N&R Cup 1st Round

So what did the 1st Round of the N&R Cup produce?

The biggest surprise was Rutts defeat of top of the table Godders. Pete can now concentrate on the league of course. Another shock in the round was Alex Byatt beating John McGowan and Francey and Ben's huge win away at Soozies.

Sarah Sheron lost at Wenners and Bingo won big over Tatters. In the one of the rounds most enticing fixtures, Tim and Frank beat Nobby, and Steve Black had a great win at Dewbs. Jason overcame Martin easily and Neil Reynolds beat the man who came through the Preliminary, Chris Waterman.

In the closest game Leigh Langton will be pleased to read about his one point victory over Alex Boswell and just 3 points separated Oakers and Barry Paull.

Hilary lost out to ex-colleague Chris Wright and the biggest thrashing was dealt out to Glenn Francis by Doyley.

Here are the full results of the N&R Cup 1st Round.
Mark Simmons 7 - 20 Ian Kennett
Alex Byatt 33 - 26 John McGowan
Soozie Syrett 20 v 23 Ian France/Ben Guarino
Peter Doyle 63 - 13 Glenn Francis
Danny Rose 41 - 5 Michael Stout
Danny Matthews 47 - 40 Paul Kelleher
Tim Feldbruegge/Dennis Malloy 28 - 6 Simon Newport
Neil Reynolds 36 - 25 Chris Waterman
Mark Dewberry 23 - 36 Steve Black
Pam Ross 13 - 2 Neil Cryer
John Littig 12 - 31 Wayne Harrington/Tom Hillier
Megan McLeod 4 - 11 Colin Panzetta
Lee Baughan 18 - 44 Akshay Reddy
Mark Wenman 31 - 25 Sarah Sheron
Simon Ward 31 - 18 Nigel Tatlock
Martin Singleton 14 - 46 Jason Syrett
Leigh Langton 38 - 37 Alex Boswell
Chris Wright 44 - 35 Hilary Ryan
Barry Paull 22 - 25 Alan Oakley
Greg Foulger 37 - 17 Dave Wisdom
Peter Godfrey 29 - 41 Brian Rutter
Rob Munden 43 - 33 Huw Thomas

The above winners will be joined in the 2nd Round by Ryan Saveall, Ian Monahan, Paul Hargis, Barry Plummer, Aaron Barden, Richard Nathan, Ben Graves, Kirsty Baillie, James Down and Keith Read, who all had 1st Round byes.

The worst weekly score update

There has embarrasingly been a lot of activity on this scorecard recently. There as always will be a prize for the worst weekly score, and before you start puffing out your chests, this is nothing to be proud off:

1. Michael Stout, -3 points, week 31
2. Ben Graves, -2 points, week 32
3= Mark Simmons, -1 point, week 31
3= Alex Byatt, -1 point, week 27
5= Mark Simmons, 0 points, week 29
5= Michael Stout, 0 points, week 29
7= Mark Simmons, 1 point, week 5
7= Mark Wenman, 1 point, week 15
9= Ian Monahan, 2 points, week 22
9= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 18
9= Danny Matthews, 2 points, week 5
9= Mark Dewberry, 2 points, week 19
9= Jason Syrett, 2 points, week 27
9= Huw Thomas, 2 points, week 27
9= Peter Doyle, 2 points, week 30
9= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 31

Rather ashamedly the team that calls itself World Champions appears 3 times in the top 10!

Danny gets the horn

Breaking News 8888888 Losers Plate Week 32 Update
Current N&R FL champion is sure to lose his crown this year but Pk's Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon could still finish the season with a large dose of pride by winning the N&R Losers Plate. Currently with just 9 weeks of the season left they have taken the lead over from Sizzling Saveloys Bangers. Arsene Knows have moved into. Danny is having a good week after signing for Watford from John Clare's syndicate.

In joint 4th is Panzo's Projectiles and Gerrardinho. Hannoi Utd are 5th ahead of Goonersmoan and Dynamo Kebab.

At the bottom remains Cyril Smith with the No Hopers in the prized Penultimate place above them.

No change at top

Breaking News 8888888 Week 32 Grand Final Update
The top 7 of the Grand Final surprisingly looked the same after the week 32 scores. Bollo*ks to Insurance lead by 24 points with Gooner Win League in 2nd, 9 ahead of Glasgow Kiss. In 4th are Greg's Boys on Tour with Towels on the Bench 5th, Loads of Roubles FC 6th and 2 Infinity & Beyond 7th.

Then close behind are Gunners Bandits, Soozies Succulent Sizzlers, Hot Pink Center and Guinness & Eggs.

The biggest drop came from Nobby's Bermuda Shorts, and Preston Pie Munchers now occupy bottom place.

The benefits of Ginger

Breaking News 8888888 Week 32 update
The almost forgetten Doyley, although lets face it, who can forget the great ginger one, was MoW in week 32. First time this season for the ex-champion, which at least means he will collect a little cash at season-end. 63 points for Ginger Rapids, and his 2nd best of the season.

8 points more than Brighton Blues, still in with a great shout of winning some prize money in the Grand Final. Team Chong was next up, who are midway down the Losers Plate table. Then came a host of top sides.

Gunners Bandits and Glasgow kiss with 46, The Pohutukawas and Student Ninjas with 44, Elland (Glad) Back and Torres Rosso with 43, and then two of the leaders in the Plate Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and Arsene Knows with 41.

The week's worst? Dangleberry Rovers with a superbly crafted -2! The 2nd worse score of the 32 entire weeks.

