Week 28 overview

FA Cup week in the N&R FL.

Stoke won at Crawley 2-0, Stevenage held Spurs, Liverpool put 6 past Brighton with 3 o.g.'s on target! Chelsea were held 1-1 at the Bridge by Brum with AVB under more pressure.

Our boys Everton beat Blackpool 2-0. Bolton came out of their league torper to win 2-0 at The Den, Leicester done what a lot of Prem teams haven't been able to and beat Norwich at Carrow Road and in the round's big shock, or was it, Sunderland bet Arsenal 2-0 at the SoL.

N&R Weekly Bet

Ready collected in week 27. Mind you he was pretty conservative with his selections.

Week 27:
Nobby:
Newcastle v Wolves AWAY - WRONG
Stoke v Swansea AWAY - WRONG
QPR v Fulham HOME - WRONG

£2 stake. Winning potential £137.92. Winnings £0

Ready:
Chelsea v Bolton HOME - CORRECT
Norwich v Man Utd AWAY - CORRECT
Man C v Blackburn HOME - CORRECT

£2 stake. Winning potential £4.58. Winnings £4.58

Running total:
Ready £27.08 (positive)
Nobby £18.24 (negative)

The two most recent weeks. Soon I will join Pompey and Rangers in administration.

Week 26:
Nobby:
DRAW - WRONG
Tottenham v Wolves HOME - WRONG
Newcastle v QPR HOME - CORRECT

£2 stake. Winning potential £21.44. Winnings £0

Ready:
Wigan v Man C AWAY - CORRECT
Man Utd v Bolton HOME - CORRECT
Tottenham v Wolves HOME - WRONG

£2 stake. Winning potential £4.20. Winnings £0

Week 22:
Nobby
Bolton v Liverpool AWAY - WRONG
Arsenal v Man U HOME - WRONG
Everton v Blackburn HOME - WRONG

£2 stake. Winning potential £14.08. Winnings £0

Ready
Norwich v Chelsea AWAY - WRONG
Everton v Blackburn HOME - WRONG
Stoke v WBA HOME - WRONG

£2 stake. Winning potential £9.58. Winnings £0

Running total:
Ready £22.50 (positive)
Nobby £16.24 (negative)

Photograph of the week

Liverpool won their first trophy for 6 years beating a brave Cardiff 3-2 on pens after an exciting finish to extra time when Cardiff equalised to make it 2-1 in the last minute. Cardiff were hoping to be the first Welsh team to win a major trophy since 1927.

Frank Carson RIP

"He went peacefully at his home in Blackpool surrounded by his greatest fans - his extended family. We will be taking him home to Belfast to lay him to rest and celebrate his joyful life. "It's quieter down here now. God help them up there!!" read a family statement.

It's the way I tell 'em.
Telegragh Obituary; The Guardian.

A letter from Europe

From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Photograph of the week

Newcastle have played at St James' Park since 1905. In November the club said they planned to change the name of the ground, but only temporarily as it hoped to "showcase" the sponsorship opportunity to "interested parties".

Club owner Mike Ashley has said the new stadium will be called 'The Sports Direct Arena' named after his own company.

The St James' Park sign was removed from Newcastle United's football ground this week to make way for its new name but twice this week 'vandals' have scrawled in the space in the above photograph 'St James' Park.'

Photograph of the week

Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas says the club's hierarchy should make it clear they back his vision for the Blues' long-term future. Oh dear, this will only end one way.

Perm anyone from six?

N&R Division 1 - week 27 update
The title race looks like it will be between the top 6. I have to include Guinness & eggs because every season since Steve joined the N&R FL he has made a fantastic late run (no pressure buddy).

Boys on tour are in pole position and have been since Christmas. Tanus Terriers are currently 30 odd points adrift in 2nd, and Magnificent Eleven in 3rd.

Bagpuss is having another good season and has transfers in the bank, Woody's Round Up impressed last season too.

Financial Bale Out has a lot of N&R FL expereince and has won titles before (Europa Cup (09/10).

Below these guys lies a host of manangers who could still have a big say in the title race. Harry Houdini is very consistent but I would pick one of Paris Eagles, Hannoi Utd or To Elland Back to make a late springtime charge.

Relegation looks a cert for CHAMP19NS, Ted Striker, ex-champ Sainsbury's Maggotts LMFC and our Tokyo correspondent Asahi Kirin Sapporo Saki Eight. The others are still in with a shout of safety - remember no parachute payments here. Oh no.

