Photograph of the week

Simon Jordan recently boasted that he has fifteen cars - he listed them as he was so proud of them. I mean, how can you need 15 cars? He will be allowed to keep them all, of course, and his yacht, which he brags he paid £3m for even though he is owner of Crystal Palace FC, who entered administration this week. Meanwhile non-playing jobs will go, Neil Warnock, their manager will see his best players sold cheaply from underneath him (he already has the administrators telling him who he can play), local businesses will not get bills paid and the fans, who will no doubt be left to pick up the pieces like those fans at Chester, Stockport, Luton and Darlington, will be the ones that will suffer.

Road to Wembley - County throw away lead

Notts County valiantly held Wigan to a 2-2 draw in the FA Cup 4th Round last. They will however be kicking themselves after bing two goals up.

County had gone into the break 2-0 ahead thanks to a close-range strike from the impressive LEE HUGHES (left) and BEN DAVIES' 30-yard dipping free-kick. But Jason Scotland combined with Hugo Rodallega to beat Kasper Schmeichel and made it 2-1 before Watson's equaliser allowed Wigan to claw back a two-goal deficit and force League Two's Notts County to an FA Cup replay just when a shock looked likely.

Notts County caretaker manager Dave Kevan said after "I'm just pleased they were able to stay focused and put in that type of performance, and credit to them for that. I thought the lads were fantastic, but when we look at it again in the cold light of day, we'll have mixed feelings. They know they've had a great opportunity to cause an upset, and sadly that hasn't quite developed."

Despite County's well broadcasted new ownership they were yesterday given 28 days to pay off their creditors in the high court. HM Revenue and Customs presented a winding-up petition this afternoon over a £324,206 outstanding debt but the taxman accepted that a 28-day adjournment would be in order for the club to settle the debt in full. However, HMRC pointedly applied for that period of grace to be marked "final".

If the funds do not arrive in the next four weeks HMRC will seek immediate liquidation proceedings.

Don't expect a bumper replay crowd at Wigan to help with the bills. More on the basket case that is Notts County, the countries oldest football club soon.

Smacker

Breaking news8888888The Young Un's Latest Week 23 Table
N&R FL's current top manager is Kirsty and Glasgow kiss has a five point lead over Frank & Beans. Tanus Terriers and FFC 4 Ever swap places and Aston Globetrotters are 5th.

In 6th are Boys on tour up 4 spots, 7th and slipping down the table is W Wallace Boys (see our Andy Murray done your boy this morning Dav) and Pk's Mexican Banana Split move into 8th.

At the bottom remains Cesc and the city.

Lambing season

Breaking news8888888The Oldies Latest Week 23 Table
The top are unchanged with Lamb to the Slaughter two points ahead of Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net. Old adverseries Paris Eagles and Vodka Hooligan swap places with Arsene Knows into 5th. Oakers' Old Bodeanians climb to 9th.

Killer Kilpo remains rooted adrift at the bottom.

Just call me Al

Breaking news8888888Week 23 scores
Great to see Oakers, who messed up his predictions (see below), pick up a crisp fiver for week 23's MoW. 66 points was a fine return Old Bodeanians that propelled him into the Oldies promotion race. Greg's Boys on tour missed out last week when there wasn't a MoW award as only two games were played, missed out again in week 22 falling just short of Oakers.

In Tatters performed well in week 23 and scored 58, the consistent Aston Globetrotters were next with 55, the same as current champ Gooner win league. The Factastic Fancies continued their recent form with 51 points, Arsene Knows next up with 50.

With 47 points was the eclectic mix of Frank & Beans, Bermuda Addicks and Soozie-Sooz Sizzlers. A much better performance from the Nobby and Sooz. Tanus Terriers were next with 46 then Vodka Hooligan with 45. Wenmania, Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net and Megan and Hannah's Teddy Bears each hit 44 and Gunner Bag It and Lamb to the Slaughter 43.

The week's worst score was achieved by Francies Keep the faith.

Week 23 review

Chelsea showed their title credentials again and Sunderland their relegation ones by winning 7-2 at The Bridge. Anelka (2), Malouda, A Cole, Lampard (2) and Ballack the Blues scorers. Bent and Zenden scored for the Black Cats but that is a lot of minus points for their defenders.

Everton put the breaks on City's winning run under Mancini beating them 2-0, Berbatov, Rooney and the young Diouf scored in the 3-0 win over Brian Laws Burnley, Robert Huth's late equaliser gave Stoke a point against relegation threatened Liverpool and Wigan won 2-0 at Wolves.

Hull defended for their lives with Boaz Myhill in inspiring form as they drew 0-0 at Tottenham.

On the Sunday in the claret and blue derby Villa and West Hame shared the spoils in a goalless draw. Foolham's away form is shocking and got no better at Ewood as Samba and Nelsen got Blackburn's goals. And Fabregas and Merida scored for Arsenal in a close win at Bolton, Owen Coyle's first game.

Ready's Benfleet Bet - Table after 3rd Round

Ready has computed the scores from the 3rd Round predicitons. Amazingly, there was onnly one rule breaker and no surprise, that was Oakley as he manages to do every year. He had 13 draws and as 27 pts out of his 43 came from his draw predictions. we should have docked him 20 pts (2 extra draws x 10 pts each). However, slightly harsh, so we docked Oakers 12 pts instead, which is 2 x correct score draws @ 6pts each. Very fair indeed we would say!

Dewbs takes an early lead, well done mate and this is what the league table after the 3rd Round FA Cup Predictions is as follows:

1. Mark Dewberry - 50pts
2= Jason Syrett - 49
2= Neville White - 49
4. Ben Guarino - 46
5= Barry Plummer - 44
5= Mark Wenman - 44
6. Ian France - 40
7= Paul Long - 39
7= Ian Monohan - 39
7= Peter Godfrey - 39
10= Barry Paull - 38
10= Rob Saxon - 38
10= Sarah Sheron - 38
10= Ben Graves - 38
14= Kirsty Baillie - 36
14= Danny Rose - 36
16. Aaron Barden - 35
17= John McGowan - 34
17= Peter Doyle - 34
19= Simon Ward - 33
19= Huw Thomas - 33
19= Brian Rutter - 33
22. Neil Reynolds - 32
23= Keith Read - 31
23= Alan Oakley - 31 (43-12 for rule breach)
25= Chris Waterman - 30
25= Rob Munden - 30
27. Ian Kennett - 29
28. Steve Black - 25
29.Simon Newport - 24
30. Greg Foulger - 21
31. Paul Kelleher - 16

Keith and I did rubbish as usual. PK deserves a slating after his recent email professing to know everything about footy and failing miserably on this compared to everyone, let alone the couple of girls who entered.

