Ready waves the flag

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 38 scores

Savchenko still tops the Premiership with 2 weeks left but Ready makes his presence felt with a solid week while those around him struggled for form. Hannoi Utd move into 2nd , swapping places with Flighty Feet.

In 5th and 6th the two long time challengers cling on for well deserved prize money. Rockstars overtake the Allstars and John McGowan's Roubles FC slip back into the mix in 7th whereas Glasgow kiss drop to 8th.

Just behind the top 8 are NY Eagles and Christian Dailly who can both still have a say in the money stakes.

At the bottom the relegation candidates are unchanged but I Still *ing Hate Chelsea do slip to bottom.

Promotion still up for grabs

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 38 scores
Sven & Janas let a slight breath in week 38 as Mark increased his lead over Bollocks to Ballack by 32 points. Jonny Forskins seems settled in 3rd but just 41 points separate 4th from 10th and promotion is all to be played for.

Even my North of Crystal Palarse are in with a slim chance after a good week 38 and the three teams below that are all in with a shout still.

The New Wembley

Takes the big stage tomorrow. The £757m stadium with its magnificent arch has already seen a U21 game and the FA Trophy & Vase finals but tomorrow is the big one. 90,000 will be there, a global television audience of 550 million will also tune in. Find out more on the new stadium here.

Wembley gets ready

Road to Wembley - Man Utd v Chelsea

It was what all the pundits wanted, the big two at the new Wembley. I just hope it won't be a let down as the new Premiership champions take on the old champions.

Our N&R newsletter will be supporting Man U as they are our Road to Wembley team. I know we have fans of both sides in the fantasy league, so for your benefit I will try to stay impartial. Utd have won the FA Cup the most times, 11, while Chelski have won it just 3, the last time 10 years ago when DiMatteo's first minute goal put them on the way to a 2-0 win over Middlesbrough. Of course this is the trophy that Jose has never won.

They also met in 1994 and this is a nice article on what those players are doing now.

I of course as I always do hope for a good game, like last year's classic for starters as I dig into my waffles and pancakes! The game kicks off here at 9am (3pm GMT)

With regards to our Road to Wembley we had just 8 teams with us this year through the 14 rounds to the final starting with Newport Pagnell FC in August and ending with Man United. Romford, Maidenhead Utd and Watford each lasted 3 rounds. Here is the full run down from Saturday's first ever final at the new Wembley and endng with the Extra Preliminary Round played in front of 133 fans back in early August before the season even started:

Final (at Wembley)
Man Utd v Chelsea

Semi Final (at Villa Park)
Watford 1 Man Utd 4
Scorer: Bouazza
Att: 37,245

6th Round
Plymouth 0 Watford 1
Scorer: Bouazza
Att: 20,625

5th Round
Watford 1 Ipswich 0
Scorer: Francis
Att: 17,016

4th Round
West Ham 0 Watford 1
Att: 31,168

3rd Round
West Ham 3 Brighton 0
Att: 32,874

2nd Round
Brighton 3 Maidenhead Utd 0
Att: 5,741

1st Round Replay
Maidenhead Utd 0 Stafford Rangers 2
Att: 1,934

1st Round
Stafford Rangers 1 Maidenhead Utd 1
Scorer: Lee
Att:

4th Qualifying Road
Maidenhead Utd 1 Merthyr Tydfil 0
Scorer: Newman
Att: 711

3rd Qualifying Round
Maidenhead Utd 3 Worthing Utd 1
Scorer: Pickles
Att: 304

2nd Qualifying Round
Worthing Utd beat Romford (score unknown)
Att: 165

Qualifying Round
Romford 3 Leighton Town 0
Scorers: Elbi, Downer, Oxby
Att: 156

Preliminary Rd
Romford 2 Tilbury 0
Scorers: Pyne (2)
Att: 102

Extra Preliminary Rd
Romford 1 Newport Pagnell 0
Att: 133

My kinda town

Ok, you'll like this. Yesterday I did my driving test. And I passed! Which if I'm honest only proved that I can turn left and right and drive in a straight line and then reverse. Oh and I can park too, in a 12ft wide diagonal space!

I still don't own a car here but am very close to deciding to buy or lease one. At the moment I just rent one when I need to, and that's cheap and I was using my UK driving licence to do that. Apparently in the state of Illinois you can only do that so long and I am sure the time limit has passed, so this along with the fact that I might get myself an 1970's chevvy made my mind up that I should go and do the test.

To get your license, there is a theory test to sit first. You pick up the book, learn the signs, stopping distances, how many bottles of wine you can drink before you are under the influence, go to the government building, talk to a halfwit and do the test.

It was multiple choice and I passed with flying colours. The eye-test consisted of being able to see, or at least saying you could see two very bright lights in a machine. The bloke in front was Chinese and could not speak a damn word of English. The woman asked him 10 times if he could see the lights? He looked at her bemused until she said, "Just say yes." He did and he passed. Rather disconcerning and I made a mental note to beware the take-away vans around my way.

Next up is the road test, which is a bit misleading because most of the 10 minute exam is done in a car park and not on the road.

Of course I haven't got a car, so had to get some old duffer of a driving instructor to take me out and he insisted on a lesson first. Understandably so when he charges $80 an hour. Fcuk, when I did my driving lessons with old Ted 22 years ago they were seven quid!

Anyway I amazed myself how I went into complete driving test mode. I held the steering wheel at 10 to 2, I looked in my mirrors exaggeratingly every 50 feet, drove at 28mph with about half a mile between me and the car in front and indicated to go around anything wider than a piece of A4 paper.

Apparentely I was very good and I was allowed to go for my test. This was yesterday and we drove up there, hung around, signed some stuff and then my driving instructor wished me luck and told me I was on my own. Gulp!

Then very bizarrely I had to drive myself to the queue to wait for a test examiner. Even though I hadn't passed my test, there I was, driving. Just lucky that I knew how to, I guess? It was embarassing as the other 'students' were either over 75 or about 16. At 75 you have to take an annual test and in some states you can drive at 15. Illinois is 16 though.

I waited my turn, put the radio on and tried not to think about driving on the right/wrong* (delete as applicable) side of the road and most importantly remembering which way I should turn the wheels if I was parking down a steep hill. This question is the only one you get asked during your test and if you get it wrong it is a straight fail.

Parallel parking, 3-point turn, driving above 28mph not important, turning your wheels inwards when on a steep hill essential and of course if you have ever been to the northern part of Illinois, then you will realise that the highest point is about 50ft!

Then my instructor got in, she was about 25, I drove, she flirted, I reversed, got my question right, parked the car in a gap the size of a Homebase car park and I passed.

It wasn't quite the feeling that I had when I was 18, but it still felt good, even if I joined a couple of 90 year olds in the office to get my license, one of which could hardly walk and didn't speak English and the other as death as a post.

Time now for a road trip.

My personal take on Charlton's relegation

The full article can be found at www. chicagoaddick.blogspot.com

I know this sounds a bit mad, but I actually enjoyed this season! Ok, so it wasn't the normal flying start, then losing more than we win, or winning by boring teams to death, putting a run together over Christmas, 4th round Cup knockout, not winning a league game after Easter kind of giggles we have become used to, but this season, despite the tragedy and the despair, was exciting and I will look back with warm memories.

My first season of being an overseas Addick was 2003/04 and that was tough because I had to get used to supporting the club a whole different way. It wasn't easy, part of my life, a huge part of it, had been cut-off and it was a good season (7th place finish) despite the customary end of season malaise.

However the following season's under Curbishley, 2004/05 and 2005/06 frankly were bloody boring (perhaps the start of 05/06 aside) but the selfish fact was it helped my Charlton-starved brain to adjust to being 4,000 miles away and not seeing every goal, free-kick or corner, either in the flesh or on the box.

I was one of those people, and it seems like centuries ago, that wanted the Curbishley era to end but equally I knew that this season with what he left us with was going to be bloody hard and a 17th place finish would have been considered a success.

