave Big Sam's side at Bolton and take his first management job. This was in December 2006. Brown brought back ex-player Dean Windass and together they kept Hull up.

Last summer in a move that has been a huge factor in Hull's success, Brown brought in ex-manager Brian Horton as his number two and last season against the odds they made the play-offs and won promotion. Also last summer Adam Pearson, who had done so much for the club and community decided to sell up to Paul Duffen, who had made his money in the media.

Hull was the 3rd club that Duffen and his consortium tried to buy after West Ham and Cardiff. Duffen plays a much more behind the scenes role than Pearson did, but he sat and watched Hull win the play-off's at Wembley and has backed Phil Brown with a fair bit of cash this season, although what they have achieved so far deserves serious credit.

And where did Adam Pearson go? To take over Derby County last autumn, the team that went down with record points, and had their place taken by.... Hull City of course!

Interesting fact: Hull already have 3 more points than Derby got during the whole of last season.

Rod Liddle says

Another thought provoking article in the Sunday Times from Rod Liddle on crowd abuse at football matches. For the full article click here.

"The Sol Campbell song is impossible to defend; but then an awful lot of football chants are difficult to defend. They have become nastier and more personal of late and we could argue all year about why. Perhaps we are much nastier people these days; or the gulf between players and supporters has become so grotesque the players are no longer viewed as anything other than fair game for an unlimited level of abuse. We pay their obscene wages; they repay us with a total and utter lack of loyalty, so they get what they deserve. Maybe it’s both of these things."

Photograph of the week

With apologies to my mate Keith. Tottenham are without a win now in seven matches, their worst start to a season since 1912, the year the Titanic sank, Herbert Asquith was Prime Minister, Scott was in the South Pole and Barnsley won the FA Cup. Whatever happened to that nice chap Martin Jol?

Road to Wembley - Happiness isn't a team called Hamlet

Hendon are through to the third qualifying round of the FA Cup after seeing off our one-round wonders Dulwich Hamlet 2-1 in a replay at Harrow Borough FC last week. The first game at Champion Hill ended 2-2 in front of 353 people.

In this game Hamlet found themselves a goal and a man down but put in a stunning second half display that almost snatched an improbably victory. NOEL and CUMBERBATCH scoring the goals earning a replay.

Goals from Dave Diedhiou and Harry Hunt gave the Greens a 2-0 lead at half-time in a game held at Harrow Borough, before the NOEL pulled one back after the break for Hamlet.

Hendon will now host AFC Telford of the Blue Square North Div on October 11. The match will be played at Wembley FC. Hendon are currently homeless after their home for 80 years at Claremont Road in Brent Cross was shut. Hendon, who are owned by a supporters trust have been playing home games "wherever they can," and their future is in serious doubt.

The crowd for the Hamlet replay for a game that was played at Harrow was just 139, the lowest of the season. More on the plight of Hendon soon.

Congratulations

Congratulations to Tim Feldbruegge and his wife EB on the birth of triplets! Bloody hell, can you imagine? All boys there names are John Frasier, Charles Ryan and Samuel Joseph. Blimey I would have thought three names would have been hard to pick!

Week 6 reminder

Ok, remember this is last week's action not the weekend just gone.

On the Saturday Zola's reign at Upton Park got off to a good start, the Hammers even owned all the players on the pitch according to Scott Duxbury, oh. Di Michele scoring twice and Etherington getting the other as they beat Newcastle 3-1. Don't panic Joe Kinnear is coming.

Chopra, fresh out of Betty Ford scored twice, not with Betty but for Sunderland at home to Boro. Stoke held on for dear life at home to Liverpool to draw 0-0. Arsenal won convincingly at Bolton and Matt Derbyshire's late goal beat Foolham.

On the Sunday Villa won 2-1 at the Hawthorns, Spudz and Wigan played out a relegation battle and both won a point each, whilst the other relegation candidate Man U scraped a vital point at Stamford Bridge. Park and Kalou scoring the goals. Utd had 19 players booked. Hull drew 2-2 on Humberside and Man City went all out attack and stuffed Pompey 6-0. Jo, Dunne, Robinho, Wright, Phillips, Evans and Gelson scored. Hang on, isn't that 7?

Whose likely to challenge?

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
6 weeks gone and Goonersmoan still sit proudly on top - come on Rutts, this is your year. In fact the top 4 each remain unchanged. Student Ninjas move into 5th, with Brighton Blues up 4 to 7th.

