Rooney out

Tough titty for all of you that chose Wayne Rooney is your starting line ups. After Michael Duberry stood on his toe accidentially on Sunday, Rooney suffered a hairline fracture to his toe for the 3rd time in 3 years.

Congratulations to those of you that plumped for Carlos Tevez, as he now looks likely to see a lot more action over the next 8 weeks.

Remember the weekly deadline is Tuesday at 5pm GMT. Click here for all injury updates.

Kick off

The fantasy league season started for me on early Saturday morning, sorting through 54 entries and putting them into some semblance of order with a massive hangover. I was back in London this weekend and got horribly hammered Friday night and stayed at a friends place, who had tracing paper for curtains, so waking up with a cracking headache, jetlag and having to turn my laptop on hopefully proves to you that this N&R FL malarkey is not all as gamourous as you lot probably make out.

This season we will run two divisions, based on last season’s final places. All new entrants will have to start at the bottom and work their way up. We have 27 entries in Div 1 and 27 in Div 2, and we expect there will be a certain coming together of the best scoring sides at some time in the season, so we get the ultimate best manager.

There will also be the Nobby & Ready Team Challenge Trophy and 11 teams will contest that to have the honour of having a tacky trophy on their desks, engraved by the blind cobbler two blocks from where I live.

Of course we will have a weekly winner, i.e. the manager who hits the week’s best score over the two divisions and plenty of other goodies that Keith and I will dream up over the course of the next 9 months.

If can find the time I might resurrect the N&R Questionnaire, if only to get Rob Munden’s response to some rather embarrassing questions.

A big welcome back to the familiar names, some of which have been with us for 10 years and a warm welcome to a host of new faces this year, some actually quite attractive, but some quite ugly.

For those of you new to the most sought after insurance (and select hangers-on) fantasy league on the planet, it is on here, http://www.nobbyandready.blogspot.com/ that you will find all the news, stories and utter bollocks that this season’s N&R FL will bring.

Weekly scores will come out weekly, no shit Sherlock, or depending on how busy or drunk I am.

Every manager can make 12 transfers at any time, with no restrictions on how many players you can have from one club, just a maximum team value of 50million quid and a formation of either a 4-4-2 or a 4-4-3. The weekly deadline is Tuesday at 5pm GMT.

Just to help you lot of amateurs, and to prevent Ready and I sweeping up, on the right hand column of this web page you will find all kind of helpful links. Go on click on a few. Oh, and the top one is all about my rock star life as a Charlton fan and expatriated insurance broker living in Chicago, just in case you can’t sleep at night wondering what the heck I am up to.

That just leaves me to wish good luck to you all. Amongst other things this is a way for me to keep in touch with some old and new friends in London and the US, so please make it as interactive as possible. We have had over 5,000 visits to the blog, so please feel free to comment and I am such a girl when it comes to gossip, so don’t forget to include me on an email or just drop me a line once and a while.

Take care and enjoy the rest of the summer.
Nobby & Ready

Pay Up

If you have come by here, then you must be looking for payment.

Please either send my parents a cheque made out to me or drop it in my bank. Details as follows:

My parents address:
8 Paddock Gardens
Wannock
Polegate
E Sussex
BN26 5PW

My bank details:
Simon J Newport
NatWest
Sort Code
56 00 18
A/C no. 08164193

Or pass Ready the money owed. Thanks.

At last

Sorry this has taken so long to get out. I did most of it ages ago, but then had family in town and then I flew to London (was nice to see a few of the boys for a pint) and all along I planned to write a bit about each manager and never got around to it.

However, before the end of season drinks on Tuesday 24th July (see below for more details) I will give my very intelligent thoughts on all of your performances, and it won't all be complimentary!

Also on the 24th I will be giving out the prizes and will be collecting next years entry money. Next year by the way, anyone not paying within the first few weeks will get thrown out of the league, cos this is losing me money.

So, here it is.... the N&R FL 2006/07 final newsletter....

Enjoy, Nobs

The Declaration of Independence

So what did Americans do with their freedom, won from us Brits 231 years ago? How do they spend their precious national holiday? The answer is Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Whilst your normal American will consume 150 million hot dogs today, never failing to miss an oportunity for the 91st time the world's most famous hot dog eating contest, a status I imagine not that difficult to achieve, will take place later today. Last year 30,000 people actually attended the event, whilst incredibly, but this is America, another 1.5 million households watched legend unfold live on ESPN! Sorry, I get indigestion just watching someone on a bus eat a sandwich.

The competition is held in Coney Island in New York, which is the original home of the famous Nathan's hot dog stand and according to one lardy official the event is "rich with zeal and pageantry, the Nathan’s Famous International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest puts the basis of human endeavor on display for all the world." I am now officially scared and nope I have never had one either.

According to legend, on July 4th, 1916 four immigrants had a hot dog eating contest at Nathan's Famous stand in Coney Island to settle an argument about who was the most patriotic. After twelve minutes, James Mullen had eaten thirteen hot dogs and was crowned the victor. 13? Girl.

Now the event sponsored by Heinz attracts 'competitive eaters' from all over the world, well America and Japan anyway. Like most things these days the Japanese are dominant and only one Yank has won the competition since 1996. Sadly last year's winner Takeru Kobayashi is a late fitness doubt with a case of "creaky jaw." Last year Kobayashi ate 53¾ hot dogs and their buns in 12 minutes, a gut-busting record munch.

Only in America. July 4th, the day the Brits came to their senses!

Sav wins his Spurs

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 40 scores
58 points was like an ocean seperating Ryan's Savchenko Spurs from the competition as the N&R first timer became the league champion following in such fine footsteps as luminaries as Godders, Ready, Doyley, Plumms and Soozie.

Ryan ran a fine race, particularly in the last 5 weeks when he regained the lead from Barwick & Higgs. In the final week Sav scored 18 which was plenty and the young man will be presented to coveted trophy in person by Nobby & Ready at the annual gala prize evening (see elsewhere for details).

In 2nd was indeed Keith, whose Hannoi Utd crept up the table from mid-March. 2nd place is not bad from someone who ended the first half of the season with the 13th best score.

3rd remained the dream team of Barwick & Higgs, who continued their fine form last year and once again Flighty Feet were big cash winners. In 4th came fantasy stalwart Barry Paull, and his story was the most remarkable. NY Eagles were twice in the relegation zone, the last time as recent as March but they put a fantastic run to surge into title contention and eventually with 2 weeks before the end of the 40-week marathon got themselves into the top 7 for the first time and stayed 4th to win big.

Dewberry was another manager who dallied with relegation but also found some crazy form in the Spring to become a surprise package and it will certainly be an East Indian Summer for Dewbs who came 5th.

6th was another surprise - the lovely Kirsty and Glasgow kiss. Kirsty had a great first half of the season and took some great form (oo-er) in the N&R Premiership. She had a spring wobble (oo-er) but came good (oh, this is get ridiculous) to finish the job in 6th just 5 points ahead of a tied 7th.

Now I thought about goal difference or goals scored or best haircut or nickname to separate McGowan and Nathan, but heck they both have bad haircuts so I will give them both a prize.

Johnny Mc has been a constant underachiever so deserves his palace and as for Razor, it is totally beyond me that he managed to finish so high anyway. Therefore 7th place will be split between Roubles FC and Cristiano's Allstars.

The teams that missed out but had excellent seasons nevertheless are Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars and Christian Dailly Football Genius.

8 egg & spooned into Championship

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership relegation battle - week 40 scores
The relegation race was more of an egg and spoon than a 100m dash. Not much to report in the final weeks, a bit of jockeying for position to stave off some embarrassment in the boozer. You know Godders' I Still *ing Hate Chelsea got off the bottom, ex-champ 2Infinity & beyond moved up a bit but it will be Wizzis Wonders and #1 Strugglers who will kick themselves the most as both had fine first half of the season's and carried that forward initially into the Premiership but both Dave & Davor got sucked into the relegation mire and will drop a division next season.