Naturally I never expected the kind of circumstances that were going to be thrown at us after Dowie was finally appointed. Although the 'Dowie thing' never seemed right, and by the way the court case started today, there was certainly a new energy amongst Addicks and I saw that for myself at the Fulham away game in October, even though we were in hindsight comprehensively beaten by a far more astute tactician. Not that it did Coleman any good either mind.

Dowie, went and Reed plunged us to depths not seen for decades, and never seen by some younger fans. As is traditional at other clubs we (shock, horror) turned on the board and the players, the media then slung muck at us for "forcing Curbishley out etc." We collectively turned around and thought "fuck you, what do you lot of Mourinho lovers know?"

Just like now the press still can't grasp the fact that our relegation wasn't only caused by Dowie and Reed and I loved it that the media and opposing fans slagged us off, and I thought thank god, no more "nice little Charlton."

Not since Steve Gritt was sacked, were supporters so at odds with each other. The players, with one or two exceptions maximum, did not give a toss and the board, our dear revered board were hapless under extreme pressure.

But they pulled themselves together, had the wherewithal to bring in Pardew and we got our club back. Christmas Eve as we collectively sat in our homes drinking a sweet sherry, there was huge pangs of relief and some hope.

How Pardew reinvigorated us, not just the players, but the fans. Out of all of what had happened - Dowie, Jordan, Reed, being the laughing stock of the press, the Wycombe game, the board's lack of direction, the european coaching model, 3 managers before Christmas and Pards, it had all suceeded in uniting the fans. The old ones, the newer ones, the ones who wished for 'the good old days,' the rose-tinted ones, each of us, we became one.

Not since the 'Back to The Valley' days had the fans and the club been so together. Sure we need to get rid of some useless pieces of crap that have the dishonesty to call themselves Charlton players, but I feel as proud and excited now to be a Charlton fan than at any time in my 32 years of going.

Last night, something remarkable happened towards the end of the game, three sides of the ground stood and sung 'Valley Floyd Road' together followed by a round of applause. In recent months the atmosphere has been some of the best I have seen, heard or witnessed for many, many years.

The Championship and it's teams can enjoy our season on loan to them beginning in August because watch out "nice little Charlton" are coming.

Bloody Sav ruins all of the fun!

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 37 scores
In what I was trumpeting as the closest finish since Greg Harris' Old Etonians pipped Brian Rutter's Woolwich Arsenal to the title in 1919, Savchenko has gone and ruined all the excitement by finishing the N&R FL season like a friggin' steam train. Another top 5 weekly score has Sav 31 points ahead with 3 weeks left to play.

Flighty Feet lead the sprint after him and they have opened a little gap now between themselves and Hannoi Utd in 3rd, although Ready is on the charge after a fine week which saw him move above East Indian Summer.

Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars hang in there but I worry for long time leader Cristiano's Allstars because they are stuck in reverse after being top 4 weeks ago.

Behind Razor is Roubles FC and Christian Dailly all on his tail and slightly further back but still in gobbing distance is NY Eagles.

In the relegation places Lovejoy zoomed out of trouble due to his MoW award but this dumped Epping 'dog walking' club back in the dog doo doo. 2 Infinity & Beyond also look like they have some fight left in them after an improved week 37.

Will Ballacks run out of juice?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 37 scores

Bollocks to Ballack are slowly closing the gap on Sven & Janas but will they run out of steam or will the season, with 3 weeks scores to come, end to prematurely for Ballacks? After another good score from Wenners, he is now just 30 points behind Simmo and although promotion looks nailed on, we are sure Wenners will be after the main prize.

Jonny Forskins and Thank you 4 the daze remain in in 3rd and 4th. I was wondering the weekend if Oakers will name his team next season 1 year of hurt?

Up into 5th are the mighty Seagulls Party, swapping with Massive Tackle, who if he is not careful will fall out of the promotion race. James has been top 8 since January but is floundering. A point separates 7th from 8th - In Tatters and Incontentia B uttocks with Lamb to the slaughter leading the chasing pack.

Megan & Hannah's Bears remain in the penultimate place prized position, 40th overall!

You couldn't Byatt

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 37

Alex Byatt stormed to his 3rd MoW prize in week 36. Just 34 points was enough it propelled his Luvvies away from the relegation zone and into 13th place, maybe with half a eye on that magic 7th position, although he may run out of weeks.

4 points short of Alex was Rose's Rovers but then came the big hitters in the Premiership. Ttile chasers Hannoi Utd and Flighty Feet both scored 29, whilst leader Savchenko Spurs managed 27. Another prize challenger Glasgow kiss smacked 25.

Also in the Premiership Goonersmoan scored 26 and 2Infinity & Beyond got 25.

In the Championship promotion race In Tatters scored 28, one less than old chum Panzo who scored 29. Vote Seagulls Party, Ping Pong and Bollocks to Ballack all helped their promotion hopes with good weekly scoring.

Here we go again, Massive Tackle and Brighton Blues all shared the embarrassment of the weeks lowest score of 5 points.

Load of Ballacks

"A German sex toy firm is to pay German football stars Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn 50,000 euros each after it used their names to sell vibrators." (more)

The stars sued the firm Beate Uhse because it sold special World Cup vibrators called "Michael B" and "Olli K" last year without their permission. The damages - £34,000 ($67,000) for each player - were awarded in Hamburg.

There is no truth to the rumour that a Marsh broker is suing a London sex shop for selling dildo's called Ginger Rabbit.

My kinda town

I had to listen to a current ad being run on local radio here a couple of times because I couldn't believe it the first time round.

Virgin Airlines are now flying direct to Chicago from Heathrow (which is good news) and they have been running television and radio adverts starring Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols and it shows Jones relaxing on a flight talking to his mate about head massages, onboard bar, showers, lie-down beds etc, when he then turns to his mate and says:

"This is great, economy class is only for wankers."

Honestly on prime television and radio. And I could hear the collective "whooooosh" over the whole population's heads after it ended.

Team Challenge - Layton still out front

Sav and Ready are leading Layton Blackham to silverware with just 4 weeks remaining of the Team challenge. They are 20+ points ahead of 2nd place AIG, who were last year's champions.

Just behind them are Willis, being led by our lovely Scottish haggis Kirsty and Aon USA's dysfunctional family comprised of a couple of cheeseheads, a boy from Philly who knows nowt about the beautiful game and a Croat (ditto).

Back in 5th slipping down the table are the drinking group of Aon Re, in 6th is BMS, where both Ash and Wenners are battling for promotion.

Aspen are down in 7th despite Wizzi's fantastic first season, 8th are the mighty Ex-Pats showing the world that England was the inventor of the great game! Behind them are once previous champions Marsh and then after that Razor leads the Lloyds boys from the comfort of his own office. It is said that Richard only goes into Lloyds to pick up his tall vanilla semi-skimmed latte.

Bringing up the rear - Jenks and PK's fave position - is RSA, and last but not least the boys around at JLT.

Brighton still await new ground 10 years on

The saga of Brighton and Hove Albion's search for a new home is the longest in recent English football. Since they left the Goldstone Ground, sixteen clubs have moved into new stadiums. It's now just over ten years since the Seagulls played their last game at the Goldstone Ground which was their home for 95 years. But the club's future is still at risk because of Nimby opposition to their planned new stadium at Falmer on the outskirts of Brighton.

The Goldstone became a retail park after being sold off by a controversial board of directors. To add insult to injury, Brighton had to pay £245,000 in capital gains tax to the Inland Revenue because of the delay in building the new ground. For two years after leaving the Goldstone Brighton had to share with Gillingam, 70 miles away. They then returned to temporary accommodation at Withdean Stadium, a small council-owned athletics facility. Pitches with athletic tracks round them are never ideal for football and £3.5m had to be spent bringing Withdean up to league standard. But its size means the club cannot take full advantage of their potential attendance.