But it's outside the top 10 that I want to look this week. In 13th and 14th lie two annual title contenders, Soozie and Roubles. Then comes another fairly consistent player Aaron and his Torres Rosso in 15th. In 16th is Doyley's Ginger Rapids, also lets not forget a previous champ.

Further down the charts Danny's Arsene Knows have shed loads of fantasy experience, as does Lamb to the Slaughter. Behind them potential challengers that lie in wait are Elland (Glad) Back and the USA! USA! USA!'s Guinness and eggs. Two old stalwarts that have started slowly but we'd expect to be nearer the top than the bottom come May are Bollo*ks to insurance and Paris Eagles.

Who are you calling Big Nose, Boys on tour and Team GB have each had a crap start and the less said about the Champions the better, but watch them move up the table as the pressure mounts and if I had to pluck a new boy or girl out this season I would say either Dynamo Kebab or St Mirnoff FC to be up there at the action end of the season.

No. 27 to go

Breaking News 88888 Week 6 scores
After a great start Team Chong bounced back into the big time in week 6. Danny tied for MoW with Paris Eagles, both Barry and Dan scoring a lowly 27. Brighton Blues kept up their Hull-like start to the season with 26, the same as Soozie Saveall, nee Syrett.

Five teams then managed 25 points. Student Ninjas stay in the top 5, while In Tatters, Bollo*ks to insurance, Bingo FC and Lovejoy all improve their positions. League leader Goonersmoan had another fine week scoring 24, same as Loads of Roubles, Shinawatras Dream and Curbishley is s**t.

The week's lowest score was by Michael Stout's No hopers, who slipped in just 3.

Bermuda Triangle

I know you lot worry about my well being. Of course I often pour my heart out on here, but that would mean you'd have to decipher the Charlton crap, best avoided probably.

I've been here about 10 weeks now and am finally getting more settled. I suppose it took me a lot longer in Chicago, 6 months I would say before I really appreciated the enormity of what I'd done. But this time around, as I would have hoped, it's been a lot quicker.

Bermuda is like living in a bubble though a surreal place where work and holiday intertwine. There is no getting away from the sea, you can see it from almost everywhere as Bermuda is only a mile and a half wide at it's widest point. Office life is like any other, but commuting by ferry makes me realise that this is no normal place.

I've compared Bermuda to like living in an English village 20 years ago except with 10,000% inflation. The post comes when the postman feels like it, the shops shut on a Sunday and mostly only open 9 to 5 midweek. The banks shut at 4pm! Everyone says hello to each other, the television is rubbish and a pet cat being run over is front page of the newspaper.

For me what I have really liked is the market community, that doesn't exist in Chicago. Here with the market made up of Brits, Americans, Canadians and Bermudians the market has more of a buzz about it and weirdly at every turn of a street corner I recognise a face from the past. Often not their name, but their face. If you wondered where that bloke went you used to see at ABC syndicate, at Cannon St station or in The Lamb everyday, well more than likely he is here.

Bermuda, a bubble full of new capital and old faces. It is really all the same except for the sound of the waves.....

Photograph of the week

Actually not sure which made me laugh more. Roy Kinnear or the new Newcastle manager!

Payment please

If you still owe money for this season, then please can you arrange payment in one of the following three ways:

1) Pass either cash or a cheque to Ready.

2) Put the funds into my bank account as follows:
Simon J Newport
NatWest
Sort Code56 00 18
A/C no. 08164193

3) Send a cheque to me at my parents at the following address:
8 Paddock Gardens
Wannock
Polegate
E Sussex
BN26 5PW

Thank you.

Rant over

None of my business, but after my recent rant about the state of our game and the fat getting more ignorant and all that, bloody congratulations to Sheffield United and Kevin McCabe on 'winning' their independent tribunal decision on overturning the Premier League's Carlos Tevez decision not to deduct points from West Ham but to fine them a derisory and frankly cowardly sum of £5.5m instead.

Amazingly chief liar Scott Duxbury is still the chief executive of West Ham, Terry Brown is still counting his £33m, Paul Aldridge is proving that liars can still get the best jobs as chief operating officer of nouveau riche Man City, Kia Joorabchian is still advising the Hammers on transfers, Richard Scudamore earns over a £1m as the Premier League's chief executive and the three old buffers Lord Griffiths, Judge Sir Anthony Colman and Robert Englehart QC are probably still trying to get tonight's dinner out of their beard. The word incompetence does not do these fools justice.

