Monday, November 24, 2008

Team Challenge - Runners and Riders

14 weeks have passed and time we reckon for the new Team Challenge competition to be rolled out.

10 sides this season as follows: Aon Re, AIG, Layton Blackham, Willis, Lloyds, Ace, RSA, Allianz, Aon US and Aspen.

It is RSA who lead the way with a member in Mexico City and the City, an interesting combo. 2nd spot are Willis, who contain a couple of fac r/i beauties and a small bloke from the M&A group. 3rd are fantasy stalwarts AIG (sponsored by the Fed) and containing 7 members, which is one more than in 4th place Aon Re. They include the league leader Neil Reynolds and possibly the grumpiest man in insurance, Brian Rutter (just kidding mate).

5th after 14 weeks are our Chicago Allianz boys Michael and Steve. In 6th is Ready's Layton Blackham, now missing sadly Huw. Next in 7th is Ace with Pamela and the duo Tom & Wayne.

Down in 8th is the motlry crew of the fantasy subscription market that is Lloyds. Tatlock will soon join Cryer, Rose, Panzetta and wait for it Nathan (phwarr, phwarr, phwarr....). 9th and not least is Aspen with James in the states and Wizz and Plumms in London and least and last is Aon's effort from the USA. Tim and his buddy Frank plus John in Philly.

No BMS, last years champions as both Danny and Wenners have left.

The table will appear with the email showing week 14's scores.

N&R Team Challenge Hall of Fame

Just in case you were wondering.... Previous winners:

Team Challenge Winners
2007/08 BMS - Wenman, Reddy
2006/07 Layton Blackham - Read, Saveall, Thomas
2005/06 AIG - Waterman, France, Dewberry, Barwick, Higgs, Ryan.
2004/05 Marsh - Simmons, Doyle
2003/04 Marsh - Simmons, Doyle
2002/03 Allianz - Jenkins, Day
2001/02 Avon - Godfrey, Rose
2000/01 HSBC - Waters, Murrell, Ready

Mexico wave

Breaking News 88888 Week 14 scores
The man from Mek-e-ko has done it again, and that is 3 top weekly scores out of the last 7. Boys on tour already lead the season's best weekly total and now they stride dep into the top 3 best overall score and lead by 35 points The Kerryman group.

There is a perhaps a new young star within the N&R fantasy world and his name is Ben Guarino. Ben took over the reigns from Ian France at Keep the faith with Francey moving upstairs and the turnaround has been unbelievable. In real terms Ben has moved the team up 32 places in the overall league table, but in the East India group they now sit 3rd.

Another team on the up is Loads of Roubles, John hit 54 in week 14, two more than the in form Bollocks to insurance. Who are you calling Big Nose is another team on a roll, 51 for Ian. Guinness and eggs and Panzos projectiles both notched a half century.

Glasgow kiss remained in the top 2 overall with 49, a point more than In Tatters, 6th overall and Student Ninjas, 4th. The lusty Sheron's ready to fac are setting this place alight. Sarah scored 46 and Towels on the bench hit 44 with Gooner win league next with 43.

Other shouts go out to Philly Feet 2k8, Torres Rosso, Dynamo Kebab and Shinawatras Dream.

The worst week 14 score belonged to somewhat suprisingly Goonersmoan and 2Infinity & beyond with 11 each.

For those interested - a view on Alan Pardew

Not written by me, but an excellent view on Alan Pardew's reign as Charlton manager, ending after 23 months on Saturday night.

“I will be doing everything in my power to inspire what we’ve got here. I’ve always been able to operate well without big money. I am very focused, my philosophy is very complicated with what I do and I need people who are good enough to be able to go along with that. It’s going to be about fighting, digging in, and winning games.” - Alan Pardew, Dec 2006.

Richard Murray and his board of directors took a huge sigh of relief. A disastrous period of uncertainty had seen the reliable, well-drilled Charlton ship start to veer off course. Alan Pardew would emerge as the right appointment at the right time to lead that ship back into smoother waters. The much-heralded returning hero, the man Fergie was tipping to go on to great things, and seen by the Addickted and the wider football world as a managerial coup for little old Charlton.

If relegation from the Premiership was eventually to befall upon us, there was strong belief that we had the right man to stabilise our club and help us rebuild it correctly. Even come back stronger. None of those directors, or the 20,000 plus who continue to painfully file through The Valley turnstiles could have foreseen the mess that was to follow.

