It's only a game

They say a week is a long time in football and certainly I can't remember a week when so much happened in English football.

First of all after John Terry's trial was delayed until July, that decision meant that he could continue to lead both Chelsea to the end of the season and also captain England in the European Championships.

The FA panicked realising that the race trial involving the nation's captain was going to linger like a bad smell over the squad in Poland and Ukraine. Kiev is smelly enough and it was said that a number of England's players were already opposed to Terry leading the side, at least until he was found not quilty, if of course he is. Remember this is a criminal trial unlike the enquiry into Luis Suarez's slip of his Spanish tongue.

So the FA decide without telling Fabio that they will strip Terry of the captaincy but making it clear he can still be picked. Terry has kept his counsel, which for a bloke with a big gob must be bloody difficult, so said nada.

Fabio, the honourable Italian, a bit like the captain of the Costa Concordia, got all bent out of shape went on Italian TV and threw his pasta out of the pram.

Fabio flies back to his Knightsbridge pad, there's a meeting at Wembley, the FA announce Mr Capello has walked away very understanding and a lot richer.

No England captain, no England manager.

The country cries in unison for 'Arry Redknapp just as he walks out of court claiming that he was too stupid to fiddle his taxes and is met by a potential new employer ready to open an account in his goldfishes name in a tax haven of Nemo's choice.

Alan Pardew is the first to come out and say he is not interested. That made me proper laugh out loud. O'Neil agrees he would rather be at the Stadium of Light and all eyes are on 'Arry as he drives away in his Merc with the window down and him smiling and talking to the media.

The FA come out and say that they will draw up a short list, which I have seen and it looks like this:

Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp
Rosie the Dog

'Arry meanwhile says that he has never thought about the Engerland job, one because he is not paid to think and two, he thinks like a 2-year old.

Then on Sunday Redknapp's flying Spurs dismantle Alan Pardew's Newcastle 5-0 and 'Arry does a victory jig everytime Spurs score on the touchline. Ossie Ardiles was in the stands watching and has declared himself interested in the job.

Up in Merseyside an Everton fan runs on the pitch and handcuffs himself to a goal post. Hello.

But Liverpool fans have a more serious cause of complaint. Of course always the victims, they gathered at Anfield for a FA Cup game against their nemesis Man U. Liverpool fans with their shell suits and petitions are ready to welcome Patrice Evra, who is so guilty of being told he is a "negro" 8 times, that he deserves everything he gets.

He gets roundly abused as does Rio Ferdinand by Chelsea fans the next week for being the brother of the bloke also called allegedy a "n*****".

The FA must be looking for a new fixture computer after it throws up another clash between the two most successful clubs in English football (yes Mark, I know they have one more league title) and coincides nicely with the return of Luis Suarez to the starting line up.

I have no clue why the Premier League insist on the handshake before the game. The only reason I can think of is that with referees now being told to eradicate any proper tackling, a handshake is about the most contact players from opposing teams have these days.

Both Evra and Suarez agreed on the handshake and only the Uruguayan knows why he blanked the Frenchman - maybe it is customary back in his homeland, but it was a senseless thing to do and set the tone for the rest of the match.

There are still incredibly many Scousers who think that Evra didn't shake Suarez's hand. This is fuelled by so many ex-Liverpool players in the media. I incredulously listened to John Aldridge and even more unbelievably John Barnes both support Suarez yesterday morning.

I know there has been apologies from managing director Ian Ayre, Kenny Daglish (who I am sorry to see has come out of this whole sorry drama looking like a senile old man), and Suarez himself have all apologised but is too little too late.

In my mind it was only the club's American owners putting the screws on that made it happen. It has taken four months for Liverpool to admonish Suarez publicly and only because he refused to shake the hand of Evra. This has nothing to do with the Uruguayan calling his Manchester United rival a "negro".

I wonder what t-shirts the Liverpool players will wear next?

Funny how Suarez, whose whole defence was basically bad English issued a statement sounding more like a solicitor than a poor boy from Montevideo. In my mind Suarez can stick his apology and his racism up his arse and every football supporter in the country should drum him out of the English game. We don't need that sort in a sport that the rest of us love.

Back to the Premier League then and Mick McCarthy got sacked today after Wolves lost to their local rivals 5-1 on their own patch. I'm not suprised but if you need a fighter, a motivator to get you out of impending relegation, then there aren't many better. I hope Wolves can find one. Fabio Capello's looking for a job.

Then finally if I stretch the English game to Glasgow, today Rangers announced they will formally enter administration, automatically causing a 10 point deduction and handing Celtic the title. Rangers would still comfortably sit in a Europa League place but this is complicated by the fact that if Rangers come out of administration as a different entity, their UEFA membership would automatically lapse.

Phew.