Road to Wembley - Wantage Damage

Newport IOW manager Derek Ohren said he "felt let down" by the 5-0 thrashing at the hands of Wantage Town on Saturday. Two goals in the opening 3 minutes rocked Newport. The first was from a direct free kick by Richie Claydon that sailed into the top right hand corner and the second was a tap in from close range by Wantage captain gary Swann after a header rebounded against the crossbar.

Newport did hit the crossbar before Wantage extended their lead on 35 minutes from a penalty, Claydon notching his 2nd. Newport stuck to their task, with talented midfielder Iain Seabrook featuring in most of their action, but they were unable to break down a resolute and disciplined Wantage defence in which the back three of Tom Rowe, Chris Copp and Gary Swann were outstanding.

The second half started brightly for the visitors as Seabrook’s edge of the box free kick drew a fine save from Simms in the Wantage goal. The second half started brightly for the visitors as Seabrook’s edge of the box free kick drew a fine save from Simms in the Wantage goal. In the 62nd minute, Richie Guy replaced Wantage striker Sean McKeon, and immediately hit the spot, anticipating Richie Claydon’s cross, turning the ball past Webb with a sharp finish at the near post. Wantage maintained their control of the tie, keeping Newport under pressure. In the 75th minute, Gavin Jones blasted over the bar after Ellis Langford had broke forward and neatly squared the ball into the Wantage winger’s path.

A minute later, Tom Austin’s precise cross was headed narrowly over by Claydon, before substitute Richie Guy claimed his second and the home side’s fifth goal, Guy slipping his marker and firing high into the corner of Sam Webb’s goal. Two further goals in the second half completed the rout.

Newport: Webb, Newnham, Stay, Ovnik, Williams, Scovell, Powell, Smeeton, Evans, Seabrook, Shepherd.
Subs: McInnes, Gregory, Streeter, Knowles.

Freescoring Wantage Town FC will now become our N&R Road to Wembley team to follow. They have been drawn away at Mangotsfield, the Bristol based Zamaretto League, South and West Division side.

Road to Wembley - Newport IOW v Wantage Town

Don't forget if you are at a loose end tomorrow and happen to be out and about near Wantage in Oxfordshire then pop along to give Newport IOW a cheer in the 1st Qualifying Round of the FA Cup. I am reliably informed by Newport's website that only 9 seats remain on the coach if you happen to get shitfaced tonight and miss your stop and end up on the Isle of Wight.

Wantage play in the Hellenic League Premier Division, which is level 5 the same as Newport IOW.

126 varieties

Breaking news8888888Week 2 Table

Frank & Beans join Tanus Terriers at the top of the N&R FL table with 126 points. In 3rd 3 points behind are Wenmania with Aston Globetrotters in 4th. A little gap after Henry to Savlyuchenko Spurs. In 6th is Davor all the way from Jugoslavia. W Wallace boys are a point ahead of Pure Irish. Real SociableLad is 8th, and Bingo FC and Paris Eagles share 9th.

Outside the top 10 looking threatening are last year's runner up Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net, Hannoi Utd, Arsene Knows, Loads of Roubles, Gunner bag it and Vodka Hooligan. Lower down it is a To Elland Back doing so well as it is Rochdale Allstars. Current champs Gooner won league are 41st, Glasgow kiss are 43rd and Ben's "Special Ones" are down in 45th.

Brighton Blues are already adrift at the bottom by 22 points and Soozie-Sooz Sizzlers are also feeling very chesty in 58th place.

Pure genius

Breaking news8888888Week 2 scores
Recently Hilary was telling me that she gotten married and has changed her name to Flynn from Ryan. "Ah, an Irishman then," I said. "No a plastic paddy" she replied. Well there was nothing plastic about her performance in week 2 of the N&R FL after a 84-point week. A very impressive early Best weekly score leader after last weekend's games and a couple of other matches involving some of the Premier League teams. Hilary's Pure Irish climb to 7th in the table.