Relegation came and went. While Tottenham hammered the final nail into our Premiership coffin, there was no anger at The Valley. The supporters stood defiant as one, and proudly sang at noise levels that have not been repeated since. Pardew would rebuild. Of course it was accepted that high earners and better players would leave, but there was equal belief that so would under-performers and inconsistency that had let the club down. Pardew, with his solid track record, would lead us back as a leaner, hungrier side, playing organised, offensive high-tempo football.

Funds were provided, decent funds for a relegated side. Big money was spent on players such as Luke Varney, Zheng Zhi, Izale McLeod and Paddy McCarthy. Exciting young foreign imports such as Racon, Semedo and Moutuouakil we brought it to complete our high-tempo, quality approach. Punts were taken on the likes of Dickson and Sinclair, non-league rough diamonds simply in need of a good polish and a rub of Pardew magic. He was going to become the Championship Wenger, carving out an admired team that would blitz the division with the quality offensive approach Reading did in recent years.

Our huge squad and top-two budget guided us to second in the table by November, but performances were unconvincing. Promise had been shown, but the side had failed to gel, prompting frequent changes to the starting eleven. We accepted it was a new side, it would take time to reach its peak as individuals and team shape became fully acquainted. We would be a side that will grow stronger and dominant in the second half of the season as we become more organised.

In reality, the opposite occurred. Poor performances led to panic. Panic led to more team changes and questionable further arrivals, permanently or on short-term loans. The more changes made, the more erratic performances become. With our top-two budget, we wimpered into a pitiful eleventh place as the second half of the season fell apart. We ended the season not having a clue who our best formation, tactics or individuals were.

Pardew’s ego was hugely dented we were told. The mistakes would make him a stronger, better manager. Yet everywhere we turned the same mistakes were repeated. Players were chopped and changed, more non-league gambles were brought in to no effect, and questionable loan signings continued to arrive in their droves.

We fell into the bottom three of the Championship, embarrassed by a Barnsley side lacking quality but huge in endeavour and determination. The decision should have arrived then but a stay of execution was granted, though the lack of public support from the top club showed the obvious split at board level; his job was being maintained on a thin thread.

After soul-searching, changing training, tactics, and once again individuals, the slide could not be arrested and we went on to concede ten goals in the next three games. The end of Pardew’s reign shows a desperate side who won just nine of their last forty one games, five of their last twenty eight. A side that did not win two games in a row for 50 weeks and counting.

So where did Pardew go wrong ?

Lets state now that it is never easy for any manager that has to sell his best players. But Pardew was given more than adequate time and funds to get things right. Thirty five players arrived at The Valley in his time, some have left already while few have shined. More worryingly, virtually none have improved in their time here.

The over-riding feeling for me is that at no stage did he get to grips with what the Championship is about. Success in this league is based on organisation, commitment and endeavour; resolute in defence, denying space and taking chances when they occur. Pardew appeared to have too much belief in his own ability, that he could carve out a young Premiership style side who would go straight to level three before they have learnt and mastered levels one and two. When this failed, he appeared bereft of ideas to correct the situation, and failed to learn from things that went wrong. Virtually all the gambles and changes he made spectacularly failed to come off.

Pardew did not become a bad manager overnight, and is likely to go on and be a success elsewhere. But there is no hiding the fact he got things stunningly wrong here, and a change was vital for all parties. As someone calling for his dismissal for the past few weeks, the end comes with no sense of relief or satisfaction. Just pure sadness at how far we have fallen so quickly, and how disorganised as a club we currently appear.

Where now for Charlton is a debate for tomorrow. For now, the sad legacy of Pardew’s reign and our decline is that his dismissal won’t even make the back page of the Sunday papers.

Week 14 reminder

Arsenal lost at home to Villa, only their 4th loss since being at the Emirates I believe. Agbonlahor capping a fine display with the 2nd. Liverpool won 2-0 at The Reebok. Kuyt again and Gerrard getting the goals. Foolham pissed on Redknapp's parade at the Cottage winning 2-1. Davies and Johnson with a late reply from on loan Frazier Campbell.

Chelski hammered the Baggies. 3-0 at The Hawthorns. Bosingwa znd two more from Nicolas Anelka. Zola and Adams, two players who didn't have a lot in commons shared the spoils as managers of West Ham and Pompey at The Bolwyn. Newcastle and Wigan played out an entertaining 2-2 at St James. Titus bloody Bramble getting a late equaliser after Martins had looked to have won the game 3 minutes before for the Latics.

