Just in case you were too engulfed in the Olympics, here is a quick run through of last week's Prem programme. Liverpool clawed vistory from defeat after Pogatetz scored Boro's 2nd o.g. of the season and then Stevie G grabbed a winner in the 115th minute. Spurs were forced to go and buy another 4 players this week after a home defeat to Sunderland. Djibril Cisse on loan from Marseille grabbing the winner.
Stoke provided the week's most excitement, that's if you call 60 ft throws excitement, but one hit Sidibe on the back of the head and gave the Potters their first ever Premiership win. WBA are still looking for theirs after a home defeat to Everton. Osman and Yakubu scoring the Toffemen's goals.
Li'l Micky Owen scored for Newcastle giving them a well deserved win over Bolton, Blackburn and Hull played for 1-1 at Ewood. Fulham had the result of the week beating Arsenal comfortably at the Cottage. The 9ft defender Brede Hangeland getting the winner. Man U won at Pompey on Monday night and Chelsea sit top of the fledgling league table after their hard fought 1-0 win at Wigan.
Friday, August 29, 2008
You're just to good to be true
Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
Gerrardinho top the table after 14 days with 97 points, a full 15 points ahead of Dynamo Kebab in 2nd place. Rumours that bookies are already closing their book on Razor are unfounded. In 3rd spot is Gooner Win League (honestly these yoof's grammar is appalling) equal with Elland (Glad) Back and In Tatters.
A couple of points behind them are Glasgow Kiss (*still subject to a points deduction for lewd behaviour), then comes Brighton Blues. In 8th are Torres Rosso, 9th Philly Feet 2k8 and then a host of teams tie for 10th. Only 21points separate 10th from 40th.
Gerrardinho top the table after 14 days with 97 points, a full 15 points ahead of Dynamo Kebab in 2nd place. Rumours that bookies are already closing their book on Razor are unfounded. In 3rd spot is Gooner Win League (honestly these yoof's grammar is appalling) equal with Elland (Glad) Back and In Tatters.
A couple of points behind them are Glasgow Kiss (*still subject to a points deduction for lewd behaviour), then comes Brighton Blues. In 8th are Torres Rosso, 9th Philly Feet 2k8 and then a host of teams tie for 10th. Only 21points separate 10th from 40th.
Gerr-ronimo
Breaking News 88888 Week 2 scoresGerrardinho swept to week 2's MoW with a performance owing much to the man the team is named after. If Stevie G ever left Liverpool I do actually believe they would get relegated. Next up was a bright performance from two lads new to the N&R FL - Wayne and Tom from Ace. Dynamo Kebab shished their way to 48 points the same as Team Chong.
Sizzling Saveloys Bangers mustered 45, Philly Feet 2k8 strolled to 43. Towels on the beach wiped 42, Bollo*ks to Insurance placed 41, Hannoi Utd thaied down 41 also and In Tatters, er tattered a similar scoreline.
Last week's MoW Beaver Ruin was way down the pecking order with a lowly 14. For a full list of scores check the weekly table and scroll down.
Photograph of the week
A new weekly post - this was taken at a recent Welling United game after the away keeper had just let in a howler
The sack race
Nobby had a few buckaroos on David Moyes being the first man to leave his post this season and I got better odds than 8/1. However dear old Curbs (peraps, peraps) is so odds on it just ain't worth it. Here is the list of Premier League managers who the bookies reckon will get the old tin-tac first:
Alan Curbishley 7/5
Kevin Keegan 13/2
Mark Hughes 7/1
Rafael Benitez 7/1
David Moyes 8/1
Harry Redknapp 10/1
Roy Hodgson 12/1
Gary Megson 13/1
Paul Ince 13/1
Juande Ramos 25/1
Arsene Wenger 25/1
Roy Keane 25/1
Tony Mowbray 30/1
Phil Brown 33/1
Gareth Southgate 33/1
Steve Bruce 33/1
Luiz Felipe Scolari 37/1
Tony Pulis 42/1
Sir Alex Ferguson 80/1
Martin O'Neill 120/1
Odds from Betfair
Alan Curbishley 7/5
Kevin Keegan 13/2
Mark Hughes 7/1
Rafael Benitez 7/1
David Moyes 8/1
Harry Redknapp 10/1
Roy Hodgson 12/1
Gary Megson 13/1
Paul Ince 13/1
Juande Ramos 25/1
Arsene Wenger 25/1
Roy Keane 25/1
Tony Mowbray 30/1
Phil Brown 33/1
Gareth Southgate 33/1
Steve Bruce 33/1
Luiz Felipe Scolari 37/1
Tony Pulis 42/1
Sir Alex Ferguson 80/1
Martin O'Neill 120/1
Odds from Betfair
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Proud
Awesome wasn't it? To watch those young men and women stand on the podium with pride dripping out of them whilst singing the national anthem. It further makes the countries Premiership football players look even more like the attention seeking mercenaries they are. And despite football being the best team sport in the world, I often now look at footballers as individuals whereas our athletes in Beijing have reinvented the word 'team'.Being British has always been about coming second, or being brave losers, or purring over how great the Aussies are at sports (ooh, they didn't like it up 'em), but not at this moment in history. We are right to be proud of our Olympians, who have only reached the pinnacle of their young lives by dedicating most of it to their sports, often for little reward of recognition.