The City Council approved plans for the 22,500-capacity stadium at Falmer, after a city-wide referendum, but the club are still in limbo. John Prescott approved the plans after two lengthy public inquiries. However, neighbouring Lewes Council, whose territory includes Falmer village and a small corner of the proposed stadium, launched a legal challenge. Supposedly in an area of outstanding natural beauty, the Falmer site is a nondescript field between a railway, some university buildings and a road. Falmer parish council tried to claim that residents of East Brighton estates lacked the skills to take advantage of employment opportunities offered by the stadium development.

It was also claimed that Brighton Council only gave permission because they wanted football fans as far from the city centre as possible. The final decision now rests with Communities and Local Government minister, Ruth Kelly, who will rule before July 9th.

In the time since the Seagulls have been homeless, 16 teams have moved to new grounds, with Shrewsbury being the latest at the start of next season. These are clubs who have moved to new grounds in the last ten years are:

Arsenal - The Emirates (2006)

Bolton Wanderers - The Reebok (1997)

Coventry City - Ricoh Arena (2005)

Darlington - Darlington Arena (2003)

Derby County - Pride Park (1997)

Doncaster Rovers - Keepmoat Stadium (2007)

Hull City - KC Stadium (2002)

Leicester City - Walkers (2002)

Manchester City - City of Manchester (2003)

MK Dons - Denbigh Stadium (2007)

Reading - Majedski (1998)

Southampton - St Mary's (2001)

Stoke City - Brittania (1997)

Sunderland - Stadium of Light (1997)

Swansea City - Liberty (2005)

Wigan Athletic - JJB (1999)

Southend United, Grimsby Town, Chesterfield and Colchester all have plans to move in 2008.

The Times Football Rich List

This was in last week's paper. It lists the top 10 owners / shareholders in clubs and also the top 10 richest players.

Top 10 Owners / Shareholders
1. Roman Abramovich Chelsea £10.8bn
2. Joe Lewis Tottenham Hotspur £2.1bn
3. Dermot Desmond Glasgow Celtic £1.25bn
4. Malcolm Glazer Man Utd £1.05bn
5. Trevor Hemmings Charlton and Preston NE £900m
6. Sir Alan Sugar Tottenham Hotspur £790m
7. Randy Lerner Aston Villa £789m
8. David Murray Glasgow Rangers £650m
9. Simon Keswick Cheltenham Town £644m
10. David Sullivan Birmingham City £595m

The interesting one for me and Martin Singleton is Trevor Hemmings. He only has a small shareholding in both The Addicks and Preston. I wrote about him on my blog recently. Randy Lerner is a new entry of course and of course the big question is will Simon Keswick make Cheltenham the new Jack Walker's Blackburn? Keswick is currently on non-executive board member of JLT.

Top 10 players
1. David Beckham Real Madrid £87m
2. Michael Owen Newcastle United £32m
3. Robbie Fowler Liverpool £28m
4. Sol Campbell Portsmouth £27m
5. Rio Ferdinand Man United £22m
6. Ryan Giggs Man United £22m
7. Andriy Shevchenko Chelsea £22m
8. Thierry Henry Arsenal £21m
9. Wayne Rooney Man United £20m
10. Michael Ballack Chelsea £18m

Of course Becks will bring his wallet to the US in August. Michael Owen has certainly earnt his money this season. Not. And Robbie is a bit past his prime. Is it any wonder that Ronaldo is a bit pissed off at 'only' earning £9m a year?

Hot - Spurs

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 36 scores

In the tightest finish in years Savchenko Spurs became the 4th team in 5 weeks to go top of probably the best football fantasy league in the world. Ryan's huge 95 points knocked his title rivals sideways and opened a 33 point advantage over East Indian Summer and previous leader Flighty Feet with 4 weeks to go. Dewbs' East Indians were the biggest climber, a massive 5 places as others faltered.

Hannoi Utd drop 2 places to 4th, Cristiano Allstars stay 5th. Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars dropped 2 places and Roubles fall out of the prized places altogether. Christian Dailly Football Genius also slipped further behind the top 7 but NY Eagles gained a place and are 25 points off the big prized places.

Glasgow Kiss, the week 37 MoW quietly moved back into the top 7 from 9th. Kirsty was last in the top 7 in February.

At the bottom the biggest mover was London Irish and Hilary and Lovejoy will have their beady eyes on Epping 'dog walking' club, #1 Strugglers, Thieving Chelsea Gits, Brighton Blues and Living in Sin above them.

Wenners closes gap

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 36 scores
Bollocks to Ballack kept up the heat on Sven & Janas in week 35. I thought that Simmons had it won but Iron Wenners must have an illegal player amongst his ranks or something as his boys chase down the long term leader. The gap is now just 43, the smallest for 8 weeks.

Jonny Forskins is into 3rd, after a league best weekly score, Thank You 4 The Daze stay 4th but Massive Tackle fall to 5th. Vote Seagulls Party remain 6th but Incontentia B uttocks and In Tatters swap places.

Lamb To Slaughter after wholesale changes are 10 points out of the promotion race, Ping Pong 18, Crown Jewells 25 and Glencoe Hammers 34.

At the bottom Sweaty's Revolution are 23 points behind Megan & Hannah's Bears for the rather embarrasing title of the 2nd worst fantasy manager.

Pucker up Kirsty

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 36

Kirsty's Glasgow Kiss och-ayed da noo'd back into the prize places in week 35 with a super 99 point score. It was the Glasgow lass' best score of the season and the 10th best overall.

Savchenko Spurs stormed back to the top of The Premiership after a 13 week absence after hitting their best score of the campaign, a sign of a champion as Ryan hammered 95 points and sits in pole position with just 4 weeks left.

NY Eagles notched 95 and goes into 10th, but it was East Indian Summer who made the biggest impact by climbing 5 places to joint 2nd and Dewbs is the man on form after moving up from the lower half of the table in recent weeks. Mark's 88 points was identical to Dougs' Living in Sin. London Irish helped their relegation chances by scoring 85.

In the Championship Jonny Forskins and the Phullbacks enhanced their promotion prospects with an 83 whereas work mate Wenners, kept his Bollocks to Ballack on the tail of leader Sven & Janas with 82.

Transfers

I know you all getting a tad excited but we have noticed a prolifacy of transfer requests lately that have been wrong, or shall I say misleading. Now I know that it is more over exuberance than cheating but if you could please refrain and check in advance that you only have one transfer left and not ten or that Kevin Lisbie is not the same cost as Cristiano Ronaldo, then we would be appreciative.

You can always ask me for details of your team and number of transfers in advance as this would save us all loads of time and hassle.

Sermon over. Thanks, Nobby & Ready.

Talk about bloody excitement!

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 35 scores
Excuse me for being excited but I am sitting in a Frankie & Benny’s writing this somewhere near Bromley and there are two decent ‘Mothers that lunch’ at the next table….

But that is not the only thing I have to get excited about. Take a look at the top of the N&R Premiership….

I, of course, take all the credit for splitting the league and creating this excitement, not seen since last time Sweaty was seen in Homebase choosing bathroom grout.

Flighty Feet still sit on top (a rather nice thought, if I could be as bold), just 1 point ahead of the Layton Blackham duo of Hannoi Utd and Savchenko Spurs tied in 2nd place. They in turn are only 3 points ahead of young upstart Littig, whose long time leaders Roon & Ron’s rockstars stay 4th.

On their way down to 5th though are Cristiano’s allstars, top just 3 weeks ago, but still only 9 points of the top. East Indian Summer replace Christian Dailly in 7th.

This is all pointing to the closest finish involving probably 8 teams for a very long time.

At the bottom Living in sin, #1 Strugglers, Thieving Chelsea gits and Lovejoy all improved their chances of staying up with fine weekly performances. But things are looking a bit gloomy for Wizzi’z wonders, who drop bang into the relegation hotchpotch.

Knouse one baby!

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 35
Well I never, Nick and Jon finally showed the fantasy football world that they no a little about the beautiful game – to be honest being West Ham and Leeds fans respectively, I was starting to have my doubts. But a rather nice MoW of week prize will be awarded at the end of the season for week 35’s 55 point score, although I am sure the Glencoe Hammers won’t want it to stop there as they chase an outside chance of promotion.