Playboys

This year's worst kept secret.... Gold and Sullivan's takeover of West Ham. David Gold and David Sullivan have bought 50% of West Ham giving them operational control and they have put a move to the Olympic Stadium at the top of their agenda. Interesting move and also odd that the pair suggested they would reduce admission prices if they moved to Stratford as that was the opposite of what they did at their previous club when they expanded St Andrews ground capacity.

Hammers' fans won't be cheered by the fact that Gold and Sullivan took Birmingham down to the 3rd tier in their first two seasons of ownership. What David Sullivan did disclose yesterday was the extent of West Ham's debt. £110m of which £20m is owed to Sheffield United, another £20m on outstanding transfer fees and then £2m to Alan Curbishley, someone Sullivan tried on numerous occasions to bring to St Andrews from Charlton. Then the banks are owed £50m, all in all some very bad housekeeping on the current and previous owners part. I wonder what a certain Terry Brown makes of all this. Brown walked away with £33.4m in 2006.

These debts pale into comparison though when compared to Man United's estimated debt of £716.5m. It recently came to light that Aon paid £37m to United upfront for shirt sponsorship that doesn't even start until August. What Charlton could do with a piece of that, blimey what I could do with some of that. That £37m will be lost on interest payments alone.

Gold and Sullivan are rich but they are not Arab princes dripping in gold. They need to secure some further short-term investment to deliver their promises of no one being sold in this window and also to pay some discontented creditors, Curbs being one of them. I had to laugh though at Sullivan sat there in a 'I'm not really a porn baron mauve jacket' declaring his love but not disclosing what him, Gold and Karren Brady will pay themselves at Upton Park.

In the last season at St Andrews Sullivan received an annual fee of £280,000 while Ralph and David Gold’s benefits included annual payments of £140,000 each to Gold Group International Ltd. Brady is still receiving some contractual benefits from Birmingham but last season paid herself a salary of £179,372 plus a bonus of £260,000.

Anyway we were only at best a bartering tool and as I have stated before on here I wasn't keen on them sullying our doorstep. The Academy and Knickerbox probably suit each other.

In the Porn King's first week at the helm(et) we have seen some mixed messages. First they asked fellow bidder Air Asia founder Tony Fernandes to put some money in to the club, which he declined. Then in a real surprise they asked Curbishley to reinvest the £2m he is owed. Almost on the same day Sullivan said that they planned to pay £100,000 a week to a new player (that will piss off Carlton Cole). I just hope for every Hammers' fan's sake that is not Benni McCarthy. Other target Eidur Gudjohnsen has turned his back on the east-end and signed for Spurs on loan after he passed a medical at Chadwell Heath. Why does a brown envelope stuffed with used fivers come to mind?

David Sullivan was quoted recently saying that a Premier League club will go bust. He was probably thinking that as he was studying the due diligence of some of Peter Storrie's old tax returns! Pompey are in all kinds of problems with Sol Campbell adding to their woes claiming he is owed £1.7m in image rights and bonus payments. A class move from a bloke who walked out on his contract at Notts County.

Portsmouth are fighting a winding-up petition from Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs (they've been busy issuing a lot of writs to football clubs recently) and are teetering on the brink of administration, which would result in a 9-point deduction and I actually wonder if the Premier League even care.

Meanwhile there are football clubs beyond the Premier League who are in a right two and eight. Crystal Palace entered adminstration on Tuesday and now face a relegation battle without some of their best young players. Cardiff City who have an even much better chance of promotion could be next.

Road to Wembley - Magpies takeover

There has been plenty of takeover talk at the countries oldest football club all season but on Tuesday night Notts County took over the N&R Road to Wembley mantle by beating brave Forest Green Rovers at Meadow Lane 2-1.

Notts County overcame a feisty FA Cup display by Blue Square Premier side Forest Green to set up a fourth round tie with Premier League Wigan.

After a drab first 45 minutes the second half burst into life when Stephen Hunt toe-poked the opening goal for the home side from five yards however Forest Green refused to yield and hit back through striker ISAIAH RANKIN'S venomous effort into the bottom corner. Sadly though just one later Magpies top scorer and ex-convict Lee Hughes curled in the winner.

Notts County will meet Wigan at Meadow Lane on Saturday for the League Two side's first FA Cup fourth round tie in 15 years.

Benfleet Bet 4th Round

The FA Cup 4th Round is this weekend, I emailed out the list of games, please return your predictions by no later than midday on Saturday (8am CST)

FA CUP 4TH ROUND DRAW
Southampton v Ipswich
Reading v Burnley
Derby v Doncaster
Cardiff v Leicester
Stoke v Arsenal
Notts County v Wigan
Scunthorpe v Man City
West Brom v Newcastle
Everton v Birmingham
Accrington v Fulham
Bolton v Sheff Utd
Portsmouth v Sunderland
Preston v Chelsea
Aston Villa v Brighton
Wolves v Crystal Palace
Tottenham v Leeds

QPR messageboard

Some of you may have seen this, but a recent post on the QPR fan forum came from a very disillusioned fan who just didn't know when to stop:

I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but more so than that - football is just properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money. It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate that Joe Cole's tongue is never in his mouth. I hate John Terry being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate the England team.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.

I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.

I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp. And the Wii.

I hate James Nesbitt, Eammon Holmes and f***ing everyone.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it's amazing.

I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot' playing behind it.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.

I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or Bradford.

I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.

I hate Leeds.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.

Just two matches played in Week 22 so no MoW

Breaking news8888888Week 22 scores
Just two Premiership matches so no Manager of the Week in 22. So with apologies to Greg who's Boys on tour managed a fine 27 points from just two matches there will be no prize this week.

Boys toys with top 10

Breaking news8888888The Young Un's Latest Week 22 Table
Glasgow kiss remain top but Frank & Beans grabbed second spot from FFC 4Ever. The biggest mover in week 22 was Boys on tour who climbed from 15th to 9th meaning the Toothless Hogget dropped out of the to 13.

Cesc in the city meanwhile takes over ownership of bottom spot from Nancy Lollygaggers.

Tittle Tatters

Breaking news8888888The Oldies Latest Week 22 Table
Paris Eagles hurdle Vodka Hooligan into 3rd, Arsene Knows were climbers into 6th and In Tatters also benefited from a decimated programme by moving 4 places to 13th.