Sunderland beat Rovers at Ewood as Ince continues to struggle. Man U thrashed Stoke 5-0, Ronaldo (2), Carrick, Berbatov and a cracker from young Welbeck all scoring.

On the Sunday Everton and Boro shared the spoils 1-1 as did Hull and Man City in a fine game.

Sheep, sheep

Group Stage - 1. The Lamb
Gooner win league still control this group of old fac'ers. Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon is 2nd tied with Roubles with Goonersmoan just behind. This will be a tough and well fought group.

Watch Lamb to the slaughter in 5th and Real Ale Madrid in 6th. By the way in an award for biggest disappointment at week 14, it would be won by Ben 's Dangleberry Rovers, if there was such an award!

Ruby's on Baz?

Group Stage - 2. East India
Student Ninjas
have carried their good form into the group stages. 39 ahead of Torres Rosso in the 'AIG' group. Keep the faith look very likely to challenge those top two under the new guidance of Ben Guarino. Bent it like Bentley are in the mix but then it drops away to Californication and Pure Irish.

Barry Paull to buy the end of season curries? Paris Eagles though have been busy recently in the transfer market so watch this space.

Tight and all out top

Group Stage - 3. New Moon
Still tight in this merry band and Soozie is way out top with Pot Noodle 2nd. Gunners Bandits move up to 3rd ahead of Hannoi Utd. But just 64 points lie between Soozie and Lee's Sweaty Palms in 7th. Richard's Gerradinho have some work to do mind.

Go Godders Go

Group Stage - 4. The Ship
Bollocks to insurance had a great week and lead the group by 41 points ahead of Preston Pie Munchers. Towels on the beach closed the gap to 3 on Martin and Leigh's Shinawatras Dream aren't far behind. Who are you calling big nose are on the up and just like the Gunners, Arsene Knows are on the way down.

In 7th and 8th Cyril Smith and Champions change places.

Glasgow streets ahead

Group Stage - 5. Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow kiss is a worthy leader of Group 5. Another excellent score in week 14 keeps her well out in front of the chasing pack. Sheron's ready to fac is her nearest rival with Dynamo Kebab and St Mirnoff in chase.

Ginger Rapids dropped 3 places and Elland (Glad) back in weeks they would like to forget. Bingo FC remains in last.

Gardening paying off

Group Stage - 6. The Elephant
All change in this very tight group. On the face of it, it has all the ingredients for an exciting contest. In Tatters, who is currently tending his garden before moving into Lloyds took top spot from Beaver Ruin. 2Infinity & beyond drops to 3rd. Panzo moves into 4th whilst Mono slips to 5th.

Team Chong, whose manager Danny Matthews is tendering what appears to be Kew Gardens, is up a place to 6th with Team GB at 7th with poor old Curbishley is s**t last.

Boys open lead

Group Stage - 7. The Kerryman
Boys on tour stretched their lead at the top by 10 further points ahead of Guinness & eggs. Nancy Lollygaggers moved into 3rd just ahead of Brighton Blues. Philly 2k8 closed the gap at the bottom.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Road to Wembley - Going back to our Roots

Sarfend United needed two late goals to see off the challenge of our Road to Wembley boys non-league Telford in their FA Cup first-round replay.

Simon Francis marked his 100th appearance for the Shrimpers by prodding home a corner from close range after 74 minutes and then ex-Addick James Walker made sure of victory with a curling shot from 25 yards.

Unfortunately for Telford they missed a hatful of chances prior to the Sarfend goals. Great chances were fluffed by Andy Brown and Jon Adams and home keeper Steve Mildenhall make two magnificent saves.

AFC Telford: Young, Vaughan, Cowan, Whitehead, Meredith, Naylor (Jagielka 45), Adams, Rodgers, Blakeman (Fearns 77), Moore, Brown.
Subs Not Used: Taylor, Khela, Bermiglio.
Attendance: 4,415

So Sarfend United become our new team to follow on the Road to Wembley and take on Luton at Roots Hall on November 29th.

Photograph of the week

Jeez. What an ugly race they are, eh? Thank god for the Falklands is all I can say, otherwise we might have all ended up looking like that!

Welcome to the Group Stages

A new format for us this year. After 12 weeks Nobby & Ready have stuck you all into groups, seven of them as follows:

Group 1 - The Lamb
Group 2 - East India
Group 3 - New Moon
Group 4 - The Slip
Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Group 6 - The Elephant
Group 7 - The Kerryman

We have tried to bring together old and current work rivalries or families or sexual tensions, hopefully it should be fun and keep the interest peaked, which we know is difficult when we have 55 teams.