Steve Coppell

It may not have escaped your attention but last week Steve Coppell, who I prefer to remember as a Man U great and not as Crystal Palarse manager, took charge of his 1,000th game as league manager.
Coppell began his managerial career at Selhurst at the age of just 28. "it's ridiculous to be absolutely honest," he told the BBC. "There were various times during that first season where I would have very happily gone to prison rather than the training ground." And who could have blamed him, at least the prison had four walls.

Seriously the fact that at just 53-years old he has joined a club that only consists of Sir Alex, Harry Redknapp, current Palarse manager Neil Warnock, Sir Bobby Robson, Joe Royle, Brian Horton, Denis Smith, the great Lennie Lawrence, Dario Gradi, Alan Buckley was a surprise, Dave Bassett, Graham Taylor, Jim Smith, Cloughie, Sir Matt Busby and Alec Stock, is a huge acheivement and should be applauded in a game that has become here one minute and gone the next.


Coppell played 360 games as a player, mostly for United but he started at Tranmere Rovers before moving to Utd in 1975 for £60,000. He also has 42 English caps. Sadly a dodgy knee meant he had to sadly retire at just 28-years old. He does hold the record for the most consecutive appearances for an outfield Manchester United player - 207 from 1977 to 1981 - which still stands to this day.

In 1984 Coppell became the youngest league manager when Ron Noades appointed him. Coppell set about rebuiling the er, *cough, cough* team of the 80's and built a young team around a certain Ian Wright, plucked from non league.

Coppell got Palarse promoted to the top flight through the play-offs in 1989. They stayed in the top flight for four seasons, and also reached the FA Cup Final in 1990.

In total Coppell has had 4 spells at Selhurst but was sacked by the orange one, Simon Jordan replacing him with Alan Smith. Yes quite a decision. Smith has not worked in football since 2001.
Famously in October 1996 Coppell become manager of Manchester City. He lasted only 33 days in charge and cited the pressure of the job as his reason for leaving the club. Still a very dubious decision but one that Coppell, who said recently that "he does not enjoy managing." probably had no qualms in making.

He has also walked away from Brentford after just a season and then worked at Brighton. 'Agent' Coppell took Brighton down and oversaw their 5-0 humilation at Selhurst on his homecoming (sorry Paul & Ian). He left the Seagulls for Reading and has been there since 2003 and is the countries sixth longest serving manager behind Sir Alex, Wenger, Moyes, Hereford's Graham Turner and Accrington Stanley's John Coleman.

It is fair to say I don't particularly like much of anything about Crystal Palarse, but I do like Steve Coppell. Congratulations on your 1,000th game.

Week 32 reminder

Premiership Saturday
Blackburn and West Ham battled out a 1-1 draw at Ewood. Andrews and Noble getting the goals. Crouch got two as Pompey battled back to beat Everton, Ryan Shawcross scored an all important later winner for Stoke from a Delap throw of course to beat relegation rivals Boro.

At the Hawthorns a point was no good for WBA as they drew 1-1 at home to Bolton. Danny "my surname is pronounced Shit Tu, sorry," got an own goal and Taylor scored for the Wanderers. Up at the top it was the first time for bloody ages that both Chelsea and Man U lost on Saturday.

In fact it was the first time for 147 games that United has lost back to back games. Scholes and Rooney were sent off as Murphy and then Gera scored for Foolham in a famous victory. Modric got the Spurs winner over Chelski.

Arsenal meanwhile won at Newcastle pushing them into the bottom 3. Bendtner, Diaby and Nasri each scored and Martins was on target for Newcastle.

Premiership - Sunday
Liverpool's goal fest just keeps coming. A Gerrard hattrick plus goals from Riera and Kuyt helped smash Villa 5-0. Friedel was sent off. Citeh beat Sunderland 1-0, and Ben Watson scored in Wigan's win over 'Ull.

N&R Straw Poll

We said:

Jade Goody......

a) Was an inspiration to young women
b) Was a publicity seeker who even sold the rights to her own death
c) Was an uneducated thicko
d) Was misunderstood

You said:

a) 16%
b) 40%
c) 28%
d) 3%
e) 13%

e) was all other comments such as "Racist Pig girl married to a thick twat" from our Royal Cheam correspondent, or from somewhere even further North we had "Was a misunderstood uneducated thicko and publicity seeker who even sold the rights to her own death."

Sadly b) won the vote. Personally I hope she has increased cancer awareness to young women.

Pk as always had his view on Jade, thus: "Not wishing to speak ill of the dead but the papers have gone really quiet on her in the last week............do you think she died early last week and Max Clifford released the news to co-incide with mothers day.....? Staged to give her even more publicity and get more outpours of grief for her family and her kids?" With the adorable Mr Clifford, that is a distinct possiblity of course.

However we will leave this Straw Poll to our Atlanta correspondent, James:

"A talentless waste of space who I guess took advantage of the public’s seemingly unfathomable obsession with everything she did.

Yes, it is always sad when someone dies, yes it is sad when they die of cancer as we seem no nearer a cure, and yes it is sad when someone dies at a young age.

However, the memory loss suffered by so many is staggering, leading to Jade being labeled the new “People’s Princess” – What the f*#@?!?!?! This is the same Jade Goody who was outed on National TV for being openly racist, who was vilified by the tabloid press and the pond life who lap up celebrity news. The same press who are now publishing memorial editions and opening condolence books on her behalf. I bet there’s a fair few people who wrote in to complain about her behaviour on Big Brother who have now left their message of grief.

I think her passing and the publicity it has generated says more about society today and the hunger for “celebrity” news than it does about any one individual.

I nearly fell off my chair when I saw it reported on the news in the US. I had to turn over and watch Girls Next Door instead! " And who can blame him for that.