And blow me down with a featherlite but old Nobster weighed in with 52 points to give North of Palarse a boost, a bloody point less than team-mate Brian Dougal, whose Living In Sin have re-awoken.

Then if that wasn’t enough surprises, Francey and his magic spreadsheet produced a stunning 50 to Keep Vote Seagulls' promotion chances on track and dirty Leeds boy Rob Munden also caught us napping with his Thieving Chelsea gits clambering out of the Premiership relegation places for only the 2nd time since the turn of the year by scoring 49. The same as Dewbs’ East Indian Summer.

Title hunter Hannoi Utd masterfully stroked in 48 points, one more than London Irish and two more than Glasgow Kiss and Blackham buddy Savchenko Spurs.

Glencoe lead charge from the pack

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 35 scores
Still the battle over the relegation places, as the title seems a foregone conclusion, the opposite of the Big League. Wenners’ Bollocks to Ballack are up to 2nd again – the 7th time in 8 weeks. Thank you 4 the daze’s nosebleed has stopped and they fall back to 4th.

However it is lower down the table that it gets a bit more interesting as manager's give it their best shot for promotion.

Ping Pong climb another place as Sooz tries to salvage her season. Frank & Beans are still giving it their all. The Glencoe boys had a fantastic week – up 5 places after their week winning performance. Even Nobbage is getting in on the act, North of Palarse jumping to 15th. And a bit lower down Danny Rose’s Rovers move up 4 positions and will still hold slim hopes of a sprint into the top 8.

Bottom still is Sweat’s Revolution, but they are only 20 points off from saving face and winning their entry money back. Megan & Hannah’s bears remain in the penultimate prize spot, as they have done since the turn of the year.

Happy St George's Day

Flight of fancy

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 34 scores
Flighty Feet go back to the top of the Premiership as we enter the final straight. Catherine and Karen scored pretty average in week 34, but it was enough to top last week's joint leaders Cristiano's Allstars and Roon & Ron’s Rockstars. Meanwhile Savchenko Spurs slip into 3rd.

The question is have the Allstars and Rockstars fallen like, well stars? Both the new boys have dominated the league this season but will they be able to see it through or capture one of the big prizes? Or will it be last season’s wonders Flighty Feet, previous champion Hannoi Utd, old stalwart Roubles or maybe even the other new boy Savchenko, who too has had an admirable season.

What is sure is that the top 8 have pulled away, which will mean one team will miss out on a top prize.

The big news at the bottom is that Goonersmoan move off the bottom for the first time since Rutts fall from grace in week 31. Big Bri hammered home a very nifty fifty and clambered two places of the bottom. Lloyds boy Neil Cryer ‘s Underwriting Cop falls backwards whilst Godders’ I still *king hate Chelsea slump to bottom.

There was a time, a time long, long ago, when Pete Godfrey had this fantasy thing mastered. In those heady days Pete was undoubtedly the best football fantasy manager out there but like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, the fitter youngsters have caught up and overtaken him!

Aces high

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 34
Soozie, the lovely Soozie with the big personality collects her first prize money of the season. Her 58 points in week 34 was enough to collect a fiver, although Nobby & Ready will offer to pay her in kind, and not even demand any change!

Frankly Sooz, you & your Ping Pongs have been a disappointment to me and the pit-bull this season. After last year’s title cake walk, we expected similar but like your glorious Arse, you season has been poor. Note to my American friends: Arse is short for Arsenal.

Let’s just hope that Arsene doesn’t leave in the summer and you get Les Reed and his big Windsor knot instead.

Another good scorer was fellow Arse, Brian Rutter (by the way Rutts, I am dragging Jay Smelser out next week for a St Georges Day drink). Goonersmoan hit 50. Barry Paull’s NY Eagles helped themselves to 48, East Indian Summer to 46 and London Irish to 43.

In The Championship Shay’s Foreskins stay in the promotion hunt with an excellent 49 points and Dazed Oakers slammed 45 with Here we go again getting 41.

Al in a daze

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 34 scores
Oakers, who has never won anything in his long N&R FL life, is increasingly threatening to win some cash at the end of the season. Al’s Thank You 4 the daze climbed into 2nd place after a 45 point week, moving above Bollocks to Ballack and Massive Tackle.

Sven and Janas – Bye continue to streak away out front, 85 points ahead of their nearest rival. Lamb to the slaughter continue their good run, whilst In Tatters fall out of the promotion places.

The week's top team Ping Pong Yoyo aces have had a very indifferent season, a real disappointment from last years champion. However her MoW will give Soozie a boost to see if she can make a late charge for the promotion places. Sooz is currently just 27 points behind 8th.

In fact to be honest promotion is still a possibility right down to 23rd. Yep, even Panzo’s Panthers could make it if he can put some points on the board.

Road to Wembley - Watford dream ends

Our boys The Hornets had a miserable week, going out of the FA Cup and getting relegated from the Premiership in 7 days. At Villa Park Wayne Rooney inspired title chasing Manchester United as they broke Watford's brave challenge to reach the first FA Cup final to be held at the new Wembley.

ROONEY powered home a brilliant 20-yard drive after only six minutes, but Watford levelled with HAMEUR BOUAZZAs 26th minute overhead kick.

but Watford's celebrations were shortlived when players Player of the Year CRISTIANO RONALDO then bundled in Rooney's cross two minutes later as United swiftly restored their lead. Then ROONEY's close-range finish wrapped up the win after 66 minutes and substitute KIERAN RICHARDSON chipped in a fourth.

Watford: Lee, Mariappa (Doyley 88), Carlisle, Stewart, DeMerit, Chambers (Kabba 70), Smith, Mahon, Francis, Bouazza, Priskin (King 78).

Subs Not Used: Loach, Bangura.

Attendance: 37,245

MoM: Bouazza

Manchester Utd will now become our final Road to Wembley team and will play Chelsea on May 19th.

Nobby stars in week 33

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 33
Thank you, yes I know, it is very well deserved. About bloody time, do I hear? Oh, you shouldn't, I'm getting embarrassed....

Yes, Nobby stormed to the MoW award in week 33, cleverly biding his time in the pack before making his run to the title. A nearly record score of 36 points saw off all and sundry and propelled North of Crystal Palarse to a gravity defying 18th in the Championship. Now just a few points away from promotion, surely this is only the first fiver of many as Nobs starts his home run. Watch out everyone the Nobby love train is coming through....

..What's that? Eh? You mean I have to share the fiver? 3 ways? What the fuck! Jewelly and Dewbs got the same score as me? I demand a recount.... but don't I have it on goal difference or something? I am the bloody organiser you know....

Little John robbed by King Richard

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 33 scores
What a time for Littig to record his lowest score of the season? Just 14 points for Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars as Cristiano's Allstars joined them at the top of the Premiership in week 33. Richard Nathan, 3rd last week, scoring 26. Flighty Feet are just 2 behind in what is turning out to be a extremely close finish with ex-champion Ready up to 4th as Hannoi Utd hit 31 and Roubles, Savchenko and Christian Dailly are all in close pursuit.

Down the table a tad, NY Eagles were a big climber and Davor's #1 Strugglers and PK's Epping 'dog walking' club all slip a bit close for comfort to the relegation zone. The only change in the bottom 8 was that Nutmeg jumped over London Irish.

Sven & Janas - hello to the title?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 33 scores
Simmo pushed further into the title abyss after week 33. Sven & Janas are now 82 points clear of Bollocks to Ballack after a 33-point week, compared to Wenners 16.

The next 5 teams remain unchanged but into 6th appears Lamb to the slaughter, Glenn's first appearance since February and at the expense of Vote Seagulls Party.

At the bottom of the table Fabulous Fabregas FC drop a place after the week's worst score of 10. Dead bottom team Le Guen's Revolution close the long gap on Megan & Hannah's Bears again.