At the bottom Killer Kilpo and Brighton Blues swapped places.

QPR players ‘not aware Paul Hart was their boss'

I have always looked at QPR with a certain amount of hilarity. After Gerry Francis hung up his corset they became the original wannabee team with wannabee fans. Plastic pitch, subbuteo stands, twattish chairman John Gregory and funny looking fans from Ealing and Uxbridge. But it wasn't until recently that the real fun began when Flavio Briatore and Bernie Ecclestone took over, with a little help from the world's 5th richest person, Lakshmi Mittal. Then the real comedy began. QPRhahahabloodyha. I liked this little post from the website Back of the Net after Paul Hart was relieved of his duties last week:

After yet another managerial upheaval at Loftus Road, QPR’s players looked on the bright side yesterday, saying that Paul Hart’s departure had not disrupted them too much as most of them ‘in all honesty, hadn’t realised he was the manager’.

Rangers showed grit to bounce back from behind twice and claim a point at Blackpool yesterday, despite being left managerless for the 615th time in three years after crazed megalomaniac owner Flavio Briatore fell out with Hart, appointed after Briatore fell out with Jim Magilton, appointed after Briatore fell out with Paulo Sousa, appointed after Briatore fell out with Ian Dowie. Goalscorer Matthew Connolly, asked what effect Hart’s sudden exit had on the dressing room, said: ‘Paul…? What, the old geezer with the coat and the…? Oh, I didn’t realise he was the new gaffer, to be fair. He did say something about having taken over as manager, thinking about it. But a lot of people say that round here.’

‘We did think it was odd he sort of wandered in on Boxing Day [when Rangers played Bristol City],’ admitted Abel Taarabt, ‘and started telling us to be ruthless. But we thought he was just a harmless old guy who was a bit gone in the head. Most people at this club are. And, you know, it was Christmas and that, so we let him stay.’

Even club captain Martin Rowlands claimed it was ‘news to him’ that the ineffectual Hart had managed QPR for five games. ‘That explains why he was at the training sessions watching from the sidelines. I figured he must be someone’s dad. Is he the guy who was at Portsmouth? I vaguely remember him from Match of the Day or something. Oh well. I guess I’ll kind of miss him, then, if he was the manager. Yeah.’

Briatore moved quickly to calm angry fans after this latest indignity in the Hoops’ bizarre recent history, saying in a statement that he was ‘confident of finding a successor quickly and sacking him almost immediately.’ At the time of going to press, fewer than a thousand people in the United Kingdom had not been the manager of QPR.

Week 22 review

The UK snow took hold of week 22's programme with just 8 weekend games going ahead in the whole of England and just two Premier League matches.

An unfortunate own goal by the impressive Scott Dann from an Evra cross gave Man U a point at St Andrews. Cameron Jerome scored for Birmingham and Fletcher was sent off for United.

Meanwhile at The Emirates substitute Tomas Rosicky scored an injury-time equaliser to rescue a point for Arsenal against Everton. Leon Osman put the visitors ahead when he headed in debutant Landon Donovan's corner.

RIP Arnold Stang

Who is Arnold Stang you ask? Well Stang was known for his distinctive nasal voice and nerdy looks, and for also being the voice of television icon Top Cat.

Stang died of pneumonia in Massachusetts just before Christmas aged 91. I used to love watching Benny, Choo Choo and the bad Officer Dibble but amazingly only 30 episodes of Top Cat were ever made in the early 60's. Stang's last role was in the 1993 movie Dennis the Menace.

Ok T.C.

Read the Chicago Tribune obituary here.

Ready's Benfleet Bet

I only sent to predictions to Keith today (Friday) so he could mark but there are still three ties to be played. The results will be out soon so watch this space.

What's in a team name

No.5 Leigh Langton - One night in Paris
Contrary to popular belief Leigh's team is not about a once romantic liason under the stars of the French capital but in fact a dedication to his favourite actress.

Leigh's favourite all time chick flick starred a vivacious and wanton Paris Hilton, heir to the some rather shitty airport hotels. The film didn't have a top notch producer or director but the camera man was particuarly skilful at holding two things at once.

This epic movie was filmed in a very nice hotel room (probably not a Hilton) and the lighting was what some would call sensual but others grainy and all I can remember is this gormless, but pretty face staring at the camera and looking like she's thinking: "why is he filming me giving him a blowy? You don't think he'll show anyone do you?"

Of course the video fell into bad hands, probably Leigh's actually, and by the time I got to see it the quality was certainly missing in bits where it had been paused about a thousand times.

Anyway Leigh's One Night in Paris is dedicated to his favourite 'actress' and to his favourite all time movie cum fly on a wall type documentary.

Personally I am awaiting the sequel.

Photographs of the week

Sacked >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Not Sacked

N&R Winter Break - The Oldies v The Young Un's

So time for a break from the N&R Fantasy League - we will look at that on occasion to see who is leading the whole thing but for the next 12 weeks we will just concern ourselves with the Oldies and the Young Un's. In the primary Oldies group will be all of us experienced, seasoned, bordeaux drinking, caring, sharing lovers and then the wham-bam thank you mam let's get shitfaced group will compete in the Young up and comers group.

The top 13 from each will qualify at week 33 for the N&R Champions League, whilst the others contest for the (losers) N&R Europa League. Prize money will be available for the top 12 in the CL and the top 4 in the EL plus two penultimate prizes.

Mutton dressed as Lamb

Breaking news8888888The Oldies Latest Week 21 Table
The first week of the official winter break. While the UK grinds to a halt N&R FL continues unaffected by loads of white powder *sniff*.

In the first week of the Oldies table Glenn Francis' Mutton to the slaughter takes the seat at the top table - remember the top 13 qualify for the N&R Champions League. In 2nd is golden oldie Godders and Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net 5 points behind, 3rd is Vodka Horlicks, with Paris Eagles 4th and Hannoi Utd 5th.

Coming up the rear are Loads of Pension Books, Guiness & Eggs, Arsene Knows, To The Post Officeand Back, One Night in at The Somme, Goliath's Big Grandad, Keep the Faith and Old Bastardians.

At the bottom Turtles Breath, Beatlemania, Killer Kilpo and Grannies Blues all have precisely 12 weeks to get their lives sorted out.

Och-aye

Breaking news8888888The Young Un's Latest Week 21 Table
The top 4 overall league leaders all fall into the Young Un category so commiserations to the other 24 managers. Glasgow Dribble lead the way by 16 points from FFC 4Ever, then in 3rd is Frank & Beans with Tanus Terriers in 4th.