Photograph of the week

Nothing to do with fantasy football, but I am sure one or two of you were very happy Saturday night to extend the St Paddy's Day celebrations further after Ireland claimed their first Grand Slam in 61 years in a sensational climax to this year's Six Nations Championship when they beat Wales 17-15.

Hilary celebrates St Patricks Day in style

Breaking News 8888888 Week 31 update

Hilary's Pure Irish had another reason to sip a few pints of the black stuff last week after picking up her first MoW award of the season. 61 points was Hilary's total and gives up her a big lift to move up the standings in the Losers Plate.

Oakers never needs an excuse for a beer, but Towels on the bench were just a point shy of the weekly award after scoring 60, the same score as Beaver Ruin, who I'm sure could have found one of America's apparent 65 million people who consider themselves Irish to join in a pint with in Atlanta.

Down Mexico way Greg most probably downed a tequila after Boys on tour's 56 and Dewbs' Bent it like Bentley reached the same weekly total. I see Mark as a Stella man. Aaron uncorked a nice claret whilst Rob Munden poured himself a John Smiths as Torres Rosso and Elland (Glad) Back both knocked in a deserving 55.

Hot Pink Center cohorts Frank and Tim probably consoled themselves in a Miller Lite after their 54, but Jason Syrett I see as more of a Lager top man. Jase scored 53.

53 also for Keep the faith, a pina colada for Francey down in Brighton I assume and for Barry's 2Infinity & beyond something orange in celebration of Simon Jordan. Bazza too scored 53 as did Soozie's succulent sizzlers.

Soozie's favourite tipple is a large double of anything and to round this drivel of perfectly Steve Black, who also celebrated 53 points, added a fried egg to his St Patricks Day Guinness in Chicago.

N&R title race is on

Breaking News 8888888 N&R Grand Final Latest
Congratulations to all the Grand Final finalists. The top 10 will all share in the prizes come May, so almost half of the qualifiers from the Group Stages will make some pounds or dollars.

Just 60 points separates the top 10 after week 31 and just 100 (very doable with 11 weeks left) from top to bottom.

Who are the Favourites? Godders has done it all before but it has been a while. Whilst Godders is one for the sentimentalists amongst us, Neil Reynolds is competing in his first ever N&R FL and has been top or near top all season. Kirsty is attempting to be our 2nd female champion and is well positioned, as is Greg Foulger.

Two previous champions sit ominiously in the top 10 - Barry Plummer and Soozie plus one of our most consistent performers, John McGowan. Oakers, Nobby, Dewberry, Tatlock, Singleton and Munden are all going to have to produce fantasy form that they have not been capable of before.

Jason is another N&R rookie as is Sarah, whilst Aaron, Chris Wright, Shay and the father and son Long team each have a couple of years experience but what about an American winning the most famous fantasy football league in the world? Tim and Frank have had a fantastic 31 weeks and Steve Black I think is a good outside bet, he finished last couple seasons very strongly indeed.

Anyhow, after week 31 Bollocks to insurance lead from Gooner to win league. Glasgow kiss are 3rd, with a little gap to our Mexican candidates Boys on tour. Towels on the bench are 5th with Loads of Roubles 6th.

It has been 6 years since 2Infinity & beyond won the N&R title, and they are 7th, 19 points above Soozie's succulent sizzlers. Hot Pink Center are 9th, with Guinnes & eggs and Gunners Bandits tying for 10th.

3 of last 4 Champions in Plate

Losers Plate Latest 8888888 Week 31
The top 3 in the Losers Plate will be prize winners as will the ever popular Penultimate Placed team, i.e. 33rd in this group come the end of the season.

The interesting thing about the Losers Plate is that the group contains 3 of the last 4 N&R Champions - Kelleher, Saveall, Ready and Doyley. So if nothing else this also-ran trophy should squeeze some pride out of the contestants that also include experienced old hands Danny Rose, Rutts, Simmons, Francey, Kennett, Waterman, Boswell, Wenners, Paull and Sweaty. In fact it is still a surprise to me to see both Wenners and Barry P have their worst ever seasons.

Throw into the mix the knowing fantasy skills of Razor, Graves, Down, Byatt and Hilary then all in all the Plate could produce quite a exciting conclusion for those that did not make the N&R Finals.

So, after week 31 the leader of the pack is Sizzling Saveloys Bangers just a point over Panzos Projectiles and four ahead of 3rd place Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon.

In 4th Ready's Hannoi Utd has already stated his desire to salvage his N&R League season. Arsene Knows is handily placed in 5th tied with Gerrardinho.

A little way behind is Dynamo Kebab, Goonersmoan, Dangleberry Rovers and Bingo FC. Watch Man U laden World Champions down in 11th place though.

At the bottom is Cyril Smith, struggling I'd imagine to get up. Just above them in the sadly coveted Penultimate Place are the No Hopers with Dave's Curbishley is sh*t ahead of them.

Week 31 reminder

Premiership - Wednesday
Fulahm slipped upn at home to Blackburn with Diouf and Roberts replying to an early Dempsey goal.

Premiership - Saturday
Eboue scored twice at Arsenal thrashed Blackburn 4-0 at The Emirates. Foolham won away for the first time in ages at Bolton. Johnson, Davies and Kamara on target. Everton beat Stoke by the same score in the game I watched.

Hull and Newcastle shared the spoils 1-1 at the KC, whilst Marlon King got a late equaliser for Boro at home to Pompey. Wigan beat Sunderland away 2-1 with Watson and ex-Mag N'Zogbia scoring.

In the big game Liverpool opened up the title race with a huge win at the OT. Ronaldo took the lead for United from the spot but then Torres, Gerrard (pen), Aurelio and Dossena sent the Scally's home on a high.