And for those men and women sat in tiny offices around the UK begging and borrowing for more financial commitment, well they deserve medals as well. The Lottery has helped fund the GB team to the tune of £264m and when the Premier League gets £1.7 billion from Sky and Setanta, don't tell me that isn't money well spent.
The 2012 Olympics is still underfunded to the tune of about £100m, let's hope some private investors can be stirred away from the boredom of the Premiership to the excitment of Team GB.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Nice Beaver
Breaking News 88888 Week 1 scores
James Down was recently seen in Atlanta by one of my spotters, and the heat and the baseball season ha clearly not got to his fantasy prowess after his fluffy team called Beaver Ruin kicked the season off with the week's top score and therefor claimed the fiver award, roughly translated to 10 bucks in toy money.
James was 9 points better off than the 2nd best effort from Rutt's Goonersmoan. From experience don't expect to see Brian's team that high again this season! In 3rd was newbie and fellow Gooner, either that or he is making an early run for arse licker of the year, Neil Reynolds with 46, then 3 teams tied on 41. They were Huw's Pot Noodle Miners, the Long's Brighton Blues and Razor's Gerrardinho.
Danny's Arsene Knows start in 7th place and 3 teams follow each on 38 - Glasgow Kiss (subject to potential points reduction), Shay's The Pohutuka and Paul Hargis' Real Ale Madrid.
Soemwhat surprisingly Simmons, Stout and Black feature in the bottom 4. Champions, Guinness & eggs and No-hopers each mustered just 13, but less surprisingly is bottom team Who are you calling Big Nose, managed by Ian Kennett.
James Down was recently seen in Atlanta by one of my spotters, and the heat and the baseball season ha clearly not got to his fantasy prowess after his fluffy team called Beaver Ruin kicked the season off with the week's top score and therefor claimed the fiver award, roughly translated to 10 bucks in toy money.
James was 9 points better off than the 2nd best effort from Rutt's Goonersmoan. From experience don't expect to see Brian's team that high again this season! In 3rd was newbie and fellow Gooner, either that or he is making an early run for arse licker of the year, Neil Reynolds with 46, then 3 teams tied on 41. They were Huw's Pot Noodle Miners, the Long's Brighton Blues and Razor's Gerrardinho.
Danny's Arsene Knows start in 7th place and 3 teams follow each on 38 - Glasgow Kiss (subject to potential points reduction), Shay's The Pohutuka and Paul Hargis' Real Ale Madrid.
Soemwhat surprisingly Simmons, Stout and Black feature in the bottom 4. Champions, Guinness & eggs and No-hopers each mustered just 13, but less surprisingly is bottom team Who are you calling Big Nose, managed by Ian Kennett.
Week 1 reminder
I do this just to remind myself really what happened last week in the Prem. Frankly it bores the bejesus out of me so I summarise it in a few paragraphs.
Midtable Man U held on for a valuable draw at home to the mighty Geordies. Arsenal swept aside WBA 1-0 and Liverpool grabbed a late winner at the Stadium of Light thanks to 'Liverpool's Number Nine.'
