Sav and Danny tied at the top

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 41 Update

Whilst the main title looks like already being decided in The Losers Plate everything hangs on the final game of the season.

Sizzling Saveloys and Arsene Knows are tied at the top on 1,251 with Gerrardinho in 3rd just 9 behind the two leaders. Then in 4th surging up on the outside lane after a fantastic week 40 17 points adrift.

Sav has led the Plate for 8 weeks but it was the first time the experienced fantasy manager Danny has made the summit but they would be wrong to ignore Razor in 3rd place. Current champion, Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon may just have too much to do but he will be desperate to grab some prize money.

Hannoi Utd moved into 6th, and Lovejoy jumped two places to 8th as the other managers fight for pride and final places. Talking of which Mark Simmons' World Champions fell 6 places after winning MoW last week.

The No Hopers are in the penultimate place, as they have been for a few months now, and Michael looks almost certain of the prize there.

Ex Champ waits 41 weeks to regain form

Breaking News 8888888 Week 41 News
Surprisingly week 40 was reigning Champion Pk's first MoW award. A fiver then for the Tallywacker's Bukakke Marathon manager after a 43 point score. The Pohutakawas came in second with 36 and Soozie's Succulent Sausages, Team GB and Megan & Hannah's bears joint third with 33 points.

Prize chasers Towels on the bench, Glasgow kiss, Bollocks to insurance, Hannoi Utd and Gerrardinho all had excellent weeks. Ginger Rapids continued their fine end of season form too.

Gooner win league had a steady week in 14th place with 27 points that may well be enough to see him over the finish line as the new N&R FL Champion.

Good weeks also for Sheron's ready to fac, St Mirnoff, Dynamo Kebab and Lovejoy.

The penultimate week of the season's lowest score was just 2 points from In Tatters, a season low for Nige.

Road to Wembley - Blues is the colour

Chelsea, who we have followed through six rounds of the FA Cup, lifted the famous trophy at Wembley today beating Everton 2-1.

The Toffees had made a dream start when LOUIS SAHA put them ahead after just 25 seconds - the quickest goal in Cup final history.

But Chelsea came back strongly and equalised through DIDIER DROGBA'S header before FRANK LAMPARD fired home the winner from 25 yards with 18 minutes left.

The margin of victory should have been greater as TV replays showed that Florent Malouda's spectacular strike moments later had crossed the line after bouncing down off the bar, but referee Howard Webb did not give the goal.

In the end it made no difference to Chelsea, or Gus Hiddink, who deservedly has a trophy to show for the impressive work he has done at Stamford Bridge as he returns to his job with Russia.

Victory at a sweltering Wembley brings to an end the Dutchman's brief love affair with the Blues, which began when he watched from the stands as they beat Watford in the fifth round on Valentine's Day.

Gus Hiddink: "It was one of the biggest achievements of my career, winning in the Mecca of world football," said Hiddink. The FA Cup is something you truly cannot believe."

David Moyes: "We deserved to be in the final because the players performed ever so well throughout the season, but we found Chelsea a hurdle too much. They were the better team and used the conditions better than we did."

Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Alex, Terry, Ashley Cole, Essien (Ballack 61), Mikel, Lampard, Anelka, Drogba, Malouda.
Subs Not Used: Hilario, Ivanovic, Di Santo, Kalou, Belletti, Mancienne.
Att: 89,391

The N&R Road to Wembley

Below is our full Road to Wembley starting in early August with little Oxhey Jets in Hertfordshire. They took us into the 1st Round proper, when Dulwich Hamlet and their famous pink shirts took the mantle for a round before losing to Hendon, who play in the shadow of Wembley Stadium.

AFC Telford, who were only reformed in 2005 beat Hendon, had a game abandoned (one of three they had this season!) at Northwich Victoria before losing to League One Southend, but only after a replay. AFC Telford were surprise winners of the Setanta Shield (The Conference League Cup) later in the season however.

Sarfend United beat poor Luton in the 2nd round and got a plum tie at Stamford Bridge in the 3rd. A last minute Peter Clark goal at Chelsea earnt the Shrimpers a replay and they even had the audacity to take the lead before the Blues whalloped in 4 goals to progress into the 4th Round as our team on the Road to Wembley.

And then Chelsea who became just our 6th and final team beat Ipswich, Watford and Coventry to make it to the semi-finals and despite going a goal down to Arsenal, deserved to win and now face Everton in the Final on Saturday.

Extra Preliminary Round
Oxhey Jets FC 5-0 Hertford. Attendance 58

Preliminary Round
Oxhey Jets FC 5-0 Ilford. Attendance 93

1st Round Qualifier
Oxhey Jets FC 1-5 Dulwich Hamlet. Attendance

2nd Round Qualifier
Dulwich Hamlet 1-2 Hendon. Attendance 353

3rd Round Qualifier
Hendon 1-2 AFC Telford. Attendance 377

4th Round Qualifier
Northwich Victoria 0-3 AFC Telford. Attendance 1,003

1st Round Proper
AFC Telford 2-2 Southend United. Attendance 3,631

1st Round Replay
Southend United 2-0 AFC Telford. Attendance 4,415

2nd Round
Southend United 3-1 Luton Town. Attendance 4,111

3rd Round
Chelsea 1-1 Southend United. Attendance 40,090

3rd Round Replay
Southend United 1-4 Chelsea. Attendance 11,314

4th Round
Chelsea 3-0 Ipswich Town. Attendance 41,137

5th Round
Watford 1-3 Chelsea. Attendance 16,851

6th Round
Coventry 0-2 Chelsea. Attendance 31,407

Semi-Final
Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (at Wembley). Attendance 88,103

Final
Chelsea v Everton (at Wembley)

Bermuda Triangle

Yesterday was my court appearance for my speeding offence in March. Now whilst it is a complete waste of tax payers money that every traffic offence has to go to the Magistrates Court, I'd actually pay $210 every couple of weeks, if I could afford it, to go along and listen to some of the cases. It was flipping hilarious.