The Group Stages will be commented on each week on the blog as well as the highest scores, so the Manager of the Week will still be the manager with the highest score (coloured in bright pink).

It will work like world cup qualifying with the best teams qualifying for the finals later in the season and the also rans playing for some pride. The best prize monies will of course be reserved for the finals and the ultimate top teams but there will be prizes for the groups as well. All to be announced in due course.

The top 7 overall sides will be colour-coded as usual as will the 54th team (penultimate prize) but try to forget about the big league for the next few months and concentrate on qualifying from your group - good luck all.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Learning curve

Group Stages - 1. The Lamb
The Aon fac boys. What a dasterly collection eh? Big Bri and the boys. Led of course at the top of the table with the N&R FL's best score Neil Reynolds, the new boy who clearly doesn't know the rules and obviously spends too much time on his fantasy football and not in The Lamb, er sorry the market.

Gooner win league are a whole 67 points clear of 2nd placed current champ Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon. Goonersmoan are next, followed by Loads of Roubles in 4th and a point further back Lamb to the slaughter. It's tight though Real Ale Madrid are in 6th, Lovejoy in 7th and last but not least Dangleberry Rovers.

The Government bailout group

Group Stages - 2. East India
This group is sponsored by the American taxpayer and contains 7 employees from AIG and one escapee. I love these boys and girls and they have been fine supporters of the N&R FL since inception. However at no point has anyone of them ever won the N&R title, but that could change this year with strong challenges from Chris Wright and Aaron Barden.

Student Ninjas lead the table with Torres Rosso next. Bent it like Bentley are 3rd just ahead of the revitalised Keep the faith, which has absolutely nothing to do with Ian France.

Chris Waterman who just began his 4th new job in 5 years at AIG, each time collecting another week's holiday as part of his package is next in line with Californication. The best looking out of the bunch, Hilary and Pure Irish is just behind but well placed. Then is the odd man out. Alex Boswell who found the escape route and is now at Lockton. His Megan & Hannah bears are in 7th and surprisingly Paris Eagles are bottom with the entire league 2nd worst score.

Fireworks

Group Stages - 3. New Moon
The group of death. The most tightly packed group in terms of points out of the seven. Add some family, love interests and long time friendships into the mix and this group could give off some serious fireworks.

Top of it at week 13 is Soozie's Succulent Sausages. Pot Noodle is 2nd and Huw is having a fine season but doubts exist as to whether he can keep it up after he gets to Oz. Nobby's Bermuda shorts are 3rd 6 points ahead of partner Ready and his Hannoi Utd.

In 5th is Soozie's brother Jason and Gunners Bandits. 6th is the New Mr Soozie to be Ryan. The ex-champ's Sizzling Saveloys bangers are still way in the top half of the entire league. Next are Sweaty Palms who are having a good season, by Lee's standards anyways and last in the group is Razor Nathan and his boys Gerradinho.

Big Brother

Group Stages - 4. The Ship
Our very own Big Brother house. For you new to N&R FL a few years ago we voted on who would be the best candidates from the market to go into an insurance Big Brother house. And from memory Singleton, Godfrey, Cryer and Oakley were certainly included.

This is a tough group packed with fantasy experience. Kennett, Godders, Oakley and Cryer I think have all been with us 10 years plus and Simmons almost invented the game.

Top of the group by just 12 points is Bollocks to insurance, with Preston Pie Munchers in 2nd. Towels on the beach have had another good start but can Al keep it up. Leigh's Shinawatras Dream are the unknown quantity but he's right in the mix ahead of Arsene Knows and Who are you calling big nose.

At the bottom Champions are having a dreadful season and we wonder how long Mark will continue with an all Man U line-up. Last but certainly notleast is Rochdale's second finest, Cyril Smith.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Glasgow by miles

Group Stages - 5. Cheshire Cheese
The Cheshire Cheese's consists of a ramshackle bunch of boys and girls. The experience comes from Munden, the youth from Messrs Harrington and Hillier, the good looks from Sarah, Pam and Kirsty, the charm from Shay, the laughter from Wardy and the gingerness from Doyley.

However Kirsty's Glasgow kiss appear to have this group already wrapped up. 85 pts ahead of her nearest rival Ginger Rapids. The others need to get a move on, although St Mirnoff and Sherons' ready to fac have shown some form lately.