I have nothing against West Ham, in fact I've always had a bit of a soft spot for them, but the list of idiots above have hammered (no pun intended) another huge flaming nail into the coffin containing the game that we love.

Quick fire

Breaking News 88888 Week 5 scores
Brian Rutter has always been known as a quick starter and according to my sources in Bangkok, a bit of a quick finisher too! However after just 4 scoring weeks Bri's Goonersmoan has had 3 excellent weeks and fully deserves the N&R fiver for MoW last week hitting a season-best 67, 11 more than 2nd best 2Infinity & beyond. Pot Noodle scored well as did Pk's Tellywacker's Bukkake Marathon and Lamb to the slaughter.

Also worth a mention in a tough week was Francey's Keep the faith, a very apt name indeed, although I believe it was originally named after his beloved Brighton and not AIG. Gooner win League, Student Ninja's, Beaver Ruin, Load of Roubles, Paris Eagles and Glasgow kiss all deserved a mention in dispatches.

Not Mark's Champions, who followed week 3's 0 points with 1 in week 5.

AIG

Many of us have worked some long hours this week as we navigate the latest insurance disaster to be thrown at us. As I said to someone yesterday "Whoever said insurance is boring?"

In fact if you'd only entered the insurance industry at the turn of the century, then you'd have already faced 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Spitzer and now the AIG financial crisis.

Thing is in these times though is to remember the people, just like some of the poor sods who worked for that fat bastard at Independent many years back. There are some great people at AIG, quite a lot of whom form part of the N&R FL and we are proud to have you on here.

Ready is in Thailand this week but from both of us lets hope this all works itself out and that the AIG people and their families come out of it unscathed.

Week 5 reminder

No games in week 4 due to the world cup qualifying campaign.

In week 5 Man U slipped up again losing at Liverpool in Rafa's first victory over their big rivals. Babel got the winner despite an early Tevez goal, assisted by Berbatov. The Cockney Mafia lost to Hull at St James Park, confused by Mike Ashley as the park in London. Marlon King got two. In the game of the zillionaires, Citeh lost convincingly to Chelski 3-1, this despite Robinho's early free kick.

Arsenal scored four more goals, this time at Ewood. Adebayor helped himself to a hat trick. West Ham lost to West Brom whilst Zola sat in the stand being nice to people around him, even Frank Skinner. Foolham beat Bootem 2-1, Defoe scored two as Pompey beat Boro and Wigan and Sunderland drew 1-1. On Sunday Stoke despite playing for throw-ins so Delap could launch 50-yard throws lost at home in quite a game to Everton. Tim Cahill beating the corner flag up for some reason after he got the winner.

And finally relegation favourites Spurs lost again to Aston Villa 2-1 despite Darren Bent's goal.

No moaning from Rutts

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
Rutter's Goonersmoan stepped out in front after week 5. A MoW performance put him 16 points clear of 2 Infinity & Beyond, with Hannoi Utd dropping to 6th. Tellywacker's Bukkake Marathon stay in 3rd with Gooner Win League into 4th and Beaver Ruin FC up to 5th.

Below Ready is Glasgow kiss (*subject to points deduction) with Student Ninjas, Sweaty Palms (down 6) and Pot Noodle Miners FC making up the top 10.

With just 5 weeks gone including a blank one, it is rather scary for us mere mortals to see Plummer, Kelleher, Ready & Down all in the top 10 with Ryan's Sizzling Saveloys Bangers, Danny's Arsene Knows and John's Loads of Roubles just outside.

Big climbers were the Lamb to the Slaughter up 17 places and Keep the faith up 18. A big sinker was Danny's Team Chong who fell 16 points.

Early days of course but Mark Simmons' Champions are having an absolute 'mare.

Sooz and Sav - a match made in N&R heaven

Our first ever Nobby & Ready Fantasy marriage has been announced ladies and gentlemen, Cilla Black will be proud. Soozie Syrett and Ryan Saveall got engaged in Rome at the Trevi Fountain (saved on buying dinner of course) and both Keith and I are very happy to have been the catalyst for this meeting of two people of like fantasy minds. Actually it was probably 10 pints of ordinary at the 2007 end of season pissup in The Lamb, and the fact that Soozie had a very low cut top on that night if I remember, but hey we are taking all the plaudits and have already arranged for us to go out and have a hat made each.