Premiership - Sunday
Carew's late goal was not enough to stop Villa's slide as Jenas and the oft-maligned Darren Bent scored. It was Benty's 15th goal of the season. Essien scored as Chelsea beat Citeh 1-0.

Premiership - Monday
The Hammers and the Baggies played out a goalless draw at Upton Park.

King Richard

Breaking News 88888 Week 29 scores
Razor's Gerradinho floated to the top like the best cream to scoop Week 30's MoW award, his 2nd of the season. 82 points did and it but it wasn't good enough to qualify for the Finals.

Same issue with Panzo's Projectiles. Fab week 30 score (79) but not quite enough to make it through. Both these two managers should feel confident about the Plate though after these performances.

Shinawatras Dream had their best ever N&R fantasy week scoring 73, well done Leigh. Preston Pie Munchers hit a season-best too, with 69. Martin did qualify however. Dangleberry knocked in sweet 66, one more than Lovejoy, who also got a season-best - both these sides should make an impact in the Plate.

Loads of Roubles scoring 64, Gunners Bandits 61 and B*llocks to Insurance 59 all came out of week 30 with credit.

Ginger Rapids were the week's worst offender with 2pts, the overall joint 6th lowest score of the campaign.

The Groups - Final Placings

And that was that then. 17 week of group action - steady Sweats, put it away - and we have 21 teams qualifying for the N&R Grand Finals and 34 who end up being dumped into the Losers Plate. Prizes for all though - to be announced shortly. This is how it went:

Group 1 - The Ship
As expected old pros B*llocks to insurance and Towels on the bench qualified automatically and Preston Pie Muncher Martin slipped into the finals via the back door.

Arsene Knows, World Champions, Shinawatras Dream, Big Nose and Cyril Smith all miss out and go into the Plate.

Group 2 - Cheshire Cheese
The beautiful Sheron fac's stormed into 2nd place and automatic qualification by one point but Rob's Elland (Glad) Back still make the final 21 as one of the best runners up. And a 4th team Pohutukawas also claim a last minute place and with clear winner and also beautiful Kirsty Baillie also in that is 4 form this Cheshire Cheese group. Well done.

St Mirnoff, Ginger Rapids, Dynamo Kebab and Bingo all fail and drop into the Plate.

Group 3 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond and In Tatters go through but no others from this group. Panzo came closest but it wasn't enough. He, Beaver Ruin, Mono, Chong, Team GB and Curbishley is sh*t will all compete in the Plate.

Group 4 - The Lamb
Gooner win league qualify easily with Loads of Roubles and like the group above just the top 2 make it. Surprisingly current N&R FL champion Pk and his Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon lose out and will contest the Plate.

The Plate also for Dangleberry, Goonersmoan, Lovejoy, Real Ale Madrid and The Lamb to the slaughter.

Group 5 - East India
Another last week turn up for the books. Student Ninjas win this group at the death over Bent it like Bentley, but Dewbs does go through and so does Torres Rosso.

Californication, Megan & Hannah's bears, Keep the faith, Pure Irish and Paris Eagles all slip into the Plate.

Group 6 - New Moon
The group of death. A 3rd group that swung in the last week and my did I swing. Nobbys Bermuda Shorts spurted all over Soozie and into top place to qualify as Group 6 winner. Soozie's Succulent pair droop into 2nd but make it comfortably into the Grand Finals. And her bro Jason also made it in after Gunners Bandits just finished ahead of fiancee Sav's Bangers and her ex Ready's Hannoi Utd.

Sav, Keith plus week 30 MoW Gerrardinho, Pot Noodle and Sweaty Palms all into the Plate.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Johnny foreigner group of kings. Boys on tour danced through plus Hot Pink Center - great effort by Frank and Tim. Also through was Steve's Guinness & eggs and just slipping in as well was Brighton Blues. Bloody hell's bells 4 from the group of Americas. AWESOME!

Not so awesome though were Nancy, Philly Feet and the least awesomeness of them all Michael's No Hopers! Each go into the Plate.

The N&R Grand Finals Qualifiers

So the following teams have qualified for the Nobby & Ready Grand Finals 2009. As previously said, the majority of the prize money will go into this group.

Gooner Win League - Neil Reynolds
Loads of Roubles - John McGowan
Student Ninjas - Chris Wright
Bent it like Bentley - Mark Dewberry
Nobby's Bermuda Shorts - Nobby
Soozie's Succulent Sizzlers - Soozie Syrett
B*llocks to Insurance - Peter Godfrey
Towels on the Bench - Alan Oakley
Glasgow Kiss - Kirstie Baillie
Sheron's ready to fac - Sarah Sheron
In Tatters - Nigel Tatlock
2Infinity & Beyond - Barry Plummer
Hot Pink Center - Feldbruegge / Malloy
Boys on Tour - Greg Foulger
Preston Pie Munchers - Martin Singleton
Guinness & eggs - Steve Black
Gunners Bandits - Jason Syrett
Brighton Blues - Paul & Christian Long
Elland (Glad) Back - Rob Munden
Torres Rosso - Aaron Barden
The Pohutukawas - Shay Reddy

The new league table for week 31 will be produced for next week with these teams in the Grand Final. Teams will keep their current points.

The best runner up - how it happened

For those of you that were in the running - here are how the 7 best runners up qualified:

1. Preston Pie Munchers..... 957 pts
2= Guinness & eggs.......... 944 pts
2= Gunners Bandits.......... 944 pts
4. Brighton Blues............. 932 pts
5= Torres Rosso.............. 927 pts
5= Elland (Glad) Back........ 927 pts
7. The Pohutukawas......... 921 pts
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
8. Sizzling Saveloy Bangers. 912 pts
9. Panzo Projectiles......... 910 pts
10. Tallywacker's Bukkake M. 902 pts
11. Hannoi Utd............... 893 pts
12. Arsene Knows............ 884 pts
13. Gerradinho............... 881 pts
14. Dangleberry Rovers..... 876 pts
15. Goonersmoan............ 867 pts

All the 'losers' will go into The Plate. Your points will remain and a new table produced at week 31.