Thieving Chelsea Gits, Lovejoys Lovies, Epping 'dog walking' club and Living in Sin were the great survivors. Rob, Alex, Paul and Brian both danced with the relegation devil but their Premiership status remains.

The Underwriting cop had the pleasure of finishing bottom 18 points adrift of Godders. The ever miserable Goonersmoan dropped as did the lovely Nut Meg in her first season, although she can be proud of her performance up until Christmas and rather surprisingly last season's 4th London Irish completed the jigsaw.

Missed tackle

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 40 scores
As expected Mark Simmons' Sven and Janas strolled across the finissh line and swept the N&R Championship title by 28 points. The next five all kept their places to achieve promotion. Bollocks to Ballack, Jonny Forskins and the Phullbacks, Thank You 4 The Daze and In Tatters all did enough to move up to the world of the N&R Premiership.

Then in 6th previous champion Soozie's Ping Pong held on after a wonderful last few weeks to go up as well, whilst Francey's Vote Seagulls Party also joined the party.

The drama came for the last place available with James Down's Massive Tackle missing out in the last week despite a half-decent week 40 score. James had been a fixture in the top 8 for 19 of the 21 weeks but will play his fantasy football in the Championship again next season.

The final 8th place was tied between Kennett's Incontentia B uttocks and Francis' Lamb to the slaughter, who were out of contention a few weeks back. Both will get promoted.

Behind James in 10th was Crown Jewells, who like Nobby's North of Crystal Palarse and Rose's Rovers all finished the season strongly but it wasn't enough.

Down at the bottom, Sweaty's Le Guen's Revolution picked up the wooden spoon and Boswell's Megan & Hannah's Bears comfortably walked away with the N&R penultimate prize award.

The Hall of Fame

Another season, another champion. Not since 1998 has a team retained this glorious trophy and Ryan will be hoping he can change that next year. His teammate Ready has come closer than most though and frankly puts me to shame!

This is the list of champions, with Ryan proudly the newest edition etched onto a famous list:

League Champions
2006/07 Savchenko Spurs - Ryan Saveall
2005/06 Ping Pong Yo-Yo - Suzie Syrett
2004/05 Ginger (not so) Athletic - Peter Doyle
2003/04 Chang Noi's Ham Yai - Keith Read
2002/03 2Infinity & Beyond - Barry Plummer
2001/02 Read 'em & weep - Keith Read
2000/01 Brighton Revenge - Jonathan Poole
1999/00 Cowboys Ride Again - Brett Davey
1998/99 Millennium Buggers - Richard Taylor
1997/98 Flo's Champs - Godfrey, Rose
1996/97 Flo's Army - Godfrey, Rose

In the Team event, Marsh had started to form a bit of a monopoly up until last year when the mighty AIG took their trophy to Fenchurch Street. However it was the turn of the brokers to reclaim the award in 2007 with Ryan, Ready and Huw leading Layton Blackham to the coveted title.

Team Challenge Winners
2006/07 Layton Blackham - Read, Saveall, Thomas
2005/06 AIG - Waterman, France, Dewberry, Barwick, Higgs, Ryan.
2004/05 Marsh - Simmons, Doyle
2003/04 Marsh - Simmons, Doyle
2002/03 Allianz - Jenkins, Day
2001/02 Avon - Godfrey, Rose
2000/01 HSBC - Waters, Murrell, Ready

Thank you

This is the emotional bit. I have always tried to put a lot of effort and fun into the things I do in my life. I've not always been successful but no one could ever knock me for not trying.

The N&R Fantasy league started in my head, probably with a beer in my hand, 11 years ago and effort and fun is what this has always been. It is time consuming and life and work takes up a lot of my time, but fortunately I have always tried to balance this with doing things for me, and particularly things that make me smile and which I enjoy.

The N&R FL is one of these and with help from various people and in particular Mark Simmons & my old partner Ready, the N&R FL has been a constant in my life and it has been a great way of keeping in touch with old mates, meeting new people and introducing stoopid Americans to the beautiful game.

Thanks for reading, calling and emailing - it makes it all worthwhile.

Have a great summer,
Nobby

Summer end of season / pre-season drinks

You are all cordially invited to a night of the stars on Tuesday 24th July when Messrs Nobster and Ready will hand out prizes, cash and one-liners. We will also be collecting next years entry money and will have no hesitation in deducting it from any prize money won this year.

The venue will be a change from previous years and will be outside The Lamb in Leadenhall Market.

Please put the date in your diaries and dress to impress. Reminders will be sent out nearer the scheduled time.

I will also plan to do drinks with the American participants and will soon send an email out seeking some dates for an afternoon of iced teas and dougnuts.

Team Challenge - Ready, Sav & Huw claim glory

Sav & Ready led Layton Blackham to victory in the N&R Team Challenge trophy and will get a delightful (?!) gleaming trophy for their broking team. Huw struggled in his first season, but the Welshman would be proud of his team mates who dominated the N&R Premiership finishing 1st & 2nd. Ryan Saveall doing the double for the first time in the history of the N&R.

In the runners up spot was the dream team of Willis' Kirsty Baillie & Ian Kennett, who probably don't even know each other - but believe me you could be twins! 3rd were last years winners, AIG. The team of 7 had a sterling season, with even Francey winning promotion. Who knows if Waterman wasn't out galivanting so much they may have made up those points to reclaim their title. Enjoy the curry team.

4th was Aon Re, who slipped back in recent weeks despite Johnny Mac's fine season. As did Aon USA, as Littig couldn't continue his super early season form. Nevertheless John was their star and Dougal too did his brethren proud.

In 6th were Wenners and Reddy, both having great ends to their seasons completing a double promotion. Congratulations to the BMS boys. Behind them in 7th stood Aspen, a disappointing season for Plummer saw him get relegated alongside Wizzo.

8th were the mighty Ex-Pats, who were apart from Bazza, all talk and no pants, sorry trousers. Longey did fantastic in his first season, helped admirably by his son Christian, but Nobby and Stouty let Queen and country down. In 9th were the eclectic Lloyds boys led by old Razor himself, Richard Nathan. 10th came twice winners Marsh. Ex-champ Ginger Rabbit was disappointing but Simmo swept to the N&R Champiosnhip title.

One off the bottom was the drunken RSA, used to be the drunken Allianz of course, where they actually won this title once and last and very least was JLT, where both Beere & Bird were shocking, although to be honest Birdy had his best season in all the time he has taken part in the N&R FL!

Thanks to everyone for taking part. Remember if you feel a bit lonely, ask a colleague to take part next season, and I promise I won't abuse them too much.

How the money & prizes were won

This is a list of how the 2006/7 prizes were won. Prizes will be paid by cheque in either GBP or USD, whatever exchange rate suits me and my accountant. Congratulations to all the winners and please note if you want me to keep the £25 or $50 to put against next season's entry money, then please advise.