Soozie and Sav are both also previous champions of the N&R FL, a match made in N&R heaven then, and certainly a more attractive one than say Peter Godfrey and Peter Doyle, two other past champs.

Congratulations to both Sooz and Sav - we can't wait for the hen night.

Road to Wembley - Jets fail

Oxhey Jets’ hopes of causing another FA Cup shock were emphatically ended by Dulwich Hamlet.

Having scored five in the previous two rounds, the ball was firmly on the other foot in Saturday’s first round qualifying tie as Hamlet ran out 5-1 victors at the Boundary Stadium. The Ryman League One side were firmly in control of the game by the half-hour mark after DARYL PLUMMER had scored on nine minutes and LAURENT HAMICI had added a 29th-minute penalty.

HAMICI added a third two minutes after the restart before JAMIE ARTHUR gave Jets a glimmer of hope by netting on 54 minutes. But any hopes of a turnaround were ended by PLUMMER's second on 70 minutes before HAMICI completeda fine hat-trick in the last minute.

Hamlet were frankly too good for our Jets, and passed the ball around well. So it is goodbye to the Jets a hello to the Hamlet, who play Hendon at home in the 2nd Qualifying Round on September 27th.

Photograph of the week

This debt ridden club are now sponsored by the American tax payer, who just love soccer, apart from the fact that there are never enough points in a game.

Patrick Collins says

Another great writer and Charlton fan incidently. Patrick Collins has spoken sense on the subject of our first love for donkeys years. This is from his most recent outburst in the Mail on Sunday. Click here for full article (courtesy of Rob Munden).

"For the past week has demonstrated that the only people who count are the ones with the deepest pockets. They may know a little, or nothing at all. It doesn't matter. Provided they have the money, they can do as they like, promote whom they choose and dispense with those who displease them, all without check or restraint.

That is the cold reality of English football. It is a ship of fools without a captain, a course or a discernible direction. It has great wealth and no values. It cherishes cheap celebrity and despises its own history. It attracts legions of fellow travellers and alienates those who once loved it most dearly.

He may not appreciate it at the moment but I'd say Kevin Keegan is well out of it."

Photograph of the week

Blimey, something to be proud off. Even Rio looks like he's enjoying himself. Pity only a few hundred could watch it on Setanta though.

The Plan

Top of my head - this is what we are going to do this season.

As you have no doubt already realised we have 55 managers all in one big league - no fun there, unless you are near the top. So after week 12 we are going to split up into world cup like qualifying groups. The number of which and how many in each group will take me a bit longer to work out, but week 12 will be the split and each manager will retain their points.

Later in the season, we will determine when everyone comes back together again, but needless to say, the team with the season's most points will be crowned the N&R FL Champion.

New this season will be the Nobby & Ready Cup. Six rounds plus a Final and we will start that near the end of the year. Each round will take place when there is a full schedule of Premiership matches and each team will be drawn out of a hat and be paired in advance. The manager with the most points that week over his opponent, goes through to the next round. Exciting eh?

10,000 hits

Oh look at that, Nobby & Ready's blog has surpassed 10,000 hits. Not bad since only you saddo's and me look at it. Actually it doesn't even count my visits.

Back in the day Ready and I used to hand deliver newsletters once every couple of weeks. Then we mailed them out, and I actually remember once our office postie jobsworth complaining about me using Aon's postage for them, and then we emailed a word document until four years ago when we found the blog world.

So 10,000 hits equates to about 49 'visits' a week - you're all welcome, keep them coming please.

Straw Poll

These were the results of last week's straw poll.

Do you think ADUG's takeover of Manchester City is good or bad for the game:

Good: 33% (9 votes)
Bad: 67% (18 votes)

These are a selection of the comments suggesting it was good for the game:

"Kenyon and Abramovich are classless chavs and their club behaves accordingly - no grace or style and sulking humourless oafs. Seeing a bagman like Kenyon getting medals on the pitch with the players in the Champs League final was dreadful and compared horribly with Man U and true english hero Bobby Charlton. Its great to see them lose out and look like the second rate bullies they are." Martin Singleton.

"Good, well not actually good but not necessarily bad. It's no different to any other takeover, United and Chelsea are not exactly owned by Unicef and Amnesty International." Huw Thomas.

