In the headlines - Out on the leash

This bird is back on our TV screens here but not looking as pleased with herself as she was when she was back in lovely Iraq.

This is Lynndie England, the US soldier notorious for holding a naked inmate by a leash in the Abu Ghraib prison. Probably not a bad thing on its own, but getting your mate to take a picture and then going to Boots to get it developed? Plain stupid.

Old Lynndie, a former West Virginia chicken factory worker (whose ex-best customer Lee Day she lists as a friend) is quite frankly hideous out of uniform but the Abu Ghraib pin-up girl was in court on Tuesday and the 22-year-old Army clerk was sentenced to three years in prison by a military tribunal.

Lynndie's attorneys said she has learning disabilities and her school psychologist (I must have missed that class!) who knew her from when she was 4 years old said that she "has a very complex language-processing dysfunction."

The court was told these things make it hard for her to comprehend complex language, such as English.

Perfect for the American Army don't you think?

My kinda town

I had my haircut tonight, its on the way home so I walked from the office but got caught in a huge rain storm on the way.

By the time I got to the hairdressers I was a soaked through. Maria, my rather large breasted hairdresser, (she's a good hairdresser honest!) greeted me and took my bag and I headed off for a hair wash.

The young bird who is employed to wash hair (its got to be up there with one of the worst jobs alongside a chiropodist and a body waxer) sits me down for the obligatory shampoo and head rub (the best bit) and there I am with my eyes closed thinking of train crashes and she says to me: "Gee, your pants are all wet!"

How the hell did she know that I wonder? What is it they say? Two nations separated by one language?

Team Challenge - Miles Smith early leaders

The early form of Sweaty and Steve Lee means that Miles Smith make the early running in the N&R Team Challenge event. They have an average score of 207 points after 6 weeks of the season.

Behind them only 10 points separates 2nd from 9th with Zurich in 2nd, Aon Fac R/I team in 3rd and the last 2 seasons' winners Marsh in 4th.

In 5th is Aon Property geezers, 6th are the lads from XLRe and 7th the new and the old from RSA (you decide which ones which).

8th place, only 6.5 points behind 2nd, is the liabilities from JLT and behind them in 9th is the big party of AIG underwriters.

And despite me bending the rules and including the fantasy leg-end Barry Paull and the supposedly knowledgable Bermuda Brit Dickie Norman, the Ex-Pat and Yanks team are bottom again. Give me fuckin' strength!

The table upto and including week 6 scores will be attached to the week 7 scores email.

My kinda town

I have spent far too many nights in hotel rooms recently. Thank fuck they now list porn films as ‘media’ on the hotel bill.

Anyway I have come to discover an important new commodity and it must be more expensive and rare than oil and diamonds. This new commodity is called shower gel.

Yep, in Boots or Walgreens you can buy a big bottle of your favourite stuff for just over a quid or a dollar but in hotels it is considered such a luxury that you get given just a thimble of it and then you have to make it last a few days. Its bloody lucky I don’t have anything sizeable to wash.

I can understand the scrimping in low-rent places like the ShagLodge but I have stayed in some very nice hotels recently (well, off course) and a dollop of shower gel is like gold dust.

Shower caps, chalky soap, cotton balls - fucking tons of it. Great if you don’t want to get your hair wet while you’re wiping the babies arse but not so good if you want to have a shower and be clean and not just wet at the end of it.

When I ring room service and ask for some more shower gel its like I’ve asked for a kangaroo burger served with beluga caviar and a glass of Cristal. “Some extra shower gel sir? Mmmm, we will have to see what we can do.”

It’s ridiculous and when the bloke does come up with some more, he gives you one more tube of the stuff. I’m on a mission to find out why hotels give you 46 towels, 8 flannels, a dozen soaps but no shower gel. Perhaps I should get on to the Gideons and ask that next time they are doing a bible run they can stick some Imperial Leather in the hotel bathrooms too

Team Challenge Trophy 2005/06

A bumper competition this year with 10 teams lining up in the N&R Team Challenge.