HotLanta

Group Stages - 6. The Elephant
A real pub for real men. A collection here of reinsurance dudes and underwriters. Some even know what they're doing it says here. Beaver Ruin's James Down is leading the way from his hideout in HotLanta, Georgia. But it is close. This should be a tough group. 2Infinity & beyond are a point behind James and next up is In Tatters (11th overall). Nige has a new job and I wonder if this will affect his form but he is currently 3rd in Group 6. Mono is on a roll and Panzo is improving too. Danny Chong has gone walkabouts and Wizzo's Curbishley in s**t bring up the rear.

Mexican stand-off

Group Stage - 7. The Kerryman
The Mexican and the Chicagoans in this only group of 7. How things have improved for this lot of hockey, baseball and gridiron fans. There was a time when one of my old mates from the windy city used to occupy the bottom slot all season, but now there is only one American native in the bottom 10 - John Littig's Philly 2k8.

As expected Foulger's Boys on tour lead the way (4th overall) and there is a 25-point gap to Guinness & eggs who are having a good season. Brighton Blues are certainly showing more consistancy and Nancy Lollygaggers are holding their own in 5th, 10 pts ahead of Hot Pink Center. The No hopers are 7th, way ahead of Philly.

Comeback Pete

Breaking News 88888 Week 13 scores
Well blow me down with a big feathery feather. MoW in week 13 was Peter Godfrey. Now, those old enough will remember that Pete used to be half decent at fantasy football, this before he found a real job and alzheimers found Pete. But maybe this is some kind of Joe Kinnear comeback in the making as Bollo*ks to Insurance mustered 51 points and collects a fiver for their troubles.

Another blast from the past is Ian Kennett, although as he will tell you, he did start working in insurance when he was 12, and to be honest he hasn't grown much since then. But Ian's Who are you calling Big Nose were another 'big' performer in week 13 scoring 49. Two top sides Gooner win League and Beaver Ruin both knocked in a 47, a point more than Student Ninjas and three more than Oz-bound Pot Noodle.

Kiss, Bangers, Lovelies, Rapid and Kebab all sounds together like a bloody good night out but in fact these were the teams next in the scoring stakes in week 13.

Other favourable mentions to Brighton Blues, Gunners Bandits, Mono's Cunning plan, Guinness & eggs, Pie Munchers and Lollygaggers.

Worst of the lot was.... Champions (again).

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Transfers and bribes

Just a reminder, the deadline for transfers is Tuesday at 5pm each week. If you need an updated list, just email me. I'll add one to the email this week.

Also to reiterate, Ready and I are open to bribes. Cash, sexual favours or beer are all acceptable tender. But Pk, we have to exclude you from the sexual favours because we know where you have been.

The reason I mention this is that we have been subject to some (il)legal approaches recently. Offers of Mexican dancing girls and claiming to have more money than 50 million because you've applied for a government bailout have all been considered but subsequently declined, but don't give up.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Group stages

Next week the N&R FL moves into the fantasy group stages. There will be 7 groups names The Lamb, East India, New Moon, The Ship, Cheshire Cheese, The Elephant and The Kerryman. Which one will you be in? Well, you're have to wait and find out.

It will work like a world cup qualifier with the top teams going into to final nearer the end of the season. We will throw in some group prizes too.

And look out for more on the N&R FA Cup competition soon.

Movers and shakers

The very best of luck to Huw Thomas and his wife who are moving to Australia. Huw and his missus Ozzy are going to live in Adelaide, closer to her family. Apparently there is no truth in the rumours that he was becoming a bit too well known to the police in Swansea for sheep worrying.

Although privately we do know that Huw has been looking on line at the sheep dating website to get a good idea of what to expect when he finally get's down under, if you parden the pun. There is actually a website here for sheep dating - not work friendly. Baaaaa

Meanwhile Mark Wenman and Danny Matthews have both left BMS. Wenners is off to Price Forbes to work with Harry Potter. And Danny Matthews was struggling with the fact that he'd been at the same place almost long enough to work on a renewal and has also resigned. Relocation to be agreed.

Smooch

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
A lot of movement in the upper echelons of the table. Neil's Gooner win league opened up a 27 point lead, Glasgow kiss smooch into 2nd place and 2Infinity & beyond drop to 3rd. In 4th are Boys on tour, who zoomed in from 11th. It's Greg's first appearance in the top 10 this season. Student Ninjas drop to 5th, and in 6th are both of Soozies Succulent Sizzlers.