Each manager is only ever a timely clever transfer or two away for a couple of big weekly gains.

Promotion the main goal

N&R Division 2 - week 27 update
Dalton Worblers are 20 points ahead of closest rival Dynamo Chicken Kiev, who climb over Pimp my side. 2Infinity & beyond have all the tools of a previous champion and are looking dangerous in 4th place.

Pure Irish, top for so long earlier in the season are still looking good for promotion (over a 100 points head of 12th place) and in 6th is another ex-champ Mrs Soozie Sav.

With 14 weeks left there is still a lot of fantasy points to play for, but I would have to say the Div 2 title looks to be a battle between the Worblers, Kiev, Pimpers, 2Infinity and Irish.

Of course others can make a run, and without a doubt someone will. That person could be someone like Glasgow kiss looking good at present in 8th.

For the others promotion to the big time has to be the goal now but anyone down to Jason Syrett in 22nd has a chance of the top 12.

Week 27 overview

Spurs drubbed sorry Newcastle 5-0 as the noise for 'Arry for England got louder. Norwich had a terrific win at Swansea, Arsenal won late at Sunderland. King Henry scoring in injury time.

Fulham beat Stoke, who are in a bad run of form, Everton disposed of Chelsea putting pressure on AVB, Wigan won at Bolton, who were booed off, Blackburn had a big win at home to QPR and apparently there was a game of football at Old Trafford and United beat Liverpool 2-1!

On Sunday City won at Villa Park and West Brom thrashed Black Country rivals Wolves 5-1 and it's goodbye Mick.

Sav, Sav, Saveloy

Manager of the Week - week 27
Sav's first MoW after collecting 68 points in week 27. Close behind was Ryan's old mucker Ready with 60 and in 3rd wa Brett Davey with 59.

Wardy managed a 58, the same as Steve Black, who will no doubt make his annual late bid for the title. On form Daniel Weeks and Rosie Dalton both hit 52 and Tim Harris 50.

Other notables worth mentioning in week 27 were Andrew Shepherd 49, Kate Chillman 45, Daniel Duboux 37, Davor 33, Tim & Dennis 32, Pk 28, Oakers 21 and the two bottom feeders John Hardiman and Ginger Rabbit both with 13. Unlucky for some.

Famous old football kits

I haven't done one of these for a while, but just as a refresher to all you Arsenal fans. This was the 1997/8 double winning top worn by such greats as Wright, Adams, Merson, Bergkamp and Keown. Not a 17-year old Frenchman amongst them.

The 2012 N&R Cup 1st Round Proper Draw

Here we go. The draw has been made in the office of Simon J Newport for this year's Nobby & Ready Cup 1st Round with ties to be played over this weekend (week 29).

The draw is as follows:

Asahi Kirin Sapporo Saki Eight v Kiwi fantastic
FFC 4 Ever v Morgan's Machines
Wheelers Warriors v Goonersmoan
Lazarus United v Nobby Junior
Non-Calculated Risk v Pure Irish
Keep the faith v Gooner win the league
SAF v Californication
Financial Bale Out v Chillers Champions
Gooner go up v Dan's Dribblers
The No Hopers v Frank & Beans
Sainsbury's Maggotts LMFC v Hammer Nation
Dynamo Chicken Kiev v Woody's Round Up
Pimp my side v Bingo FC
Muddy's Mavericks v Conan's Destroyers
Kings of Leon Osman v Harry Houdini
2Infinity & beyond v Paris Eagles
Magnificent Eleven v Boys on tour
Glasgow kiss v Alchees Lubes
Two points, two flats and a packet of gravel v Guinness & eggs
Bagpuss XI v Room with a view
Standard Ginger v Full Metal Jacket
A Whitened Smut v We are all Keith Lemon!
Socceroos v Planet Kilpo
Bobby Z is World Class v Barceloner
ThE DrEaM FacTorY v Sons of pitches
Brox Banditos v How's about bollocks
Buy, Buy, Buy, Arsene Wenger v Brighton Blues
Luis & Carroll's Adventures in Wonderland v Megan & Hannah's Teddy Bears
Super Super Sav, Super Savlyuchenko v To Elland Back
Hannoi Utd v Travelodge kettles
Tanus Terriers v Good on paper XI
Loads of Roubles v Dalton's Worblers

Some cracking ties there. The game between Graham and Simon Ward will have the family divided right down the middle. Then two Eagle Barry's Paull and Plummer play off for a place in the 2nd Round also.

Top v 3rd in the Div 1 play after Greg and Ken got drawn together and old friends Ready and Huw will also meet in the 1st Round.