Here is how the money was won:

The N&R Premiership
N&R FL Champion £200 + the much sought after N&R winners trophy
Ryan Saveall

Runner Up £140
Keith Read

3rd £100
Catherine Barwick & Karen Higgs

4th £80
Barry Paull

5th £60
Mark Dewberry

6th £50
Kirsty Baillie

Joint 7th £12.50 each
John McGowan & Richard Nathan

Relegation to The Championship
Davor Duvancic
Hilary Ryan
David Wisdom
Barry Plummer
Megan McLeod
Brian Rutter
Neil Cryer
Peter Godfrey

The N&R Championship*
Winner £100
Mark Simmons

Runner Up £70
Mark Wenman

3rd £50
Akshay Reddy

4th £30
Alan Oakley

5th £20
Nigel Tatlock

6th £10
Soozie Syrett

7th £10
Ian France

Joint 8th £5 each
Glenn Francis & Ian Kennett
*The top 8 clubs will be promoted to The Premiership

26th Penultimate Place Prize £10
Alex Boswell

N&R Team Challenge Trophy

Best weekly score $50
John Littig

Worst weekly score £8 each
Brian Rutter, Rob Beere & Huw Thomas

Serie A Champion £30
Catherine Barwick & Karen Higgs

Serie B Champion £30
Ryan Saveall

Manager of the week 40 weeks x £5 = £200
John Littig 3 wins, 1 shared $25
Kirsty Baillie 3 wins £15
David Wisdom 2 wins, 1 shared £12.50
Alex Byatt 1 win, 2 shared £10
Barry Paull 2 wins £10
Brian Rutter 2 wins £10
Richard Nathan 2 wins £10
Keith Read 2 wins £10
Rob Beere 2 wins £10
Soozie Syrett 2 wins £10
Ben Graves 1 win, 1 shared £7.50
Chris Waterman 1 win £5
Ian Kennett 1 win £5
Brian Dougal 1 win $10
Catherine Barwick & Karen Higgs £5
Aaron Bardon 1 win £5
Simon Jenkins 1 win £5
James Down 1 win £5
Alan Oakley 1 win £5
John Knouse & Nick Davies 1 win $10
Glenn Francis 1 win £5
Megan McLeod 1 shared $5
Barry Plummer 1 shared £2.50
Ryan Saveall 1 shared £2.50
Simon Newport 1 shared £1.60

Steve Jewell 1 shared £1.60

Mark Dewberry 1 shared £1.60

An amazing 37 cash winners. Congratulations again.

Best weekly score - Littig collects with 11-year high

I am pleased that John Littig won the Best weekly score prize. He's a nice boy, the sort that Mum's would approve. He knows bugger all about the beautiful game mind and somehow led the N&R title race for 6 weeks (yikes). However back in December he did something no one else has ever done and hit over 130 points in a week. There was eventually no prize money for John in the battle for the title but he did win $50 for the best weekly N&R FL score in its 11-year history.

2nd place James Down and 3rd Ben Graves also coincidently missed out on the big prize money with James finishing 10th in the Championship and Ben 10th in the Premiership. Just shows consistency is more important than being Billy Big Bollocks for just one week. Champion Ryan Saveall's best score was 95 points.

The top 10 best weekly scores:

1. John Littig, week 20, 132 points
2. James Down, week 25, 114 points
3. Ben Graves, week 20, 113 points
4. Mark Simmons, week 25, 109 points
5. Mark Dewberry, week 25, 107 points
6. Richard Nathan, week 25, 105 points
7. Barwick/Higgs, week 25, 103 points
8= Dave Wisdom, week 25, 102 points
8= Barry Paul, week 31, 102 points
10= Aaron Barden, week 25, 101 points
10= Brian Dougal, week 20, 101 points

Worst weekly score - embarrassing 3 way tie

It's embarrassing enough when 1 manager picks up the prize for the Worst weekly score, let alone 3. Rob, Rutts and Huw - hang your head in shame. You will share the £25 prize. Scant consolation for being rubbish, however even the champion had an off week.

And how many times did Michael Stout get himself on this list? It's not cool and it's not clever.

The top 20 season's worst weekly scores:

1= Rob Beere, week 7, 0 points
1= Brian Rutter, week 30, 0 points
1= Huw Thomas, week 30, 0 points
4= Danny Rose, week 30, 1 point
4= Michael Stout, week 30, 1 point
6= Rob Beere, week 28, 2 points
6= Soozie Syrett, week 30, 2 points
8. James Bird, week 24, 3 points
9= Brian Rutter, week 28, 4 points
9= Peter Godfrey, week 27, 4 points
9= Alex Boswell, week 30, 4 points
9= Michael Stout, week 39, 4 points
13= Ian France, week 27, 5 points
13= Ryan Saveall, week 24, 5 points
13= Shay Reddy, week 26, 5 points
13= James Down, week 37, 5 points
13= Paul Long, week 37, 5 points
18= Peter Doyle, week 28, 6 points
18= Danny Rose, week 28, 6 points
18= Michael Stout, week 38, 6 points

Lamb chops? That'll be lovely

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 40

I love that quote - Rutts planning out how beers he can have before he gets home to the Missus for dinner. I embellished the Lamb bit because it was Glenn Francis and Lamb to the slaughter that won the final MoW fiver after securing promtion after scoring 28 points from the awful FA Cup final game alone.

Ian Kennett's Incontentia B uttocks thankfully came second because otherwise I would have had to put up a picture of Ian's buttocks instead of a cute little lamb. Kennett's 26 points was also good enough to secure promotion to the Premiership next season.

Crown Jewells and NY Eagles were next up with 24 points. Megan & Hannah's Bears hit the low point with 1, but this doesn't count towards the lowest seasonal score because rule #46, paragraph 3 was evoked.

The all-star Fantasy League team

Based on the Premiership players total points scored. This was the best performing fantasy team & it is pretty fair to say, that if you chose this lot then you would be the N&R FL's newest champion**:

Goalkeeper - P Reina, Liverpool 123 pts
Defender - R Carvalho, Chelsea 135 pts
Defender - J Carragher, Liverpool 132 pts
Defender - JA Riise, Liverpool 132 pts
Defender - J Terry, Chelsea or M Taylor, Portsmouth both 125 pts
Midfielder - C Ronaldo, Man Utd 247 pts
Midfielder - F Lampard, Chelsea 215 pts
Midfielder - M Pederson, Blackburn 169 pts
Striker - W Rooney, Man Utd 236 pts
Striker - D Drogba, Chelsea 199 pts
Striker - M Viduka, Middlesbrough 196 pts

**Total cost 55.5m (our max is 50m)
Fantasy player of the year - Cristiano Ronaldo
Best Bargain - Matthew Taylor (3.4m)
Biggest flop - Michael Owen (6 pts)
Best Charlton player - Darren Bent (142 pts)

The Fizzy Pops - how did I do?

At the end of March I predicted the top 6 finishers + winners of the play-off's and the teams to get relegated from the Championship, League One & Two plus The Conference. How did I do?

Championship My Picks (finish in brackets)
1. Derby (3rd & p/o winners)
2. Birmingham (2nd)
3. Sunderland & p/o winners (Champions)
4. Preston (7th)
5. West Brom (4th)
6. Southampton (6th)

22. Leeds (24th, but did have 10 points deducted)
23. QPR (18th)
24. Luton (23rd)

League One My Picks (finish in brackets)
1. Scunthorpe (Champions)
2. Bristol City (2nd)
3. Forest (4th)
4. Yeovil (5th)
5. Oldham (6th)
6. Blackpool & p/o winners (3rd & p/o winners)

21. Chesterfield (21st)
22. Cheltenham (17th)
23. Brentford (24th)
24. Rotherham (23rd)

League Two My Picks (finish in brackets*)
1. Hartlepool (2nd)
2. Walsall (Champions)
3. MK Dons (4th)
4. Swindon & p/o winners (3rd)
5. Lincoln (5th)
6. Stockport (8th)
7. Peterborough (10th)
*Bristol Rovers won play-off final

23. Bury (21st)
24. Torquay (24th)

Conference My Picks (finish in brackets*)
1. Dagenham & Redbridge (Champions)
2. Oxford (2nd)
3. York City (4th)
4. Stevenage (8th)
5. Gravesend & Northfleet (7th)
*Morecombe won play-off final

You are joking?

I found this in today's Daily Mirror:

"Watford have secured a new sponsorship deal. They will bear the brand name Beko on their shirts instead of the names of their Turkish parent companies - Arcelik and Koc Holding."

Arcelik & Koc Holding - what in the hell are those for names of companies?

