Kiss my ass

Breaking news 8888 Serie A week 5 scores
Kirsty continues to lead Serie A, it has been a good start for our little tartan haggis, who smuckered another 33 points in week 5. Glasgow kiss lead ex-colleague Alex Byatt's Lovejoy luvvies by 15 points. Alex jumped above John Littig, who was last seen being carried out of The Kerryman on Thursday night!

Flighty Feet will be pleased with their start, 4th after 5 weeks, just ahead of I still *ing hate Chelsea and the league's top weekly point scorer Incontentia B uttocks. Ian climbed 8 places up the table in week 5.

Two managers, whose teams I have named because I couldn't be arsed to wait anymore, both dropped down the table - Lee Day's Make that 3 chickens and Neil Cryer's The Underwriting Cop.

I must mention my colleague and mate Brian Dougal. Currently in Eastern Europe making sure his girlfriend hasn't been coerced into working in the local industry, his Living in Sin boys are making fine headway up the table. 25th two weeks ago, Dougs is now in 15th, just 4 points behind the magic 12th place, and only 2 behind Davor's #1 Strugglers. Rumour has it that the tall Croatian (who supposedly works in my team) maybe back at work next week after having his visa renewed. Fcuk me, they bloody give them away don't they?

At the bottom of the pile is Francey. Vote Seagulls Party are struggling after a season low weekly score of 4 points. Fabulous Fabregas and Le Guen's Revolution (great result the weekend Sweats!) all move up a spot.