The Decade in Quotes

2000
"I'd have given my right arm to be a pianist." Newcastle boss Bobby Robson when asked what would have been his dream job outside of football.

"He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right."George Best's verdict on David Beckham

"Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham treats a football like he does a wife - lovingly, with caresses." Brian Clough had different ideas.

"At home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch. I don't think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell football, never mind understand it." Manchester United skipper Roy Keane and the legendary prawn sandwich comment.

"I didn't play many games for Middlesbrough towards the end of the season - or at the start or the middle." Paul Gascoigne on his move from Middlesbrough to Everton.

2001
"I don't really like the north. It's always raining. It's very cold and I don't like all those little houses." West Ham striker Frederic Kanoute on why he preferred the the south of England.

"How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn't happened for 100 years. I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match." Germany's Uli Hoeness ahead of the World Cup qualifier which England won 5-1.

2002
"I would buy some bad players, get the sack and then retire to Cornwall." Sheffield United boss Neil Warnock when asked what he would do if he were manager of rivals Wednesday.

"I hope I don't come across as bitter and twisted, but that man (Mick McCarthy) can rot in hell for all I care." Roy Keane, not bitter and twisted following his acrimonious World Cup exit.

"I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not." The original Ronaldo after helping Brazil to victory with his two goals in the final.

"It was very sweet to see Argentina go out. It was just a shame that we couldn't have knocked them out directly ourselves. If we see them on their coach on the way home, we will give them a wave!" Teddy Sheringham refused to get too upset by Argentina's early exit from the World Cup.

2003
"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee." QPR boss Ian Holloway came up with the quote of the century to describe his team's lacklustre performance against Chesterfield.

"I knew it wasn't going to be our day when I arrived at Links Park and found that we had a woman running the line. She should be at home making the tea or the dinner for her man who comes in after he has been to the football." Albion boss Peter Hetherston on lineswoman Morag Pirie after his side lost to Montrose.

"It was a freakish incident. If I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could I would have carried on playing!" Sir Alex Ferguson on the flying boot that hit David Beckham in the face.

2004
"The man is United - cut him and he bleeds red." Alan Brazil's priceless evaluation of Sir Alex Ferguson.

Gary Lineker: "So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?" Gordon Strachan: "If I was English I'd top myself!" Pundit Strachan showed just why the BBC hired him for Euro 2004.

"Hello my sharks, welcome to the funeral." Claudio Ranieri to the press before Chelsea's Champions League semi-final second leg with Monaco.

"He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself." Last word to Bobby Robson - and his assessment of Craig Bellamy.

2005
"A message for the best football supporters in the world: We need a 12th man here. Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you!" Delia Smith tried to rally the troops with her infamous half-time rant at Norwich-Man City.

"He is like Merlin the Magician and Dr Who rolled into one." PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor on Thierry Henry.

"I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, they have a big telescope to see what happens in other families." Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho opened a war of words with Arsene Wenger, claiming the Arsenal boss was obsessed with Chelsea.

"John Toshack said it was my way or the highway - well I'm on the M56." Robbie Savage on his decision to quit international football with Wales.

2006
"I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season." Ian Holloway was quite pleased after QPR beat Cardiff.

"Where did you get the nickname Dickie Dosh from?" Ray Stubbs to Walsall manager Richard Money.

"You have to take it on the chin - or in my case, chins!" Steve Bruce after Birmingham's 7-0 thrashing by Liverpool in the FA Cup.

"My dad used to referee me when I was a kid. I remember him booking me - and asking my name." Coventry's Kevin Kyle.

"If he was on fire I'd dial 998." Notts County manager Steve Thompson talking about the referee after he sent off two players during their defeat at MK Dons.

"Last week I was so low I could have walked under a door with a top hat." Ipswich manager Jim Magilton.

2007
"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem." Jose Mourinho was desperate for Chelsea to scramble a win from somewhere.

"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away." Mourinho used his post-FA Cup final speech to reassure the population that his runaway Yorkie had left the country.

"I am not the Special One - I am the Normal One." New Chelsea boss Avram Grant introduced himself to the media.

"If we're talking lookalikes he's Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?" But Ian Holloway had other ideas on what Grant should be called

"I reckon he left the club in a much better state than when he took over." Text message to BBC 5 live after Leroy Rosenior lasted just 10 minutes as Torquay manager.

"Up front we played like world beaters - at the back it was more like panel-beaters." Wigan manager Paul Jewell on a 3-3 draw with Spurs.

2008
"Charles dreamt I had an affair with Steve Coppell. I said to him, 'Thanks a lot! You might have made it Mourinho!" Cooking goddess Nigella Lawson revealed who hubby Charles Saatchi thought was the man of her dreams.

"We scored three today and 99 times out of 10 that means a win." Brighton assistant manager Dean White after the 3-3 draw with Cheltenham.

"Gareth Jellyman of Mansfield Town has been sent off, hope he doesn't throw a wobbly!" Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test match cricket."
Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?"
During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough.

2009
"I lost sight of the official ball and stayed on the red one. I went for the red ball instinctively as it was the closest to me and the other went past me." Pepe Reina on THAT beach ball

"He almost caught it and ran into the net with it." Robbie Keane on the handball by Thierry Henry that cost Ireland a place in the World Cup.

"The ball hit my hand, I will be honest." Henry came clean - eventually.

"Jermaine is really generous - he bought me some Christian Louboutin shoes for Christmas which I love. But the best present he ever got is priceless - a tattoo of my face on his forearm." Jermaine Jenas' fiancee revealed the price of true love.

"The penalty decision was Old Traffordish." Words couldn't describe how Wenger felt about a Man Utd spot-kick - so he made one up.

"It's just the two of us. We'll probably ride out in the sunset together." Sir Alex Ferguson on his relationship with Wenger.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark." Blackpool boss Ian Holloway.

"We looked like a woman who's got a big fur coat on and underneath she's got no knickers." Micky Adams after his Port Vale team lost 3-1 to Notts County.

"My missus could have scored that." Redknapp after Darren Bent's glaring miss against Portsmouth.

"I'm going down the apples and pears, into the jam jar, down the frog and toad into the rub-da-dub-dub, and I'm going to have pig's ear." West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola when asked on the club's website if had learnt any Cockney phrases.

"I played with Gary at Newcastle. We called him 'pilot light' as he never went out." Chris Waddle talking about Gary Megson on Dubai TV.

"Zaki's still away with the Pharaohs..." 5 live summariser Stuart Hall describing Wigan's line-up before their match with Arsenal - striker Amr Zaki was in Egypt.

"The full name of this team is Liga Deportiva Universitaria De Quito - a slap in the face for the man who starts the chant 'Give me an L'. " Dave Woods during the World Club Cup final.

"I don't like John Terry and I never have. He's got funny eyes and he's a cry baby. He's also a Cockney." Man City fan Noel Gallagher on why he didn't want John Terry at Eastlands.

"He was a lion of a man. Make that three lions." Gary Lineker's tribute to Bobby Robson at the former England manager's memorial service.