New York, New York so good they named it twice

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 39 scores

Savchenko is looking pretty secure in pole position as we enter the final week of the season. Hannoi Utd and Flighty Feet will battle it out for the runners up spot but Barry Paull's NY Eagles, in the relegation places in mid March have made a late run to try to disrupt the party. Barry jumped an amazing 5 places to 4th and succeded in knocking out long time challenger Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars out of the prize money places.

East Indian Summer slip to 5th, with Glasgow kiss in 6th. Kirsty had a good week 39 and will be hoping to hold onto her place.

And Cristiano's Allstars and Roubles tie for 7th place, both just 3 points ahead of John in 9th. Christian Dailly Football Genius is a further 14 points behind in 10th. Epping 'dog walking' club and Living in Sin look like missing out despite good recent form.

The bottom 8 remain unchanged with only perhaps Davor's #1 Strugglers in a position to catch Rob's Thieving Chelsea Gits.

All will be revealed after this week's final scores.

Soozie causes stir at promotion party

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 39 scores
Wenners closed the gap to 20 points in the final week but it is a big ask for him to pip Mark at the top of the table. Bollocks to Ballack had a better week than Sven & Janas in w39 and these two are guaranteed to be playing Premiership FL next season.

Jonny Forskins look settled in 3rd although Thank You 4 The Daze and In Tatters are still looking over their shoulders in 3rd and 4th. And what about Soozie's Ping Pong Aces, who only for the 2nd time this season get into the promotion places. Last season's Champ has had a dire season but she has saved the best for last and she pushes both Incontentia B uttocks and Lamb to the slaughter out of the promotion race.

Massive Tackle and Vote Seagulls Party have a right to be nervy as only 8 from perhaps 12 teams will make the cut.

Meanwhile Hannah & Megan seems pretty set on the 25 quid consolation prize of finishing the 50th best N&R FL manager in 2006/07!

Aces are high

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 39

Soozie sausage burst into the prize money scene after week 39 by poking in the weeks best score and surging into the promotion race. What a girl, and a what a week by the lovely Sooz & her Aces.

And NY Eagles did exactly the same thing in the Premiership after scoring 56 points. The old fantasy stalwart Bazz, looks like walking away with some prize dough again.

Quite a way behind these two were Crown Jewells with 45, Savchenko Spurs with 44, Glasgow kiss and Epping 'dog walking' club both with 41 and The Underwriting Cop and Jonny Forskins and the Phullbacks both with 40.

The week's lowest score was Ballhogs with just 4.

Good luck to Liverpool tomorrow

On the grapevine

I recently heard off and saw a couple of N&R FL connected folk in the good old US of A. I was in New Orleans minding my own business in Bourbon Street shopping for antiques the week before last and a bit of a commotion caught my attention and there was Chris Waterman bearing all for some purple beads. Not the way to get on but it certainly has done him no harm at AIG. By the way Chris, the boys want to know where you will be taking them to lunch this year?

I also heard from a very good source that Ged Stimson was in the country playing the role of best man at a mate's wedding. Apparently the page boy job was already taken. I understand the speech was a bit long but his northern monkey charm went down well with the hoy-peloy of Manhattan, NY.

The only problem came towards the end of the evening when Ged was giving the best looking bridesmaid the custominary tongueing but proceeded to fall off his orange crate.

Congratulations baby Plumms

Mr & Mrs Plumms had a baby boy today. His name is Benjamin George Plummer and weighed in at 9lb 3oz. Everyone's doing well and I have baby Charlton kit in the post to the young Addick!

My kinda town

Americans are obsessed by their teeth. When I was a kid I tried every trick in the book to avoid having to wear a brace, but heck if I'd had grown up here I would have been an anomaly in the school playground. Americans have perfect teeth, fact, well at least the ones whose parents can afford it, because those shiny straight choppers do not come cheap.

Americans look at our British teeth with disdain a bit like we look at their burger habits or dress sense I suppose but I never thought my teeth were that bad, straightish, slightly showing the signs of years of drinking red wine, tea and more recently coffee but I'm not a smoker. And I've only got a few fillings, so when I first went to the dentist (recommended to me by Brian Dougal) 2 or 3 years back I thought they would give me the once over and I'd be off. Oh no....

I reckon I see the hygenist bird, her name is Sue and she loves my accent, about 5 times a year for a good old scraping and scrub up. Then the dentist always comes in and sticks his head in my mouth, tuts with derison then runs through them one by one in code shaking his head, before telling me that I should get this done and that replaced and that I should seriously think about getting my wisdom teeth yanked out. No thanks.

Last week I was sat in the chair, in fact I was sat in the chair 2 weeks before that as well, but most recently to have a crown put in - a bloody huge thing too - cost? A couple of g's. Some of it covered under America's wonderfully extortionate and unfair health system, some of it coming out of my bank, by direct debit for ease. How kind.

The first visit was the get a temporary filling he put in a year ago and then drill away for 45 minutes at the poor little peg and then put another temporary crown in while a new one is made. Then last week I was back in to have it fitted and because I am brave, nay stupid and scared of needles, I opted to have good old fashioned mouthwash instead as he played around with this new crown and my exposed nerves for half an hour to get the sodding thing fitted.

Tell you what I've never had a baby before, but don't tell me that it would be worse than that?

And all the time Brian Dougal gets sent gifts and cards for referring me to his dentist. I am not bloody surprised, he saw this particular Brit coming.

Road to Wembley - Blue is the colour

Feedback

Just 2 weeks to go, the scores from the last week of the Premiership season are to come and points from tomorrow's FA Cup final between Chelsea and Man U will count and could make a vital difference. Ah, sorry too late to make a transfer. Deadline was Tueaday!

Well it's been fun, sometimes tough to keep up what with work but I hope you have enjoyed it. I would be interested in any feedback (email me at simon_newport@ars.aon.com) and I do expect to be over in the summer and Keith and I will host a prize giving night.

Cheers
Nobs

Sav wins first MoW award

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 38
Run away leader Ryan Saveall won his first MoW in week 38, an amazing stat for the champion elect. Sav's score of 53 was only good enough though to share the spoils with Wizzi, who hit the same score in his efforts to stave off relegation. It was Dave's 3rd MoW win and they will share the fiver.

Brighton Blues look like they have done enough to have another season in the top flight. A sterling 47 from the ex-pat Seagull and his son Christian would appear to make them safe. NY Eagles are still fighting for a top 7 place and I wouldn't it past the ex-pat Eagle, who scored 46.

Hannoi Utd kept their challenge in full swing with 45, whilst Underwrting Cop's 45 was enough to take them off the bottom of the Premiership.

In the Championship promotion heading In Tatters top scored with 46, ahead of Nobby's North of Crystal Palarse with 40.

Ready waves the flag

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 38 scores

Savchenko still tops the Premiership with 2 weeks left but Ready makes his presence felt with a solid week while those around him struggled for form. Hannoi Utd move into 2nd , swapping places with Flighty Feet.

In 5th and 6th the two long time challengers cling on for well deserved prize money. Rockstars overtake the Allstars and John McGowan's Roubles FC slip back into the mix in 7th whereas Glasgow kiss drop to 8th.

Just behind the top 8 are NY Eagles and Christian Dailly who can both still have a say in the money stakes.

At the bottom the relegation candidates are unchanged but I Still *ing Hate Chelsea do slip to bottom.

Promotion still up for grabs

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 38 scores
Sven & Janas let a slight breath in week 38 as Mark increased his lead over Bollocks to Ballack by 32 points. Jonny Forskins seems settled in 3rd but just 41 points separate 4th from 10th and promotion is all to be played for.

Even my North of Crystal Palarse are in with a slim chance after a good week 38 and the three teams below that are all in with a shout still.