Bermuda Triangle

I had a most enjoyable evening last night in what is Bermuda's answer to The Lamb, the lobby bar at the Hamilton Fairmont Hotel. If you stay long enough you are bound to bump into someone you recognise.

Last night I'd planned to see Alex Boswell, who is here with Lockton on business, and we had a few bottles of cold lagers and a right good chin-wag. Was great to catch up and then we turn around and we see James Bird with someone he introduced as his client, I wasn't sure though, if you know what I mean?

James was a former N&R FL manager and is now at JLT doing boring casualty stuff like Alex. Triangulations, burning cost less 10 blah, blah, blah. And suffice to say a quiet couple of beers turned out to be home at 1am a little trollied. Remember I will be upset if you come here on business or pleasure and not get in touch. Nobs

Ready's Benfleet Bet - After the Quarter Finals

Here is the very latest on Ready's Benfleet Bet. The first number is the total of points collected thus far plus the points gained in the Quarter Finals minus last night's Arsenal daylight robbery victory over 'Ull City.

Francey and Ben still lead by a full 10 points - blimey Ian, what did you do before Ben? And I trust he is getting part of the $165m bonus scheme - he deserves it!

Danny is in 2nd, 7 ahead of Rutts with Ready, Mongo (who missed the last round), Paul and his son, Christian all in chase with 2 more rounds to go. Barry is in 7th.

Here are the standings:
1) Ian France 84 + 12 = 96
2) Danny Rose 77 + 9 = 86
3) Brian Rutter 67 + 12 = 79
4) Keith Read 71 + 5 = 76
5) Ian Monahan 74 + 1 = 75 *
6) Paul Long 60 + 11 = 71
7) Barry Plummer 61 + 9 = 70
8) Ben Graves 64 + 5 = 69
8) John McGowan 63 + 6 = 69
8) Soozie Syrett 64 + 5 = 69
11) Dave Wisdom 66 + 1 = 67 *
12) Simon Ward 60 + 6 = 66
13) Huw Thomas 60 + 5 = 65
14) Martin Singleton 59 + 5 = 64
14) Ryan Saveall 59 + 5 = 64
14) Barry Paull 55 + 9 = 64
14) Ian Kennett 55 + 9 = 64
18) Chris Waterman 62 + 0 = 62 **
19) Paul Kelleher 57 + 3 = 60
20) Peter Godfrey 58 + 0 = 58 **
21) Rob Munden 52 + 5 = 57
22) Simon Newport 46 + 8 = 54
23) Steve Black 51 + 1 = 52 *
24) Greg Foulger 49 + 1 = 50 *
25) Neil Reynolds 43 + 0 = 43 **
26) Aaron Barden 40 + 1 = 41 *
26) Alan Oakley 36 + 5 = 41
28) Nigel Tatlock 38 + 0 = 38 ***

* no predictions submitted for this round
** no predictions submitted for last two rounds
*** no predictions submitted for last three rounds

Week 30 reminder

There were a load of midweek games due to the FA Cup Quarters and there were a lot of points up for grabs. Here we go:

Premiership - Wednesday night
A late, late Manucho goal gave Hull a vital win over Foolham. Villa's miery continued at the Stadium of Manchester as Elano and lickle Wright Phillips socred in a 2-0 win for Citeh. Rooney and Berbatoc scored for Man U after Newcastle took a surprise early lead. Whose got Beattie? He scored again for Stoke as did Fuller in their win over Bolton.

Keane, Pavlyuchenko and Lennon twice all scored in Spurs first half demolition of sad Boro. Carlton Cole got the winner for Hammers over Wigan at the JJB and Blackburn and Everton were goalless at Ewood.

Premiership - Saturday
Keane scored again as they drew 1-1 at Sunderland. Kieren Richardson got the Black Cats goal.

FA Cup - Saturday
It was a walkover at the Cottage as Tevez (2), Rooney and Park all scored for United. At the Ricoh, Chelsea cheated their way to victory. Drogba and Alex on the mark.

FA Cup - Sunday
In the previous round Arsenal met Burnley and exacted revenge for their early season Carling Cup defeat. Vela, Eduardo and Eboue on the scoresheet, whilst at Goodison Fellaini and Louis Saha helped the Toffees beat Boro, for whom Wheater scored.

N&R Fantasy Cup

Time for the next installment of the N&R Fantasy Cup. If you remember Chris Waterman beat Paul Long 20-19 in an earlier Preliminary. The 1st Round proper will take place on week 32, over the weekend of March 21st and 22nd.

Here is the full draw:

Mark Simmons v Ian Kennett
Alex Byatt v John McGowan
Soozie Syrett v Ian France/Ben Guarino
Peter Doyle v Glenn Francis
Danny Rose v Michael Stout
Danny Matthews v Paul Kelleher
Tim Feldbruegge/Dennis Malloy v Simon Newport
Neil Reynolds v Chris Waterman
Mark Dewberry v Steve Black
Pam Ross v Neil Cryer
John Littig v Wayne Harrington/Tom Hillier
Megan McLeod v Colin Panzetta
Lee Baughan v Akshay Reddy
Mark Wenman v Sarah Sheron
Simon Ward v Nigel Tatlock
Martin Singleton v Jason Syrett
Leigh Langton v Alex Boswell
Chris Wright v Hilary Ryan
Barry Paull v Alan Oakley
Greg Foulger v Dave Wisdom
Peter Godfrey v Brian Rutter
Rob Munden v Huw Thomas

Remember Ryan Saveall, Ian Monahan, Paul Hargis, Barry Plummer, Aaron Barden, Richard Nathan, Ben Graves, Kirsty Baillie, James Down and Keith Read all got byes. Good luck to everyone.