"Yes for English Football - possibly not good for Manchester where the has historically only been one real team. Message from friend of mine - In Brazil, United are known as Manchester as no one has heard of City. I think Robinho is in for a shock!!" Mark Simmons

"Good - brings best players in the World to England." Rod Munden

"City's propensity for shambles will remain despite the money pouring in - they are bound to buy loads of duffers (remember Malcolm Allison's tremendous waste of money in the 70's?) and they won't ever win anything serious but they will upset many of the also-rans e.g. Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham etc who think that they will be the next big thing." Singleton again.

And these were some saying it wasn't good:

"Bad – we will see less and less English qualified players in the Premier League and more overseas mercenaries! We are already seeing the effect of this as England struggle to beat Andorra – pathetic!" Francey

"Definately Bad, soon there will be no Top English Clubs in British Control. Having said that, if it brings in cash to spend on players and success, then I guess supporters will be happy short term. But do we really know these guys long term intentions etc - leave dbt ridden clubs when they move onto some other pet project/hobby." Alex Boswell

"Bad - cos I'm fed up of Premier League primadona nonsense that relates not a jot to the football of yesteryear in the good old days!" Rob Munden

"Bad - cos they didn't buy Leeds when we needed them!!!!!" Rob Munden obviously

"Very Bad. What English Football needs is more Americans. I hear the following are interested: Mark Cuban, George W. - he'll be bored come January and T Boone Pickens." John Littig

Rod Liddle says

I now have the delight to spend my Sunday mornings with The Sunday Times, thanks to an ingenious idea where full copies of international newspapers are digitially printed on a broadsheet format and delivered to your front door wherever you live. It is $10 well spent.

I expect many of you lot are Sunday Sport people, and who can blame you, but me I love the old Sunday Times, particularly writers such as AA Gill, Simon Barnes, Martin Johnson, Giles Smith, Hugh McIlvanney and in particular Rod Liddle.

So for those of you that miss Mr Liddle's cutting comments on the state of today's game, many of which mirror my own, I thought I would start a new series of quotes, linking to Liddle's full article.

"It seems the manager (Alan Curbishley) had a strip torn off him by one of his players in the dressing room following West Ham’s fortuitous victory over Blackburn last week. Curbishley had ventured to suggest that his team had seemed intent, for the second time in three games, on chucking away a two-goal lead. What nerve, what cheek, of a manager to say such a thing! One player shouted at him that the team had “kept you in a job” by their magnanimity in occasionally contriving to win matches. This was the club captain, Lucas Neill, who was well renowned for his consuming arrogance even when he played for Millwall. The same Lucas Neill awarded an outrageous wage packet by Curbishley when he arrived from Blackburn and which he earned by sitting on his arse for three months with a knee injury."

Read full story here.

Photograph of the week

Some Manc happy with life outside 'Middle Eastlands' after it was announced that Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan's oil filthy rich backed Abu Dhabi United Group (ADUG) bought Man City from Thaksin Shinawatra over a latte at a Costa Coffee outlet near Dubai airport.

Week 3 reminder

Ok, here we go. A quick run down of last week's matches. Chelsea were held by the Spudz at home after Darren Bent equalised Belletti's first half opener. On the same day Liverpool drew at Villa Park and noveaux riche Man City were in sparkling form as Shaun Wright Phillips scored twice at Sunderland in a 3-0 win.

Arsenal beat those lovable rogues Newcastle 3-0, Pompey won big at Goodison with Defore scoring twice, despite Crouch trying to nick one of his goals. The goals continued to fly in as Wigan hit 5 at Hull and West Ham beat Blackburn 4-1 with two late goals. Curbs would have been pleas... Oh.

Boro beat Stoke 2-1, who had that useless piece of shit Amdy Faye sent off and in the only goalless game of the week, the Baggies drew 0-0 at Bolton.

Sausage in hand

Breaking News 88888 Week 3 scores
Sweaty Palms and Soozies Succulent Sizzlers engenders all kinds of lurid headlines and stories, so I will try to refrain. However together they enjoyed a good old gang banger (nope, couldn't do it) in week 3, after both managers claimed the season's best score so far of 61, a solitary point more than Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon. Thank god Paul didn't score 61 as well, is all I can say.

Goonersmoan kept up their great start by scoring 58, as did Hannoi Utd (54) and 2Infinity & Beyond (56). Steve Black's Guinness and eggs also performed cracking in a half century.

The week's lowest score was Mark Simmons' Champions, probably because his team contains 11 players who all happened to be in Monaco at the time!

Ready & Rutts top but Simmo bottom

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
Ready's Hannoi Utd join Rutt's Arsenal laden Goonersmoan at the top of the N&R FL. Ready cashed in large in week 3 and moved up from 18th place. Brian made even a bigger leap up from 23rd.