The New Wembley

Takes the big stage tomorrow. The £757m stadium with its magnificent arch has already seen a U21 game and the FA Trophy & Vase finals but tomorrow is the big one. 90,000 will be there, a global television audience of 550 million will also tune in. Find out more on the new stadium here.

Wembley gets ready

Road to Wembley - Man Utd v Chelsea

It was what all the pundits wanted, the big two at the new Wembley. I just hope it won't be a let down as the new Premiership champions take on the old champions.

Our N&R newsletter will be supporting Man U as they are our Road to Wembley team. I know we have fans of both sides in the fantasy league, so for your benefit I will try to stay impartial. Utd have won the FA Cup the most times, 11, while Chelski have won it just 3, the last time 10 years ago when DiMatteo's first minute goal put them on the way to a 2-0 win over Middlesbrough. Of course this is the trophy that Jose has never won.

They also met in 1994 and this is a nice article on what those players are doing now.

I of course as I always do hope for a good game, like last year's classic for starters as I dig into my waffles and pancakes! The game kicks off here at 9am (3pm GMT)

With regards to our Road to Wembley we had just 8 teams with us this year through the 14 rounds to the final starting with Newport Pagnell FC in August and ending with Man United. Romford, Maidenhead Utd and Watford each lasted 3 rounds. Here is the full run down from Saturday's first ever final at the new Wembley and endng with the Extra Preliminary Round played in front of 133 fans back in early August before the season even started:

Final (at Wembley)
Man Utd v Chelsea

Semi Final (at Villa Park)
Watford 1 Man Utd 4
Scorer: Bouazza
Att: 37,245

6th Round
Plymouth 0 Watford 1
Scorer: Bouazza
Att: 20,625

5th Round
Watford 1 Ipswich 0
Scorer: Francis
Att: 17,016

4th Round
West Ham 0 Watford 1
Att: 31,168

3rd Round
West Ham 3 Brighton 0
Att: 32,874

2nd Round
Brighton 3 Maidenhead Utd 0
Att: 5,741

1st Round Replay
Maidenhead Utd 0 Stafford Rangers 2
Att: 1,934

1st Round
Stafford Rangers 1 Maidenhead Utd 1
Scorer: Lee
Att:

4th Qualifying Road
Maidenhead Utd 1 Merthyr Tydfil 0
Scorer: Newman
Att: 711

3rd Qualifying Round
Maidenhead Utd 3 Worthing Utd 1
Scorer: Pickles
Att: 304

2nd Qualifying Round
Worthing Utd beat Romford (score unknown)
Att: 165

Qualifying Round
Romford 3 Leighton Town 0
Scorers: Elbi, Downer, Oxby
Att: 156

Preliminary Rd
Romford 2 Tilbury 0
Scorers: Pyne (2)
Att: 102

Extra Preliminary Rd
Romford 1 Newport Pagnell 0
Att: 133

My kinda town

Ok, you'll like this. Yesterday I did my driving test. And I passed! Which if I'm honest only proved that I can turn left and right and drive in a straight line and then reverse. Oh and I can park too, in a 12ft wide diagonal space!

I still don't own a car here but am very close to deciding to buy or lease one. At the moment I just rent one when I need to, and that's cheap and I was using my UK driving licence to do that. Apparently in the state of Illinois you can only do that so long and I am sure the time limit has passed, so this along with the fact that I might get myself an 1970's chevvy made my mind up that I should go and do the test.

To get your license, there is a theory test to sit first. You pick up the book, learn the signs, stopping distances, how many bottles of wine you can drink before you are under the influence, go to the government building, talk to a halfwit and do the test.

It was multiple choice and I passed with flying colours. The eye-test consisted of being able to see, or at least saying you could see two very bright lights in a machine. The bloke in front was Chinese and could not speak a damn word of English. The woman asked him 10 times if he could see the lights? He looked at her bemused until she said, "Just say yes." He did and he passed. Rather disconcerning and I made a mental note to beware the take-away vans around my way.

Next up is the road test, which is a bit misleading because most of the 10 minute exam is done in a car park and not on the road.

Of course I haven't got a car, so had to get some old duffer of a driving instructor to take me out and he insisted on a lesson first. Understandably so when he charges $80 an hour. Fcuk, when I did my driving lessons with old Ted 22 years ago they were seven quid!

Anyway I amazed myself how I went into complete driving test mode. I held the steering wheel at 10 to 2, I looked in my mirrors exaggeratingly every 50 feet, drove at 28mph with about half a mile between me and the car in front and indicated to go around anything wider than a piece of A4 paper.

Apparentely I was very good and I was allowed to go for my test. This was yesterday and we drove up there, hung around, signed some stuff and then my driving instructor wished me luck and told me I was on my own. Gulp!

Then very bizarrely I had to drive myself to the queue to wait for a test examiner. Even though I hadn't passed my test, there I was, driving. Just lucky that I knew how to, I guess? It was embarassing as the other 'students' were either over 75 or about 16. At 75 you have to take an annual test and in some states you can drive at 15. Illinois is 16 though.

I waited my turn, put the radio on and tried not to think about driving on the right/wrong* (delete as applicable) side of the road and most importantly remembering which way I should turn the wheels if I was parking down a steep hill. This question is the only one you get asked during your test and if you get it wrong it is a straight fail.

Parallel parking, 3-point turn, driving above 28mph not important, turning your wheels inwards when on a steep hill essential and of course if you have ever been to the northern part of Illinois, then you will realise that the highest point is about 50ft!

Then my instructor got in, she was about 25, I drove, she flirted, I reversed, got my question right, parked the car in a gap the size of a Homebase car park and I passed.

It wasn't quite the feeling that I had when I was 18, but it still felt good, even if I joined a couple of 90 year olds in the office to get my license, one of which could hardly walk and didn't speak English and the other as death as a post.

Time now for a road trip.

My personal take on Charlton's relegation

The full article can be found at www. chicagoaddick.blogspot.com

I know this sounds a bit mad, but I actually enjoyed this season! Ok, so it wasn't the normal flying start, then losing more than we win, or winning by boring teams to death, putting a run together over Christmas, 4th round Cup knockout, not winning a league game after Easter kind of giggles we have become used to, but this season, despite the tragedy and the despair, was exciting and I will look back with warm memories.

My first season of being an overseas Addick was 2003/04 and that was tough because I had to get used to supporting the club a whole different way. It wasn't easy, part of my life, a huge part of it, had been cut-off and it was a good season (7th place finish) despite the customary end of season malaise.

However the following season's under Curbishley, 2004/05 and 2005/06 frankly were bloody boring (perhaps the start of 05/06 aside) but the selfish fact was it helped my Charlton-starved brain to adjust to being 4,000 miles away and not seeing every goal, free-kick or corner, either in the flesh or on the box.

I was one of those people, and it seems like centuries ago, that wanted the Curbishley era to end but equally I knew that this season with what he left us with was going to be bloody hard and a 17th place finish would have been considered a success.

Naturally I never expected the kind of circumstances that were going to be thrown at us after Dowie was finally appointed. Although the 'Dowie thing' never seemed right, and by the way the court case started today, there was certainly a new energy amongst Addicks and I saw that for myself at the Fulham away game in October, even though we were in hindsight comprehensively beaten by a far more astute tactician. Not that it did Coleman any good either mind.

Dowie, went and Reed plunged us to depths not seen for decades, and never seen by some younger fans. As is traditional at other clubs we (shock, horror) turned on the board and the players, the media then slung muck at us for "forcing Curbishley out etc." We collectively turned around and thought "fuck you, what do you lot of Mourinho lovers know?"

Just like now the press still can't grasp the fact that our relegation wasn't only caused by Dowie and Reed and I loved it that the media and opposing fans slagged us off, and I thought thank god, no more "nice little Charlton."

Not since Steve Gritt was sacked, were supporters so at odds with each other. The players, with one or two exceptions maximum, did not give a toss and the board, our dear revered board were hapless under extreme pressure.