Photograph of the week

Liverpool stunned Man U on their way to their quintet of trophies beating them 4-1 at the Theatre of Dreams on Saturday morning. Liverpool's biggest win at the home of their rivals since 1936!

Team Challenge - Willis Towers

With the news that Willis are moving into what was the Sears Tower (interesting article) in my old stomping ground in Chicago, Willis London's fantasy team (Joe will be proud) moved to the summit of the N&R Tower with some excellent performances from Ian, Sarah and Kirsty over the past month or so.

Willis hurdled RSA and now lead Greg and Leigh by 8.5 points, so still very tight just like Willis' expense policy. Into 3rd is Bluefin, the new name for about 10 almagamated brokers, including Layton Blackham where Ready has been promoted from coffee boy to executive director. Sav is now CFO. In between their Ponzi schemes the boys have managed to move from 6th to 3rd in the table and are Willis and RSA's biggest threat.

In 4th still are the dream team of Bingo and Wrighty at QBE and dropping two places to 5th are the newly formed Aon International pairing of Nobby and his Australian counterpart Huw Thomas, who the other week was explaining to me that a night out after work in Adelaide is very similiar to one in the City, except the strippers actually pay you to watch them.

6th remain the heavy boys of Aon Re, and the biggest climbers were the eclectic Lloyds boys up a massive 5 places with Tatters, Danny and Panzo leading the way. AIG and Ace remain unusual bedfellows at 8th and 9th respectively and just 0.32 points separate these 3 teams, which I find quite remarkable, even if no one else does.

Wizzo and the Aspen boys are in 10th just a couple behind 9th with Aon US still down in 11th, thanks to Littig's appalling form. He got engaged you know? Who'd want to marry him, I'd never know!

The Chicago Allianz boys got dumped down to 12th and in last place again is Price Forbes.
The latest table is attached to the weekly email.

One week to go - The group standings

One week to go. Top two from each group automatically qualify for the N&R Finals. The next best 7 teams will join them. The losers go in the plate.

Group 1 - The Lamb
Gooner and Roubles through, unless Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon can produce a miracle, but Pk is one of 12 teams I reckon could make it through the back door.

Group 2 - East India
Bent it look good. Ninjas hold second by 17 points over Torres. Aaron is in the best losers group. Think Californication have to much to do.

Group 3 - New Moon
Think Soozie and Nobby look safe. Bandits are 43 behind Nobby. But Hannoi Utd and Bangers are still in with a big shout.

Group 4 - The Ship
Bollocks to Insurance through, Pete currently leads the overall title race. Towels on the bench are also definites. But Pie Munchers and Arsene have both got a chance to qualify via best runners up.

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow look certs, but Elland (Glad) Back are not yet safe as the in form Pohutukawas and Sheron's ready are both on Rob's shoulder.

Group 6 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond and In Tatters are in. Panzo needs a big week 30 score to make the cut.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Boys are through, Greg is one of four managers with over 1,000 points. The race for 2nd place is close though. Two points separate Guinness & eggs and Hot Pink Center, but the loser of these two should safely make the Finals via the back door. Brighton Blues also look good for qualification, which could mean four from this group of oversees N&R managers.

Long shots

Breaking News 88888 Week 29 scores
Brighton Blues for the 2nd week of the season win the MoW award, Christian and Paul knocking in a respectable 40 points, which keeps their challenge up. Goonersmoan scored 34, with colleague Johnny Mc and his Roubles scoring 29 in 3rd, the same as Mono's Cunning Plan A.

Dangleberry and 2Infinity & beyond both hit 28, while Saveloy, Glasgow kiss and Beaver Ruin each scored 27. It was 26 for Elland (Glad) Back and Gerrardinho and 25 for Arsene knows.

The week low was a fat zero from World Champions and the No Hopers, which puts both Mark and Michael into 2nd in the worst weekly score.

Top 12 worst weekly scores

The up to date worst weekly scores are now as follows thanks to Michael and Mark's incompetence. Mark and Michael both have two scores listed.

1. Alex Byatt, -1 point, week 27
2= Mark Simmons, 0 points, week 29
2= Michael Stout, 0 points, week 29
4= Mark Simmons, 1 point, week 5
4= Mark Wenman, 1 point, week 15
6= Ian Monahan, 2 points, week 22
6= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 18
6= Danny Matthews, 2 points, week 5
6= Mark Dewberry, 2 points, week 19
6= Jason Syrett, 2 points, week 27
6= Huw Thomas, 2 points, week 27
12= Michael Stout, 3 points, week 6
Upto week 29

Week 29 reminder

Chelsea beat Wigan 2-1 with a late Fat Frank goal at The Bridge, whilst Arsenal dropped another 2 points at home to Foolham. Liverpool lost at Boro 2-0 and Everton beat relegation certs WBA by the same scoreline.

Collison got the winner at home to Citeh, Blackburn had a cital win at Hull 2-1, Bolton beat Newcastle whilst in the game I watched on the box Villa incredibly threw away a 2-goal lead at home to Stoke. Shawcross and Whelan both scoring in the last couple of minutes.

In the same week Hull scored the goal that never was at home to Sheff Utd. Halmosi got the winner for the Tigers. Downing and Sanli put Boro through at the Riverside against the happy Hammers. Blackburn lost at Cov but Foolham beat the Swans all in the 5th Round.