The Magistrates Court is a non-distinguishable building in Hamilton near the House of Parliament and Police HQ. In fact I met a bloke who used to work for our company beforehand. He got sacked from our place but is now a copper. I don't think he got sacked for nicking staplers or anything, so good luck to him and I hope it is him that stops me for speeding next time. For the record this time I was doing 57kph in a 35kph zone.

Anyway we were all shoved into a waiting room and the funniest thing was being joined by our HR Manager, who was done for no tax or insurance. After being led into court I sat and listened to the crimes and punishments. Most pleaded guilty and went off to pay the cashier handily placed outside Court No.3.

One woman meanwhile who was accused of giving false information to a member of the Bermuda Police Force said that she was only joking. "Do you often joke with members of the constabulary." asked the Judge. "Yes, when they are my brother's friends m'lud."

Another chap, dressed in motor oil and sweat told the Judge that he was unable to accept the 5 demerit points as he never had a driving licence. This didn't seem to faze the Judge, who after some consideration waived the points but insisted that the $300 fine be paid within 7 days. Quite peculiar.

I was flummoxed by the amount of kids in court (you can ride a moped at 16), one young lad stood in the dock in his uniform complete with a prefect's badge and told the Judge he was speeding because his Mama had rung him at school to tell him his Grandmother had died and was 'racing' to get home. The Judge looked up, "sorry about your Grandmother," he paused. "Guilty, $300 fine." I saw him outside smirking and got the impression Stephen Ireland may have been his brief!

Then my time came. I stood, acknowledged my guilt, abolished the idea of explaining my haste, and walked away with a $210 fine and 5 demerit points, a system that no one I talk to understands. The scary bit is that the Judge gives you an option when he declares your punishment of either a fine or jail time.

The judge said to me "21 days in prison or $210 fine?" My parents are over at the moment for 3 weeks, so I did consider jail briefly but decided on the fine and went out to pay the Cashier, who was sat eating a sandwich and texting at the same time. "Are you having a nice day?" she asked.

Tony Kempster

Tony Kempster's staggeringly illuminating website has been one of my favourite links since way before Chicago Addick began life. If you have never looked through it, then you have never lived. Every single fixture, result, attendance and table can be found all the way down through the English, Scottish and Welsh pyramids of association football including the Channel Islands. Maps and intricate details of promotion and relegations from every league allow me and other football anoraks the world over to wallow in trivia, intelligence and data, particularly on non-league football for absolute hours. The site is frankly genius.

Sadly I was wading through there the other day and only noticed for the first time the banner running across the top of the home page saying "Due to my deteriorating health, this site will be frozen at the end of the 08/09 season."

I had read elsewhere that Tony was diagnosed with cancer last year but was responding well to treatment, but it now appears sadly that this football website luminary is rapidly succumbing to this awful disease. His latest post on his blog says simply "as I expected, the tumour on my liver has shown significant growth. It is now deteriorating quite quickly and the consultant told me that it is very unlikely that I will survive into 2010. In fact, it will probably be sooner than that."

Shocking news for a man not yet 60-years old. I hope he is surrounded by people that he loves and is living his life to the full. And I hope he is very, very proud of what he has achieved and the pleasure he has given football lovers everywhere. My thoughts go out to him and his family.

Photograph of the week 1

Cheer up Alan Shearer, oh, what can it mean....

As a team that still proudly displays the name of Northern Rock on it's shirts fully 18 months after it failed, perhaps their Newcastle's fate was already effectively sealed. As twin tales of gross mismanagement, they'd be extremely hard to beat.

Photograph of the week 2

Champions of Scotland again. At one stage, Rangers were seven points adrift of holders Celtic - and written off in most quarters only to defy all the odds to triumph by four points as their city rivals stumbled to a home draw with Hearts. Gordon Strachan resigned shortly afterwards.

Photograph of the week 3

Burnley, who were one of the 12 original founders of the Football League in 1888, join the Premier League after Owen Coyle guided them into the top flight for the first time in 33 years with a 1-0 win over Sheffield United.

16 Champions League Facts & Figures

1) This will be the fourth time that the Stadio Olimpico has hosted a Champions League/European Cup final. Of the previous three finals to be held in this stadium, two have been won by English sides (both Liverpool) and two have needed penalties to find a winner, including one of Liverpool's wins.

2) Manchester United are the first defending champions to reach a final in the Champions League since Juventus in 1997.

3) United will be looking to become the first team to retain the title since Milan in 1990.

4) Four of the last seven finals have ended in penalty shootouts.

5) This is the fifth successive season that the Champions League final has involved an English side.

6)The last three Champions League finals have been lost by an English side.

7) United have won all of their previous finals - 4-1 v Benfica in 1967-68, 2-1 v Barcelona in 1990/91 (Cup Winners' Cup), 2-1 v Bayern in 1998-99 and they won on penalties against Chelsea last term following a 1-1 draw.

8) The last time that Barcelona reached a Champions League final, they defeated an English side (Arsenal) to lift the trophy.

9) Barcelona have only managed to win once in their last eight Champions League fixtures against an English side.

10) United are unbeaten in their last seven Champions League meetings with Spanish sides.

11) Manchester United are currently on an all-time record 25 game unbeaten run in the Champions League.

12) Lionel Messi is the leading scorer in this season's Champions League, with eight goals to his name.

13) Barcelona have scored more goals (30) and shots (165) than any other side in the competition.

14) Xavi has managed more assists (6) and has created more chances (36) than any other player in the Champions League this season so far.

15) Edwin Van der Sar has kept more clean sheets than any other goalkeeper in the Champions League this season - seven.

16) Pep Guardiola can become only the third person to win the Champions League as a player and a manager of the same team. Miguel Munoz (Real Madrid) and Carlo Ancelotti (Milan) are the two previous individuals to accomplish this feat.

Click here for a full preview of Wednesday's game.