Behind them is Ashton Globecrawlers as always handily placed but Davor's W Wallace Boys are losing a bit of ground.

In the current qualifying positions are Morgan Strollers, Mexican Banana and Custard, Student Ninjas, Gooner Win League, Master Harry Houdini, Savlyuchenko Spurs and The Toothless Hogget.

At the bottom Cesc and the city and Nancy Lollypacifiers have a lot to make up but a smaller league gives them every chance.

N&R Cup 1st Round Results

After a disrupted week 21, these are the results from the N&R Cup 1st Round:

Leigh Langton 74-35 Nigel Tatlock
Neil Cryer 40-43 Soozie Syrett
Tim Harris 46-63 Richard Nathan
Chris Wright 47-53 Dan Martin
Peter Godfrey 48-54 Huw Thomas
Hilary Flynn 59-56 Ben Graves
Chris Waterman 46-83 Lee Baughan
Paul Kelleher 32-54 Kirsty Baillie
Rob Saxon 36-57 Scott Morgan
Danny Rose 57-36 Paul Long
Simon Newport 47-53 Neil Reynolds
Mark Dewberry 54-28 Lee Horne
Sarah Sheron 36-35 James Ashworth
Barry Paull 77-13 Brian Rutter
Megan McLeod 52-36 Steve Black
Davor Duvancic 14-55 Aaron Bardon
Martin Singleton 52-46 Alex Byatt
Mark Simmons 55-62 Alex Boswell
Henry Williams 27-39 Feldbruegge/Malloy
Ian Kennett 44-61 Barry Plummer
James Down 30-38 Keith Read
Ian Monahan 43-61 Ryan Saveall
Jason Syrett 56-52 Steve Merchant
John McGowan 34-25 Alan Oakley
Peter Doyle 46-68 Michael Stout
Stuart Kilpatrick 51-20 Greg Foulger
Neville White 65-50 Simon Ward

It was a Cup of upset as Dewbs, Saveall, Nathan, Boswell, Martin and White all overcame superior opposition. Sweaty, Kilpo, Megan and Huw all had terrific wins. Huw beating Godders 46 places above him in the table, Megan likewise overcoming ex-Windy City-er Steve Black and Killer Kilpo thrashing Gringo Foulger 44 places higher in the standings. Aaron Barden beat Slovak Davor, 32 places above him 55-14.

In the game of the round Sarah Sheron beat James Ashworth by a solitary point, in the much heralded local fac derby Pk lost to Kirsty 54-32. Last year's winner Neil Reynolds overcome Nobby 53-47 and last season's runners up Felbruegge & Malloy beat Henry Williams in the top of the table clash 39-27.

The biggest winner was Parisian Paull beating poor old Rutts 77-13 and in a high scoring game Jason Syrett just squeezed by Steve Merchant 56-52.

It was an exciting first round and the winners will be joined by Wenners, Francey, Francis, Guarino and Munden in the 2nd Round, the draw for which will be made soon.

No Sweat for Lee

Breaking news8888888Week 21 scores
The first week of the Oldies and Young 'Uns split and a shock MoW winner in Sweaty Lee Baughan and 83 points. A terrific effort from the Bow boy's That's not you. 83 points is also the season's 6th best weekly score. Next up was Paris Eagles with 77, a season-high for Bazza. One night in Paris shot their load in week 21 with a cracking 74, also a season-high for Leigh. Likewise for the No Hopers, Michael pocketing 68.

Not a chance may well have a chance of Neville continues like this, 65 for him and 63 for Razor's St George's Rovers. 62 points for Alex's Megan and Hannah's Teddy Bears and 61 each for 2Infinity and beyond and Savlyuchenko Spurs. AIG's Hills and Dewbs both came up with the same score in week 21. 59 for Pure Irish and the Toothless Hogget.

Morgan Machines and Arsene Knows both slipped in a 57 and Gunner Bag It and Gianfrancophiles finished the week with a 56 each.

Other notable efforts or lack off were by Glasgow kiss (54), Adelaide Taffs (54), Killer Kilpo (51), Blue flag up your arse (43), Frank & Beans (39), Tanus Terriers (28) and W Wallace Boys a season-low of 14.

The lowest weekly score was Goonersmoan on 13.

Photograph of the week

Snow and cold frost caused the cancellation of almost the entire English football programme this weekend. This satellite image shows the UK covered in snow and ice.

Week 21 review

FA Cup 3rd Round weekend and points gained by any Premier League players all counted. As you can see from the photo of the all-Prem clash between Wigan and Hull, fans were hardly flocking to the games although it was bloody freezing and many games were postponed and will be replayed.

These are the games that featured Premier League teams:

Chelsea put out a youthful team as they beat Watford 5-0 but Malouda and Lampard scored but Cole did get booked. In a famous victory League One leaders Leeds beat Man Utd at Old Trafford 1-0. Jarvis prevented the same at Tranmere as Wolves won 1-0 while younsgter Ramsey and Croat Eduardo got the winner in the local derby at Upton Park. Alessandro Diamanti was again Hammers' goalscorer.

In another all Premier League clash at Villa Park, Blackburn came a cropper against Aston Villa 3-1. Delfouneso, Cuellar, Carew were the clarets scorers and Kalinic got Rovers. Managerless Bolton thrashed Lincoln with a four-goal second half spree, late Leighton Baines and Tim Cahill goals saw Everton squeeze past League One Carlisle 3-1, Zamora got Fulham's winner against promotion chasing Swindon also from League One and Mwaruwari got Citeh's winner against Middlesbrough at a spacious Riverside.

Burnley had a good win at a tricky looking MK Dons 2-1, Alexander and Fletcher scored the goals. Birmingham kept a clean sheet at Nottm Forest, and Pompey were held 1-1 at home to Coventry. Likewise Reading held Liverpool 1-1. Gerrard saving the Reds blushes.

No problems for Stoke, 3-1 winners at home to Conference side (5th tier) York and Sunderland 3-0 winner over fellow non-leaguers Barrow. Frazier Campbell notching a brace. Spurs beat struggling Championship Peterborough 4-0 putting out a strong side. Kranjcar (2), Keane and Defoe on the scoresheet.

And finally in front of just 5,000 hardy souls in Lancashire Wigan thrashed Hull 4-1. N'Zogbia (2), McCarthy and Sinclair for Wigan and Geovanni for the Humbersiders.

Replays and the eventual replayed postponed games will all count for the N&R FL.

