Unhealthy insurance industry

Blimey how much do they pay these wankers who survey people and then based on a few responses they then decree to the world what we already know. Guess what? Working in insurance is unhealty? Yes, I know we could have told them that but the BBC posted a survey yesterday of the top 10 most unhealty jobs and they were:

Chef
Farmer
Electrician
Insurance worker
Builder
Banker
Call centre worker
Truck driver
Engineer
Travel agent

How can a chef be unhealthy when you have access to some of the best natural products available? A farmer? Give me a break sitting on a combine harvester all fucking day. An electrician? Climbing on a stool and changing a lightbulb or two? Builder. What wolf-whistling to anything with tits and drinking pints of milk whilst sat on the side of the street. Oh yeh, very unhealthy.

A banker. Don't make me laugh. Have you seen their bonuses? A call centre worker? Living in New Delhi with all the curries you can eat. We can only dream of such an existence. Truck Driver noshing on Yorkies all day may be a bit unhealthy but compared to what we have to do?

An engineer. Oh yes in front of a drawing board. I suppose a compass and a ruler could be dangerous if inserted in the wrong place and a travel agent answering the phone and spending all day on Orbitz. Whoopee doo.

Insurance workers, now this is the most unhealthiest industry there is and don't we know it. Let me give you an example of my day:

Arrive home 1am. Drop a glass on the floor, cut toe, Missus nearly kills me.
Wake up at 3am to crying baby and dreaming about screwing an underwriter. Not literally.
Wake at 6am to worst hangover in the world. Think I'm having a heart attack.
7.15am. Get ferry to work, feel sea-sick.
7.30am. Greasy sausage sandwich, and burn tongue on sausage and then feel sick.
9am. Meeting with my boss, who verbally abuses me for not getting him home last night
11am. Ex missus gives me an ear bashing.
12.30am. Realise I have a bruise on my arm and remember falling over. Bloody hurts.
1pm. Meet a Charlton mate for a pizza and together we get depressed.
1.15pm. There is a fly on my pepperoni pizza. Might contact malaria or something.
2pm. Conference call and have to listen to miserable client chewing my ear off.
2.30pm. Get a phone call and told I smoked two cigars last night. Not good.
3pm. Still hungry and eat 14 Bendicks mint chocolates. My guts are doing sommersaults
3.30pm. Told I have to go food shopping tonight by the missus. Will have to fight the locals over the last turkey.
4pm. Realise I have my contact lenses in the wrong way and that is why I have been crying since this morning.
4.15pm. Another frantic call and realise just that my 31st December renewal is just as important as this blog. Feeling the pressue, may have to work tomorrow.
5pm. My arm is now hurting as it is twisted so far up my back by colleague who insists we go for a beer after work.
6pm. Nearly get run over by a moped as I run to get the ferry home.