Team Challenge - RSA and Willis battle it out

You know I could make a Scottish 3rd Division match sound exciting, but in the N&R Team Challenge Trophy we have real excitement as RSA's joint Mexican and English connection have overtaken the Willis threesome to lead with just 2 weeks remaining. By an average of 6 points Greg and Leigh have one hand on the trophy and with the 2006/07 winners Bluefin a long way back in 3rd, we are looking at a dramatic finish to the season.

In 4th are QBE, with the Aon Re mob still in 5th but up to 6th climb the Lloyds guys, with Danny, Razor, Panzo all flying high in the Plate.

7th are AIG, up a place with Aon US jumping two places to 8th. Nobby and Huw representing Aon International flop 3 places to 9th and Aspen fall a spot to 10th.

Price Forbes climb off the bottom and are replaced by Tom, Wayne and Pam at Ace. The table is attached to this week's scores email.

Not just a load of trash you know

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 40 Update
Unfairly labelled the also-rans. The Losers Plate is a way to keep some interest for those managers who have frankly been rubbish all season. There is prize money for the top 3 and for some unknown reason 33rd place too, currently occupied, as it has been for weeks, by Michael's The No-hopers.

The top 3 are actually pretty clear and aside from a real collection of points by Panzo, Pk's Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon, Bingo FC and Ready's Hannoi Utd, Sizzling Sav, Arsene Knows and Gerrardinho should share the spoils.

What is in question though is how those top 3 end up, with just 25 points separating them.

Can Neil hold his nerve?

Breaking News 8888888 Week 40 Grand Final Update
38 points is now the lead that Neil's Gooner win league have over the other 54 N&R fantasy teams. Can he keep his nerve? Can Godders' Bollocks to insurance pull something out of the bag? Will Kirsty's Glasgow kiss run our of weeks as she eats up the gap between her and the top two?

It will soon become clear, but Neil is giving himself the very best chance with another fine score in week 40. Kirsty is just 3 points behind Pete with Loads of Roubles looking to settle for 4th (after 3rd in 2008 and 7th in 2007). Boys on tour are in 5th (Greg finished 7th last season) and Towels on the bench, having their best season since 2002/03 remain in 6th.

Soozie, Champion 3 years ago, is in 7th just ahead of the boys from Chicago - Hot Pink Center, who have never finished out of the bottom 10. In 9th Guinness & eggs, who finished last season well and cotinued that into this and 10th spot lie ex-N&R Champ Barry and 2Infinity & beyond.

These are the top 10, but Elland (Glad) Back, Torres Rosso, Brighton Blues and Bent it like Bentley are still within touching distance.

Two weeks to go before all will become N&R FL history.

Hatrick for Simmo

Breaking News 8888888 Week 40 News
Mark Simmons' World Champions is made up of all Man United players so one would have thought that his team would be higher than 33rd in the overall league standings. I guess fantasy football doesn't work like that. However Mark did collect his 3rd MoW prize in week 40 after a 57 point haul, one more than Lovejoy's Lovelies who are still seeking their first weekly win. Guinness & eggs already have a couple of weekly fivers, and Steve ended week 40 with 54 points keeping him in the Grand Finale top 10.

League leader Gooner win league kept their noses in front with a very improtant 52, with Glasgow kiss earning the same score and giving everything she has to catch Neil up.

Megan's Nancy Lollygagers has struggled all season in the lower reaches but knocked in a fantastic 51 points, an opportune if not beleated time to make your best weekly score of the season! Shinawatras Dream is leaving it too late to make a run at the prize money, but Leigh can be pleased with his 51. Loads of Roubles scored 50, Boys in tour and Brighton Blues 49.

The week 40 low was by Glenn's Lamb to the slaughter, who scored 5.

Week 41 reminder

The final weekend of scores and the excitement was all at the relegation end of business.

All five bottom teams lost on the last day showing how shit they were. Sunderland lost at home to Chelsea but at least put up a battle. Richardson equalised Anelka's opening goal, then Kalou put The Blues ahead with Cole adding the third before Jones got a consolation for the Black Cats. However by then news of Boro and Newcastle's demise had The Stadium of Light in raptures.

Hull lost at home to Man Utd reserves 1-0, with Gibson scoring a stunning goal. But Hull stayed up and permatan man Phil Brown sung karoake on the pitch afterwards.

Middlesbrough lost at Upton Park 2-1. Gary O'Neil's 50th minute goal meaning nothing as Carlton Cole and youngster Stanislas getting the Hammers.

And finally dear old Newcastle dropped into the Championship amongst tears at Villa Park as their heroes succumbed meekly to Villa 1-0. Dunn scoring an o.g.

Already relegated West Brom drew 0-0 at Blackburn, Caicedo got Citeh's winner over Bolton. Fulham lost at home to Everton, Osman scoring twice, but still qualified for the Europa Cup, well done to Roy Hodgson.

Rodallega scored Wigan's winner over Pompey, in probably Steve Bruce's last game at he JJB as Wigan manager. Arsenal thrashed Stoke 4-1 at The Emirates and Liverpool stuffed Tottenham 3-1 to secure 2nd place.

Photograph of the week

Manchester United's 11th Premier League title, but for those of us that remembered football existed for over 100 years before Sky TV, it was United's 18th Championship, equalling that of rivals Liverpool.

What happens now

Pretty simple really. We have 3 weeks left.

Week 40 - Premier League results from last weekend.
Week 41 - Premier League results from the last games of the season this Sunday
Week 42 - FA Cup Final result from May 30th.

If you have any transfers, please make them - it could make all the difference. The deadline is every Tuesday at 5pm.

Good luck for the rest of the season.