No week 32

By the way due to those wonderfully inspiring European Championship qualifiers when Steve 'very interesting' McClaren proved that he is a genius (Croatia watch out), there were no Premiership games in week 32.

Normal service has now resumed though, with just 7 weeks left before winners become winners and losers become Scottish supporting Rangers fans. Don't forget your transfers, if you have any left. If you don't know, just ask and I will tell you. Deadline as always is Tuesday at 7pm.

Happy Easter

Steak & BJ day

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 31
Barry Paull's NY Eagles joined the century club in week 31, scoring 102 points, the season's 8th best score of the campaign. Top 7 challenger East Indian Summer was next up with 93, followed by Muddy Funsters with 87.

Davor's #1 Strugglers hit a home run with 86, his best of the season, the same as Hannoi Utd. Living in Sin didn't seem so bad in the week which includes Steak and BJ day. All a bit of a moutful I find but Brian came to work with 85 points and a smile.

3rd placed Cristiano's Allstars kept up the pressure with 84 and so did Roubles, who scored 82.

Just to highlight the burgeoning gap between the Premiership and the Championship, the 2nd tier's best score was the 10th best overall in week 31. James Down's Massive Tackle (sic) was the man with the 81 points, which moved him up a spot in the table.

The weeks, hardly really low score, was made jointly by The Underwriting Cop and Athletico Albertawe with 32 points.

Gooner, Gooner, Gone

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 31 scores
Some slight cosmetic changes in the top 6 after week 31. Flighty Feet closed the gap on Rockstars to just 11 and Cristiano's Allstars are right on the girls' tail in 3rd. The next 4 teams are all within reach although a small void is appearing after Christian Dailly in 7th.

The teams chasing the top 7 are starting to fall behind. Glasgow kiss and Brighton Blues and are both losing ground, Muddy Funsters are trying to hang in there, so I would be looking at Epping 'dog walking' club, #1 Strugglers and most definitely East Indian Summer to break away from the pack and make a serious challenge.

In the relegation places the week's top scorer was Barry Paull (see, him buying me those beers last week in Chicago is a lesson to you all - I am always open to a bribe) and the NY Eagles fly out of the drop zone.

Bottom of the lot now is Goonersmoan, who have successfully made the transition from top 7 to the very bottom in 7 whole weeks. Congratulations Brian!

Kennett playing with the big boys

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 31 scores Sven & Janas further increased their lead after week 31's scores and are now a dazzling 75 points clear of Bollocks to Ballack in 2nd. Back up to 3rd are Massive Tackle with the Championship's best weekly score and into 6th are In Tatters.

New into the promotion race is that little minx Ian Kennett. The long-time N&R manager has found a bit of form in recent weeks and has been knocking on the door of the top 8 and in week 31 someone let him in. Incontentia B uttocks banged in 64 points, his highest of the season and find themselves playing with the big boys in 8th.

Here we go again fell a few places but Frank & Beans gained one. Los Cusingos were another climber up 4 to 14th, Martin was another bloke who rattled in a season's best in week 31.

At the bottom Megan & Hannah's Bears stay in James Bird's penultimate place for the 11th consecutive week with a nice gap either side of them. Huw Thomas is in steep reverse after scoring an otherwise healthy 32 but low in a high scoring week. Athletico Albertawe fell 4 places to 4 to 21st. Huw was in 7th back in late January.

The real thing - League Two

A look at the English and Scottish leagues, I know not all of our managers are glory boys, and us Addicks need to start remembering the name of some of these teams!

Lets start with League Two. Hartlepool look nailed on. Relegated last season. Jeff Stelling's Monkey Hangers are well on their way back to League One, a league they almost got out of in the play-offs 2 seasons ago.

Walsall have been up there all season and under ex-Fulham defender Richard Money, who has done a fine job after The Saddlers were also relegated last season. Swindon were also relegated last season and have spent some money in the recent transfer window to find that last push for promotion. They look a strong bet but it is tight and it will probably go until the final game, when Walsall and Swindon meet.

MK Dons, also known as Franchise FC, will not have the neutrals support but Martin Allen surprised a lot of people last season by walking out on Brentford for MK Dons, although their future ground plans could not be more apart. They have a bit of a rough run-in but Allen's expereince and never say die attitude could see them into the play-offs.

Beyond these 4, I would have said up and until a few games ago that Stockport were the most likely to break into the group but they haven't won for 4 games culminating in a 7-2 home thrashing to Rochdale Saturday!

Shrewsbury, Darlington, Bristol Rovers, Notts County are all within grasp of the top 7 but Lincoln and Wycombe hold the upper hand. Watch Peterborough though under Darren Ferguson, who have lost only twice under his control.

My top 7 (3 automatically promoted):
Hartlepool
Walsall
MK Dons
Swindon
Lincoln
Stockport
Peterborough

Two go down to the abyss which is the Conference and Torquay after being a league team since 1921 sadly look absolute favourites to disappear. The other team is harder to pick. Barnet have made a run for it and Accrington Stanley looked to have put a nice run together. The success story is that of Macclesfield though. Surely Paul Ince didn't have to cut his teeth at rock bottom of League Two but absolute credit to the man, and he has done superbly and with his passion and belief The Silkmen should stay up.

Boston, Bury and Wrexham don't seem so lucky though. It looks in Boston's hands, they play all of the bottom teams. Bury and Wrexham are both skint and I think it will be one of these famous old clubs that will drop with Torquay.

My bottom 2:
Bury
Torquay.

The real thing - League One

In the depths of the 3rd Division, sorry Francey, League One, favourites Nottingham Forest are going backwards. Complaints by fans of Colin Calderwood's long ball tactics not working have coincided with losing ground on leaders Scunthorpe. Bristol City are also going well in 2nd with Russell Slade's Yeovil in 4th.

Scunny have been the surprise team of the season. After taking over from long-serving Brian Laws in November, former physio and goalkeeping coach Nigel Adkins surprisingly took over and has overseen just one defeat in 20 league games.

Oldham could also force their way into the reckoning as could other pre-season tips Swansea and Tranmere. However Blackpool have made a good run but Doncaster and Carlisle have slipped out of contention. Brighton are 13 points off a play-off place.

My top 6:
Scunthorpe
Bristol City
Nottm Forest
Yeovil
Oldham
Blackpool

At the bottom poor old Rotherham look gonners (they are 250/1 to avoid the drop). They started the season with a 10-point deduction as a result of their financial troubles remember and although Alan Knill gave it a good shot moving his team to near midtable after Christmas, he was forced to sell the clubs best two players, Lee Williamson and Will Hoskins to Watford in the transfer window, which secured the financial future of The Millers but ended their run of good results. Knill was then sacked nice and they are now 9 points from safety.

Brentford have had a dreadful season, showing how valuable Martin Allen was. They too look dead and buried. Otherwise it looks two from Cheltenham, Chesterfield and Bradford after Millwall and Leyton Orient fled the relegation zone with some ease, The Lions to the tail end of the play-offs.

My bottom 4:
Chesterfield
Cheltenham
Brentford
Rotherham

The real thing - The Conference

The Daggers after years of being so close to promotion to the big time are finally on the doorstep. They lead the Conference by 11 points with ex-Millwall goalie Tony Roberts in outstanding form at one end and 26-goal Paul Benson at the other and with 7 games to go they are so close.

2 go up, the champion and one from a play-off involving 4 teams. 10 teams can probably claim to be in with a shout. Oxford, who are pulling in massive average crowds of 6,300 lead the way under Jim Smith. Other relative big boys York City are in there as well with their massive away following seeing them win 11 games away from home this season.

Morecombe under Sammy McIlroy are yet again in play-off contention as are Nigel Clough's Burton Rovers. Just below them are Exeter and Stevenage, who have games in hand. Ex-Charlton striker Charlie MacDonald has led the goalscoring charts all season with Gravesend & Northfleet, but they have recently slipped out of the play-off places.

Another ex-Addick Jason Tindall is doing his best to steady the Weymouth ship after an eventful year of goings on behind the scenes but they like having too much to do as do Aldershot and Kidderminster.