Rod Liddle says

A recent article from The Sunday Times' Rod Liddle. The Millwall fan's topic for his latest rant is Luton, but it is Brighton who indirectly get it in the neck:

"Brighton also get us (Millwall) into trouble, indirectly. A few years ago the Sun sent a black reporter to see if there was racist abuse being doled out at The Den in a game against Brighton. Shocked to the core, he reported that Millwall fans had been singing “Sieg Heil” through the game - big headlines, then, about Britain’s horrible, infamous neo-Nazi football club. Only later did the idiot ’fess up and admit that, upon reflection, what he had actually heard was Brighton fans singing “Sea-gulls, sea-gulls!” I’m not sure what I’d be more embarrassed to sing."

Click here for more.

Road to Wembley - Blues go marching on

Chelski reached the FA Cup semi-finals for the third time in four seasons with a convincing win over Coventry City.

Some poor Sky Blues defending allowed DIDLIER DROGBA to open the scoring on 15 minutes when he muscled Scott Dann off the ball and fired home.

City worked hard to find an equaliser but never managed to open up the visitors, who remained well on top.

ALEX made sure of victory on 72 minutes when he met Ricardo Quaresma's superb cross after a swift counter-attack.

Drogba's goal was part of an impressive display by the Ivory Coast striker, who has now scored three goals in the five games that Chelsea have played - and won - since Guus Hiddink took charge.

Our Road to Wembley boys will now have to wait to see who they play in the Semi Final, held stupidly at Wembley. Hull play Arsenal at The Emirates on the 17th.

4 Balls

Breaking News 88888 Week 28 scores
The 4th MoW of the season for Pete's Bollo*ks to Insurance who is looking in very fine fettle sat up on top of the overall table and a title victory would be his first for 11 years. 55 points was all it took for Pete, one more than Glasgow Kiss and World (and Carling Cup) Champions. Mark is now in 25th but 231 points behind the leader, Kirsty is only 59.

Next best score in week 28 was a drop to 47 by Loads of Roubles, John is in 8th. Then came Panzo's Projectiles, Bingo FC, Preston Pie Munchers, Bent it like Bentley and Dangleberry Rovers.

The week's worst score was by Lee's Sweaty Palms, who have been slowly going backwards after a good start. 8 points was his lowest of the season.

Road to Wembley - Chelski

So Chelski are our Road to Wembley boys. After starting with the mighty Oxhey Jets 11 (eleven) rounds ago we are now down to the Quarter Finals with the Blues away at the Sky Blues of Coventry on Saturday.

So for all of those millions of new Chelsea fans, here are 21 things you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask about your team:

1) Chelsea were formed in a pub on the Fulham Road in 1905.
2) 50 years later they won their first major trophy - The Div 1 title.
3) Chelsea withdrew from the European Cup the next season on advice from the FA.
4) Ken Bates bought the club in 1982 for £1, as they feared losing their home.
5) Chelski have only ever played at Stamford Bridge.
6) Stamford Bridge before 1905 was a market
7) Stamford Bridge was designed by famous football stadium architect Archibald Leitch.
8) Leitch designed over 20 stadiums including Anfield, Celtic Park, The Den, Goodison Park, Ewood Park, Ibrox, Highbury, Old Trafford, Selhurst Park, Villa Park and White Hart Lane.
9) Stamford Bridge originally held 100,000.
10) The Shed was built in the 1930's.
11) Chelsea's first badge was that of a Chelsea Pensioner.
12) It is now a hammer and sickle as introduced by the communist mafia.
13) Chelski's original colours were light blue shirts and white shorts with blue socks. Royal blue was adopted in 1912. Ex-manager Tommy Docherty changed the shorts to blue in 1964.
14) Chelsea have never replaced Leeds as a rival, with whom they battled on the pitch and on the terraces throughout the 60's and 70's.
15) Own up. Who was a member of the infamous Chelsea Headhunters?
16) Ron Harris holds the record for most appearances. Chopper played 795 games between 1961 and 1980. That is unlikely to be broken for some while.
17) Bobby Tambling is Chelsea's all-time top goalscorer, with 202 goals in 370 games (1959–70).
18) Chelsea's highest home official attendance is 82,905 for a First Division match against Arsenal on 12 October 1935. It is thought this was beaten unofficially during the war years.
19) Most capped England player is Fat Frankie Lampard, 64 while at Chelsea (66 in total).
20) The song "Blue Is the Colour" was released as a single in the build-up to the 1972 League Cup Final.
21) The vegetable celery was banned at Stamford Bridge as throwing it onto the pitch got out of hand in the 1980's. Altogether now....
Celery! Celery!
If she don’t come
I’ll tickle her up the bum
with a stick of celery.

Eh, eh, eh, eh....

Week 28 - Group love

2 weeks to go until qualification.

Group 1 - The Lamb
Gooner Win League looks safe I would say. Loads of Roubles probably as well. Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon will be in the mix, Goonersmoan is struggling.

Group 2 - East India
Bent it like Bentley, Student Ninjas and Torres Rosso are all in with a shout but will each want to make the top 2 to make sure of qualification. The 7 best runners up is a lottery as Harry Redknapp would say.

Group 3 - New Moon
Soozie is top but Nobby is close. Gunners Bandits and Hannoi Utd need to have a spurt in the last fortnight.

Group 4 - The Ship
Bollocks to Insurance are certain qualifiers. Towels on the Bench are sure bets too. So best runners up from this group? Preston Pie Muncher, World Champions and Arsene Knows each experienced and each with a chance in this the most experienced group.