Nobby & Ready

N&R Cup Semi-Final Results

N&R Cup Semi-Finals
Neil Reynolds 41 - 26 Danny Rose
Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy 42 - 14 Ian Kennett

The two favourites made it through to the N&R Cup Final to be played on the final weekend of Premier League fixtures, i.e. week 41. Despite some great results by both Danny and Ian in getting to the last four, the two remaining top tier managers squeezed past them to contest the final. Congratulations to Neil and Tom & Frank, who both came through 5 rounds of competition. The very best of luck to you both in the final, where a shiny trophy will greet the winner, and finally our commiserations to Ian and Danny.

N&R Cup Final to be held over week 41
Neil Reynolds v Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy

Two pints of Guinness and a boiled egg please

Breaking News 8888888 Week 39 News

Guinness & eggs 2nd MoW in 4 weeks and a score of 54 that puts Steve deeper into the top 10 after week 39. Boys on tour scored the next best with 53, Greg's best score for some weeks and Soozie kept up her very fine end of season form with a 48.

Elland (Glad) Back netted 46, the same as Brighton Blues who hit their best for 19 weeks. Hot Pink Center scored 42, the same as Bingo FC, Wardy's best for 8 weeks and Lovejoy.

Leader Gooner win league kept his nerve to score 41 and Ginger Rapids is finishing strongly too. Paris Eagles and Glasgow kiss neatly sat together on 40 points and Meghan & Hhannah's bears scored a 39.

The week's worse score belonged to Goonersmoan, with Brian hitting just 4.

In Gooners' hands

Breaking News 8888888 Week 39 Grand Final Update
Gooner win league are 30 points ahead in their first ever season, and are on course to emulate Ryan Saveall a couple of years before in winning the famous N&R title first time around.
Bollocks to insurance need to dig deep into all of their fantasy experience to add to their two titles, the last won though 11 years ago. Glasgow kiss may now be thinking of runners up or 3rd, hopefully Kirsty is still gunning for the top but below these three it is just one big dance for prize money.

Loads of Roubles lie 4th, Boys on tour 5th, Towels on the bench 6th and Soozies Succulent Sausages 7th. I would say down to 11th and Elland (Glad) Back - sorry about dirty Leeds mate, see you next season - all have a great chance of a top 7 finish.

A top 10 finish I reckon is wide open but probably only down to In Tatters in 17th.

Lucky 7

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 39 Update
13 points now separate Sizzling Saveloys Bangers from 2nd placed Arsene Knows with Gerrardinho in 3rd. 49 points lie between Razor and Bingo FC and I would say the top 3 is between these 7 managers. Razor climbed over Panzo in week 39 for 3rd spot.

Lower down Leigh's Shinawatras Dream moved up 3 places, Goonersmoan went in the opposite direction. Who are you calling big nose slipped too and Mono fell 5 places as these teams battle for only pride.

Just 8 teams are yet to make the 1,000 point barrier but the one prize on offer in the lower echelons of the N&R FL still rests with Michael's No Hopers happily snug in the Penultimate 54th place overall. Only a spurt from Cyril Smith it seems can disrupt The No Hopers.

Prem +

Shocker. Man U champions, Liverpool 2nd, Chelsea 3rd and Arsenal a full 11 points behind in 4th. Oh and Everton 5th - the only team in 8 years that have broken the top 4. Snooze.

Congratulations to United though and their many followers in the N&R FL. It was United's 18th league title, equalling Liverpool's record. 18 years ago they were 11 behind. Food for thought.

I have to mention Foolham though and the cracking job that Roy Hodgson has done. He was overlooked for every Premier League job after he got Blackburn to the UEFA Cup, and then was shortly after sacked in 1998. After Lawrie Sanchez spunked about 22 million, Hodgson came in, steadied the ship, kept them up and this year is on course to take Foolham to their best ever finish, and playing some good stuff too. A draw at home to Everton will guarantee that Europa Cup place.

Redknapp and Zola both deserve credit for top 10 finishes. Harry again proving his worth as one of England's best, if not the best man manager and Zola for restoring the faith in that occasionally great footballers don't always make crap managers.

Its hard to see Sparkie Hughes in the Citeh hotseat next year, their filthy rich owners will surely join the big name, win at all costs mentality. I am chuffed for Stoke, real passionate fans who must have enjoyed this season. Tony Pulis role in their success must not be overlooked, nor must Rory Delaps. The man with the humongous throw actually scored with one on Saturday. It was a shame they disallowed it.

For Wigan, Bolton, Blackburn and Portsmouth survival is success, especially at Fratton Park where under Tony Adams (see above Zola comments) Pompey appeared destined for relegation. Paul Hart, sacked by Rushden & Diamonds in late 2006, moved up from Youth coach and quietly without any fuss turned Pompey's fortunes around without Jermaine Defoe and Lassana Diarra, sold to balance the books.

If you've read this far, you will surely agree that most of the Premier League excitement belongs at the bottom. After West Brom's defeat to Liverpool, 4 teams are still in the battle to avoid the 2 remaining spots.

Sunderland need a point at home to Chelsea, defeat and wins for Hull and Newcastle will see them go down. The country meanwhile is riveted to the soap opera that is Newcastle United. Few outside of the city of Newcastle would shed a tear for one of the worst run clubs in the history of Association Football if they were to drop out of the top tier for the first time in 16 years. Watching the immaculate Shearer and the god ugly Dowie on the sidelines these past few weeks has been pure car crash TV, yet despite just one win in seven games under them both, a point at out of form Aston Villa could be enough to keep the Toon up.

This is all due to the total ineptitude of Hull City and permatan man Phil Brown. At the end of last December The Tigers looked to have cracked this Premier League lark, now 5 months after being in 5th place they stare relegation in the face.

Ever since Brown held a half-time team talk on the pitch, his self-importance grew, his tan got darker and he lost the players. For their stunned fans they have some terrific memories of some fine results but it's their tears the Sky cameras could be focusing on if they fail to beat the Champions on Sunday.

United will field a weakened (sic) side but a point you feel is the best they could hope for but with a crazed backing at the KC and with United minds elsewhere, Fergie may yet again contrive to stick the knife into Alan Shearer's career. Iain Dowie of course could do with a bit of surgery.