But they pulled themselves together, had the wherewithal to bring in Pardew and we got our club back. Christmas Eve as we collectively sat in our homes drinking a sweet sherry, there was huge pangs of relief and some hope.

How Pardew reinvigorated us, not just the players, but the fans. Out of all of what had happened - Dowie, Jordan, Reed, being the laughing stock of the press, the Wycombe game, the board's lack of direction, the european coaching model, 3 managers before Christmas and Pards, it had all suceeded in uniting the fans. The old ones, the newer ones, the ones who wished for 'the good old days,' the rose-tinted ones, each of us, we became one.

Not since the 'Back to The Valley' days had the fans and the club been so together. Sure we need to get rid of some useless pieces of crap that have the dishonesty to call themselves Charlton players, but I feel as proud and excited now to be a Charlton fan than at any time in my 32 years of going.

Last night, something remarkable happened towards the end of the game, three sides of the ground stood and sung 'Valley Floyd Road' together followed by a round of applause. In recent months the atmosphere has been some of the best I have seen, heard or witnessed for many, many years.

The Championship and it's teams can enjoy our season on loan to them beginning in August because watch out "nice little Charlton" are coming.

Bloody Sav ruins all of the fun!

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 37 scores
In what I was trumpeting as the closest finish since Greg Harris' Old Etonians pipped Brian Rutter's Woolwich Arsenal to the title in 1919, Savchenko has gone and ruined all the excitement by finishing the N&R FL season like a friggin' steam train. Another top 5 weekly score has Sav 31 points ahead with 3 weeks left to play.

Flighty Feet lead the sprint after him and they have opened a little gap now between themselves and Hannoi Utd in 3rd, although Ready is on the charge after a fine week which saw him move above East Indian Summer.

Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars hang in there but I worry for long time leader Cristiano's Allstars because they are stuck in reverse after being top 4 weeks ago.

Behind Razor is Roubles FC and Christian Dailly all on his tail and slightly further back but still in gobbing distance is NY Eagles.

In the relegation places Lovejoy zoomed out of trouble due to his MoW award but this dumped Epping 'dog walking' club back in the dog doo doo. 2 Infinity & Beyond also look like they have some fight left in them after an improved week 37.

Will Ballacks run out of juice?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 37 scores

Bollocks to Ballack are slowly closing the gap on Sven & Janas but will they run out of steam or will the season, with 3 weeks scores to come, end to prematurely for Ballacks? After another good score from Wenners, he is now just 30 points behind Simmo and although promotion looks nailed on, we are sure Wenners will be after the main prize.

Jonny Forskins and Thank you 4 the daze remain in in 3rd and 4th. I was wondering the weekend if Oakers will name his team next season 1 year of hurt?

Up into 5th are the mighty Seagulls Party, swapping with Massive Tackle, who if he is not careful will fall out of the promotion race. James has been top 8 since January but is floundering. A point separates 7th from 8th - In Tatters and Incontentia B uttocks with Lamb to the slaughter leading the chasing pack.

Megan & Hannah's Bears remain in the penultimate place prized position, 40th overall!

You couldn't Byatt

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 37

Alex Byatt stormed to his 3rd MoW prize in week 36. Just 34 points was enough it propelled his Luvvies away from the relegation zone and into 13th place, maybe with half a eye on that magic 7th position, although he may run out of weeks.

4 points short of Alex was Rose's Rovers but then came the big hitters in the Premiership. Ttile chasers Hannoi Utd and Flighty Feet both scored 29, whilst leader Savchenko Spurs managed 27. Another prize challenger Glasgow kiss smacked 25.

Also in the Premiership Goonersmoan scored 26 and 2Infinity & Beyond got 25.

In the Championship promotion race In Tatters scored 28, one less than old chum Panzo who scored 29. Vote Seagulls Party, Ping Pong and Bollocks to Ballack all helped their promotion hopes with good weekly scoring.

Here we go again, Massive Tackle and Brighton Blues all shared the embarrassment of the weeks lowest score of 5 points.

Load of Ballacks

"A German sex toy firm is to pay German football stars Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn 50,000 euros each after it used their names to sell vibrators." (more)

The stars sued the firm Beate Uhse because it sold special World Cup vibrators called "Michael B" and "Olli K" last year without their permission. The damages - £34,000 ($67,000) for each player - were awarded in Hamburg.

There is no truth to the rumour that a Marsh broker is suing a London sex shop for selling dildo's called Ginger Rabbit.

My kinda town

I had to listen to a current ad being run on local radio here a couple of times because I couldn't believe it the first time round.

Virgin Airlines are now flying direct to Chicago from Heathrow (which is good news) and they have been running television and radio adverts starring Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols and it shows Jones relaxing on a flight talking to his mate about head massages, onboard bar, showers, lie-down beds etc, when he then turns to his mate and says:

"This is great, economy class is only for wankers."

Honestly on prime television and radio. And I could hear the collective "whooooosh" over the whole population's heads after it ended.

Team Challenge - Layton still out front

Sav and Ready are leading Layton Blackham to silverware with just 4 weeks remaining of the Team challenge. They are 20+ points ahead of 2nd place AIG, who were last year's champions.

Just behind them are Willis, being led by our lovely Scottish haggis Kirsty and Aon USA's dysfunctional family comprised of a couple of cheeseheads, a boy from Philly who knows nowt about the beautiful game and a Croat (ditto).

Back in 5th slipping down the table are the drinking group of Aon Re, in 6th is BMS, where both Ash and Wenners are battling for promotion.

Aspen are down in 7th despite Wizzi's fantastic first season, 8th are the mighty Ex-Pats showing the world that England was the inventor of the great game! Behind them are once previous champions Marsh and then after that Razor leads the Lloyds boys from the comfort of his own office. It is said that Richard only goes into Lloyds to pick up his tall vanilla semi-skimmed latte.

Bringing up the rear - Jenks and PK's fave position - is RSA, and last but not least the boys around at JLT.

Brighton still await new ground 10 years on

The saga of Brighton and Hove Albion's search for a new home is the longest in recent English football. Since they left the Goldstone Ground, sixteen clubs have moved into new stadiums. It's now just over ten years since the Seagulls played their last game at the Goldstone Ground which was their home for 95 years. But the club's future is still at risk because of Nimby opposition to their planned new stadium at Falmer on the outskirts of Brighton.

The Goldstone became a retail park after being sold off by a controversial board of directors. To add insult to injury, Brighton had to pay £245,000 in capital gains tax to the Inland Revenue because of the delay in building the new ground. For two years after leaving the Goldstone Brighton had to share with Gillingam, 70 miles away. They then returned to temporary accommodation at Withdean Stadium, a small council-owned athletics facility. Pitches with athletic tracks round them are never ideal for football and £3.5m had to be spent bringing Withdean up to league standard. But its size means the club cannot take full advantage of their potential attendance.

The City Council approved plans for the 22,500-capacity stadium at Falmer, after a city-wide referendum, but the club are still in limbo. John Prescott approved the plans after two lengthy public inquiries. However, neighbouring Lewes Council, whose territory includes Falmer village and a small corner of the proposed stadium, launched a legal challenge. Supposedly in an area of outstanding natural beauty, the Falmer site is a nondescript field between a railway, some university buildings and a road. Falmer parish council tried to claim that residents of East Brighton estates lacked the skills to take advantage of employment opportunities offered by the stadium development.

It was also claimed that Brighton Council only gave permission because they wanted football fans as far from the city centre as possible. The final decision now rests with Communities and Local Government minister, Ruth Kelly, who will rule before July 9th.