Marsh have won for the past 2 years but it looks like they will have some serious competition this time around.

Teams:
AIG - Waterman, Dewberry, Barwick/Higgs, Ryan, France & Cryer
Aon Fac R/I - Rutter, Baillie, Francis, Byatt, McGowan & Graves
Aon Property - Murray, Beere & Dillaway
JLT - Boswell & Bird
Marsh - Simmons, Doyle
Miles Smith - Lee, Baughan
RSA - Baxter, Day & Harris
XLRe - Plummer, Tatlock & Barrett
Yanks & Ex-Pats - Newport, Paull, Norman, Feldbruegge & Dougal
Zurich - Oakley & Crowley

The first table will be produced soon but it is a close start with only 40 points separating the 10 teams. Good luck to all.

Jose Godfrey

Breaking news 8888 Week 6 scores
He might hate the Premiership money-bags but Godders ain't doing a bad impression of Jose's charges' himself. Week 6 saw I *ucking hate Chelsea collect their 2nd MoW award of the season, which already means that Pete has won more money this season than in the last.

Godders is sitting a mighty 63 points clear of PK's Rushden & Doggers in 2nd. Paul has also had a great start to the season after being top in the first week. In joint 3rd is perennial good starter Lee Day. His Chicken eaters share 3rd with our own little haggis' Glasgow Kiss.

In 5th is a surprise name in Mark Dewberry. Mark struggled for most of last season but his Davids v Goliath have had a fine start. Alongside Mark in 5th is namesake Wenners Utd.

Previous champion Barry Plummer and 2Infinity & beyond are in 7th with 216 points, 7 points ahead of purky PK's Blue Lagooners. Sweaty has also had a solid start and the Team Challenge Trophy could also be a target this year for Sweats as colleague Steve Lee is in 10th. I hate Gerrard started poorly but has had an excellent last couple of weeks.

Just below 10th are 4 teams who are stumbling backwards after good starts. None more so than Chicago Addick who spends week 6 outside of the top 10 for the first time this season. Partner Ready has also seen his side, Hannoi Utd, drop down to 12th and Dom Barrett's Woody's Warriors have faded to 20th after opening in 3rd. Better placed are So he got shot up the harse in 11th.

Ginger Rogers Daisy

Breaking news 8888 Week 6 scores
It is a real shame to see Tim Feldbruegge moored to the bottom of the table. He did so well last season to pull it around. No more pulling anything this time out mind as Tim is too busy Rogering Daisy Wright. For those not in the know Miss Daisy was the nanny caught banging Jude Law behind Sienna Miller's back.

The bottom of the table has the familiar faces of Goonersmoan (40th), Danny's Geeza's (37th) and Meg & Hannah's Bears (34th) but also some surprising ones too.

Not least last season's N&R Champion Pete Doyle. Rapid Ginger are in 41st after only being presented with the coveted trophy in Valentes a week or so ago.

Flighty Feet also set the league alight last season winning the Championship title but the Barwick and Higgs (I hope he is a looker Karen because his surname is very dull) partnership has started appallingly. Tatters top tips had a grand first N&R FL season but they too have started badly, stranded in 44th.

Roffey's rejects and new boy Dickie Norman's Dark 'n Stormy join the thong down at the bottom of the table.

Tartan Desk

Not since the days of Aberdeen has there been a worthy third team in Scotland. But this season there is George Burley's Hearts, and they won their first big test on Saturday when with their high tempo game they brushed aside Rangers 1-0 at Tynecastle.

Rangers with Francis Jeffers coming on as a 20th minute sub are now in 5th place, 11 points behind the Edinburgh club who equalled their club record of eight straight league wins set in 1914-15.

Craig Beattie scored twice as Celtic came behind to beat Caley Thistle 2-1, thus avoiding another Sun headline. Hibs are 3rd and Kilmarnock are in 4th after being held at home to Falkirk.

Livingston are bottom without a win in 8 games and with only 2 goals on the board.

St Mirren lead Scottish Div 1.

