This is it ladies and gentlemen. Week 32, over 7 months since we started this old tosh. It was decided as per our previous announcement that this season we will venture into play-off territory.
Ready, I and a number of very expensive prostitutes (Eliott was busy) met to discuss the plan for the rest of the season and we voted on moving the 27 highest scoring teams into the Winners Play-off pot. The Div 2 promoted teams would have got a place amongst the elite and the Div 1 relegated sides would have been jettisoned whatever.
The point cut-off for a place in the top tier was 1,070 and just like magic both Nobby and Ready made it. We don't make the rules you know. Oh hang on we do, don't we?
Each manager will keep their points total thus far and a cash prize (tba) will be awarded to the interim winners of Div 1 and Div 2.
From next week, all teams on 1,070 and above will contest the Play-off Championship title, and those below that figure will play for the losers plate. Plenty of money will be shared around the leagues - which we will announce shortly.
Any complaints please address to E.Spitzer at the New York unemployment office. You can mention that the blonde was very good.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Week 32 reminder
A big scoring week with a number of managers nabbing their season bests. It was also important as it decided who would reach the play-off's and who would be left contesting the losers plate.
Week 32 was the week that West Ham actually scored and got out of their own half more than 5 times. Also amazingly Curbs, completely out of character brought on a young Freddie Sears as sub who then scored the winner. The youngest player Curbs ever gave his debut at Charlton was 25.
John Terry got the winner at Sunderland before haranguing the referee into giving him two goals and not just one. Jermain Defoe scored for Pompey again in their win over on the slide Aston Villa.
Ronaldo scored his 100th goal of the season at Derby as Man Utd surprised the football world by only winning 1-0. Arsenal failed to win again at home to Boro, Aliadiere scoring on his old ground.
Fulham and Wigan both had crucial wins McBride and Heskey getting the winners at home to Everton and Bolton respectively, whilst Birmingham and the Geordies played out a draw under the Monday floodlights at St Andrews.
Week 32 was the week that West Ham actually scored and got out of their own half more than 5 times. Also amazingly Curbs, completely out of character brought on a young Freddie Sears as sub who then scored the winner. The youngest player Curbs ever gave his debut at Charlton was 25.
John Terry got the winner at Sunderland before haranguing the referee into giving him two goals and not just one. Jermain Defoe scored for Pompey again in their win over on the slide Aston Villa.
Ronaldo scored his 100th goal of the season at Derby as Man Utd surprised the football world by only winning 1-0. Arsenal failed to win again at home to Boro, Aliadiere scoring on his old ground.
Fulham and Wigan both had crucial wins McBride and Heskey getting the winners at home to Everton and Bolton respectively, whilst Birmingham and the Geordies played out a draw under the Monday floodlights at St Andrews.
Disaster for Greg as Baz grabs prize
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 32 newsWell, well after 20 weeks of Greg's Boys on Tour sitting proudly on top of Div 2 they get pipped by in the lasst seven days by 2Infinity & beyond for the winners prize. Greg - sorry mate, go out and get yourself some Miami vice, Baz - congratulations son, real Championship form.
Of course both Greg and Barry now go on and do battle for the big prize qualifying comfortably for the play-off's. They will be joined at least by the promoted sides - Barretts the Bollocks, Get him Big Dave, Student Uprising, The No-Hopers, What the Hell and PLG is a Fud.
As explained elsewhere other Div 2 teams will also join the elite with 1,070 points being the cut-off point.
Tally hangs on despite egg scramble
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 32 news
Despite a stirring week from Egg & (Stevie) Bacon reducing Tally.Wacker.co.uk's lead to 35 points - the slimmest since early January, it was Paul who will take the prize for 'winning' Div 1 as we enter the N&R end of season play-off's.
Ben is very well positioned in 2nd though and the next 5 teams all remain unchanged after week 32.
The biggest climber in week 32 was Tora Tora Torres, up two places, giving Richard still a good chance of making some prize money.
Relegation didn't change much either with Lamb to the Slaughter dropping down, despite a recent resurgence. Glenn's side will join Rooney & Ronaldo's Revenge, Space Badgers, Glasgow Kiss, Keep the faith, Dinamo Ilegalna Imigrant, Brighton Blues and Herr Oakers in the second tier.
Despite a stirring week from Egg & (Stevie) Bacon reducing Tally.Wacker.co.uk's lead to 35 points - the slimmest since early January, it was Paul who will take the prize for 'winning' Div 1 as we enter the N&R end of season play-off's.
Ben is very well positioned in 2nd though and the next 5 teams all remain unchanged after week 32.
The biggest climber in week 32 was Tora Tora Torres, up two places, giving Richard still a good chance of making some prize money.