Togo pull out of African Nations

"Togo have pulled out of the Africa Cup of Nations following a deadly gun attack on their team bus in Angola.

Reports suggest three non-playing staff, including the coach driver have died. Two players were shot and injured in the attack in Cabinda on Friday. Organisers insist the tournament will go ahead and are stepping up security." (more)

Unbelievable news from Angola. There are probably some very sweaty palms amongst FIFA officials with the World Cup taking part in the same continent in just a few months.

Letters

From the recent mailbag:

Dear Nobby and Ready,

I am going to set up a petition to make the fantasy league a men only tournament. I already have at least 10 supporters in my quest.

My reasons for this are......Kirsty B is at the top of the league (this is not the first time this has happened) and in previous years we have had Soozie Sausage as a winner and the AIG girls have also been up there.

There is clearly some foul play going on here as there is no way that a girl would have the knowledge to pick a decent team to win the league and I have inside knowledge that these so called 'past winners' have been helped in their selection by much wiser, football savvy men.

I do not impose myself on their knitting clubs or go to the Lloyds netball tournament and pretend I know what I'm talking about.

This is PC gone mad and I think you need to do something about it.

May I categorically state that this has absolutely nothing to do with my poor performance in the fantasy league this year or the fact that I have not had 1 manager of the week award and I'm not bitter.

These girls should stick to doing girlie things like concentrate on not breaking their nails and looking filthy for us men to ogle at in Lloyds.

I await your response with anticipation.

btw, happy new year to you and yours.
Paul Kelleher

Oldies v Young Un's

Week 21 will be the start of the N&R winter break and the league splits into two - The Oldies and Young Un's. Then at week 33, the top 13 in each grouping will qualify for the N&R Champions League, with the remainder going into the N&R Europa League. Prize money will be available for the top 12 in the CL and the top 4 in the EL plus two penultimate prizes.

We are still a week away and for those of you like me, who are borderline old or young, you'll have to wait and see which league you fall in!

Top Terriers

Breaking news8888888Week 20 Table
Tanus Terriers are back on top of the N&R FL after week 21. Lee leads Glasgow kiss by 4 points and Frank & Beans by 2. In 4th is W Wallace Boys with FFC 4Ever now upto 5th, his highest placing. Henry's Aston Globetrotters are 6th 25 points behind the leader and Lamb to the slaughter are 7th.

Probably the longest email address in the world Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net stay 8th but Hannoi Utd slip to 9th and Vodka Hooligan drop to 10th. Loads of Roubles fall out of the top 10 for the first time since week 13 but Mexican Banana Split are on their way back to the big time after a 5 place haul.

Guinness & Eggs are a team to watch as we approach the winter break, they're in 13th with Boys on tour 14th and Oakers' Old Bodeanians 15th.

The curent N&R bottom feeders are Nancy Lollygaggers, Killer Kilpo, Cesc and the city, Soozie-Sooz Sizzlers, Brighton Blues and Adelaide Taffs, who did have a much better week.

Feast of Steven

Breaking news8888888Week 20 scores
The festive season always provides some big scores. He won't remember because he was blotto at the time but Mark Dewberry actually scored 126 points Christmas week 2005. This year it was the turn of Steve Merchant's FFC 4Ever who hit a Christmas cracker of 96 points, gifting the Fulham fan of a title opportunity. Next to be unwrapped was Pk and Mexican Banana Split, which is not a cocktail as I found out in the Wine Bar last week. Pk was presented with a 84 one more than Tanus Terriers and three more than Guinness & Black who had 80 come down the chimney.

Boys on tour found 79 points under the tree, Rob got his very best present in the FA Cup but To Elland Back's festivities continued in week 20 with 78 points. Big fairy Ian Kennett and Goliath's Big Brother (sorry that should read little fairy) scoffed 73 and Student Ninja jingle bell rocked to 72, which was two more than Red nosed Bermuda Addick.

There was a 68 on Paris Eagles bauble and Gooner win league was decorated with a 67. 65 was the number inside Real SociableLad, One night in Paris and St George's Rovers advent calendar and finally because this is getting silly Old Bodeanians and Frank & Beans were away in the manger with 64 baby Jesus'.

Oh and this week's turkey was That's not you, N&R's very own Rudolph the red nosed Scotsman.

Best Weekly Score update - Merchant Charm

Well Sarah did not last long at the top of the Best Weekly Score standings. Steve grabbed first place after his fantastic Christmas effort. Here is the revised table.

Current top 12 best weekly score:
1. Steve Merchant. Week 20. 96 points
2. Sarah Sheron. Week 19. 88 points
3. Alan Oakley. Week 19. 85 points
4= Hilary Flynn. Week 2. 84 points
4= Paul Kelleher. Week 20. 84 points
6. Lee Horne. Week 20. 83 points
7. Steve Black. Week 20. 80 points
8= Ryan Saveall. Week 2. 79 points
8= Mark Simmons. Week 19. 79 points
8= Greg Foulger. Week 20. 79 points
11= Feldbruegge/Malloy. Week 2. 78 points
11= Rob Munden. Week 20. 78 points

Week 20 review

The bumper Christmas programme, a little disturbed by postponements. Here is what happened in week 20:

Saturday 26th
Brum and Chelski and Foolham and Spuds were both goalless. In Lancashire Wigan and Blackburn drew 1-1, Darren Bent socred for Sunderland in their 1-1 home drew with Everton. In London the Hammers beat Pompey 2-0, Barking sounding Alessandro Diamanti and Kovac got the goals.

Petrov and Tevez saw off Stoke for Citeh at Eastlands. In Merseyside a few cars were nicked whilst Liverpool beat Wolves 2-0. Wolves did put out a full team but it made diddly squat of a difference and Burnley and Bolton drew 1-1 way before Owen Coyle was a backpage headline.

Sunday 27th
Arsenal comfortably beat Villa 3-0 and Utd did likewise at Hull winning 3-1.

Monday 28th
Sunderland and Blackbrun drew 2-2 at Ewood, Bent scoring two more for the Mackems. In West London Fulham put up a good fight but lost eventually 2-1 to Chelsea. Drogba and an o.g. from young ex Maidstone player Chris Smalling.

Late goals from Vaughan and Pienaar gave Everton 3 points over Burnley, who had 5 booked. Jerome kept Birmingham's run going with a victory at the Brittania.

Judas Defoe rubbed Hammers' fan's nose in it at WHL with the 2nd goal in Spurs' 2-0 win. And another clean sheet from Man C beating Wolves away 3-0. Tevez (2) and Garrido with the goals and Given with the clean sheet.