Savlyuchenko Spurs notched the 2nd best week 2 total with 79, one more than Frank & Beans and two more than Wenmania and Henry's Aston Globetrotters, or just Aston as they are now called after going out of Europe even before we get to turn over August in the calendar! Ready currently having his back and everything else rubbed whilst in Thailand must be enjoying Spurs start to the season racked up 75 points on the board for Hannoi Utd. Mono's Blue flag up your arse also hit 75 points.

One of the early season title favourites Loads of Roubles scored 74 and one of the early season relegation favourites Keep the faith scored 73. Jason's Gunner bag it managed a blind 70 and Tanus Terriers and Godders@mobileemail.vodafone.net weighed in with a tasty 69.

46 managers scored more than 50, few scored less than last week, Rochdale's Allstars being one. Real SociableLad and Goonersmoan the others and the worst weekly score was Brighton Blues with a miserly 22.

Double entendres

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports':
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis' misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Photograph of the week

You have to wonder why Sol Campbell would drop down 4 divisions to play for Notts County. Surely it just can't be the £40,000 a week salary can it? By the way Campbell will earn more in 2 weeks than his manager Ian McParland will earn in a year.

Crazy

It is perversely comforting when in the crazy world of modern football West Ham and Millwall's followers can still hate each other so much that they seek to kick, punch and stab the living daylights out of each other. I was secretly (i.e. I hadn't told my blissfully unaware other half) planning on taking us all on an early Christmas return trip home for the weekend of December 18th and hoping to slip into the Millwall game as part of the festivities. If she sees the BBC News headlines this morning I might be grounded anyway but nonetheless my new responsibilities will have got me rethinking.

When in the first line I described football as "crazy" I was actually thinking of Sol Campbell. Did he really sign a 5-year contract at 4th Division Notts County? I am sorry but it has taken a couple of decades for a football transfer to be more prepostorous than European Footballer of the Year Alan Simonsen signing for Charlton Athletic.

I actually met Campbell once, when he was holed up alledgedly accompanied by a friend in Italy to escape the hatred enimating from one half of North London after he left Spurs to join Arsenal in 2001. He appeared in a mostly one way 2 minute conversation to be decent bloke who just didn't live in the same world as the rest of us. But why sign a 5-year contract? I have heard of players dropping down the leagues but to do it one wild leap would only be attractive if you getting paid £40,000 a week. Oh I see.

I like to follow ex-Charlton players fortunes, well those I liked anyway and it was nice to read Steve Bruce compliment Andy Reid after he single-handedly demolished Norwich in the Carling Cup on Monday like they were, well a six pack of Carling. Demolishing the Canaries is clearly not all it is cracked up to be mind because both Deon Burton and Kevin Lisbie have done for Delia's boys recently but by all accounts Reidy has lost 22 millimetres of body fat. Good for him and like a lot of Addicks I have a small soft spot for Sunderland and it would be nice to see Reidy and Benty tear up a few Premiership defences this season.

Road to Wembley - Late winner for The Port

Newport held an FA Cup game at St George's Park for the first time in 5 years and 153 Islanders stood in a gorgeous summer evening to watch Newport IOW move onto the First Qualifying Round after a last gasp winner against Bitton.

The Port got a fantastic start after 8 minutes when a cross from James Butt to the near post deceived a defender and TOM McINNES tapped the ball in the net from close range to give the Port a deserved lead.

McInnes had a goal disallowed but Bitton were coming more and more into the game. In the 2nd half it was up and down as Newport's Iain Seabrook's shot was tipped over the bar by John Rendell but Bitton equalised on 62 minutes when Guy Cocks (imagine the songs?) low shot went through the Newport defence and into the corner of the net. 1-1.

As Newport sought a winner, a rasping shot from Iain Seabrook from inside the penalty area was punched away by John Rendell. In the dying minutes Tom McInnes was substituted by Freddie Knowles and it proved to be an inspired change as Freddie Knowles crossed from the left to the far post in the final minute and MoM IAIN SEABROOK teed up his shot before blasting it into the net from an acute angel. There was no time for Bitton to respond as the final whistle was less than a minute away.

It was the Port's first F.A.Cup win for six years means they now travel to Oxfordshire's Wantage Town on August 29th in the next round.