Relegation didn't change much either with Lamb to the Slaughter dropping down, despite a recent resurgence. Glenn's side will join Rooney & Ronaldo's Revenge, Space Badgers, Glasgow Kiss, Keep the faith, Dinamo Ilegalna Imigrant, Brighton Blues and Herr Oakers in the second tier.
Egg on the boil
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 32Ben Graves capped a fine week with a season's best 89 points, easily the best of the week. Another fiver will be added to Ben's total for the season.
The next best was Richard Nathan, only moaning about the league play-off's last week but reminding himself that he is still not out of contention with a excellent 78, to a season's best.
Barry Paull did enough to escape relegation with a 73, but Glenn Francis didn't avoid the drop despite having easily his best week of the season. In Div 2 we had Barry Plummer of course driving home a 70, 12 more than the 2nd best in that divsion, Emma Wylie. A best weekly score for Emma - you go girl....
Back in Div 1 plaudits to Kirstie and Aaron, a joint 69. Hmm, let us chew on that for a minute and finally Martin Singleton took the week's worse score of just 10.
Friday, March 14, 2008
If You - Martin Singleton
Amazingly short on mentioning Martin's first love of food, pies does get one mention though, Preston nut Martin Singleton this week talks about Flashman, fat birds and what a lucky bugger than Ronaldo bloke is, but not as lucky as Penelope Cruz's brother apparently!
If You
Name: Martin Singleton
Nickname: Barney Rubble
I Support: Preston North End
Birthplace: Preston
1) If you weren’t in insurance, what would you do for a living?
If I had my time again I would be a journalist. I love writing sh!te and nonsense and suspect I would be quite good at the Sun.
2) If you could be someone else for the day, who would you be?
I’d be Phil Taylor on the day of the London Insurance darts league singles competition but I’d probably still get bladdered and throw a load of old toss.
3) If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be?
At the moment you would love to be in Newcastle board room. What a shambles the looney in charge is making up there. Allardyce is a good manager who would have done well eventually and they have replaced him with hopelessly optimistic Keegan (another looney) and that hateful little sh!t Wise. A good laugh for everyone else though.
4) If you could have those x-ray eyes that could see through clothing, who would you look at first?
Probably Penelope Cruz who is the fittest woman on’t telly at the moment. And she snogs another woman in her brothers video. Fantastic and that Spanish accent too.
5) If you could be any footballer past or present, who would it be?
Must be Christiano Ronaldo – look at money and women that guy will have over his life. It will put Beckham to shame by the time he’s 30. The lucky lucky b@stard.
6) If you could change the team you support, who would you change it to?
Celtic – nosiest ground I have ever been on and the best laugh in the pubs before and after the game but you need a translator to understand many of the songs………...especially the ones about killing all the Brits………………
7) If you worked at airport security, who would you like to search knowing that you can be as obnoxious as you like?
Ashley Cole – I hate that arrogant w@nker……………….and then his misses afterwards (ex-misses by the time this goes out.)
8) If you were the Prime Minister or President, what would be the first thing you did?
Nationalise the railways and buses and make them work properly for us and not the fat greedy useless scum that run these companies now. (U can tell I have been delayed a tad in the cold this week!)
9) If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you bought?
A stretch of the Tay or Spey for a spot of fishing, a massive f#ck off cruiser somewhere nice like Bermuda, and my own wee nature reserve somewhere like the whole of Norfolk.
10) If you could invent anything, what would it be?
The transporter off Star trek. Not for anything trivial like inter-galactic exploration obviously but wouldn’t it be brill to instantly be off to Dublin for a pub crawl and then instantly home again! Or back up North in a second for proper pies! The advantages are endless eh.
11) If you could have starred in a movie, which one would it be?
“Apocalypse Now” is my fave film so I would have to be Martin Sheen in that.
12) If you could have been at any football game, which one would it have been?
World Cup final 1966 – will we ever see England in a world cup final again?? In my lifetime?
13) If you could make one of your dreams real, which one would it be?
Being a rogue trader for Societe Generale and not getting caught and then putting all the billions cash into PNE to dominate Europe…………………………
or perhaps even avoid relegation to league 1.
14) If you could live the life of any person in history, who would it be?
Brigadier-General Sir Harry Paget Flashman VC KCB KCIE (5th May 1822 – 1915)
Although a fictional character the following sums up my thoughts nicely:
“Humor in the Flashman papers generally runs to Drinking Gambling and Whoring with a healthy mix of derogatory and disparaging remarks aimed at betters and those in authority”
Nuff said.
15) If you were born again, would you want to come back as the opposite sex?