My kinda town

When I first landed in the US, walking into a mobile phone shop was like entering a time warp. The phones were incredibly expensive and bloody huge. Batteries came with their very own backpack!

In almost 2 years mobiles have got smaller and cheaper, although the cost of calls, despite the onset of some serious M&A activity amongst the service providers, are still expensive.

It still fucks me off that I have to pay for an incoming call, and on the basis I reckon I get at least one idiot a week ringing me after dialling the wrong number, it is money I’d rather spend on happily listening to Kirsty Baillie given me drunken booty calls late at night on her way home from Romford!

Now all this is just padding for what I really want to whine about. Why do our American cousins insist on attaching their cell phones to their belts? What’s with that? What if they don’t wear a belt? Do they buy trousers two sizes too big, just so they can wear a belt so they can clip their phones to it?

You also get to see a whole array of items attached to the belt – mobile, Blackberry, keys, office building pass, cheeseburger. Going to the loo must take some planning.

Now, if that was bad enough already, there is a new craze sweeping the US, Wireless. This means for 24 hours a day, even in bed, Yanks attach a ‘Star Trek’ type contraction to one of their ears.

Earpiece, microphone, flashing light, it looks as if they are bringing in the space shuttle to land rather than waiting for their other halves to ring to see what they want for dinner.

I’m not sure what’s worse? Whatever it is, it’s an easy way to spot an American. Lets face it the fat guy in the cowboy hat eating a fuck-off big cheeseburger could be from anywhere.

Condolences

Sad news reaches me out in Chicago of the recent deaths of two superb London Market characters.

Norman Kemp was the Sun Alliance for many years. He was great company and had a fantastic sharp wit. He retired a few years back and he passed away I understand whilst doing his daily work out in the gym. Contact Alex Baxter or Lee Day for more information on Norman.

Dave Mitchell did what nearly all of us would like to do a couple of years back when he ditched insurance in his mid-40's and sold up and moved to Devon. Dave passed away last week following a illness. Sadly him and his wife only adopted a little child a year ago. Contact Simon Nevill for more information on Dave.

Our condolences go out to both Norman & Dave's friends and relatives.

Wenners a winner

Breaking news 8888 Week 5 scores
After a break for the World Cup qualifiers Wenners United were quickest back in the groove in week 5 after snagging the week's best score with 49 points. Mark hurdled 10 teams to move into 5th place. Next up was Hilary Ryan's London Irish who walloped 46 points. Hilary climbs 12 places to 16th.

2Infinity & beyond and Sodding window cleaners continued their steady start to this season scoring 37 and 36 respectively.

Other good weeks were had by league leader I *ucking hate Chelsea (35), Second last again (34), Davids v Goliath (32), Chicken eaters (31) and So he got shot up the harse (31).

Rogering Daisy Wright must be getting quite messy because her arse is stuck to the bottom of the table with 5 weeks gone. Yet again the lowest score for Tim and they find themselves 19 points behind last season's success story Flighty Feet.

Outstanding prize money

Prize monies less anything owed including this year's entry money will be sent out this week by mail to those concerned. Thank you for your patience.

The following still owe me money from last year:

Danny Rose £25
Tony Murray £20
Alex Baxter £12.50
Glenn Francis £22.50
Tony Hepburn £15
Dominic Barrett £12.50
Alex Boswell £25

Please send cheques to: 8 Paddock Gardens, Wannock, Polgate, E Sussex BN26 5PW.

Whilst you are at it, please add £25 to the above for this season. Thanks

Road to Wembley - Enfield snatch replay

Enfield Town snatched a late draw against St Albans City in a bad-tempered thriller on Friday night at Goldsdown Road.

Conference South outfit St Albans were on the back foot for long spells as Enfield Town began this game at a fast pace in front of a big home crowd and did not allow them time to settle. Clearly uncomfortable with the tempo of the game, St Albans had to soak up relentless Town pressure.