I have more time for Gareth Southgate but he, his players and the wide open gaps at The Riverside Saturday said it all and the Championship beckons unless they win well at Upton Park, and Hull and Newcastle lose.

Week 39 reminder

Saturday 9 May
Pedersen and a McCarthy penalty meant that Blackburn survived relegation at home to Pompey. Sunderland's goalless draw at the Reebok means that Ricky Sbragia's side are still right in the doo-doo. Everton and Spurs played out another score-less draw in a good week for goalkeepers.

Not for Robert Green though, as Gerrard twice and Babel scored against him at Upton Park. The baggies gave their fans some forlorn hope in their 3-1 victory over Wigan, who have given up. Fortune (2) and Brunt scoring.

Stoke beat Hull, who haven't won since Phil Brown found tan in a bottle and Murphy and Kamara twice helped Fulham to another fine win, this time over the Villa.

Sunday, 10 May 2009
Man Yoo saw off city rivals at a canter 2-0 with Ronaldo and Tevez scoring and later Chelsea thrashed Arsenal 4-1 proving the difference between top 3 and 4th perhaps. Alex, Anelka, a Toure o.g. and Malouda got the goals.

Monday 11 May
Newcastle gave the Loony Toons hope with a 3-1 win over rivals Middlesbro. Beye scored an o.g. but goals from Taylor, Martins and Lovenkrands gave Shear-rer his first win.

Tartan pride

Apologies to my Scottish friends but normally I pay as much attention to Scottish football than I do an early morning scratch. But hang on I've just checked the table and blow me down with a haggis but it's almost exciting. Not exciting in a four-way title race or anything or that East Fife have just beaten Forfar 5-4 or Queen of the South are romping away with the title but it is all down to the last day of the season. When was the last time that happened? Just looked it up.... it was last year and it was bloody close in 2004/05 too, the last time Rangers won it. Oh well.

The last time anyone won the Scottish title other than Rangers and Celtic? Aberdeen 25 years ago under Sir Alex Ferguson.

Rangers lead Celtic by 2 points and they need to win at Europa Cup seeking Dundee Utd to take the title back from Celtic's 4 year ownership. Celtic play already Europa cup qualified Hearts at Parkhead.

The relegation decisions also go to the last day. With St Mirren safe, it is between Falkirk and Inverness Caledonian Thistle who play each other at the impressive Tulloch Stadium on Saturday. Inverness only need to draw, but The Bairns of Falkirk have to win.

St Johnstone will take either Inverness or Falkirk's place in the SPL, bringing a return of top flight football to McDiarmid Park for the 2009–10 campaign, after a seven-year absence.

Entry Money

There are one or two of you that have still not yet paid. If you are one of those then Ready and I will soon do a sweep round to pick up outstanding money.

If you have think you haven't paid, please contact either Keith or I.

keith.read.2@bluefingroup.co.uk
simon_newport@agl.aon.com

2008/09 N&R Prize Money

The business end of the season. Despite the credit crunch and the banks going down the toilet, we will still, I repeat still be awarding prize monies for the season.

Yes I know you've paid your dues (well most of you have anyway) but put it this way.... because you work your arse of at work, that doesn't mean you get a pay rise now, does it? Quite.

So here goes:

The N&R Grand Final
Champion - 220 and the famous N&R FL trophy
Runner Up - 150
3rd place - 110
4th place - 85
5th place - 60
6th place - 50
7th place - 30
8th place - 20
9th place - 15
10th place - 10

The Losers Plate
Winner - 60
2nd Place - 40
3rd place - 30
27th place - 10

Others Prizes
N&R Cup Winner - Trophy
Benfleet Bet Winner - 25
Team Challenge winner - Team trophy
Best weekly score - 40
Worst weekly score - 40
7 x N&R Qualifying Group Winners - 25 each
40 x Manager of the week - 5 each, shared equally if tied.

*All denominations in GBP and will be converted to USD if applicable.
** Nobby and Ready will retain GBP 25 or USD 40 for next season's entry fee unless you state otherwise

N&R Quiz

Name the 3 famous footballers as babies? First to email me won't win a prize. Click on above to make bigger.

ANSWERS: Wayne Rooney, Stevie Gerrard and Thierry Henry

N&R Straw Poll - Swine Flu

I asked the question and you gave me your answers. All you had to was pick A), B), C) or D). Here are the votes:

A) Really worried and have bought a face mask
/ 0%
B) Slightly worried and avoiding Mexicans and Burritos
////////////////// 30%
C) Think the whole thing is BBC and CNN propganda
//////////////////// 35%
D) Not worried in the slightest and just been on Expedia to book a cheap holiay to Cancun.
///////////////// 30%
E) Other
/// 5%

A close one indeed. I agree that I should have added The Sun to the C), a few people requested that. Ian Kennett's answer was to avoid shagging pigs, for some of us I think that is probably too late. You know who you are? Rob.

Tim in Chicago asked me if this only relates to English pigs. I don't know but I much preferred the English back bacon to that you get in America, although there was once this brunette.....

Steve Black blamed Sven-Goran Erikkson but I will leave the last thoughts with James Down: "I held my breath in the lift with a Mexican builder on Wednesday. I was almost blue by the time we negotiated 17 floors. But, a question. Had I died from lack of oxygen from not breathing, would I have been listed as an official death due to Swine Flu?" Thoughts?

Photograph of the week

Ledley - calm yourself or you'll do yourself an injury. Ledley King has had a couple of sherberts and is about to get arrested.

Patrick Collins says

"The feeble excuses have been made and the bogus apologies have been mumbled. And, at the close of a shameful week, Chelsea Football Club await their punishment. Sadly, they appear confident of the outcome."

Read the full column here.

Team Challenge - Willis still ahead

The beauties and the beast. Willis' N&R FL team made up of fac brokers extraordinaire Sarah & Kirsty and M&A guru Ian Kennett still lead the chase for the Team Challenge Trophy after 38 weeks. They are 17 points ahead of 2nd placed RSA. In 3rd remain Ready and Sav's Bluefin.