Newport: Steeter; Gregory, Shephard, Ovnik, Insley; Scovell, Powell, Butt (Evans), McInnes (Knowles); Seabrook, Hart.
Subs not used: Webb, Williams, Sprools, Stay.
Attendance: 153

Lee-der

Breaking news8888888Week 1 scores
London born Man City fan (that doesn't seem right!) Lee Horne leads the way after the first round of scores. In a Premiership week without a scoreless draw Lee's Tanus Terriers hit 57 points to sit on top of the season's opening N&R FL table. Rob Saxon is 2nd with Real SociableLad a point behind Lee. Serbian warrior Davor and W Wallace boys lie in 3rd two points off the top and old stalwart Danny Rose and Arsene Knows are 4th.

Bingo FC had a great first week as did both Rochdale Allstars and Frank & Beans, tied 6th. Wenners' Wenmania are 8th with Gianfrancophiles and Vodka Hooligan side by side in 9th.

Other notables were Paris Eagles, Old Bodeanians and Goonersmoan in joint 12th with 42, Glasgow kiss and Nancy Lollygaggers together in 17th with 38. Reigning champ Gooner won league and previous champ Savlyuchenko Spurs in 20th, Hannoi Utd with Mexican Banana Split in 31st, Bermuda Addicks complete with Tim Howard in 45th, Killer Kilpo in 57th, Cesc and the city in the penultimate 58th and shockingly Soozie-Sooz Sizzlers in last place.

Bermuda Triangle

So how was your summer, mine was hot. Been watching the cricket? Massive test starting on Thursday at The Oval, anyone going? Oh and how are those frustrating Cubbies?

This week I am back in Chicago and it feels good, rarely does a day pass when I don’t think of this wonderful city and I am hoping to catch up with as many people as possible and emerge myself fully in the Windy City this week. I leave on Friday for New York where I will meet my pregnant other half for probably our last weekend away alone for some time. Then we will be at the Pilot Pen pre-US Open tennis tournament on Monday in Connecticut before heading back to Bermuda on Tuesday.

Bermuda’s okay, I don’t think I will ever love it, one can take the boy out of the city but you can’t take the city out of the boy. It is beautiful, N&R manager Paul Long will tell you that, he stayed with us during the summer but it is small, very small.

Work has been quiet, for most people on the island July and August signals vacation time or a period for ex-pats to go back to their homelands, oh and watching the hurricane activity!

It was good to see a lot of you in The Lamb the other Monday night. I appreciate you coming out on hardly the most sociable of work nights. Keith and I carried on a bit later (that 8am flight to New York was a flippin’ killer) and held an impromptu extraordinary N&R FL board meeting at this lively establishment. The only problem was the ladies who insisted on climbing up on to the table why we were trying to conduct business!

Enjoy the rest of your summers.

Team Challenge Trophy

Willis won the N&R Team Challenge Trophy last season, and this year it is up for grabs again. 9 teams will initially start off, and this could change during the season. To take part we need at least 2 people from the same workplace. This year entrants are: Willis, RSA, Bluefin, Aon Benfield, QBE, Tokio, Lloyds of London, AIG and an Aon team encompassing members from three different countries.

The first Team Challenge will be out in a few weeks.

Kick off

59 managers from 5 different countries will compete in this year’s 14th N&R FL season. As always we lost a few but gained a couple of new boys. If you are a newbie, then welcome and if you’re an old timer, welcome home.

We follow the Daily Telegraph’s rules and regulations and the scores are issued on and around the Wednesday of each week. The updated table is emailed out with a link to the Nobby & Ready Blog. Transfers should be emailed to me no later than 5pm on a Tuesday to be effective before the following week’s games. I will email a confirmation back. No more than 12 changes can be made during the course of the season. Your side must not exceed 50 million and be in one of these formations: 4-4-2, 3-5-2, 4-5-1 or 4-3-3.

I have been looking at the team names, as usual a mixture of traditional, clever, dull and the ridiculous. The most absurd being Pete Godfrey’s, which is his unfathomably long email address. Seriously Godders is being made redundant soon, so is looking for a job. I will happily be his Mr 5% is you have any interest in an ageing, sorry experienced underwriter who has a soft spot for Charlton.