Agbonlahor gave Villa's fans a dream start by scoring three in their win over Mark Hughes' City 4-2, whilst Paul Ince won his first Prem match as manager of Blackburn. Ooijer getting the winner in the 94th minute.
West Ham rushed into a lead at home to Wigan, then lost scorer Dean Ashton and held on to beat Wigan 2-1. Stoke lost (probably not for the last time) at Bolton but Hull won, and I felt strangely pleased for those Humber inbreds.
One day Spurs will break into the top 4, but not one day soon as they lost on the opening day to boring Boro, even bleedin' Mido scored and Chelsea lead the table after they thrashed Pompey at the Rouble Bridge.
Midtable Man U held on for a valuable draw at home to the mighty Geordies. Arsenal swept aside WBA 1-0 and Liverpool grabbed a late winner at the Stadium of Light thanks to 'Liverpool's Number Nine.'
Agbonlahor gave Villa's fans a dream start by scoring three in their win over Mark Hughes' City 4-2, whilst Paul Ince won his first Prem match as manager of Blackburn. Ooijer getting the winner in the 94th minute.
West Ham rushed into a lead at home to Wigan, then lost scorer Dean Ashton and held on to beat Wigan 2-1. Stoke lost (probably not for the last time) at Bolton but Hull won, and I felt strangely pleased for those Humber inbreds.
One day Spurs will break into the top 4, but not one day soon as they lost on the opening day to boring Boro, even bleedin' Mido scored and Chelsea lead the table after they thrashed Pompey at the Rouble Bridge.
Road to Wembley - Oxhey Jets
Based in the Watford suburb of South Oxhey, The Jets were established in 1972 and play at Boundary Stadium. Last season the pitch was so bad, they risked forfeiting games, so the club dug deep and relaid a beautiful new pitch as told here.Oxhey Jets took on local rivals Hertford 5-0 in front of 58 people at the Boundary - almost a goal for every 10 people watching - how nice.
Jets opened the scoring after only 8 minutes when TIM O'MARA hammered home from close range, PAUL TURNER headed home number two after 24 minutes and Jets were in their own personal danger zone. Twice in the last two games Jets have thrown away a two goal lead.
Jets were in no mood for a tight half hour and this time went for the throat from kick off. With just five minutes of the second half played TIM O'MARA added his second and within a minute of the restart the Hertford defence was split wide open as a ball from Wayne Gladdy tore them open and JAMIE ARTHUR slotted and Jets looked safe.
Hertford pushed for some respectability and keeper Kevin Paul was kept on his toes, but it was Jets who had the last word, when TIM O'MARA rounded the keeper to complete a super hat-trick from a tight angle. Jets were thrilled at the result against their much fancied fellow Spartan rivals.
In the next round Oxhey Jets will play ay home to Ilford on August 30th. If you live local, why don't you get down to the Boundary?
What's in a name
54 entries, two tba's and not a lot of inspiration to be honest among this season's N&R team names.
A lot kept to their old favourites such as Californication, Goonersmoan, Hannoi Utd, Arsene Knows, Boys on tour, 2Infinity & beyond, Nancy Lollygaggers, Keep the faith and one or two others.
There was a sausage theme in both Ryan's and Soozie's name. Ready has seen the photos and told me it's more chipolata than polish. Guinness, eggs, pies, kebabs, lamb and pot noodles are all listed and Arsenal are mentioned no less than 4 times, which is not something we're encouraging. Mark Simmons will tell us that he names his side after his team too!
Cyril Smith I believe gets a first ever N&R airing. I do like a Hot Pink Center (sic), who doesn't? Dangleberry Rovers appeals, more so than Beaver Ruin (a place in Atlanta apparently). Barry Paull celebrates his move to Paris with a re-branded, as does Nobby.
I had to Google Pohutukawas, Pot Noodle Miners, Who you calling Big Nose and Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon (blocked by work not surprisingly, so don't even try!).
Simple but clever was Real Ale Madrid, St Mirnoff FC, Dynamo Kebab and Bent it like Bentley. but two of my favourites are Bingo FC, named after Simon Ward lookalike (see picture) and Sheron's ready to fac. Oh yes she is.
A lot kept to their old favourites such as Californication, Goonersmoan, Hannoi Utd, Arsene Knows, Boys on tour, 2Infinity & beyond, Nancy Lollygaggers, Keep the faith and one or two others.
