Razor sharp

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Final Results
What a wonderful last week for Razor’s Gerrardinho who collected 23 points in the final week and surged to the Losers Plate title winning by 4 points over Danny’s Arsene Knows. Danny scored 10 in week 42, but last week’s joint leader and top dog for 7 weeks Sizzling Saveloy’s Bangers collapsed dramatically after just 4 points and finished 3rd.

Last season’s champion Pk and his Tallywacker’s Bukkake Marathon stayed 4th as 11 points wasn’t enough to break into the top 3. Panzo finished 5th in one of his best ever finishes whilst in 6th came Ready’s Hannoi Utd, a disappointment I am sure. Bingo FC in his first N&R experience was 7th.

Making a final run into the top 10 after the final week was Dangleberry Rovers as Ben scored 16. Leigh’s Shinawatras Dream finished a credible 9th and we hope Leigh has another crack next season. Alex’s Lovejoy was 10th, another manager who couldn’t put any real form together.

Outside of the top 10 came the Ace boys Tom and Wayne and their Dynamo Kebab joint venture. In 12th finished Mark Wenman’s Team GB, a disappointing season for Mark but a final push did see him climb 8 places in the final month.

13th was unlucky for Pure Irish. Hilary never really got out of the blocks unfortunately. Below Hilary was Ian’s Who are you calling Big Nose? Another poor return for the fantasy old timer. Team Chong improved on previous showings by finishing 36th overall – yes that is an improvement!

Rutts’ Goonersmoan will be disappointed with his midtable finish in the Losers Plate, Mono’s Cunning Plan ended up in 17th, an overall improvement of 1 place from last season, previous champion Ginger Rabbit was another who struggled to make a real impact this season. This year’s incarnation Ginger Rapids came 18th.

In 19th was Mark Simmons whose World Champions was entirely made up of Man Utd players. Mark’s clever tactics won him some good spot awards but he was sorely frustrated to finish below Brian Rutter’s team because that consisted solely of Arsenal players!

Lower down the table was Francey, however without the help of caretaker manager Ben, a worse finish would surely had happened. Unfortunately Keep the faith could not continue the inspired early form when Ian put Ben in the hot seat, but we hope that Ben returns with his own team next season and leaves Francey to struggle on his own. Last three seasons: 31st, 50th and 41st!

Meghan and Hannah’s Bears were 21st and Beaver Ruin with James probably suffering from the lack of football news media in Atlanta came 22nd, 43rd overall aand a big dip from last season's 2nd. Old fantasy pro Chris Waterman and his Californication were 23rd but at least he misses out on buying the team curry this summer, that honour goes to Barry Paull.

In 24th came were Pot Noodle Miners FC ran by Australian based Huw Thomas, 25th was Pam Ross and her cleverly named St Mirnoff FC. We never saw the best of Pam, better luck next season luv. Like Huw, Barry Paull was another who moved countries during the season, which is a fair excuse to a poor placing. Paris Eagle had their lowest ever N&R finish – 47th overall.

Next up was Nancy Lollygaggers, with Megan at least beating her English other half Michael. In 28th was Paul’s Real Ale Madrid, better luck next season Paul. In 29th was Wizzo and Curbishley is sh!t. Dave is probably right as Curbs is still not working after getting the boot from the Hammers. Dave, meanwhile had a tricky start and never recovered.

In 30th, the lowest American was John Littig and his Philly 2k8. John is now back in Chicago. Perennial N&R struggler Sweaty Palms was 4th from bottom. Too busy decorating will I expect be Lee’s excuse.

Surprisingly as low as 53rd overall was Glenn’s Lamb to the slaughter, with Michael Stout’s No-hopers in 54th but Michael did win the Penultimate place prize. Well done sir. Then last and certainly least is our very own Rochdale cowboy, Neil Cryer, the second most famous person born in Rochdale behind Cyril Smith. Commiserations Squire.