In the time since the Seagulls have been homeless, 16 teams have moved to new grounds, with Shrewsbury being the latest at the start of next season. These are clubs who have moved to new grounds in the last ten years are:

Arsenal - The Emirates (2006)

Bolton Wanderers - The Reebok (1997)

Coventry City - Ricoh Arena (2005)

Darlington - Darlington Arena (2003)

Derby County - Pride Park (1997)

Doncaster Rovers - Keepmoat Stadium (2007)

Hull City - KC Stadium (2002)

Leicester City - Walkers (2002)

Manchester City - City of Manchester (2003)

MK Dons - Denbigh Stadium (2007)

Reading - Majedski (1998)

Southampton - St Mary's (2001)

Stoke City - Brittania (1997)

Sunderland - Stadium of Light (1997)

Swansea City - Liberty (2005)

Wigan Athletic - JJB (1999)

Southend United, Grimsby Town, Chesterfield and Colchester all have plans to move in 2008.

The Times Football Rich List

This was in last week's paper. It lists the top 10 owners / shareholders in clubs and also the top 10 richest players.

Top 10 Owners / Shareholders
1. Roman Abramovich Chelsea £10.8bn
2. Joe Lewis Tottenham Hotspur £2.1bn
3. Dermot Desmond Glasgow Celtic £1.25bn
4. Malcolm Glazer Man Utd £1.05bn
5. Trevor Hemmings Charlton and Preston NE £900m
6. Sir Alan Sugar Tottenham Hotspur £790m
7. Randy Lerner Aston Villa £789m
8. David Murray Glasgow Rangers £650m
9. Simon Keswick Cheltenham Town £644m
10. David Sullivan Birmingham City £595m

The interesting one for me and Martin Singleton is Trevor Hemmings. He only has a small shareholding in both The Addicks and Preston. I wrote about him on my blog recently. Randy Lerner is a new entry of course and of course the big question is will Simon Keswick make Cheltenham the new Jack Walker's Blackburn? Keswick is currently on non-executive board member of JLT.

Top 10 players
1. David Beckham Real Madrid £87m
2. Michael Owen Newcastle United £32m
3. Robbie Fowler Liverpool £28m
4. Sol Campbell Portsmouth £27m
5. Rio Ferdinand Man United £22m
6. Ryan Giggs Man United £22m
7. Andriy Shevchenko Chelsea £22m
8. Thierry Henry Arsenal £21m
9. Wayne Rooney Man United £20m
10. Michael Ballack Chelsea £18m

Of course Becks will bring his wallet to the US in August. Michael Owen has certainly earnt his money this season. Not. And Robbie is a bit past his prime. Is it any wonder that Ronaldo is a bit pissed off at 'only' earning £9m a year?

Hot - Spurs

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 36 scores

In the tightest finish in years Savchenko Spurs became the 4th team in 5 weeks to go top of probably the best football fantasy league in the world. Ryan's huge 95 points knocked his title rivals sideways and opened a 33 point advantage over East Indian Summer and previous leader Flighty Feet with 4 weeks to go. Dewbs' East Indians were the biggest climber, a massive 5 places as others faltered.

Hannoi Utd drop 2 places to 4th, Cristiano Allstars stay 5th. Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars dropped 2 places and Roubles fall out of the prized places altogether. Christian Dailly Football Genius also slipped further behind the top 7 but NY Eagles gained a place and are 25 points off the big prized places.

Glasgow Kiss, the week 37 MoW quietly moved back into the top 7 from 9th. Kirsty was last in the top 7 in February.

At the bottom the biggest mover was London Irish and Hilary and Lovejoy will have their beady eyes on Epping 'dog walking' club, #1 Strugglers, Thieving Chelsea Gits, Brighton Blues and Living in Sin above them.

Wenners closes gap

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 36 scores
Bollocks to Ballack kept up the heat on Sven & Janas in week 35. I thought that Simmons had it won but Iron Wenners must have an illegal player amongst his ranks or something as his boys chase down the long term leader. The gap is now just 43, the smallest for 8 weeks.

Jonny Forskins is into 3rd, after a league best weekly score, Thank You 4 The Daze stay 4th but Massive Tackle fall to 5th. Vote Seagulls Party remain 6th but Incontentia B uttocks and In Tatters swap places.

Lamb To Slaughter after wholesale changes are 10 points out of the promotion race, Ping Pong 18, Crown Jewells 25 and Glencoe Hammers 34.

At the bottom Sweaty's Revolution are 23 points behind Megan & Hannah's Bears for the rather embarrasing title of the 2nd worst fantasy manager.

Pucker up Kirsty

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 36

Kirsty's Glasgow Kiss och-ayed da noo'd back into the prize places in week 35 with a super 99 point score. It was the Glasgow lass' best score of the season and the 10th best overall.

Savchenko Spurs stormed back to the top of The Premiership after a 13 week absence after hitting their best score of the campaign, a sign of a champion as Ryan hammered 95 points and sits in pole position with just 4 weeks left.

NY Eagles notched 95 and goes into 10th, but it was East Indian Summer who made the biggest impact by climbing 5 places to joint 2nd and Dewbs is the man on form after moving up from the lower half of the table in recent weeks. Mark's 88 points was identical to Dougs' Living in Sin. London Irish helped their relegation chances by scoring 85.

In the Championship Jonny Forskins and the Phullbacks enhanced their promotion prospects with an 83 whereas work mate Wenners, kept his Bollocks to Ballack on the tail of leader Sven & Janas with 82.

Transfers

I know you all getting a tad excited but we have noticed a prolifacy of transfer requests lately that have been wrong, or shall I say misleading. Now I know that it is more over exuberance than cheating but if you could please refrain and check in advance that you only have one transfer left and not ten or that Kevin Lisbie is not the same cost as Cristiano Ronaldo, then we would be appreciative.

You can always ask me for details of your team and number of transfers in advance as this would save us all loads of time and hassle.

Sermon over. Thanks, Nobby & Ready.

Talk about bloody excitement!

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 35 scores
Excuse me for being excited but I am sitting in a Frankie & Benny’s writing this somewhere near Bromley and there are two decent ‘Mothers that lunch’ at the next table….

But that is not the only thing I have to get excited about. Take a look at the top of the N&R Premiership….

I, of course, take all the credit for splitting the league and creating this excitement, not seen since last time Sweaty was seen in Homebase choosing bathroom grout.

Flighty Feet still sit on top (a rather nice thought, if I could be as bold), just 1 point ahead of the Layton Blackham duo of Hannoi Utd and Savchenko Spurs tied in 2nd place. They in turn are only 3 points ahead of young upstart Littig, whose long time leaders Roon & Ron’s rockstars stay 4th.

On their way down to 5th though are Cristiano’s allstars, top just 3 weeks ago, but still only 9 points of the top. East Indian Summer replace Christian Dailly in 7th.

This is all pointing to the closest finish involving probably 8 teams for a very long time.

At the bottom Living in sin, #1 Strugglers, Thieving Chelsea gits and Lovejoy all improved their chances of staying up with fine weekly performances. But things are looking a bit gloomy for Wizzi’z wonders, who drop bang into the relegation hotchpotch.

Knouse one baby!

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 35
Well I never, Nick and Jon finally showed the fantasy football world that they no a little about the beautiful game – to be honest being West Ham and Leeds fans respectively, I was starting to have my doubts. But a rather nice MoW of week prize will be awarded at the end of the season for week 35’s 55 point score, although I am sure the Glencoe Hammers won’t want it to stop there as they chase an outside chance of promotion.

And blow me down with a featherlite but old Nobster weighed in with 52 points to give North of Palarse a boost, a bloody point less than team-mate Brian Dougal, whose Living In Sin have re-awoken.

Then if that wasn’t enough surprises, Francey and his magic spreadsheet produced a stunning 50 to Keep Vote Seagulls' promotion chances on track and dirty Leeds boy Rob Munden also caught us napping with his Thieving Chelsea gits clambering out of the Premiership relegation places for only the 2nd time since the turn of the year by scoring 49. The same as Dewbs’ East Indian Summer.