Photograph of the week #2

Owen Coyle off to further his career at miserable Bolton, whose fans can't hold a light to those at Turf Moor. Coyle says he would only move to Bolton for whom he played a whole 54 games for in the early 90's.

Photograph of the week #1

Leeds were superb at Old Trafford on Sunday. Few teams if any go to the Theatre of Dreams and win, let alone a team from the third tier in the FA Cup 3rd Round. It was a very sweet moment for Leeds' fans who have been through the ringer in the past few years but then bang. Jermaine Beckford hands in a transfer request.

African Nations Cup

This Sunday is the start of the 27th Africa Cup of Nations, actually this year called the Orange Africa Cup of Nations for sponsorship reasons. It is scheduled to take place between 10th and 31st January 2010 in Angola.

Angola is desperately trying to restore normality to their society after decades of civil strife and also attempting to, on the back of their massive oil wealth, establish themselves as new economic power in Africa.

It is claimed the country has spent $1 billion preparing infrastructure for the tournament, including four new stadiums, hotels and roads but some stadiums only officially opened last week and will not have been properly tested before they are used in the tournament for the first time from Sunday.

The pitch conditions, in particular, I expect will be pretty shitty and the from the little I have read you might find better facilities at The Withdean than in and around the stadiums of Angola. I think the Confederation of African Football are very brave but it has long had a policy of encouraging new countries to bid to host the Nations Cup. The rationale is that the tournament forces governments to build sports infrastructure they ordinarily would not commit a budget to.

Countries like Burkina Faso, Ghana and Mali have recent stadiums now because of the Nations Cup and the next finals, to be co-hosted by Gabon and Equatorial Guinea, will see much needed venues built in those countries as well.

For all the potential of its oil wealth, Angola is still a shattered land, stripped of almost all its infrastructure and with very few real services for its citizen. The money for the football tournament surely could have been better spent elsewhere but you will find few dissenters among its populace, who are eagerly anticipating the arrival of the continent's top stars (for those of you worried about your N&R team, then click here).

If I can via American television, I wouldn't mind watching some of the games. You just know it will be an attacking feast of football. Here are the planned 1st Round matches.

There are 4 groups of 4, with the top two qualifying for the Quarters. The final is in Luanda on Sunday 31st. Luanda is the capital and the world's most expensive city to live in?!

Egypt are the defending champions but likely a little shell shocked after missing out on the World Cup finals, beaten in qualifying play-off by Algeria. It means they could arrive in Angola flat and demoralised or filled with the extra motivation to make up for their recent disappointment.

Angola are likely to ride a wave of home town expectation and Algeria, Ghana, the Ivorians, Nigeria, Egypt, Cameroon and Tunisia are all well favoured with Cameroon and Cote d'Ivoire looking the most formidable of the teams. Enjoy.

Happy New Year

Can you believe it was ten years ago that we were all wired up and ready for the new millennium? We left work on the Friday thinking that nothing electrical would ever work again. Y2K? What was that? And how bloody fixated did us insurance boffins get over it. Bloody hell if it was around now Apple would find an app for it.

New Year is a time to appreciate and thank all of our friends who make the N&R FL simply the best insurance football fantasy league run by two ageing insurance brokers in the world. As we have said numerous times it has allowed both Keith (when he was living in Thailand) and I to keep in touch with some great people.

The world has known better years and I have many friends and acquaintances that have lost jobs. To those I know that luck is just around the corner. To football fans everywhere let's raise a glass to success for the team's that we love, and to each one of you and your loved ones all the very best for a happy and healthy New Year.

Kirsty on top, Old Bodeanians and Goonersmoan huge climbers

Breaking news8888888Week 19 Table
Our favourite Glaswegian lass, who was no doubt busy hogmanaying it up in Romford over New Years stormed to the top of the table after a terrific week 19 score. Glasgow kiss become our 4th league leader as we close out 2009. She is 9 points ahead of Frank & Beans and 15 ahead of W Wallace Boys. Tanus Terriers drop to 4th and suddenly the title race becomes five-horse race with the ever-consistent Ashton Globetrotters just a point behind Lee in 5th.

Watch out too for Lamb to the slaughter who are up to 6th and in close range of the leaders. Hannoi Utd slip to 7th and Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net are up a place to 8th. New in the top 10 are Vodka Hooligan, who jump 6 spots with FFC 4Ever losing a little ground to 10th.

Loads of Roubles fall to 11th, Morgan's Machines to 12th, Arsene Knows to 13th, Harry Houdini to 14th but Oakers' Old Bodeanians make a vast climb from 33rd to 15th.

Not far behind and all still all in with title aspirations are Guinness & eggs, Mexican Banana Split, The Toothless Hogget, Paris Eagles, Boys on Tour, Keep the faith, Bingo FC and the amazingly Sarah's Factastic Fancies, who were 58th just a month ago, and 38th a week ago.

At the bottom Goonersmoan had a great week and climb from bottom to 31st, which I don't believe has ever happened before (just shows how close the table is), so Nancy Lollygaggers take the bottom spot and Adelaide Taffs 58th.

Fancy that?

Breaking news8888888Week 19 scores
The beauty of the N&R FL eh? What a turn up for the books but the lovely Sarah Sheron surged to the MoW award and surpassed the season's best weekly score in the progress (see below) in week 19 with an incredible 88 points. 2nd from bottom no fewer than 4 times this season, Sarah's Factastic Fancies are now in a prize-threatening 22nd.

Another shocker was who was 2nd in week 19..... Old Bodeanians, who whalloped inb 85 points and climbed significantly up the league table. Vodka Hooligan broke the top 10 with a 79, Lamb to the slaughter underlined Glenn's credentials with a 74 and Boys on Tour hammered their best weekly score by almost 20 points.

Goonersmoan, previously let's face it, shite smacked a 72 and their climb up the table on the back of just one week was incredible. Rutts changing his whole team (almost) did the trick.... maybe that's what I should do?

In Tatters scored 72, Glasgow Kiss rose to the top of the table with a 69 (anyway up), the currently out of work, but hopefully not for long Godders@mobilemail.vodafone.net managed a healthy 68.

65 for Arsene Knows, 64 for Ben's Gianfrancophiles, a huge improvement on week 18's 10, Rochdale Allstars (63) hit a season's best as did Guinness & eggs (61). Ready's Hannoi Utd scored 63, Morgan's Machines 62 and there were 60's for Mexican Banana Split and Bingo.