My top 5:
Dagenham & Redbridge
Oxford
York City
Stevenage
Gravesend & Northfleet

Just as an aside because I found it interesting the following managers all operate in the Conference. This used to be the league where managers cut their teeth, i.e. Nigel Clough but recently some 'big' names have taken jobs at Conference clubs, which just shows how hard it is to get back to managing a league club after being sacked:

John Still (Dagenham & Redbridge), Jim Smith (Oxford), Billy McEwan (York), Sammy McIlroy (Morecambe), Jimmy Quinn (Cambridge), Gary Mills (Tamworth) and Peter Davenport (Southport).

The Haggis League

Of course the English Premiership is as boring as the SPL these days but at least the SFA try to freshen things up a bit.

Today saw the announcement of a new set of fixtures to decide European qualification and relegation. The top 6 each now play each other once and the bottom six will do the same. It looks a bit complicated but credit to the SFA for trying to make the end of season interesting. Here is how it works.

Celtic 'won' the title ages ago despite losing their last two games (they had lost only one up until 2 weeks ago). They are 13 points ahead of fierce rivals Rangers, who at least have bragging rights in Glasgow after their recent 1-0 victory. Rangers have shaken off the challenges of Hearts and a revitalised Aberdeen, who should grab 3rd. Hearts meanwhile sacked their latest manager last week.

At the bottom Dunfermline look likely to go down with Gretna continuing their fantastic journey from Division's three to two to one and the Premier in 3 seasons. The border town with a population of just 2,700 have been relative big spenders and move into a new 6,000 capacity stadium in the summer.

If anyone is interested this is an article written recently on how the structure of Scottish Football is outdated and three times more expensive to run it's peers.

The real thing - The Championship

The Premiership gets all the focus and media attention but it's boring and predictable isn't? However meanwhile the Coca Cola Championship with around about 7-8 games left is wide open. Anyone of 10 teams can still gain promotion with only 5 points separating the top 4 and at the bottom 10 teams are involved in the relegation dogfight with just 5 points between the bottom 7.

The leaders often change over a weekend, with Derby the current incumbents. Billy Davies was my choice last summer for the Charlton job and his has proven his worth with The Rams after walking away from Preston in the summer. The interesting fact and the reason it is so close is that Derby have lost 10 games this season, Reading last year lost just two.

Birmingham are most people's favourites and with Andy Cole adding even more fire power to McSheffrey, DJ Campbell and Jerome they have some real firepower. They are pretty deadly at home as well but have struggled recently away from St Andrews.

Now, hands up who thought Roy Keane would do as well as he has done? I don't think I did. However he has taken a low on confidence bedraggled squad, added some Irish and Trinidad players and inspired them to clim the table and put themselves in with a real chance. If they don't make the top two, I think they will be hard to beat in the play-offs.

Preston are very topsy-turvy but they can score goals, which is half the battle in this division. they have been close so many times before but need to put a run together in the final part of the season to not come out as the bridesmaids again. Wolves fan's slated Mick McCarthy early in the season but he has slowly built a good team but they struggle for goals. I think they will miss out.

The league's leading scorers West Brom under Tony Mowbray still have top two potential if they can re-find the consistency they had early when Mowbray first arrived.

I think below them teams are looking at play-offs. Cardiff don't quite seem to have the quality especially with out Michael Chopra but Southampton do. George Burley has brought in some experience to mix with the youth players he inherited and they have good play-off potential but I have just looked at their run-in, and it's tough.

Stoke's team is almost all made up of loan players. They also lack an out and out goalscorer but their run in is good. Colchester have had an amazing season with their tiny ground and lack of resources. Journeyman Jamie Cureton has weighed in with 17 goals and has been instrumental in the U's success.

Below these teams I think it is unlikely that anyone will challenge but I will throw one name in the hat - Coventry. Iain Dowie's record since he took over is Won 4, Drew 2, Lost 0. Their run-in's not easy but how much would Dowie like to breeze by Simon Jordan's Palace and grab a last minute play-off spot?

My top 6:
Derby
Birmingham
Sunderland
Preston
West Brom
Southampton

At the bottom. How the mighty have fallen, a lesson of how not to operate a football club and then employ historically one of your biggest rivals ex-chairman and ex-players. Dirty Leeds, what a story, a lesson to those that support big clubs and think they are indestructible. Just like Notts Forest and Sheffield Wednesday once were. I think Man City (who battled back from the depths of despair once before) have all the ingredients of being the next Leeds. Sorry Rob, but despite a recent up turn in form I think its goodbye.

The one thing that Leeds and Southend both have in common is that they have closed the gap on the teams above them. Southend have 3 good players that will get them goals - Eastwood, Campbell Ryce and Lloyd Sam (on loan from Charlton). Luton are a disaster. Mike Newell is finally history after having what seemed a death wish. All the good work done their collapsing in a few months. Hull have their top scorer out on loan at Stoke but it is in their own hands and Phil Brown has steadied the ship. With experience like Ray Parlour and Nicky Barmby I think they will scrape it.

Burnley need to pick up some wins. The early play-off contenders are 18 games without a win and if they don't watch they could go. QPR have an awful run in and I don't like their manager either. Barnsley are probably the team the bottom 3 are hoping to catch. They have lost a lot of games and drawn few.

My bottom 3:
Leeds
QPR
Luton

Team Challenge - Blackham Leadham

The Ready-led Layton Blackham team of Keith, Ryan and Huw top the N&R Team Challenge after 30 weeks, just 5.25 points ahead of asterling performance from Aon US, with John Littig driving the Yanks forward trying to be the first non-American winner of one of N&R's top prizes.

The well stocked teams of AIG and Aon Re are in 4th and 5th respectively, which is an excellent achievement with the numbers of managers in each team. Just behind them are Willis, with Kirsty leading the point scoring and then previous league leaders Aspen.

It's tight in midtable with 7.5 points only separating BMS, Marsh and the eclectic Lloyds boys, who have dropped like a rock. The Ex-Pats in 10th are being badly let down by Nobby & Stouty. Then there is a big gap to the bottom two RSA, with ex-Allianz boys Jenkins and Day and bringing up the rear are JLT.

The table will accompany the latest email and a Team Challenge update will follow soon.

Littig and Byatt score hole in ones

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 30
The Prem teams proved why they are a division higher in week 30 holing the best 8 scores. Littig's rockstars and Byatt's Lovejoys will share the week's fiver (that's about $1.50, John) after both stroked 36 points. Littig opens up a lead at the top while Byatt moves closer to the top 7.

Other title contenders Hannoi Utd and Roubles also had good rounds with 33 and 35 respectively. And Christian Dailly Football Genius scored a par with 31 points. The top 7 teams have opened a little gap now ahead of Glasgow kiss appearing.

Two teams that have struggled chipped out well in week 30. PK's Epping 'dog walking' club clubbed 30 and Thieving Chelsea Gits putted 31 and both improve their positions.

And the boy from Croatia wedged in with 28 to halt a poor run of rounds for Davor's #1 Strugglers.

Crown Jewells were the best Championship team going round in 28.

Toilet

So, you lot are getting worse. Yeah, I know I can't talk but heck where's my name on the list of the biggest load of toilet scores? Exactly and now I've made some transfers, Simmo - you better watch out son!

It was a dreadful week of low scores in the N&R FL. Huw Thomas' Athletico Abertawe, who have been going backwards hit a round zero, to equal Rob Beere's worst weekly score and joining them was Rutt's Goonersmoan.

Then we only got 1 point from Rose's Rovers and Michael Stout's Ball Hogs. Then previous champion Soozie Syrett's Ping Pong Yoyo Aces slumped to just 2 points.