Beaver Ruin and Torres Rosso share 7th, 9th is Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and up to 10th from 21st, is Guinness and eggs. Steve was in 54th place just 10 weeks ago - shows what can be done.

Outside of the this group are In Tatters, Loads of Roubles, Nobby's Bermuda Shorts and Lamb to the slaughter, each gained good ground.

Lower down the order Bollo*ks to insurance moved up 13 spots and Mono's Cunning Plan hurdled 15 places to 29th. Well done lads.

At the bottom Curbishley is s**t drop to last, this is probably not helped by the fact I left Dave off the email list - sorry Wizzo. Pure Irish remain in the penultimate spot. Very surprisingly Barry Paull's Paris Eagles drop 7 places to 53rd - not sure whether Barry's ever been this low in the table. Philly Feet 2k8 slip 4 places and Mark's Champions climb to 48 and Ben's fantasy career has started well at Keep the faith. They move from 47th to 38th.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Week 12 reminder

Chelsea thrashed Sunderland 5-0, according to Keano all five goals scored by Alex, Lampard and 3 from Anelka were offside. Louis Saha rescued Everton at home as they beat Foolham. Hull City gave Man U a right good go at the OT, Ronaldo scored twice and Geovanni got a late pen for 'Ull.

Boro and Happy Hammers drew 1-1 at the Riverside. Mido and Mullins scored. Wigan beat Tony Adams Pompey 2-1 on the south coast, Big Emile scoring an injury time winner. The Baggies and Rovers drew 2-2. A late goal from Keith Andrews giving Incy a point. Bolton beat Citeh with a match winning performance from Ricardo Gardner.

The two big upsets came as Harry's Spudz won again, beating Liverpool 2-1 and Stoke thrashing Arsenal 2-1. Delap getting his 453rd assist of the season. Wenger out!

Week 13 reminder

Arsenal surprised a few people by beating Man U 2-1, Nasri getting both. Keane got two at home to Bolton for his first Scouse league goals. Hull started their march to the relegation battle by losing at home to Bolton 1-0. Tatlor getting the goal. Defoe got a late goal to claim the points for Pompey at Sunderland.

Everton beat West Ham convincingly 3-1 at Upton Park. Well convincingly only after 83 minutes, Louis Saha scored a brace. Wigan drew with Stoke 0-0 and on Sunday Chelsea beat Rovers 2-0 at Ewood. Anelka getting both, Foolham beat Newcastle at home 2-1, Murphy's penalty the difference. Boro had a great win at Villa Park and 'Arry continued his run at the City of Manchester stadium as Benty got two in a 2-1 win.

Bumper week topped by Foulger

Breaking News 88888 Week 12 scores
A bumper week 12 with season top scores all over the shop. Our man from Mexico Greg and his Boys on tour swept to 92 points and 4th in the table with his 2nd MoW in 5 weeks. Mono's Cunning Plan A had a miraculous week with a storming 83. Where the fcuk that came from only Mono will know. Table topper's Gooner win league opened a gap at the summit and Guinness & Eggs lived up the billing I gave him last week.

Loads of Roubles had a big jump up the table and Ben at Keep the faith contiued where he left off last week. Godder's Bollo*ks to Insurance finally came up trumps and Glasgow kiss and Towels on the bench both collected 75. Panzos Projectiles hit probably a record weekly score of 70 (I'd have to check), Preston Pie Munchers got busy with a 69 and In Tatters banged in 66.

Nancy Lollygaggers collected easily a season best 65, and Pure Irish had another good week scoting 64. Dangleberry Rovers at last got some action and notched 62, while Lamb to the slaughter and Who are you calling Big Nose both scored 60.

It was 59 for Nobby's Bermuda shorts and 58 for Megan and Hannah's bears, 2Infinity & beyond and Student Ninjas.

The week's worst score, if it can be called that was 18 by Cyril Smith First 11.

Road to Wembley - Bucking close

Drama, controversy, passion and pain – this FA Cup classic had it all and so much more. The drama – as fortunes swayed one way then the other in the blink of an astonished eye. Controversy – as Southend scored a suspect opener then were denied what looked a legitimate second before missing a penalty.

Passion – as AFC Telford turned the game on its head, Jon Adams bagging two terrific goals in an electric 30-minute spell. And pain – as the visitors saved their skins in injury-time with a deflected equaliser that means we must do it all again at Roots Hall next week.