Another anticipated match up will be high flyers Daniel Weeks and Ricky Wood. Chicagoan's Michael Stout and the duo of Dennis and Tim cross swords as do Chartis' Dewbs and Chillers.

The in-form Kirsty and Brett were tied together (probably on Romford Station! Sorry in joke.) And Aon Benfield team mates Merchant and Morgan also go head to head.

The results will be based on week 29 scores. Good luck to all.

Road to Wembley - Two early goals kills off Tangerines

Two early goals helped our Road to Wembley boys Everton comfortably beat Blackpool to reach the FA Cup quarter-finals for the second time in nine years.

The party started early at Goodison when ROYSTON DRENTHE scored after just 49 seconds from hair-bear Marouane Fellaini's pass.

DENIS STRACQUALURSI then made it a dream start for the hosts on six minutes when he tapped in a second - game over.

Stracqualursi could have added to his total as Everton had chances to put the tie out of sight, while Kevin Phillips blazed over a penalty late on.

The veteran Tangerines striker also hit the bar from a free-kick with Lomana LuaLua also hitting the post, but they were isolated efforts for the visitors, who also lost Gary Taylor-Fletcher as a result of a first-half collision with Everton keeper Tim Howard.

Everton boss David Moyes: "I think when you play Blackpool you are never in control. They score lots of goals in the last five minutes of games. Our goalkeeper Tim Howard made a brilliant save and they missed a penalty kick, so they had opportunities.

"We had six or seven great chances to put the game to bed and we didn't get the third goal. While it was still 2-0, Blackpool kept going."

Everton team: Howard, Hibbert, Baines, Heitinga, Distin, Neville, Gibson, (Barkley), Drenthe, Fellaini, Stracqualursi (Vellios), Gueye (Coleman).
Substitutes: Hahnemann, Coleman, Barkley, Forshaw, Vellios, Joao Silva, Baxter.

Attendance: 38,347

The quarter-finals will be played on the weekend of 18-19 March.

FA Cup quarter-finals draw
Liverpool v Stoke City
Chelsea/Birmingham City v Leicester City
Stevenage/Tottenham Hotspur v Bolton Wanderers
Everton v Sunderland

N&R League Cups Semi Final Results

So we now know who the two finalists will be in each Division. The Finals will be in a few weeks time

Light & Bitter (Div 1) Semi-Final Draw
Travelodge Kettles 15-47 Loads of Roubles
Brox Banditos 19-47 The Magnificent Eleven

Ken will take on Johnny Mc in the Light & Bitter Final after both won on the road at. Both Huw and Chris being beaten convincingly.

Light & Lager (Div 2) Semi-Final Results
The No Hopers 38-52 Dynamo Chicken Kiev
Glasgow kiss 30-52 Dalton Worblers

Daniel and Rosie will contest the Light & Lager Final (current 1st v 2nd) in a few weeks time after both eased through their semis. Daniel won on Michael's home turf and in the all-girl semi, it was a bit one-way unfortunately as Rosie beat Kirsty quite comfortably.

New Man United kit leaked

Eeugh!

In the media

The Daily Mirror's Oliver Holt talks to John Barnes and it poses plenty of questions.

“In terms of overt racism, the situation at football matches has improved in the last 20 years, because we don’t hear it,” Read more.

O M Godd

Manager of the Week - week 26
What a week! 21 teams bettered the previous season best with Pete Godfrey topping out at 109 points. Woody claimed 108 and Barry Paull, Mark Gregory and Sooozie 105.

Alastair parked a 104 with Rob and Plumms all in the 100 club.

Interestingly Rosie scored 91 after a 9 in week 25 and Neil Addington 82 after an 8 in the previous week.

There were many best scores of the season with 62 managers scoring 50 points plus even Danny Rose and Kate Chillman hit a 65, almost double her previous best score.

Daniel Duboux scored 59 points than he did the week before and it was left to Tim & Dennis and Muddy to bring up the rear with a hardly bad 33.

1,000 point barrier

The 1,000 point barrier was broken in the bumper week 26. Leading the way was Greg's Boys on tour then Lee's Tanus Terriers and Andy's Bagpuss.

In Div 2 Rosie's Worblers continues her fantastic virgin season and moved to 1,006 points last week.

Last season it was also week 26 when our managers first reached the 1,000 point mark with Rob Munden, Mark Gregory, Simon Ward, Steve Merchant and Ken Cobbett attaining it at the same time. The season before it took until week 29.