Paul Campbell should have opened the scoring for Town after 35 minutes, but put his free header just wide of the post. St Albans replied hitting the bar, before tempers frayed completely. With both sides exchanging reckless challenges, Simon Martin was booked for flooring Steven Velandia, and two minutes later Town's David Allen was sent off after a challenge on Davis, as the referee tried to calm things down.

Despite being a man down for the whole of the second half, Town kept up the pressure and showed more endeavour, as they looked for a winning goal but it wasn't all one way. Nick Roddis was creating opportunities for Saints, but Clarke and Davis squandered most of them, failing to find the target.

Town brought on Kojo Ofori after 70 minutes and proved a real handful and subjected to some rough treatment as his persistence caused St Albans problems. He seemed clear when Ada brought him down again, but got away with it. Then two minutes from time, St Albans broke out of their half and a through ball found SIMON MARTIN who fired low under the outstretched Andy Hall.

With Saints relieved to have broken the deadlock it looked all over, but Town refused to give up and were level again within sixty seconds. Paul Campbell went on one of his trademark runs, and evaded two tackles before hitting a shot Saint's Paul Bastock could only parry. KOJO OFORI was on hand to fire home the loose ball to the delight of the home support giving Town a deserved replay.

Enfield Team: A Hall, Campbell, Penn, Gant, Allen, Woodward, Green (Ritchie 72), R.Hall, Hammatt (Ofori 70), Velandia (Brotherton 84), Morgan. Subs not used: Nyman, Smith.
Booked: Green.
Sent off: Allen.
Attendence: 525
MoM: Morgan

The replay will be on Tuesday 27th September for a place at in the 2nd Qualifying Round.

Godd-ness gracious

Breaking news 8888 Week 3 scores
Godders remains top of the N&R FL after the 3 week period of the season. I *ucking hate Chelsea are doing a Chelsea after hitting the 7 day best score of a huge 94 points - already a candidate for the season best prize.

It was of course a two-game week for most Premiership sides and Magic roundabout were another side to take advantage. Brian Dougal scored his highest ever fantasy league score of 82 points and climbed 18 places up the table to 9th.

New boy Steve Lee scored 81 points, which saw I hate Gerrard also surge 18 places up the table. Kirstie Baillie scored 77 points and watched Glasgow kiss move into 7th.

Scoring 75 points each were Sweaty, Nobby and Mark Simmons. PK's Blue Lagooners move into the top 10 at 9th, Sodding window cleaners jump 17 places to 10th and Chicago Addick goes into 4th behind Chicken eaters and Rushden & Doggers.

Other good weeks were had by So he got shot up the harse (74), RIP Vieira (72) and Wenners Utd (71).

For the 2nd time in 3 weeks Tim Feldbruegge's Rogering Daisy Wright notched the lowest score. Tim scored 33 and goes bottom of the league table.

My kinda town

I made an executive decision to bin going back to Chicago for one day on Monday and instead spend another day at home and then fly straight to Bermuda instead. Clever? Wrong.

I arrived at Bermuda's Hamilton airport on Monday night after having to change at JFK and watched the baggage carousel go round and round without my bag on it.Why was it when I gave my bag to a bloke at the transfer desk in New York, a terrible feeling of dread came over me? I knew then that I should have wished it goodbye. The greasy fat non-English speaking airport employee clearly did not have the same desire as me to get my worldy goods to Bermuda.

So, Monday night I am told my bag is at JFK in security and it will be in Bermuda early the next morning. On Tuesday morning I am told my bag is at JFK in security and it will at my hotel later that day. On Wednesday morning I am told my bag was last seen "at the ramp" and it will be in Bermuda later that day. On Wednesay night I am told that they don't know where my bag is.

I shout and holler but to no avail and I make plans for the insurance job. You know the sketch.... Rolex, Gucci shoes, penny black stamp, all very close to my heart.

So at 7am this morning I go to check out and just for the heck of it I ask, for the umpteenth time, the sleepy-eyed lady at the reception if they have had a bag turn up from the airport and like an illusion she pulls my case out of a broom cupboard.