4th place is QBE's effort led by new boy Chris, and up to 5th is the eight-man team of Aon Re. Aon International, a combined force of Nobby in Bermuda and Huw in Australia drop to 6th. Lloyds' collective efforts remain in 7th with AIG disappointing in 8th - Barry Paull leading the way for the team curry this year by the way.

In 9th are Aspen, up a spot with Aon US in 10th. Ace drop to 11th but are ahead of stragglers Price Forbes.

The latest Team Challenge Trophy table is attached to the week 38 scores email.

Sausage sandwich

Breaking News 8888888 Week 38 News

Last week it was Ryan, this week it's Sooz. A tenner from Nobby & Ready to help with the mortgage at Chez Sausage. Soozie collected her 3rd MoW win in week 38 after 53 points pipped league leader's Gooner win league by a single point.

Close behind were Hot Pink Center and Sheron's ready to fac showed she has still got the desire. Loads of Roubles knocked in a good score to keep alive their chances of a first ever title.

45 points was the score du jour for Arsene Knows, Paris Eagles (Barry's best for some while), Swine Flu stricken Boys on tour, Shinawatras Dream and just plain stricken Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon.

Week 38's lowest score? -1 from Pam's St Mirnoff, propelling her into the worst weekly score top 10!

One of four

Breaking News 8888888 Week 38 Grand Final Update
Gooner win league retain their lead, which is now 26 points. Can Godders' Bollocks to insurance come back? Glasgow kiss with Kirsty looking to become just the 2nd ever N&R FL female to win the title are still in the hunt. Maybe even Roubles can catch Neil?

Beyond these four though it looks like a battle for prize money and pride only. Soozie's sausages climb two places whilst 2Infinity & beyond slip up. Bent it like Bentley also fall out of the top 10 and Guinness & eggs move back in there.

Lower down Shay's The Pohutukawas make some ground.

Hannoi, Gooner, Shinawatra & Bingo give chase

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 38 Update
Saveloys Bangers still sizzling after the week 38 scores, 12 ahead of Arsene Knows firmly in 2nd place ahead of Panzo's Projectiles. Gerradinho lies in 4th, Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon in 5th.

Behind these Hannoi Utd still packs a punch as does Goonersmoan. Leigh's Shinawatras Dream climbed two places into 11th but maybe the one to watch is Wardy's Bingo FC who jumped to 7th.

At the non-business end of the table one normally find the managers more interested in their careers than fantasy football although Lee puts pay to that little myth! Cyril Smith remain bottom and the No Hopers remain in the Penultimate Prize.

Top 10 worst weekly scores

Pam Ross enters the worst weekly score list for the entire season, er.... congratulations Pam but it is complete No Hoper, Michael still still leads.

Top 10 worst weekly scores:
1. Michael Stout, -3 points, week 31
2. Ben Graves, -2 points, week 32
3= Mark Simmons, -1 point, week 31
3= Alex Byatt, -1 point, week 27
3= Pam Ross, -1 point, week 38
6= Mark Simmons, 0 points, week 29
6= Michael Stout, 0 points, week 29
8= Mark Simmons, 1 point, week 5
8= Mark Wenman, 1 point, week 15
10= Ian Monahan, 2 points, week 22
10= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 18
10= Danny Matthews, 2 points, week 5
10= Mark Dewberry, 2 points, week 19
10= Jason Syrett, 2 points, week 27
10= Huw Thomas, 2 points, week 27
10= Peter Doyle, 2 points, week 30
10= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 31

N&R Cup Semi-Final draw

Live from the casting couch in my rather large office overlooking the sea.... stop it luv.... draw the blinds first won't ya..... Ooh. Sorry, where was I? Oh yep. First ball out of the bag.....

Neil Reynolds v Danny Rose
Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy v Ian Kennett

So the big two stay apart, a couple of exciting ties though I think you'll agree? Points from this weekend's games, i.e. week 38 to count only. Winners will contest the N&R Cup Final on week 41.

Right, off to the pub. Put them away luv, lets go....

N&R Cup 4th Round Results

The quarter finals took place last weekend.

With the Cup competition being congested into the latter part of the season, it has turned more into contest of the most in-form teams in our League, which if nothing else gives us an insight to whom the late challengers might be in the run up to the prize giving. A nice shiny trophy will be rewarded to the winner of the N&R Cup at the annual end of season drinkies. Now for the results:

N&R Cup 4th Rd Results:
Danny Matthews 35 - 37 Ian Kennett
Neil Reynolds 52 - 37 Ben Graves
Danny Rose 45 - 20 Mark Wenman
Paul Hargis 25 - 45 Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy

The two favourites, well one favourite Neil Reynolds and one favorite, Tim & Frank both came through unscathed to reach the N&R Cup Semi-Finals. Neil beat off rival Ben Graves and Tim & Frank overcame big giantslayer Paul Hargis. Sorry Paul, it was a great run.

In the closest tie Ian Kennett beat Danny Chong Matthews 37-35, and the fourth memeber of the final 4 will be Danny Rose who comfortably beat Wenners 45-20.

The draw for the N&R Cup Semi-Finals will be made in a minute when everyone goes home and know one will be wondering what I am doing with this big hat on my desk....

Photograph of the week

Arsenal fans look away now. Ronaldo and Manchester United produced a virtuoso display to remain on course to become the first team to retain the Champions League, aand destroyed Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger's dream of winning his first European trophy.

The real thing

Time for a Coca Cola recap what with the season over and the play-offs imminent.

In The Championship the bookies may well have given you quite good odds on Charlton, Southampton and Norwich going down. Addicks, Saints and Canary fans might be less surprised to have seen it happen. Each have gone through mangers like Andrews Salts and have frankly been on the downward spiral for somewhile. Nevertheless it is a tragedy for each club, despite it's well worn path - Leeds, Leicester, Forest, Sheffield Wednesday have all trodden it. I took some, well a weeny bit of comfort from our last 10 games. We beat both Norwich and Southampton in that time and drew with Reading, Preston and Birmingham. I still hope Phil Parkinson goes, I wonder if Wotte and Gunn will stay? But then again each one of these clubs needs some stability right now.