Wouldn’t bother me, there’s plenty of fat birds out drinking pints these days so I wouldn’t feel out of place in the East India. Wouldn’t fancy being groped by the fat b@stard blokes (like me) that go in there though.
If You
Name: Martin Singleton
Nickname: Barney Rubble
I Support: Preston North End
Birthplace: Preston
1) If you weren’t in insurance, what would you do for a living?
If I had my time again I would be a journalist. I love writing sh!te and nonsense and suspect I would be quite good at the Sun.
2) If you could be someone else for the day, who would you be?
I’d be Phil Taylor on the day of the London Insurance darts league singles competition but I’d probably still get bladdered and throw a load of old toss.
3) If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be?
At the moment you would love to be in Newcastle board room. What a shambles the looney in charge is making up there. Allardyce is a good manager who would have done well eventually and they have replaced him with hopelessly optimistic Keegan (another looney) and that hateful little sh!t Wise. A good laugh for everyone else though.
4) If you could have those x-ray eyes that could see through clothing, who would you look at first?
Probably Penelope Cruz who is the fittest woman on’t telly at the moment. And she snogs another woman in her brothers video. Fantastic and that Spanish accent too.
5) If you could be any footballer past or present, who would it be?
Must be Christiano Ronaldo – look at money and women that guy will have over his life. It will put Beckham to shame by the time he’s 30. The lucky lucky b@stard.
6) If you could change the team you support, who would you change it to?
Celtic – nosiest ground I have ever been on and the best laugh in the pubs before and after the game but you need a translator to understand many of the songs………...especially the ones about killing all the Brits………………
7) If you worked at airport security, who would you like to search knowing that you can be as obnoxious as you like?
Ashley Cole – I hate that arrogant w@nker……………….and then his misses afterwards (ex-misses by the time this goes out.)
8) If you were the Prime Minister or President, what would be the first thing you did?
Nationalise the railways and buses and make them work properly for us and not the fat greedy useless scum that run these companies now. (U can tell I have been delayed a tad in the cold this week!)
9) If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you bought?
A stretch of the Tay or Spey for a spot of fishing, a massive f#ck off cruiser somewhere nice like Bermuda, and my own wee nature reserve somewhere like the whole of Norfolk.
10) If you could invent anything, what would it be?
The transporter off Star trek. Not for anything trivial like inter-galactic exploration obviously but wouldn’t it be brill to instantly be off to Dublin for a pub crawl and then instantly home again! Or back up North in a second for proper pies! The advantages are endless eh.
11) If you could have starred in a movie, which one would it be?
“Apocalypse Now” is my fave film so I would have to be Martin Sheen in that.
12) If you could have been at any football game, which one would it have been?
World Cup final 1966 – will we ever see England in a world cup final again?? In my lifetime?
13) If you could make one of your dreams real, which one would it be?
Being a rogue trader for Societe Generale and not getting caught and then putting all the billions cash into PNE to dominate Europe…………………………
or perhaps even avoid relegation to league 1.
14) If you could live the life of any person in history, who would it be?
Brigadier-General Sir Harry Paget Flashman VC KCB KCIE (5th May 1822 – 1915)
Although a fictional character the following sums up my thoughts nicely:
“Humor in the Flashman papers generally runs to Drinking Gambling and Whoring with a healthy mix of derogatory and disparaging remarks aimed at betters and those in authority”
Nuff said.
15) If you were born again, would you want to come back as the opposite sex?
Wouldn’t bother me, there’s plenty of fat birds out drinking pints these days so I wouldn’t feel out of place in the East India. Wouldn’t fancy being groped by the fat b@stard blokes (like me) that go in there though.
Road to Wembley - Boing Boing Baggies
Our Gashead boys finally succumbed on Sunday after a fine attacking dsiplay from West Brom put pay to Bristol Rovers 5-1. Ishmael Miller's hat-trick helped West Brom become our new Road to Wembley team and book their place in the FA Cup semi-finals at Wembley to Portsmouth.
JAMES MORRISON put the Baggies ahead after Steve Phillips could only parry Roman Bednar's toe-poke and then ISHMAEL MILLER made it 2-0 with a fierce finish.
DANNY COLES met Craig Disley's flick to reduce the deficit and give the Pirates a real chance at half-time. However Craig Hinton's error let MILLER in to make it 3-1.
Robert Koren set up goal machine KEVIN PHILLIPS to add a fourth and MILLER'S precise finish completed the rout.
Bristol Rovers: Phillips, Lescott, Hinton, Coles, Jacobson, Pipe (Walker 72), Campbell, Disley, Lines (Haldane 55), Lambert, Williams (Igoe 81).
Subs Not Used: Mike Green, Anthony.