Wenmania got the week's worst score, with 22, which actually was the highest lowest score of the season, if that makes sense.

Best Weekly Score - Girl Power continues

Week 19 affected the Best Weekly Score chart. Sarah now leads taking over from Hilary. Oakers is in at 2nd. There will be a end of season prize for the manager that scores the best weekly score. The all-time record is held by John Littig with 132 points in 2006.

Current top 15 best weekly score:
1. Sarah Sheron. Week 19. 88 points
2. Alan Oakley. Week 19. 85 points
3. Hilary Flynn. Week 2. 84 points
4= Ryan Saveall. Week 2. 79 points
4= Mark Simmons. Week 19. 79 points
6. Feldbruegge/Malloy. Week 2. 78 points
7. Henry Williams. Week 2. 77 points
8. Mark Wenman. Week 2. 77 points
9= Ian Monohan. Week 2. 75 points
9= Keith Read. Week 2. 75 points
11= John McGowan. Week 2. 74 points
11= Glenn Francis. Week 19. 74 points
13= Ian France. Week 2. 73 points
13= Greg Foulger. Week 19, 73 points
15= Brian Rutter. Week 19. 72 points
15= Nigel Tatlock. Week 19. 72 points

Week 19 review

Wednesday
Liverpool overcame Wigan 2-1 with Torres on Ngog on the score tab, N'Zogbia got a late consolation for Wigan. Burnley continued their wonderful home form drawing 1-1 with Arsenal. Chelsea scraped by an improving but skint Pompey 2-1 and Kranjcar and Defoe ultimately cost Mark Hughes his job at Man City, but cleary it was finally the excuse that the lying Sheikh's were looking for.

Saturday
Denilson, Eduardo and Diaby got Arsenal's goals in a walk in the park over Hull at The Emirates, Jon Carew got one not two at home to Stoke, but Crouchy did hit two for Spurs at Balckburn.

In a cracking game, although not for N&R FL defenders Citeh beat Sunderland 4-3, Santa Cruz getting a brace including the winner. Then in the two biggest shocks of not just the weekend but the season were at the Cottage and Fratton Park as Fulham hammered Man U 3-0, with goals from Danny Murphy (who always scores against Utd), Zamora and Damian Duff. Pompey beat relegation threatened Liverpool 2-0, their scorers were Belhadj and Piquionne.

Sunday
Bilyaletdinov got Everton's goal in a 1-1 draw with Birmingham, Milijas and Doyle gave Wolves a huge win over Burnley and West Ham and Chelsea drew 1-1 in an entertaining game at Upton Park. Both goals coming from penalties, Alessandro Diamanti for the Hammers and old boy Frankie Lampard for the Blues.

Forest Green Rovers - Did you know?

Our Road to Wembley boys, Forest Green Rovers had their 3rd Round tie postponed away at Notts County due to a frozen pitch. The winners will be at home to Premier League's Wigan Atheltic in Round 4.

So, here are 10 things you never knew about Forest Green Rovers (FGR):
1) They were founded in 1890 as Nailsworth & Forest Green and they are based in Stoud in Gloucs.
2) Last season they reached the FA Cup 3rd round for the first time but lost 3-4 to Derby County on January 3, 2009 after leading 2-0. This game also saw Forest Green record their highest ever attendance with 4,836 watching the match.
3) The club badge is very similar to the FC Barcelona badge. The flag of Saint George appears on both badges, showing his links to England as well as Catalania.
4) The Lawn Ground had been home to the club since it was founded in 1890, and remained little more than a field until the club's continued progress demanded a series of upgrades from the 1950s.
5) At the start of the 2006–07 season, Forest Green opened The New Lawn.
6) FGR's manager is Dave Hockaday, an old right back who made over 500 appearances for Blackpool, Swindon and Shrewsbury. Previously he coached at Watfrod, MK Dons and Leicester and became FGR manager in September this year.
7) The late David Rocastle's cousin Craig plays in midfield for FGR
8) Tony Daley, Nigel Spink, Des Lyttle, Paul Warhurst and Hereford's famous giantkiller Ronnie Radford all played for FGR.
9) Cricketer Jack Russell was once their goalkeeping coach and has supported the club his whole life.
10) One of the club's nicknames is The Little Club On The Hill.

The Decade in Quotes

2000
"I'd have given my right arm to be a pianist." Newcastle boss Bobby Robson when asked what would have been his dream job outside of football.

"He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right."George Best's verdict on David Beckham

"Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham treats a football like he does a wife - lovingly, with caresses." Brian Clough had different ideas.

"At home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch. I don't think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell football, never mind understand it." Manchester United skipper Roy Keane and the legendary prawn sandwich comment.

"I didn't play many games for Middlesbrough towards the end of the season - or at the start or the middle." Paul Gascoigne on his move from Middlesbrough to Everton.

2001
"I don't really like the north. It's always raining. It's very cold and I don't like all those little houses." West Ham striker Frederic Kanoute on why he preferred the the south of England.

"How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn't happened for 100 years. I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match." Germany's Uli Hoeness ahead of the World Cup qualifier which England won 5-1.

2002
"I would buy some bad players, get the sack and then retire to Cornwall." Sheffield United boss Neil Warnock when asked what he would do if he were manager of rivals Wednesday.

"I hope I don't come across as bitter and twisted, but that man (Mick McCarthy) can rot in hell for all I care." Roy Keane, not bitter and twisted following his acrimonious World Cup exit.

"I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not." The original Ronaldo after helping Brazil to victory with his two goals in the final.

"It was very sweet to see Argentina go out. It was just a shame that we couldn't have knocked them out directly ourselves. If we see them on their coach on the way home, we will give them a wave!" Teddy Sheringham refused to get too upset by Argentina's early exit from the World Cup.

2003
"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee." QPR boss Ian Holloway came up with the quote of the century to describe his team's lacklustre performance against Chesterfield.

"I knew it wasn't going to be our day when I arrived at Links Park and found that we had a woman running the line. She should be at home making the tea or the dinner for her man who comes in after he has been to the football." Albion boss Peter Hetherston on lineswoman Morag Pirie after his side lost to Montrose.

"It was a freakish incident. If I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could I would have carried on playing!" Sir Alex Ferguson on the flying boot that hit David Beckham in the face.

2004
"The man is United - cut him and he bleeds red." Alan Brazil's priceless evaluation of Sir Alex Ferguson.