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow Kiss through, Elland (Glad) Back and The Pohutukawas are in with a shout but virgin Sheron's hopes are slipping.

Group 6 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond look assured. As do In Tatters. Panzo is at this stage an outsider. More so Beaver Ruin.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Boys on Tour are a shoe-in. But Guinness & eggs, Hot Pink Center and Brighton Blues can all still make the top 21.

As a reminder....The 7 N&R Groups will finish at week 30, on and around the March 10th, leaving 11 weeks for teams to battle it out in the N&R Finals and the glorious title of N&R 2008/09 Champion or for teams to compete for the Losers Plate.

The winner and runner up from each group will qualify automatically for the N&R Finals plus the 7 best runners up based on total score at week 30.

The remaining 34 lightweights will go into their own league competition where there still will be some small prizes to play for.

All rules and regulations are decided by Nobby & Ready and are final.

Week 28 reminder

Arsenal dropped two more points at home to Sunderland, whilst Gus Hiddink watched Chelsea beat Villa away in the weekend's big game. Gary Megson helped earn a new contract as Bolton moved away from the bottom beating West Ham 2-1. Taylor, Davies and Scott Parker the goalscorers.

Stoke and Pompey drew 2-2 in the relegation battle at The Brittania. Boro and Wigan was goalless and Rooney and Ronaldo scored at the OT as United continued their unhindered run to the title, although Rocque Santa Cruz did score against Van Der Saar, the first goal Utd have conceded since 8 November, 2008 when Sir Alex Ferguson's side were beaten by Arsenal. Earlier in that week Man U beat Fulham 3-0, which also counted towards week 28.

On Sunday Liverpool dropped points at home to Citeh. Kuyt getting a late response to Bellamy on his return to Anfield. Newcastle and Everton drew 0-0 and Fulham beat the poor Baggies 2-0. Zamora and Johnson both getting one apiece.

On Monday Spudz got a big win at Hull. Woodgate notching a late winner.

Ready's Benfleet Bet Update - 5th Round

The scores on the doors after 3 rounds of the FA Cup Prediction Competition see Francey and his home help Ben leading the pack with 84 points. Danny Rose is in 2nd with 77, Mono 3rd and Ready 4th. Here is the table with the 2nd figure being the 5th Round score - John McGowan came out top in the 5th Round.

Benfleet Bet Table
1) Ian France 74 + 10 = 84
2) Danny Rose 72 + 5 = 77
3) Ian Monahan 64 + 10 = 74
4) Keith Read 58 + 13 = 71
5) Brian Rutter 57 + 10 = 67
6) Dave Wisdom 61 + 5 = 66
7) Ben Graves 51 + 13 = 64
7) Soozie Syrett 49 + 15 = 64
8) John McGowan 47 + 16 = 63
9) Chris Waterman 62 + 0 = 62 *
10) Barry Plummer 57 + 4 = 61
11) Paul Long 60 + 0 = 60 *
11) Simon Ward 50 + 10 = 60
11) Huw Thomas 53 + 7 = 60
14) Martin Singleton 55 + 4 = 59
14) Ryan Saveall 49 + 10 = 59
16) Peter Godfrey 58 + 0 = 58 *
17) Paul Kelleher 55 + 2 = 57
18) Barry Paull 51 + 4 =55
19) Ian Kennett 48 + 7 = 55
20) Rob Munden 45 + 7 = 52
21) Steve Black 44 + 7 = 51
22) Greg Foulger 45 + 4 = 49
23) Simon Newport 39 + 7 = 46
24) Neil Reynolds 43 + 0 = 43 *
25) Aaaron Barden 33 + 7 = 40
26) Nigel Tatlock 38 + 0 = 38 **
27) Alan Oakley 28 + 8 = 36

* no predictions submitted for this round
** no predictions submitted for last two rounds

Photograph of the week

The first silverware goes to Old Trafford. Will the 2nd, 3rd and 4th pieces also end up their? After 120 minutes, the Carling Cup Final ended 0-0, but United polished Spurs off 4-1 on penalties.

Rant over

Sad to see Darlington go into administration this week, sad to see any club go into administration to be honest. The Quakers were having a good season as well but their hopes of ending 17-long years in the 4th tier took a nosedive with the implementation of a 10 point deduction. The local council are getting blamed for not acting quick enough to the board's spirited plans for a hotel and leisure complex next to the stadium.

To fans though, it was the much heralded move from their beloved Feethams (right) to what is now called the Darlington Arena that began their downfall. Talk about over-ambitious. Darlo only ever averaged a little less than 4,000 so what possessed George Reynolds to build a 25,000 all-seater stadium on the edge of town no one knows except the ex-con.

In fact poor access to the soulless £20 million stadium actually means that 15,000 of those seats can't be used anyway, and forget the hotel but sadly local fans have not been flooding to this historic town spawned by the Quaker movement just pointedly 10 miles west of Middlesbrough. This season's average crowd is just 2,900.

Fans blame Reynolds for most of this. Although when he was parading Faustino Asprilla as a new signing and suggesting Paul Gasgoigne was next (neither actually signed) I'm assuming his stock was high, however Reynolds who named the new stadium after himself (I always have an issue with that, it's certainly a dose of megalomania) then ran the club into administration just 6 months after moving into their new stadium in December 2003.

Various tycoons have taken over at the club since, with George Houghton being the latest and the 'former property tycoon' claims they are losing £54,000 a week and are £4 million in the hole with the bank. Houghton, who owns the stadium points to the lack of planning agreement to develop land around the stadium as to the clubs failure, meantime Darlo fans will point to the day Reynolds ripped the soul out of their dear old club when they moved out of the Feethams, which then sat empty until demolished in 2006.