After I hugged and kissed her realisation set in. "How long have you had this," I ask. "Oh, I don't know," she said. Hmmm, oh well just bloody pleased to be able to change my pants!

Abbotts rocked by Enfield

Our love affair with Waltham Abbey came to an abrupt end on in the 1st Round Qualifying of the FA Cup. Enfield Town from the higher Southern League Div 1 East beat them 3-0 to set up a tie against Nationwide Conference South team St Albans City.

In front of a lively crowd the two sides fought out tough game for a place in the next round. Under a leaden sky Enfield Town took the lead with a dream start when Matt Negus was picked out by a Rudi Hall cross. MATT NEGUS headed past John Hickman in the Waltham Abbey goal after three minutes giving Enfield Town the lead.

It was all Enfield but the Abbotts began to get into the game more towards the end of the half, Ayres having a shot before playing in James Elmes, the move only ending when Westley Rutherford's shot was gathered by Hall.

In the second half Hugh Ashman almost got Abbey back level as soon as he came on with a scramble in the goal mouth but the threat was cleared, and John Sapsford blasted a free kick into the wall.

A equaliser looked certain but a dreadful mistake allowed Town to extend their lead. Abbey's unfortunate DAVE AYRES nodded back to his keeper unchallenged only to see it go into an empty net as Hickman had come to collect. Despite efforts to get back into the game Abbey struggled to find that final touch and Town were more comfortable now with a two goal cushion. NEGUS was on hand for a second time to claim Enfield Town's third as the game went into injury time. As the ball was cleared from the Waltham Abbey box, he hit home a low 30 yard drive which John Hickman could only get a hand to, giving Town an underserved 3-0 victory.

Team : Hickman, Sontag, Burt, Ayres, Forde, Page, Homa Ashman (Sapsford), Power, James Elmes, Harry Elmes, Rutherford (Hugh Ashman)
Attendence: 314
MoM: James Elmes

Enfield Town now become our Road to Wembley team. They play host to St Albans City this Friday 23rd September at 7.45pm.

Premiership Plus

After witnessing Chelsea comfortably brush aside fellow title contenders Charlton on Saturday it is easy to see why most pundits are saying it’s all over. Sure they do not have the charisma, skill and awe of Arsenal and Man U in their pomp but it would not be beyond the realms of possibility if the Blues went through the whole season unbeaten. And as for conceding a goal, that too might also be a while.

Last season most football fans welcomed Chelsea to the elite as we thought 2 would become 3 but in fact 2 has indeed become 1 with Man U and Arsenal now battling for 2nd and 3rd place and Liverpool, in the League anyway, still not showing any signs that they can step up to the plate.

And as for Newcastle…..

Charlton’s great start has been a credit to Alan Curbishley who clearly thought long and hard about his future during yet another end of season slump. 11 new players were signed and a breath of fresh air has swept through the Valley. Bolton have also started well as have promoted West Ham. Last season the three promoted teams took at least 8 games to secure a win in the Premiership but the Hammers already have 3 and Wigan has 2, both crucially against potential relegation rivals.

The same can’t be said of Sunderland but a draw against WBA on Saturday at least halted a sequence of 20 Premiership defeats.

Everton have had a nightmare start and Evertonians must be wondering if the huge effort to reach the Champions League was really worth it with European football soon to become a memory and a relegation fight to take its place.

The Fizzy Pop League

After being the nearly men for most of the 6 years Neil Warnock has been in charge at Sheffield United, this season the Blades challenge looks very promising. After resisting bids for Phil Jagielka and adding well to the squad Warnock has taken United to the top of the table with 8 wins out of 9.

In recent seasons a couple of teams have proved to be runaway leaders in the promotion race and with the big boys Southampton, Leeds, Wolves, Norwich and Palace having sluggish starts, Reading have joined the Blades at the top followed by surprises Watford, Stoke and newly promoted Luton.
Millwall’s two wins on the spin has eased the depression at the Den but the jump up in class is proving too much for the other Sheffield club, Wednesday, this despite 20,000+ crowds at Hillsborough. My tip for a play-off place Burnley are second from bottom with just one win in nine.