At the top Wolves and Birmingham have been in the top 3 all season and both got promoted. I think Wolves deserved it, they scored a lot of goals. Birmingham never impressed me when I saw them despite a so called array of talent, even though one of them was a wanker called Marcus Bent. Reading really blew it and Sheffield United have come good at the right time. If Reading don't go up I see trouble for them next season. I like Preston's chances too. For Martin I want them to win the play-offs.

My early season tips outside the three relegated club (Derby finished 18th) were Cardiff, who must be kicking themselves to lose out by one goal - remember the 6-0 thrashing at Deepdale? And wait for it.... Norwich!

In League One, oh balls let's just call it Division 3 shall we Bazza's? Leicester stormed it, losing just 4 games and Matt Fryatt scoring 31 goals (I think he got 2 last season). Darren Ferguson's Peterborough joined them after their 2nd consecutive promotion. A fantastic achievement and Fergie Jnr has put together an exciting team at London Road. They may well struggle though at a level higher just like lesser-lights Colchester, Blackpool, Barnsley and Scunthorpe have all done recently.

In the play-offs go MK Dons, who still leave a nasty taste in my mouth after what Pete Winkelman and others did to the people of Wimbledon, Scunthorpe, mighty Millwall and dirty Leeds. What a couple of nice evenings they will be in West Yorkshire and Bermondsey. I haven't forgotten the Millwall v Birmingham play-off game in 2002. MK Dons are the form side and this is a tough one. I'll plump for Millwall because they always have this habit of doing well in the massive games under an intense atmosphere (sorry Rob). If the Lions were playing one of the other two in the semi's I would say they'd go out.

At the bottom Hereford have been shocking for the entire season. They won just 1 of their first 12 league games and they go back to whence they came with Peterborough last season. Cheltenham drop as well and poor Crewe, who continue to fight above their weight and try to play football. And then on the last day as Carlisle and Brighton stayed up by winning on the final day it was Northampton, the Cobblers who sunk.

In the 4th Division, congratulations to title winners Andy Scott (below) and his Brentford team. Scott has done a wonderful job at Griffin Park, the only ground in the country with a pub on each corner. Exeter City join the Bees, who only came up from the Conference last season via the play-off's. Fantastic effort. Just think Charlton and Exeter were separated by 4 divisions two years ago and now they will meet next season. Gulp!

Wycombe crawled over the finish line with Peter Taylor's team gaining promotion over Bury by 1 goal. In the play-offs go Bury then, Gillingham, Rochdale and Shrewsbury.

Rochdale are on the worst run of form but I'd love them to go up. They have spent the last 35 years in the lowest tier of English football. Not once promoted, not once relegated. They lost in last year's play-off final to Stockport County. 35 years, since 1975 - can you imagine that?

Gillingham would provide a Kent derby for Charlton but I don't care much for them. I'll go for a Shrewsbury v Rochdale final and more heartache for the Dale, Neil Cryer and Cyril Smith.

Bournemouth and Rotherham all survived their point deductions, in fact Rotherham, who play their games in Sheffield would have just missed out by 1 point on automatic promotion. Luton fared less better and it was both unjust and ridiculous that they had to start the season with a 30-point deduction. They were effectively relegated before a ball was kicked and they go out of the league for the first time in 89 years. The Hatters did however win the Paint Pot Cup.

Chester joined them, and they have long been a basket case under ex-Liverpool defender Mark Wright. They lost more games than anyone else in the league and let in more goals. The Conference is a tough league to get out off, although the Seals did come back up from their last relegation in 2004.

In the Conference after Nigel Clough left Burton, Roy McFarland guided the Brewers into the League.... just and Cambridge United will play Torquay in the play-off finals. My inherited boys Eastbourne Borough had a fantastic first season at this level finishing 13th. Arch rivals Lewes (sorry Mutley) finished bottom and went back down.

Photograph of the week

I know you Palarse fans will not be happy at the sight of this but I was. Brighton's win means my lot will still be able to play Brighton next season in Div 3. Nicky Forster got the all important winner in the 75th minute at home to Stockport on Saturday to cheer Messrs France and Long.

Road to Wembley - Wemberlee

Wemberlee, we'll be running round Wembley with our willy's hanging out.... No?

So Chelsea overcome Arsenal in the semi's to make it through to the final where they will play Everton, who last won the FA Cup in 1995.

Drogba was the hero for Chelsea came from behind to beat Arsenal 2-1. DIDLIER DROGBA'S 84th-minute winner was struck at the end of a poor semi-final when he beat Arsenal goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski to Frank Lampard's long ball and rolled the ball home.

The Gunners had taken an early lead through THEO WALCOTT'S deflected shot but had struggled to live with Chelsea from that moment.

FLORENT MALOUDA levelled before half-time with a low shot that beat Fabianski at his near post and, although the Gunners dug in after the break, Chelsea probably deserved their victory and a return to Wembley in the final on 30 May.

Oi, Oi Saveloy!

Breaking News 8888888 Week 37 News
80 points for Sav in week 37, the best score in the N&R FL for 7 weeks. Saveloy's sizzling bangers first MoW award and it strengthens his lead at the top of the Plate table. Team GB has had few mentions this season, but I'll mention him this week because Mark scored 78, a season best for him. Title challenger Bent it like Bentley scored well with 77, two more than Panzo's Projectiles who made their challenge felt in the Plate table.

Form manager Paul Hargis and his Real Ale Madrid scored 75, the fourth time he has hit 70+ this season. His league form has been poor and inconsistent but it is in the N&R Cup that Paul is saving his best form. Glasgow Kiss is still very much in with a big chance of becoming the 2nd female N&R Champion, she and Mono's Cunning Plan scored 70pts.