Title hunter Hannoi Utd masterfully stroked in 48 points, one more than London Irish and two more than Glasgow Kiss and Blackham buddy Savchenko Spurs.

Glencoe lead charge from the pack

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 35 scores
Still the battle over the relegation places, as the title seems a foregone conclusion, the opposite of the Big League. Wenners’ Bollocks to Ballack are up to 2nd again – the 7th time in 8 weeks. Thank you 4 the daze’s nosebleed has stopped and they fall back to 4th.

However it is lower down the table that it gets a bit more interesting as manager's give it their best shot for promotion.

Ping Pong climb another place as Sooz tries to salvage her season. Frank & Beans are still giving it their all. The Glencoe boys had a fantastic week – up 5 places after their week winning performance. Even Nobbage is getting in on the act, North of Palarse jumping to 15th. And a bit lower down Danny Rose’s Rovers move up 4 positions and will still hold slim hopes of a sprint into the top 8.

Bottom still is Sweat’s Revolution, but they are only 20 points off from saving face and winning their entry money back. Megan & Hannah’s bears remain in the penultimate prize spot, as they have done since the turn of the year.

Happy St George's Day

Flight of fancy

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 34 scores
Flighty Feet go back to the top of the Premiership as we enter the final straight. Catherine and Karen scored pretty average in week 34, but it was enough to top last week's joint leaders Cristiano's Allstars and Roon & Ron’s Rockstars. Meanwhile Savchenko Spurs slip into 3rd.

The question is have the Allstars and Rockstars fallen like, well stars? Both the new boys have dominated the league this season but will they be able to see it through or capture one of the big prizes? Or will it be last season’s wonders Flighty Feet, previous champion Hannoi Utd, old stalwart Roubles or maybe even the other new boy Savchenko, who too has had an admirable season.

What is sure is that the top 8 have pulled away, which will mean one team will miss out on a top prize.

The big news at the bottom is that Goonersmoan move off the bottom for the first time since Rutts fall from grace in week 31. Big Bri hammered home a very nifty fifty and clambered two places of the bottom. Lloyds boy Neil Cryer ‘s Underwriting Cop falls backwards whilst Godders’ I still *king hate Chelsea slump to bottom.

There was a time, a time long, long ago, when Pete Godfrey had this fantasy thing mastered. In those heady days Pete was undoubtedly the best football fantasy manager out there but like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, the fitter youngsters have caught up and overtaken him!

Aces high

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 34
Soozie, the lovely Soozie with the big personality collects her first prize money of the season. Her 58 points in week 34 was enough to collect a fiver, although Nobby & Ready will offer to pay her in kind, and not even demand any change!

Frankly Sooz, you & your Ping Pongs have been a disappointment to me and the pit-bull this season. After last year’s title cake walk, we expected similar but like your glorious Arse, you season has been poor. Note to my American friends: Arse is short for Arsenal.

Let’s just hope that Arsene doesn’t leave in the summer and you get Les Reed and his big Windsor knot instead.

Another good scorer was fellow Arse, Brian Rutter (by the way Rutts, I am dragging Jay Smelser out next week for a St Georges Day drink). Goonersmoan hit 50. Barry Paull’s NY Eagles helped themselves to 48, East Indian Summer to 46 and London Irish to 43.

In The Championship Shay’s Foreskins stay in the promotion hunt with an excellent 49 points and Dazed Oakers slammed 45 with Here we go again getting 41.

Al in a daze

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 34 scores
Oakers, who has never won anything in his long N&R FL life, is increasingly threatening to win some cash at the end of the season. Al’s Thank You 4 the daze climbed into 2nd place after a 45 point week, moving above Bollocks to Ballack and Massive Tackle.

Sven and Janas – Bye continue to streak away out front, 85 points ahead of their nearest rival. Lamb to the slaughter continue their good run, whilst In Tatters fall out of the promotion places.

The week's top team Ping Pong Yoyo aces have had a very indifferent season, a real disappointment from last years champion. However her MoW will give Soozie a boost to see if she can make a late charge for the promotion places. Sooz is currently just 27 points behind 8th.

In fact to be honest promotion is still a possibility right down to 23rd. Yep, even Panzo’s Panthers could make it if he can put some points on the board.

Road to Wembley - Watford dream ends

Our boys The Hornets had a miserable week, going out of the FA Cup and getting relegated from the Premiership in 7 days. At Villa Park Wayne Rooney inspired title chasing Manchester United as they broke Watford's brave challenge to reach the first FA Cup final to be held at the new Wembley.

ROONEY powered home a brilliant 20-yard drive after only six minutes, but Watford levelled with HAMEUR BOUAZZAs 26th minute overhead kick.

but Watford's celebrations were shortlived when players Player of the Year CRISTIANO RONALDO then bundled in Rooney's cross two minutes later as United swiftly restored their lead. Then ROONEY's close-range finish wrapped up the win after 66 minutes and substitute KIERAN RICHARDSON chipped in a fourth.

Watford: Lee, Mariappa (Doyley 88), Carlisle, Stewart, DeMerit, Chambers (Kabba 70), Smith, Mahon, Francis, Bouazza, Priskin (King 78).

Subs Not Used: Loach, Bangura.

Attendance: 37,245

MoM: Bouazza

Manchester Utd will now become our final Road to Wembley team and will play Chelsea on May 19th.

Nobby stars in week 33

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 33
Thank you, yes I know, it is very well deserved. About bloody time, do I hear? Oh, you shouldn't, I'm getting embarrassed....

Yes, Nobby stormed to the MoW award in week 33, cleverly biding his time in the pack before making his run to the title. A nearly record score of 36 points saw off all and sundry and propelled North of Crystal Palarse to a gravity defying 18th in the Championship. Now just a few points away from promotion, surely this is only the first fiver of many as Nobs starts his home run. Watch out everyone the Nobby love train is coming through....

..What's that? Eh? You mean I have to share the fiver? 3 ways? What the fuck! Jewelly and Dewbs got the same score as me? I demand a recount.... but don't I have it on goal difference or something? I am the bloody organiser you know....

Little John robbed by King Richard

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 33 scores
What a time for Littig to record his lowest score of the season? Just 14 points for Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars as Cristiano's Allstars joined them at the top of the Premiership in week 33. Richard Nathan, 3rd last week, scoring 26. Flighty Feet are just 2 behind in what is turning out to be a extremely close finish with ex-champion Ready up to 4th as Hannoi Utd hit 31 and Roubles, Savchenko and Christian Dailly are all in close pursuit.

Down the table a tad, NY Eagles were a big climber and Davor's #1 Strugglers and PK's Epping 'dog walking' club all slip a bit close for comfort to the relegation zone. The only change in the bottom 8 was that Nutmeg jumped over London Irish.

Sven & Janas - hello to the title?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 33 scores
Simmo pushed further into the title abyss after week 33. Sven & Janas are now 82 points clear of Bollocks to Ballack after a 33-point week, compared to Wenners 16.

The next 5 teams remain unchanged but into 6th appears Lamb to the slaughter, Glenn's first appearance since February and at the expense of Vote Seagulls Party.

At the bottom of the table Fabulous Fabregas FC drop a place after the week's worst score of 10. Dead bottom team Le Guen's Revolution close the long gap on Megan & Hannah's Bears again.

No week 32

By the way due to those wonderfully inspiring European Championship qualifiers when Steve 'very interesting' McClaren proved that he is a genius (Croatia watch out), there were no Premiership games in week 32.

Normal service has now resumed though, with just 7 weeks left before winners become winners and losers become Scottish supporting Rangers fans. Don't forget your transfers, if you have any left. If you don't know, just ask and I will tell you. Deadline as always is Tuesday at 7pm.

Happy Easter