Californication, Megan & Hannah’s Teddy Bears, Loads of Roubles, Keep the faith, Brighton Blues, Lamb to the slaughter and Hannoi Utd are some of the old favourites whereas Aston Globetrotters, Jimmy 5 Bellies, Tanus Terriers, Egg chasing is best (sic) and FFC 4 Ever are some of the new entrants.

My personal favourites? Well I always wait with interest to see what obscure European league Doyley will research to find his team name. This year he has honoured Norway’s Viking Stavenger with his Ginger moniker. Singleton’s Turtle’s Breath poses a few questions, Real SociableLad is amusing, both Cesc and the City (Fabregas to Citeh in January transfer window?) and Savlyuchenko Spurs are crafty, Mexican Banana Split is probably incredibly rude but best of all I like Oakers’ Old Bodeanians, our first ever sponsored N&R fantasy team.

Good luck to you all.

Photograph of the Week

A scintillating opening-day display by the Gunners to thrash Everton at Goodison 6-1. Goals came from Denilson, Gallas, debutant Vermaelen, Eduardo and two from Fabregas. Anyone got Tim Howard in their N&R FL team? Oh yeh, me!

Road to Wembley - Late Powell goal forces replay

It was Western League Champions Bitton who took the lead midway through the first half when the Newport IOW defence failed to clear. Newport IOW were awarded a penalty for hand ball in the 44 minute but Charlie Smeeton's penalty was saved.

The second half saw Newport dominate the match more but the equaliser only came in the dying minutes when ex-AWAC man DARREN POWELL headed in an excellent cross from James Butt. That reminds me I must tell you my funny Darren Powell and the Isle of Wight story one day!

Anyway Newport will bring Bitton back to St George's Park on Wednesday for the replay.

Attendance: 93

Road to Wembley - Newport IOW

And why not, my namesakes take part in the Extra Preliminary Round tomorrow. Newport IOW are only 14 games away from the FA Cup Final next May - let's get behind The Port as they take on Bitton from the Western Counties League. Bitton, which is near Bristol, in fact won their league last season and might start as favourites.

Newport IOW's origins go back to 1888, roughly 50 years before America was founded. They play their home games at St George's Park in Isle of Wight's capital, a stadium that once hosted an England U19 game. It has a capacity of 3,200.

Newport IOW play in a yellow and blue strip as they will tomorrow at Bitton. Their only claim to fame from what I can see is that Guy Whittingham (ex Pompey and Villa) once played and managed them. What I really like about The Port though, apart from the beautiful name, is that they are one of the few football clubs owned by their fans.

During the 2003/04 season the club went into administration and the fight to keep the club alive was taken up by the supporters. The Save Newport (FC) Action Group fought tooth and nail and were rewarded with a new Board with some directors coming from the original Supporters Trust. Great work, Come on you Port!

Welcome to the new N&R FL season

Well here we are on the eve of another very exciting Premiership season that will witness a top four of Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal probably in that order with a long gap to Man City, Aston Villa and Everton. Tottenham will replace Arry Redknapp at Christmas as Spurs fans get more and more irate about their lowly position.

Every other club will hope they reach 40 points as soon as possible before the administrators come calling and one of Burnley, Wolves and Birmingham will scrape to survival with Hull and Phil Brown's permatan joining them in the 2nd Division next season.

I hope you like our new look, I thought the Nobby & Ready Blog was in need of a bit of a touch up. Ready offered to do it but he is still learning to log on to his computer and last time he touched something up he spent the night in a Bangkok prison.

On the left hand side of this old bollocks is all you need to know about fantasy football. There are helpful links on whose injured, whose moving, player stats, and what games are on the box as well as betting odds for anything you can think of.

There are plenty of interesting footie links as well including sports news websites, both serious and not plus our Road to Wembley links (see above), Quote of the week and if you are really bored you can read my blog at ChicagoAddick.blogspot.com.

All the very best of luck, remember this is your go to page for all things N&R FL and anything else we can dream up.