64 for Arsene Knows, still in the hunt for prize money, and clearly Gooner win league are very definitely in the hunt for prizes. Neil and Guinness & eggs both whalloped over 60.

Dangleberry, Hot Pink Center and World Champions all scored 59. Mark's best score since he swept to MoW in week 25. An important 58 for Towels on the bench and Hannoi Utd and 57 for Elland (Glad) Back and Team Chong.

Week 37's worst score? A very respectable 22 from Doyley's Ginger Rapids.

Neil back in front but Kirsty closer

Breaking News 8888888 Week 37 Grand Final Update
A huge week for Neil's Gooner win league as they go back to the top of the table following a 15 point weekly advantage over Bollocks to Insurance who go back to 2nd. Glasgow kiss is now only 15 points behind Godders after a fine week 37. 4th and 5th Loads of roubles and Boys on tour stay unchanged. But Towels on the bench and 2Infinity & beyond swap places.

Bent it like Bentley appear in the top 1o for the first time since the group stages. Guinness and eggs drop out. Elland (Glad) Back move up 5 places and are now 12th, whilst Student Ninjas fall to 16th.

Sheron's ready to fac and Preston Pie Munchers are starting to get a little adrift in 20th and 21st.

Bang on

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 37 Update
Ryan Saveall won his first MoW fiver and his Bangers moved 30 points clear at the top of the Plate table. In second remains Arsene Knows but from almost nowhere Panzo Projectiles join them in the top 3. Gerrardinho falls to 4th and Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon drops to 5th.

Up 2 places into 7th is my stablemate Ready and Hannoi Utd. Ones to watch lower down are Dangleberry Rovers now in 10th and Mono's cunning plan. Ian hurdles 7 teams to 11th and is certainly one to watch.

The No hopers stay in the Penultimate place, yes we give a small prize for this, and no we don't know why either! Rochdale's two finest men Neil Cryer and Cyril Smith share the embarrassment of last of our 55 managers.

Week 37 reminder

A lot of points to play for in week 37.

Wednesday 22nd April
Chelsea were held at home to Everton in a rehearsal of the FA Cup Final 0-0 to put an end to their title hopes. Man Yoo meanwhile comfortably beat Pompey at the OT 2-0.

Saturday 25th April
Man Yoo were 2-0 down at home to Spurs at half time but a very dodgy pen and 4 other goals gave the title holders a massive win to stay in the driving seat. Man C won away at Goodison 2-1. Goals from Robinho and Ireland. Nevland scored for Foolham who continued their superb season over Stoke. Liverpool won 3-1 at 'Ull, who are looking over their shoulders very nervously.

Chelsea won at Upton Park, after a 2nd half goal by Kalou. WBA had a nice 3-0 victory over Sunderland and Bolton and Villa drew 1-1.

Sunday 26th April
2-0 home wins for Arsenal over desperate Boro and Blackburn over Wigan.

Monday 27th April
Newcastle and Pompey shared the points at St James'. Was a point enough for the Toon?

N&R Cup 4th Round Draw

These games are coming thick and fast. Round 4 of the N&R Cup kicks off this weekend (week 38). The last 8 is full of surprises and here is the draw:

Danny Matthews v Ian Kennett
Neil Reynolds v Ben Graves
Danny Rose v Mark Wenman
Paul Hargis v Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy

So Tim & Frank stay apart from fellow top tier manager Neil, who plays Ben Graves in another Aon derby. Giantkiller Paul Hargis will play the guys from Chicago. Wenners takes on Danny Rose, two of our most experienced fantasy players and Danny Matthews hosts Ian Kennett.

Ties to be played this weekend, week 38.

N&R Cup 3rd Rd Results

A couple of cracking games during last week's N&R Cup 3rd Round. Paul Hargis continued his fantastic run in the competition. After knocking out Greg Foulger after a replay Paul then went to Kirsty Baillie and beat her in an amazing tie 72-70. Paul is 43 places behind Kirsty in the table!

Then in other shocks Danny Matthews overcome Chris Wright 57-25, Mark Wenman beat Rob Munden 78-57 and Ian Kennett edged past Aaron Barden by 2pts. In the tie of the round the Plate's Danny Rose knocked out the Grand Final's Barry Plummer to progress to the 4th Round.

Frank and Tim had a fine win over Simon Ward and remain our final Americans in the competition. Ben Graves beat Leigh Langton 59-29 and finally league leader and Cup favourite Neil Reynolds defeated Alex Byatt. The full round up of scores is here:

N&R Cup 3rd Round Results
Danny Rose 64 - 43 Barry Plummer
Danny Matthews 57 - 25 Chris Wright
Kirsty Baillie 70 - 72 Paul Hargis
Ian Kennett 46 - 44 Aaron Barden
Mark Wenman 78 - 57 Rob Munden
Alex Byatt 33 - 63 Neil Reynolds
Simon Ward 36 - 59 Tim Feldbruegge & Frank Malloy
Leigh Langton 29 - 59 Ben Graves

Amazingly only 2 managers have made the last 8 of the N&R Cup that play in the N&R first tier - Neil Reynolds and Frank & Tim. If they can avoid each other in the 4th Round, they must be favourites to progress but then we have seen so many shocks so far.

Ben Graves, Ian Kennett, Danny Rose, Mark Wenman, Danny Matthews plus the lowly serial giantkiller Paul Hargis all play in tier 2. Congratulations guys and keep an eye out on the 4th Round draw.

Appointments

Steve Black late of Chicago parish and his very lovely missus have relocated to Atlanta, home of Mrs B and joined Glencoe Group. Steve is actually a big Barnsley fan (must be the chops), and will be hoping that either Charlton beat Norwich tomorrow or more likely The Tykes get a point at Plymouth.

Anyway mate, Chicago will miss you and the very best of luck in Atlanta from Nobby & Ready.