Roared on by almost 4,000 at the New Bucks Head stadium Southend United took the lead when after a dodgy decision Jean-Francois Christophe took a quick free-kick and Laurent, suddenly through on goal, made no mistake. Having got their noses in front, the Essex men might well have wrapped it up in the opening 10 minutes of the second half.

But they didn't. Telford got back into the game and their pressure finally told on 70 minutes as Vaughan’s cross was only half-cleared and ADAMS struck a fine 25-yard left-footed effort into the bottom corner.

Telford, with their tails up, kept pressing and Andy Brown’s header hit the bar with Meredith volleying the loose ball over. It was ADAMS’ day, though, and he sent the New Bucks Head wild with his second seven minutes from time after good work by substitute Terry Fearns.

The Bucks looked like they could hold on even as the board went up for four minutes of stoppage time, but Southend had other ideas.

Christophe, on loan from Portsmouth, got them off the hook with a 20-yard shot that cruelly deflected off Jamie Vermiglio to beat Young. The moral victory, though, belonged to Telford – and the prize of a second round meeting with Luton or Altrincham remains very much up for grabs.

Telford team: Ryan Young, Lee Vaughan, James Meredith, Gavin Cowan, Stuart Whitehead (c), Martyn Naylor (Terry Fearns 56), Jon Adams, Jamie Vermiglio, Liam Blakeman (Carl Rodgers 80), Andy Brown, Lee Moore (Steve Jagielka 90).
Subs not used: Indy Khela, Steve Taylor, Steve Jagielka
Attendance: 3,631

Photograph of the week

Didier Drogba throwing back a 50p piece to the crowd after Chelsea drew with Burnley in the Carling Cup. Losing on penalties does not count as a defeat if you are a Chelsea fan by all accounts.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Straw Poll #2

Following on from Lewis Hamilton's extraordinary victory in the F1 championship and the exciting finish in Brazil that had the country on the edge of it's seat, I asked:

Lewis Hamilton....

a) British hero
b) All he's worried about is the cash
c) He's misunderstood
d) Knob

And the result was:

a) 32%
b) 14%
c) 17%
d) 17%
e) 20% other

Overwhelmingly the view was that he is a national hero. Quotes such as this one:

"Why oh why oh why do we as British people love people who lose but hate anyone who wins? so what if he's a bit arrogant - I'd be fuc king arrogant if I got paid a fortune,drove a formula 1 car brilliantly for a living, was sha gging a pussycat doll and had hair!!!!" He's a British hero and no mistake"
- Rob Munden

However the 2nd most popular vote was one I didn't even ask for, that was e) "Lucky f*cker for sleeping with that Pussycat Doll, " as James Down put it.

Others who mentioned the lovely Miss Scherzinger were Rob of course and Peter Doyle: "C misunderstood, though more correctly a talented misunderstood knob that is banging a stunning bird."

Some plucked for d) such as Ben Graves, who said: "d) Mostly because he's is sh*gging the fit one from pussycatdolls, but also because as a nation we feel obliged to jump on the bandwagon of any successful sportsman we can (driving a car isn't even a proper sport by the way....don't even get me started on snooker or darts) so all of a sudden the country is full of F1 enthusiasts talking about the merits of refuelling strategies and safety cars, trying to fool themselves that they've always been a fan." But added: "I don't actually think he's a knob, he actually comes across as quite a level headed bloke, but thought that was the closest option."

Payment - Last Reminder

Ok, nearly Christmas, if you still owe money for this season, then please can you arrange payment in one of the following three ways:

1) Pass either cash or a cheque to Ready.

2) Put the funds into my bank account as follows:
Simon J Newport
NatWest
Sort Code56 00 18
A/C no. 08164193

3) Send a cheque to me at my parents at the following address:
8 Paddock Gardens
Wannock
Polegate
E Sussex
BN26 5PW

Thank you.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Photograph of the week


What goes up must come down. Since Harry has been at the Lane, everything he touches turns to wine. As for Adams, I'm not so sure and wine is probably the last thing he wants!

Road to Wembley - Big day for Telford

AFC Telford host League One Southend United after comprehensively beating Northwich Victoria from the divison above in the re-arranged 4th Qualifying Rd. Goals from LEE MOORE (2) ANDY ANDY in front of 1,003 people secured tomorrow's first round proper tie

Week 11 reminder

Sorry, I'm a week behind.

Sunderland beat Newcastle for the first time in 300 years. 3 goals and 40 arrests with Kieran Richardson the hero with a goal clicked at 73mph. Hull continued their Champions League assault with an easy 3-0 win over the Baggies. Zayatte, Geovanni and King scoring. Boro and Blackburn shared the spoils as did Everton and Man U. Rooney getting booked and lucky to stay on the pitch.