In League One newly promoted teams are also doing exceptionally well. Kenny Jackett’s Swansea City after scoring 25 goals in 9 games are top alongside Huddersfield. Southend, who perhaps should be thinking of a season of transition sit nicely in 3rd just ahead of my tip Brentford.

Leroy Lita and Sam Parkin less Bristol City and Swindon sit in the bottom three, both competed in last season’s play-off’s but cashing in on their star strikers has done them no favours, nevertheless both teams sit above the hapless MK Dons.

In League Two no one has really set the division alight yet. Grimsby are top due mainly to their form away from the Findus Stadium (there’s probably a fish joke in there somewhere) with newly promoted Carlisle continuing the theme of promoted clubs doing well (West Ham are another one).

Chester, now under the guise of Keith Curle have had a good start as well. My tip Wycombe are 6th. Torquay surprisingly are bottom of the league pile on goal difference from the less surprising Bury.

In the Conference it is good to see the City’s of both Exeter City and York start well. And, well, well newly promoted Grays Athletic have had a flyer and are unbeaten in 3rd. Last season’s play-off losers Aldershot are suffering the classic hangover and are bottom of the table.

Summer Solstice

The time between the play-off's and the pre-season seems to get shorter and shorter, what with international friendlies at the end of May and ridiculous exhibition games overseas at the very beginning of July.

The summer has seen a real uplift in work for me as I get more involved in my accounts and work on a lot of new opportunities that have come out of the Spitzer Settlement. That git Spitzer has definitely made the whole "process of broking" different forever. So much of my job is now admin, and only goes to squash the entrepreneurism that is in all of us.

The summer in Chicago has been fantastic, with weather consistently in the 80's and 90's. I have been doing a load of travelling, mainly on business, here in the USA and abroad. A couple of weeks back I was holidaying in the Middle East. A very unique experience and which more can be read about here and here.

I also spent an enjoyable night in the company of the latest London Market ex-pat Barry Paull. It was very funny to walk into a bar in a New York hotel to hear "Oi Nobby" shouted across the room!

I have also stumbled across Tim Jones whilst working on one my accounts. Tim used to be at XL in London but the big Fulham fan went to work for them in Australia. It is a small world....

As I mentioned earlier I am collecting memories of visits to godforsaken places across middle America. I am sure some of these stories will spill out onto some My Kinda Town postings this season.

It seems London has got back to some kind of routine after the 7th July bombings and the further attempts 2 weeks later. Londoners will never worry about those tossers who try to interrupt our lives in the most brutal way.

For regular stuff on my doings in Chicago, check into www.chicagoaddick.blogspot.com if you are ever bored.

Since my hols I have been travelling on business and am currently in Bermuda. last week I was back at home (working) and it was great to see some of you for a pint last Thursday in Valentes. Once I get back to the windy city and put my passport away for a few weeks I will update the weekly scores and write some more stuff on the N&R blog.

Enjoy the season and the last few weeks of the summer.
Nobs

Road to Wembley - Inside track on the Abbey

Waltham Abbey are only 12 games away from Wembley, they must be worth a flutter Ready?

They meet Enfield Town in the 1st Qualifying Round on Saturday. Enfield will start favourites, they are in a a league above and will have the advantage of being at home.

But our money is on The Abbotts and here is insider info on our boys:

- They play in the Essex Senior League
- Fellow sides in the division include Romford, Basildon United and Hornchurch, who dropped from the Conference South because of financial difficulties.
- They play at Capershots in Waltham Abbey
- Barrington Brotherton and Albert Bostock (you couldn't make up this stuff) are two of their best players.
- Manager is Bob Ballard
- Best pub near ground is the Welsh Harp in Market Square
- They play in green & white hoops

Godders a bit premature?

Breaking news 8888 Week 2 scores
In the old days pre Premiership and Sky, the newspapers never issued a table until after 3 or 4 games. Not anymore, we even get one before the season starts. West Ham, Wigan and West Brom were in relegation danger even then!