There was a sausage theme in both Ryan's and Soozie's name. Ready has seen the photos and told me it's more chipolata than polish. Guinness, eggs, pies, kebabs, lamb and pot noodles are all listed and Arsenal are mentioned no less than 4 times, which is not something we're encouraging. Mark Simmons will tell us that he names his side after his team too!
Cyril Smith I believe gets a first ever N&R airing. I do like a Hot Pink Center (sic), who doesn't? Dangleberry Rovers appeals, more so than Beaver Ruin (a place in Atlanta apparently). Barry Paull celebrates his move to Paris with a re-branded, as does Nobby.
I had to Google Pohutukawas, Pot Noodle Miners, Who you calling Big Nose and Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon (blocked by work not surprisingly, so don't even try!).
Simple but clever was Real Ale Madrid, St Mirnoff FC, Dynamo Kebab and Bent it like Bentley. but two of my favourites are Bingo FC, named after Simon Ward lookalike (see picture) and Sheron's ready to fac. Oh yes she is.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Welcome to the 13th N&R FL
New, old, young and well ancient. You are all welcome to this year's Nobby & Ready's fantasy football extravaganza. This is where you will find all of the week's football hot topics. I as always, work permitting, will update every day or so and of course once a week the latest news from around the N&R FL will also circulate on here. Please feel free to comment or at least email Ready and I at the following addresses:
keith.read@layton-blackham.co.uk
simon_newport@agl.aon.com
This league to you newbies is all about interaction, known in the old days I believe as piss-taking. I work in Bermuda, Ready used to live in Thailand and still spends a lot of time there and without the N&R FL, which began in the mid-90's, we wouldn't have any friends left in London, or be nearly as rich!
We have 6 new managers and a couple who have come back to us - welcome. Some of you have been here since the beginning. We also have a few extra birds this time out, have no fear you will find Ready and I very fair on the sexism front.
The weekly scores come from the Daily Telegraph and come out around each Wednesday. I email the table out and link you back here for intellectual reporting of the week's events. If, for some reason your company block this, then let me know.
The very best of luck to each and one of you.
Nobby & Ready
keith.read@layton-blackham.co.uk
simon_newport@agl.aon.com
This league to you newbies is all about interaction, known in the old days I believe as piss-taking. I work in Bermuda, Ready used to live in Thailand and still spends a lot of time there and without the N&R FL, which began in the mid-90's, we wouldn't have any friends left in London, or be nearly as rich!
We have 6 new managers and a couple who have come back to us - welcome. Some of you have been here since the beginning. We also have a few extra birds this time out, have no fear you will find Ready and I very fair on the sexism front.
The weekly scores come from the Daily Telegraph and come out around each Wednesday. I email the table out and link you back here for intellectual reporting of the week's events. If, for some reason your company block this, then let me know.
The very best of luck to each and one of you.
Nobby & Ready
Photograph of the week
2007-08 N&R FL Champion Pk, being handed the coveted winners trophy by Michael Douglas at the end of season dinner and dance.
What, how and why
I will send out another copy of the rules with week 1's scores but the following is the transfer rule.
You get 12 transfers to make during the season, no restriction on how many players from each Premiership team. Just stick to the GBP 50 million limit and either a 4-4-2 or 4-3-3 formation plus a 'keeper. The deadline is Tuesday at 5pm. Email me to make a change at:
simon_newport@agl.aon.com
I will email back with confirmation.
The links on the right hand side are there to help you and / or pass away the insurance day. The first one of course is my blog about life in Bermuda. Below that are numerous websites that should help you with transfers. Whose injured, whose good, whose rubbish, news of any transfer activity, odds and which games are coming up live on the television. No excuses.
The next section will give you all the latest news from a number of websites, even from those clubs like mine who are insignificent! Plus the FIFA website keeps you up to date of the 2010 world cup qualifying.
Then there is a selection of websites that I like, take a look there is some good reading. And finally the Road to Wembley started last Saturday with the Extra Preliminary Round. For the newbies we pick a team from this round and follow them throughout the 16 rounds of the most famous cup competition in the world. If our boys lose, we then inherit the winners in the next round and so on.