Behind the big two fellas is low and behold the current champ, Pk, and his Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon. He is joint 4th with Andy Murray look-e-like Lee Baughan. Sweaty Palms had a wonder week, and what odds do other managers give me on Lee finishing bottom?

The three most consistent teams in this embryonic season are Gooner Win League, Glasgow Kiss and Beaver Ruin, and they occupy 5th and 6th. Next up are two other previous winners Ryan Saveall and Barry Plummer. Sizzling Saveloys Bangers and 2Infinity & beyond sandwich Aaron's Torres Rosso.

At the bottom, Dave's Curbishley is s**t are off the bottom - Dave if you want to change your team name to Curbishley is s****d, or Zola is s**t, then just let us know! The big news is that Mark Simmons' Champions currently sit in bottom and 55th place - probably we'd expect the first time that has ever happened.

Road to Wembley - Jet Power

The super Jets brushed Ilford to one side in Saturday's Preliminary Round by knocking in another 5 goals. 93 people saw the home side were quick off the mark and found themselves two goals up within 16 minutes.

The superior movement of Jets' front pairing was too much for Ilford anadvice cost Ilford dear. Lee Grace knocked the ball into the area, Paul Turner won the near post header and the ball fell to TIM O'MARA on the far post who stabbed home the opener. The 2nd came when Tim O’Mara turned provider, breaking the offside trap when running onto a through ball from Paul Turner, then drawing the keeper and defender before squaring for JAMIE ARTHUR to tap into an empty net.

The Essex boys did have some good spells of possession but just after the break Jets made it game over when PAUL TURNER finished off a Lee Grace cross at the back post.

Ilford pulled one back through a THOMAS header. But Oxhey booked their place when Tim O’Mara went clear on the right wing with a through ball from Nathan Roberts and, in a copy cat move to the 2nd goal, drew the Ilford defenders before squaring for JAMIE ARTHUR to put away his second of the game and nail the game.

4-1 up but the best was still to come. Jets took the opportunity for substitutions, and on came club 'Legend' GARY PAGE and his ten minute appearance chance was not going to pass without a goal and, after rounding three defenders, he squeezed home a shot between the ‘keeper and the goalpost to make it a day not to forget.

Ilford scored a consolation goal in stoppage time to make the final score 5-2.

The Jets now host one of my old local teams Dulwich Hamlet in the next round.

Rant over

You know I've always been in the not bothered camp when it comes to Curbishley. Yes he gave me one of the most joyous days of my life, and he did sign a book for me once for my son, trouble was I ended up reading it. There is no doubting his legendary Charlton status and deservedly so, but all that "I am a lifelong West Ham fan praps, praps" got on my wick a bit to be quite honest.

As for Kevin Keegan, as a young 'un I used to run around the back garden pretending to be both Steve Heighway and King Kev (without the perm), he was the dogs' wasn't he? But that was before I was introduced to one Paddy Powell and Killer Hales.

And despite one being from Mars and the other from Venus in football terms, the two men today probably unknowingly locked arms and gave a collective middle finger to the arse holes who now run our football clubs. And bloody hats off to King Kev and Curbs too.

Newcastle United is nothing short of a tragedy, Shakespeare if he was around today would be writing their matchday programme. West Ham of course, dare we forget is more of an academy than a tragedy but a clever anagrammatist would take but a few seconds to create the same sorry thing.

Once upon a time I would've been laughing my head off at the antics these last few days. Citeh fans wearing keffiyeh's and daydreaming of pre-season tours in the Persian Gulf, Geordies demonstrating on steps outside St James' wearing, well a short sleeved 1980's black and white football top, what else would they be wearing? And the happy Hammers puffing their chests out dreaming of World Cup victories and Trevor Brooking headers but not realising that some Icelandic nobody has leveraged their famous club up to the hilt.

But I am not laughing because the game that we all love and grew up on is no longer our game. These megalomaniac's don't care about us or our communities, the managers who we either boo or sing their name depending on the scoreline no longer hold any power in our football clubs and players, who are paid twice the annual average wage in one week, have the cheek to kiss the badge of the team that we love and think that they are one of us. Well fuck them.

Let them, their debt and their Arabs all poodle off to a European League and play in front of empty seats and empty dreams. Take Sky with them and their badge and arse kissing and the rest of us will do our best to cope without them.