Here is a revised worst weekly score list:

1= Rob Beere, week 7, 0 points

1= Brian Rutter, week 30, 0 points

1= Huw Thomas, week 30, 0 points

4= Danny Rose, week 30, 1 point

4= Michael Stout, week 30, 1 point

6= Rob Beere, week 28, 2 points

6= Soozie Syrett, week 30, 2 points

8. James Bird, week 24, 3 points

9= Brian Rutter, week 28, 4 points

9= Peter Godfrey, week 27, 4 points

9= Alex Boswell, week 30, 4 points

12= Ian France, week 27, 5 points

12= Ryan Saveall, week 24, 5 points

12= Shay Reddy, week 26, 5 points

15= Peter Doyle, week 28, 6 points

15= Danny Rose, week 28, 6 points

St. John

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 30 scores
A surge ahead in week 30 by Littig's Rockstars. John's joint best weekly score of 36 saw him move 21 points ahead at the top of the Premiership. Flighty Feet remain 2nd but both Cristiano's allstars and Roubles close the gap on them.

Watch Lovejoy's luvvies in 10th though who have climbed up from the lower reaches in recent weeks. Epping 'dog walking' club are another team on the up.

In the relegation zone NY Eagles (I'm seeing Barry this week for beers) drop into it for the first time while Thieving Chelsea Gits haul themselves out for the first time.

At the bottom 16 points for I Still *ing Hate Chelsea meant that Pete is now just a point behind Goonersmoan, who 7 weeks ago were 7th.

Is Simmons already up?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 30 scores
Another 5 points is how much Sven & Janas extended their lead at the top of the pile after week 30 and with a third of the season gone is it unreasonable to say that Mark will be enjoying promotion from the Championship? Lamb to the slaughter are 123 points behind in 9th but Mark will be looking to sweep the title prize and not just promotion. The next seven teams remain the same with the exception of Jonny Forskins who drop to 5th.

Here we go again climb a bit closer to the top as do Crown Jewells and Frank & Beans are in 10th. However I reckon anyone all the way down to Panzo in 23rd could still make a run for promotion with a ton of points still to play for.

At the bottom has anyone else noticed how Sweaty's Le Guen's Revolution are slowly closing the gap at the bottom? No, I thought not!

Dave is no egg-head

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 29

Wizzo's 2nd MoW snag in week 28 after his boy Wonders hammered 69 points to keep up with the pacemakers in the Premiership. Dave will be devasted by his beloved Hammers' season but should be proud of his first N&R FL but there is no truth though that Eggert Magnusson works at Aspen and Dave is the Chairman of West Ham Utd.

Johnny Mac's Roubles FC stuck some celery up bums in week 28 after they sank 66 points to move up 3 notches.

In the Championship Sven & Janas topped out with 60 points and open up their lead at the top. Rapid Ginger also scored well with 51, a vast improvement on the previous weeks 6 for the rabbit.

Then back in the top tier a host of teams scored high. The top 3 - Rockstars (53), Flighty Feet (50) and Cristiano's allstars (58) all carry their excellent form onwards.

East Indian Summer did well with 57, a point more than Brighton Blues. Then two strugglers Thieving Chelsea Gits and I Still *ing Hate Chelsea both scored high in week 29. Rob's white gods nabbing 50 and Godders, who is surprisingly propping up the division and not a bar, scored 4 more but remains bottom of the table.

Sven & Janas - hello

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 29 scores
Not much to report in the lower tier of the N&R FL. Massive Tackle gain a place as do Vote Seagulls Party and In Tatters jump two places. Sven & Janas did have a superb week though tapping in a nice 60 points, which takes them 54 points clear.

Lamb to the slaughter slip after a good week 28 and Athletico Abertawe likewise. Rose's Rovers are also in reverse gear after another poor performance. The fact is though that only 39 points separate Francey in 6th to previous champion Doyley, whose charges Racing Ginger are in 16th.

The bottom 8 remain unchanged.

Not much to choose between top 7

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 29 scores
Still not much between the top 7 teams, just 47 points split leaders Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars and Christian Dailly in 7th. Behind them Brighton Blues and Glasgow kiss are tucked in tight, although young Ms Haggis slips out of the prized places for the first time since the turn of the year.

MoW Dave Wisdom saw his Wonders climb a few places into 12th as #1 Strugglers and Lovejoy lose ground.

At the bottom status quo remains for the worst 8 although Thieving Chelsea Gits do improve their position.

Rockstars top the hit parade again

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 28 scores
The 11 point gain by Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars over Flighty Feet was enough for John Littig to regain the lead in the Premiership after losing it 5 weeks ago. Littig who has a bag of transfers available as well has taken to this 'soccer' lark like a fish to water, even though I take full credit for helping him pick his team.

Ready's Hannoi Utd storm into the top 5 after a MoW performance. Keith's 63 points means that he moves up 4 places whilst his colleague Ryan also closes in on the leaders after Savchenko scored 47 and sits in 3rd place pushing Cristiano's Allstars to lowest position they have been since January.

In a week of all change in the top division Christian Dailly Football Genius move up to 7th and a prized place. Muddy Funsters drop out of contention and so do Roubles FC, who have been up there since the beginning of the league split. A big climber was Lovejoys Luvvies, who gain 5 spots after whacking in 51 points.

Down at the relegation end of the business NY Eagles hover a bit close to danger while Living in Sin actually drop into the bottom 8 as the Epping 'dog walking' club move out.

The Underwriting cop also made ground after a good week but Goonersmoan and 2Infinity & beyond both fall deeper into the doo-doo!

Never mind the Ballacks

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 28 scores
Wenners' Bollocks to Ballack hauled in Sven & Janas' lead to 33 points in week 28 after a week of good scoring. In 3rd is Oakers' Thank You 4 The Daze, up a place.

Lamb to the slaughter re-enter the promotion places after a 4 week absence after scoring 36 points and Pete Doherty for Allianz do likewise after hitting sweet 16. Athletico Abertawe are back knocking on the door after a poor turn out last week. Out of the top 8 are In Tatters and more surprisingly Rose's Rovers, who have occupied a promotion place since the turn of the year.

Frank & Beans also move up within 5 points of 8th and only 30 points separate 8th and Los Cusingos in 16th.

At the lower end Californication hurdle the forlorn North of Crystal Palarse.

Ready puts another one on the board

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 27
Ready picked up his 2nd MoW award in week 27 after a thunderous 63 points swept Hannoi Utd up to 5th in the Premiership. The Underwriting cop carried forward their improved form with 56, their best since December. Loverjoy also did a lot better with 51, which saw a vast improvement in their position in the Premiership.

Meanwhile in the Championship Bollocks to Ballack's excellent week saw them rise to 2nd and Thank you 4 the daze also ride the wave to 3rd.

Back in the Prem, Epping 'dog walking' club, Savchenko and Christian Dailly Football Genius all benefited from good scores. And the Rockstars 39 points saw them return to the top of the league.

The worst performers were Rob's Fabulous Fabregas FC with just 2. This now means that Rob Beere has the two worst weekly scores of the season. Well done.

The season's worst weekly scores

Rob Beere is doing himself proud in these stakes. Remember there is a 25 quid prize for this, god knows why anyhow here are the top 10 worst weekly scores up and until week 28:

1. Rob Beere, week 7, 0 points
2. Rob Beere, week 28, 2 points
3. James Bird, week 24, 3 points
4= Brian Rutter, week 28, 4 points
4= Peter Godfrey, week 27, 4 points
6= Ian France, week 27, 5 points
6= Ryan Saveall, week 24, 5 points
6= Shay Reddy, week 26, 5 points
9= Peter Doyle, week 28, 6 points
9= Danny Rose, week 28, 6 points

Those were the daze my freunde

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 27
Oakers' Thank you 4 the daze collected his first MoW this season with a fine run to the finish in week 27 scoring 39 points. A fiver for the Munich boy. Lee Day's Make that 3 chickens sauntered into 2nd place with his old mucker Jenks' Pete Doherty for Allianz, both RSA boys notching 34 points.

Christian Dailly and Savchenko Spurs both netted 31, two more than Los Cusingos and the improving Panzo's Panthers.

The weeks worst effort was enjoyed by Godders' I Still *ing Hate Chelsea.