After previous years plumping for teams such as Cadbury, Newport Pagnell, Romford, Odd Down and most famously Dunston Federation Brewery, who were our most successful first pick, this season I have plumped for Oxhey Jets, who are based in Herts. Some of you may know them. They are in the Spartan South East Midlands Premier League in the 5th rung of the football league pyramid. They won on Saturday and we'll be back with more on them shortly.
You get 12 transfers to make during the season, no restriction on how many players from each Premiership team. Just stick to the GBP 50 million limit and either a 4-4-2 or 4-3-3 formation plus a 'keeper. The deadline is Tuesday at 5pm. Email me to make a change at:
simon_newport@agl.aon.com
I will email back with confirmation.
The links on the right hand side are there to help you and / or pass away the insurance day. The first one of course is my blog about life in Bermuda. Below that are numerous websites that should help you with transfers. Whose injured, whose good, whose rubbish, news of any transfer activity, odds and which games are coming up live on the television. No excuses.
The next section will give you all the latest news from a number of websites, even from those clubs like mine who are insignificent! Plus the FIFA website keeps you up to date of the 2010 world cup qualifying.
Then there is a selection of websites that I like, take a look there is some good reading. And finally the Road to Wembley started last Saturday with the Extra Preliminary Round. For the newbies we pick a team from this round and follow them throughout the 16 rounds of the most famous cup competition in the world. If our boys lose, we then inherit the winners in the next round and so on.
After previous years plumping for teams such as Cadbury, Newport Pagnell, Romford, Odd Down and most famously Dunston Federation Brewery, who were our most successful first pick, this season I have plumped for Oxhey Jets, who are based in Herts. Some of you may know them. They are in the Spartan South East Midlands Premier League in the 5th rung of the football league pyramid. They won on Saturday and we'll be back with more on them shortly.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Steve McLaren
Not sure if anyone saw this, but it confirms Steve McClaren is a complete prize pr**k. Click here
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Letters
Dear Nobby & Ready
Before I announce my team for the FFL 2008-209 season I would like to make a formal complaint to the N&R FFLC (Nobby and Ready Fantasy Football League Chairman) about the conduct of one of my fellow manager's.
On the evening of Tuesday 5th August I kindly allowed Miss K Baillie (Manager of Glasgow Kiss FC) to look after my coveted FFL winners trophy so that she could feel what it was like to be a winner. Unfortunately Miss Baillie was not a very gracious loser and when it was returned to me it was not in the same condition as when I lent it to Miss Baillie.
It appears that the footballer atop my trophy now has a very painful looking broken ankle and he is finding it difficult to stand straight without sellotape being wrapped around his leg (I am currently out of superglue).
I am disgusted at the behaviour of my peer and urge The N&R FFL to take strong action against Miss Baillie and any other Manager's who think that they can behave in this way.
Sincerely
Paul Kelleher
Nobby & Ready will consider a points reduction at the next extraordinary meeting Pk. Luton got docked 30 points for past demeanours such as banning away fans, having a plastic pitch, and not having their seats bolted to the stand properly when Millwall came to visit. Therefore we will judge Kirsty on that basis.
Before I announce my team for the FFL 2008-209 season I would like to make a formal complaint to the N&R FFLC (Nobby and Ready Fantasy Football League Chairman) about the conduct of one of my fellow manager's.
On the evening of Tuesday 5th August I kindly allowed Miss K Baillie (Manager of Glasgow Kiss FC) to look after my coveted FFL winners trophy so that she could feel what it was like to be a winner. Unfortunately Miss Baillie was not a very gracious loser and when it was returned to me it was not in the same condition as when I lent it to Miss Baillie.
It appears that the footballer atop my trophy now has a very painful looking broken ankle and he is finding it difficult to stand straight without sellotape being wrapped around his leg (I am currently out of superglue).
I am disgusted at the behaviour of my peer and urge The N&R FFL to take strong action against Miss Baillie and any other Manager's who think that they can behave in this way.
Sincerely
Paul Kelleher
Nobby & Ready will consider a points reduction at the next extraordinary meeting Pk. Luton got docked 30 points for past demeanours such as banning away fans, having a plastic pitch, and not having their seats bolted to the stand properly when Millwall came to visit. Therefore we will judge Kirsty on that basis.
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