Gary Lineker: "So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?" Gordon Strachan: "If I was English I'd top myself!" Pundit Strachan showed just why the BBC hired him for Euro 2004.

"Hello my sharks, welcome to the funeral." Claudio Ranieri to the press before Chelsea's Champions League semi-final second leg with Monaco.

"He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself." Last word to Bobby Robson - and his assessment of Craig Bellamy.

2005
"A message for the best football supporters in the world: We need a 12th man here. Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you!" Delia Smith tried to rally the troops with her infamous half-time rant at Norwich-Man City.

"He is like Merlin the Magician and Dr Who rolled into one." PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor on Thierry Henry.

"I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, they have a big telescope to see what happens in other families." Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho opened a war of words with Arsene Wenger, claiming the Arsenal boss was obsessed with Chelsea.

"John Toshack said it was my way or the highway - well I'm on the M56." Robbie Savage on his decision to quit international football with Wales.

2006
"I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season." Ian Holloway was quite pleased after QPR beat Cardiff.

"Where did you get the nickname Dickie Dosh from?" Ray Stubbs to Walsall manager Richard Money.

"You have to take it on the chin - or in my case, chins!" Steve Bruce after Birmingham's 7-0 thrashing by Liverpool in the FA Cup.

"My dad used to referee me when I was a kid. I remember him booking me - and asking my name." Coventry's Kevin Kyle.

"If he was on fire I'd dial 998." Notts County manager Steve Thompson talking about the referee after he sent off two players during their defeat at MK Dons.

"Last week I was so low I could have walked under a door with a top hat." Ipswich manager Jim Magilton.

2007
"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem." Jose Mourinho was desperate for Chelsea to scramble a win from somewhere.

"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away." Mourinho used his post-FA Cup final speech to reassure the population that his runaway Yorkie had left the country.

"I am not the Special One - I am the Normal One." New Chelsea boss Avram Grant introduced himself to the media.

"If we're talking lookalikes he's Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?" But Ian Holloway had other ideas on what Grant should be called

"I reckon he left the club in a much better state than when he took over." Text message to BBC 5 live after Leroy Rosenior lasted just 10 minutes as Torquay manager.

"Up front we played like world beaters - at the back it was more like panel-beaters." Wigan manager Paul Jewell on a 3-3 draw with Spurs.

2008
"Charles dreamt I had an affair with Steve Coppell. I said to him, 'Thanks a lot! You might have made it Mourinho!" Cooking goddess Nigella Lawson revealed who hubby Charles Saatchi thought was the man of her dreams.

"We scored three today and 99 times out of 10 that means a win." Brighton assistant manager Dean White after the 3-3 draw with Cheltenham.

"Gareth Jellyman of Mansfield Town has been sent off, hope he doesn't throw a wobbly!" Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test match cricket."
Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?"
During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough.

2009
"I lost sight of the official ball and stayed on the red one. I went for the red ball instinctively as it was the closest to me and the other went past me." Pepe Reina on THAT beach ball

"He almost caught it and ran into the net with it." Robbie Keane on the handball by Thierry Henry that cost Ireland a place in the World Cup.

"The ball hit my hand, I will be honest." Henry came clean - eventually.

"Jermaine is really generous - he bought me some Christian Louboutin shoes for Christmas which I love. But the best present he ever got is priceless - a tattoo of my face on his forearm." Jermaine Jenas' fiancee revealed the price of true love.

"The penalty decision was Old Traffordish." Words couldn't describe how Wenger felt about a Man Utd spot-kick - so he made one up.

"It's just the two of us. We'll probably ride out in the sunset together." Sir Alex Ferguson on his relationship with Wenger.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark." Blackpool boss Ian Holloway.

"We looked like a woman who's got a big fur coat on and underneath she's got no knickers." Micky Adams after his Port Vale team lost 3-1 to Notts County.

"My missus could have scored that." Redknapp after Darren Bent's glaring miss against Portsmouth.

"I'm going down the apples and pears, into the jam jar, down the frog and toad into the rub-da-dub-dub, and I'm going to have pig's ear." West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola when asked on the club's website if had learnt any Cockney phrases.

"I played with Gary at Newcastle. We called him 'pilot light' as he never went out." Chris Waddle talking about Gary Megson on Dubai TV.

"Zaki's still away with the Pharaohs..." 5 live summariser Stuart Hall describing Wigan's line-up before their match with Arsenal - striker Amr Zaki was in Egypt.

"The full name of this team is Liga Deportiva Universitaria De Quito - a slap in the face for the man who starts the chant 'Give me an L'. " Dave Woods during the World Club Cup final.

"I don't like John Terry and I never have. He's got funny eyes and he's a cry baby. He's also a Cockney." Man City fan Noel Gallagher on why he didn't want John Terry at Eastlands.

"He was a lion of a man. Make that three lions." Gary Lineker's tribute to Bobby Robson at the former England manager's memorial service.

N&R Cup 1st Round

Ties to be played over the FA Cup 3rd Round weekend. Manager with the most weekly points wins, a draw will result in a replay. 5 managers got byes, they were:

Mark Wenman

Ian France

Glenn Francis

Ben Guarino

Rob Munden.

Draw for the N&R Cup 1st Round:

Leigh Langton v Nigel Tatlock

Neil Cryer v Soozie Syrett

Tim Harris v Richard Nathan

Chris Wright v Dan Martin

Peter Godfrey v Huw Thomas

Hilary Flynn v Ben Graves

Chris Waterman v Lee Baughan

Paul Kelleher v Kirsty Baillie

Rob Saxon v Scott Morgan

Danny Rose v Paul Long

Simon Newport v Neil Reynolds

Mark Dewberry v Lee Horne

Sarah Sheron v James Ashworth

Barry Paull v Brian Rutter

Megan McLeod v Steve Black

Davor Duvancic v Aaron Bardon

Martin Singleton v Alex Byatt

Mark Simmons v Alex Boswell

Henry Williams v Feldbruegge/Malloy

Ian Kennett v Barry Plummer

James Down v Keith Read

Ian Monohan v Ryan Saveall

Jason Syrett v Steve Merchant

John McGowan v Alan Oakley

Peter Doyle v Michael Stout

Stuart Kilpatrick v Greg Foulger

Neville White v Simon Ward

The tie of the round is the top 5 clash between Henry Williams and last season's runner's up Feldbruegge/Malloy. Other intriguing games look in prospect between John McGowan and Megan McLeod v Steve Black. Nobby plays last year's winner Neil Reynolds, whilst Ready visits James Down. Good luck everyone. Results in week 21.