Flighty Feet grip loosened

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 27 scores
Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars hurdle Cristiano's allstars to go back into 2nd but more crucially both reel back into the fray Flighty Feet whose lead drops to 5 points. In 4th remain Glasgow kiss but only 5 points separate them from the next two teams Savchenko and Roubles. Muddy Funsters stay 7th.

Eleswhere including the bottom there wasn't much change.

Forskins pulled back

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 27 scores
Bollocks to Ballack moved nicely into 2nd place after week 26 overtaking Massive Tackle. Meanwhile Wenners team mate Shay Reddy's Jonny Forskins , who were top 3 weeks ago now slip to 5th.

Team of the week Thank You 4 The Daze stay 4th whilst Vote Seagulls Party and In Tatters tie for 6th. Rose's Rovers stay 8th.

Pete Doherty for Allianz gain 5 places as they attempt to climb back into the mix but Athletico Abertawe go in the opposite direction.

Le Guen's Revolution stay bottom despite an improved performance.

Road to Wembley - Hornets beat plucky Pilgrims

Watford scraped into the semi-finals of the FA Cup but were made to work for their progress by a valiant Plymouth.

HAMUER BOUAZZA powered in a left-foot shot (can be seen here in 3D) to put the visitors ahead but the goal galvanised Plymouth. Watford keeper Ben Foster palmed away a Kevin Gallen free-kick and denied Sylvan Ebanks-Blake when one-on-one as Plymouth created plenty of chances But despite being roared on by the Home Park fans they were frustrated by Foster and their lack of a finishing touch as they bowed out of the competition.

Watford team: Foster, Mariappa, Shittu, DeMerit, Powell, Smith, Francis, Mahon, Bouazza, Kabba (Chambers 59), Priskin (Henderson 73).
Subs Not Used: Lee, Doyley, Rinaldi.
Att: 20,652
MoM: Foster

Therefore the Hornets continue to be our team of choice for the 3rd time but sadly for them they did not manage to avoid the 'big guns' in the semi and were drawn against the winners of Middlesbro and Man U. The date for the semi's are the weekend of 14-15th April, with the neutral venue yet to be decided.

Full draw:
Watford v Middlesbrough or Man Utd
Chelsea or Tottenham v Blackburn.

Road to Wembley - Watford v Plymouth

Our Road to Wembley team Watford have a great chance to make the semi-finals this weekend when they travel to Plymouth Argyle. Spare a thought for Hornets fans though who have to travel 500 miles on a Sunday evening to watch their team after BBC One decided to show the game live after the England v France 6 Nations game.

Wizzi of Oz

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 26
A more sedate week this one after last week's high rolling. It was Wizzi's wonders though who snapped up the fiver and moved 4 places higher and seemingly well away from the relegation problems below him. Glencoe Hammers continued their improved form with another neat week, Nick and Jon moving to the safety of midtable. I wonder what Jon makes of the shenanigans going on down at his beloved Upton Park. Last time I had a beer with him he was regaling me with stories of European football after they signed Teves and that other dumb arse, Mascherano. the signing of whom may now get them a points deduction too.

Championship leader Sven & Janas continue to rule the roost with another 40 points, while Hannoi Utd and NY Eagles also had good weeks. It was noticable that Simmons' main challenger Shay Reddy had the week's worst score with Jonny Forskins scoring just 5, his worst of the season by a country mile.

Tackle slide into 2nd

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 26 scores
Massive tackle are now in 2nd place, just 3 weeks after they were in 12th. James is a huge 56 point behind league leader Sven & Janas though. The rest of the top 8 remain unaltered.

Athletico Abertawe were a big climber into 9th as Pete Doherty for Allianz go the other way. It is tight though with only 50 points separating 9th from 18th.

Glencoe Hammers picked it up though with a excellent week and are in 17th but my own North of Crystal Palarse fall to a season low 21st.

Feet firmly on top

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 26 scores
Flighty Feet remain at the top of the pole 9 points ahead of Cristiano's Allstars who closed the gap by 1 point in week 26. Rooney & Ronaldo's rockstars are in 3rd with Glasgow kiss, Roubles FC and Savchenko Spurs have a little shuffle around. Ryan had a poor week and that is the 2nd time in 3 weeks that he had the lowest weekly score. In 7th stays Muddy Funsters.

Below them Hannoi Utd move up 2 places, Living in Sin drop 4 and Wizzi's wonders climb 4.

At the bottom PK's Epping 'dog walking' club fall backwards into the relegation zone while NY Eagles pass them going the other way.

Massive but not as big as Littig's

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 25
James Down’s Massive tackle (sic) stormed to week 25’s top score with a wondrous 114 points, second only to John Littig's 132 points in week 20. This moves him up 9 places in The Championship, who have a new leader in Mark Simmons. Sven and Janas top the table after a 109 point week, relegating Jonny Forskins to 2nd. Jonny scored 64.

The next big hitters all came from The Premiership. East Indian Summer burnt 107, Cristiano’s allstars hit back with 105 but new table-toppers Flighty Feet slammed 103 and become the top birds for the first time.

Wizzi’s wonders blew out of the relegation pack with a 102 point score and Muddy Funsters climb into the prized places with 101.

Christian Dailey and Thieving Chelsea gits (I can only assume Rob means Messrs Bates, Wise and Poyet) both scored a fine 93.

Goonersmoan who have now successfully moved from 6th to 20th in 3 weeks had week 25’s worst score of 35.

The season's best weekly scores

James Down's effort in week 25 was startling but not as startling as John Littig's 132 points, a N&R FL 11 year record, scored back in December. All the more amazing when you consider John Littig is an American and I picked his team for him!

The top 10 best weekly scores:
1. John Littig, week 20, 132 points
2. James Down, week 25, 114 points
3. Ben Graves, week 20, 113 points
4. Mark Simmons, week 25, 109 points
5. Mark Dewberry, week 25, 107 points
6. Richard Nathan, week 25, 105 points
7. Barwick/Higgs, week 25, 103 points
8. Dave Wisdom, week 25, 102 points
9= Aaron Barden, week 25, 101 points
9= Brian Dougal, week 20, 101 points

Putting their feet up

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 25 scores
The remarkable story of Higgs and Barwick continued in week 25 after the girl’s Flighty Feet hit top spot in the table. Last year's Championship winners, Serie A champions and now Premiership league leaders after an excellent 103 point week, their season best.

Rooney & Ronaldo, who look to be leading Man Utd to the title, have to settle for 2nd place in the N&R Premiership after slipping from the top. Into 3rd are another United connection Cristiano’s allstars. Savchenko and Glasgow kiss lose a place whilst Roubles FC stay where they are.

New into the top places are young Aaron Barden’s Muddy Funsters, up 2 spots. Brighton Blues remain 8th.

One of the biggest climbers was Dewbs’ East Indian Summer. Up 5 places into the top half after two weeks in the drop zone. Another manager who jumped 5 places was Dave Wisdom, whose Wonders also escape the bottom 8.

Rutts and Barry Paull are both heading in the other direction though. Goonersmoan particularly are in reverse are being in the top 7 last week meaning quite an achievement of dropping 13 places in week 25. Barry’s NY Eagles fall 4 places.

I Still *ing Hate Chelsea remain bottom but the Underwriting Cop fall 3 to be just 14 ahead of bottom place.

Top of the Mark

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 25 scores
109 points was enough for Sven & Janas - bye to hit the top spot in week 25 moving dramatically ahead of Jonny Forskins. It was Simmo's highest score of the season and takes him back to the top of The Championship after a two week sojourn.

The rather big news in this division was the emergence of James Down as a real promotion candidate after a 114 point slug - the 2nd best of the season. Massive Tackle jump 9 whole places to 3rd and James was not the only new face in the top 8 in week 25. Wenners' Bollocks to Ballack and In Tatters joined him after fine weeks scoring 88 and 80 respectively.

Three teams drop out of the top 8 - Ping Pong, Lamb to the slaughter and Pete Doherty for Allianz.

Glencoe Hammers were the best at the bottom scoring 57.