On the Sunday Villa thrashed Wigan at the JJB. Barry, Agbonlahor, Sidwell and Carew scoring (this time on the pitch and not in a strip club!). Spurs won under Harry, although to be fair he only had just turned up. They beat Bolton 2-0 thanks to Pavlyuchenko and Bent. Carlton Cole was sent off as the Hammers lost at home to Arsenal. Pompey and Foolham played out a 1-1 draw, Dempsey rescuing the west Londoners late.

In week 11's big game at the Bridge, Liverpool broke Chelsea's 86 home game unbeaten run - league remember, Charlton and Barcelona (often confused) both beat them in the cup! Alonso's 10th minute goal enough for the scousers. Robinho got a hattrick at Citeh beat Stoke 3-0 and on the Tuesday night Newcastle beat West Brom (a game that was included in week 11). Newcastle's first win under Roy Kinnear.

Middle to diddle

Breaking News 88888 The N&R FL League Table
2Infinity & beyond move within 8 points of 4 week leader Gooner win league, Beaver Ruin (is that really your girlfriend James) stay 3rd in close shooting distance and Student Ninjas are 4th and Soozie's succulent pair are 5th. Very tight in the top 7.

I'm going to concentrate on the midtable teams this week though. Whilst Bent it like Bentley and St Mirnoff slipped off the pace a bit, there are some very capable teams below making their way slowly up the table.

Pot Noodle Miners, Nobby's Bermuda shorts (capable is probably pushing it mind), Lamb to the slaughter and Gunners Bandit all climbed healthily up the league in week 11. N&R virgin Sheron's ready to fac gained 7 places, another debutant Shinawatras Dream jumped 5 places and Team Chong was up 4. Other teams circling around the middle to watch out for are Guinness & eggs, Loads of roubles, Arsene Knows, Ginger Rapids and previous champ Sizzling Saveloys bangers.

At the bottom Pure Irish moved out of 55th place and Curbishley is s**t goes back to whence they came.

Huw goes Potty

Breaking News 88888 Week 11 scores
Huw Thomas, who is soon on his way down under as the N&R FL extends it's global reach would have been proud to win the MoW award in his final week in the city. Huw's Pot Noddle Miners wacked 43 points and they climbed 7 places up the table. In 2nd place in week 11 was Sheron's ready to fac. This is a bit of a milestone for the Liverpudlian, who moved into the top half of the table for the first time and we hope she can put a run together to join her bubbly mate Kirsty in the top 10.

Then in 3rd Keep the faith under new direction from Ben Guarino made an immediate impact scoring 36 points and propelled Fracney's boys away from the bottom of the table. Also with 36 pts was Shinawatras Dream. We haven't seen much of Leigh but this was a fine effort, his best of the season, and moves him up a few places too.

Nobby's Bermuda shorts were next with 34, same as 2Infninty & Beyond, and a point moer than Lamb to the slaughter, Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and the lovely Hilary and her Purest Irish.

Good scoring from Glasgow Kiss keeps the Scottish belle challenging for the title as it did for Aaron's Torres Rosso. Team GB under Wenners notched a nice 31 as did Rutter's Goonersmoan and Littig's Philly Feet 2k8 (is that really your girlfriend John?).

Finally kudos to Gooner win league (30), Ginger Rapids (30) and Brighton Blues (30). The lowest week 11 scored belonged to Californication, with 11 points, although I did hear last week that Chris got his mortgage paid off, pushing the amount of the loan AIG have now borrowed from the Fed nearer to the $100bn mark. Francey is checking if he can get his caravan paid off too.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

An historic moment

"Now, I know jack, but when I was watching the baby faced state lawmaker the other night on TV, his presence and his words even made me think that I was watching the one day future President of the United States of America." Me, July 2004.

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those who would tear the world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you.
And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."
- Barack Obama, November 2008, the new President of America.

I stayed up late last night watching history being made. I sincerely hope Obama can change America and change the way it looks at the wider world beyond it's vast shores. Certainly Obama has provoked and galvanized the metamorphic American population. Meanwhile the world watched someone it can relate to. Welcome to the rest of the world America.

Chicago would have been an awesome place to be last night. I would have loved to have been in Grant Park (right) with 250,000 others listening to the new president's historic victory speech. The people of Chicago deserves Barack Obama and he deserves them.