So, we at N&R FL are no different. 2 weeks gone and we have our league table out for managers to either smirk or panic.

The first league manager was sacked tonight and I reckon Tim Feldbruegge and Nigel Tatlock already need to give themselves votes of confidence.

Also down the bottom somewhat surprisingly are Catherine Barwick and Karen Higgs.

But at the top it is an old N&R FL favourite, Pete Godfrey. 115 points in 2 weeks is a great start and it will give him a big lift in his efforts to win the elusive title 8 years after he last lifted it.

Last week's Manager of the Week Paul Kelleher is just 6 points behind Godders, with nnual good starter Lee Day in 3rd.

Last season struggler Mark Dewberry has had a flyer and is in 4th, just ahead of Ready & Nobby and Dom Barrett will be chuffed to see his decision to split from Alex Baxter is showing early dividends.

Ready takes weekly fiver

Breaking news 8888 Week 2 scores
Ready was the season's 2nd MoW and picks up an early 5 quid. Hannoi Utd scored 55 points, 8 ahead of Lee Day's Chicken eaters. Davids v Goliath hit the 3rd best score of 46.

Godders had another good week with his I *ucking hate Chelsea as did Kingas bottlers.

The weeks lowest score was had by Tatters top tips with 14, two less than Goonersmoan.

End / Start of season piss up

I'm back in the smoke next week, so put Thursday 15th September in your diaries. Venue probably Valentes (to be confirmed) at 5.30pm.

We will dish out all prize money owed and the prestigious trophies. Ready and I will also be looking to collect outstanding entry money for this season and any still owed from last.

Please come armed with at least £25 and your credit card!

We look forward to seeing you on the 15th, please mention it to anyone who knows us and fancies a pint.

Any questions email me on simon_newport@ars.aon.com or Ready at keith.read@layton-blackham.co.uk.

Nobby & Ready

Road to Wembley - Waltham waltz through

Waltham Abbey FC thrashed Wingate & Finchley in the Preliminary Round of the FA Cup 6-2. Wingate play in the Southern League, which is a division higher than the Essex Senior League where 'The Abbots' ply their trade.

Early goals from HARRY ELMES and MARC SONTAG put our boys on the way to victory. SLOMA and STOLERMAN levelled the tie either side of half time and for the watching crowd, it was game-on but surprisingly this encouraged Abbey and not Wingate and the home team went ahead again after ELMES got his second.

A header from LEE WHITE and a 5th from DON PAGE made the game safe. In the final minutes WHITE scored his 2nd to round off a great afternoon for the boys.

Interestingly (for me anyway) ex-Addick Paul Linger captained Wingate & Finchley.

Abbey Team: Hickman, Burt, Page, Ayres, Forde, Underhill, White, Power (Connelly) , Sontag (Sapsford), Elmes, Rutherford (Ashman)
MoM: Harry Elmes

More on Waltham Abbey later in the week.

Romford a pile of poo!

Goals from LEE WHITE (2) and an own goal from GEORGE ALDER saw Waltham Abbey beat Romford 3-1 in the Extra Preliminary Round of this season's FA Cup. 172 teams entered the qualifying round for the qualifying round and 112 Essex boys and girls gathered in Rush Green to see our chosen team Romford go out even before the season has started.

Romford's PAUL TAYLOR did get a late consolation, their first goal in the competition since 2002 (now they tell us). The highlight of the game was when the Romford groundsman was summoned during the first half to remove something a fox had left behind. A wag in the crowd was heard shouting: "He could have shoveled anyone one of those pieces of crap off!"

Romford Team: Finn, Lovett, Alder, Rogan, Taylor, Wakem, Bruce, Dean, Harvey, Clark, J Tolan.
Subs: Penny for Dean (55 mins), Howe for Harvey (84), Foord for Alder (88). R Tolan & Hayward not used.
Attendance: 112
MoM: Jordan Tolan.

In N&R tradition Waltham Abbey now become our team on the Road to Wembley.