Att: 12,011
More on this season's amazing FA Cup and West Brom soon.
JAMES MORRISON put the Baggies ahead after Steve Phillips could only parry Roman Bednar's toe-poke and then ISHMAEL MILLER made it 2-0 with a fierce finish.
DANNY COLES met Craig Disley's flick to reduce the deficit and give the Pirates a real chance at half-time. However Craig Hinton's error let MILLER in to make it 3-1.
Robert Koren set up goal machine KEVIN PHILLIPS to add a fourth and MILLER'S precise finish completed the rout.
Bristol Rovers: Phillips, Lescott, Hinton, Coles, Jacobson, Pipe (Walker 72), Campbell, Disley, Lines (Haldane 55), Lambert, Williams (Igoe 81).
Subs Not Used: Mike Green, Anthony.
Att: 12,011
More on this season's amazing FA Cup and West Brom soon.
Week 31 reminder
Week 31, the week of vote of confidences. Kevin Keegan, Avram Grant and Alan Curbishley all got the dreaded nod of approval from up high, whilst do-gooder Eliot Spitzer just got a very nice dash of karma. What a cnut.
The week was also remembered for bringing the FA Cup back to us, the real fans. Even Blues supporters have to admit that Barnsley deserved their victory, and Cardiff probably had their easiest game of the season up at the Riverside.
In the other only game involving Premier League teams, Fergie was left ranting after Muntari's penalty gave Pompey their first win at Old Trafford in 50 years.
In League action Reading continued their fight against relegation beating Man City 2-0, Liverpool beat Newcastle only 3-0 but Curbs' Hammers were good to form losing 4-0 again, this time to Spurs, for whom even Darren Bent scored!
Andrew Johnson got Everton's winner at the Stadium of Light on Sunday and Arsenal failed to beat Wigan.
The week was also remembered for bringing the FA Cup back to us, the real fans. Even Blues supporters have to admit that Barnsley deserved their victory, and Cardiff probably had their easiest game of the season up at the Riverside.
In the other only game involving Premier League teams, Fergie was left ranting after Muntari's penalty gave Pompey their first win at Old Trafford in 50 years.
In League action Reading continued their fight against relegation beating Man City 2-0, Liverpool beat Newcastle only 3-0 but Curbs' Hammers were good to form losing 4-0 again, this time to Spurs, for whom even Darren Bent scored!
Andrew Johnson got Everton's winner at the Stadium of Light on Sunday and Arsenal failed to beat Wigan.
Women, antiques and footie
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 31
"Women and antiques are the only reason for living." That is what Lovejoy used to say, well how about fantasy league? A second fiver for Alex Byatt in week 31 and a season's best 81 points saw him move out of the relegation places.
Danny Rose was next up with 74, Shay Reddy knocked in 72 and Aaron Barden 70. Lee Baughan and Ian France had a 69. Ooh, I have just come over a bit sick....
Then the beautiful Helen Peters and Soozie Syrett alongside the bountiful Alex Boswell each scored 66, three more than Oakers and 4 more than Martin Lee.
Tim Feldbruegge, currently in Barcelona I believe and Megan McLeod were the week's losers with 15.
"Women and antiques are the only reason for living." That is what Lovejoy used to say, well how about fantasy league? A second fiver for Alex Byatt in week 31 and a season's best 81 points saw him move out of the relegation places.
Danny Rose was next up with 74, Shay Reddy knocked in 72 and Aaron Barden 70. Lee Baughan and Ian France had a 69. Ooh, I have just come over a bit sick....
Then the beautiful Helen Peters and Soozie Syrett alongside the bountiful Alex Boswell each scored 66, three more than Oakers and 4 more than Martin Lee.
Tim Feldbruegge, currently in Barcelona I believe and Megan McLeod were the week's losers with 15.
Allianz boys provide spark
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 31 news
A not so sparkling week from Boys on tour but they still sit proudly atop of Div 2 28 points ahead of 2 Infinity & Beyond. The next three teams stay unchanged but Get him Big Dave made up the most ground.
The No-Hopers return to 5th after a month and team mate What the hell fall back in a scintillating battle.
Nobs Jockeys climb a place to 12th and Rochdale at Lloyds also move up one. At the bottom the Nancy Lollygaggers take back ownership of the prized penultimate place after a 7 week hiatus.
A not so sparkling week from Boys on tour but they still sit proudly atop of Div 2 28 points ahead of 2 Infinity & Beyond. The next three teams stay unchanged but Get him Big Dave made up the most ground.
The No-Hopers return to 5th after a month and team mate What the hell fall back in a scintillating battle.
Nobs Jockeys climb a place to 12th and Rochdale at Lloyds also move up one. At the bottom the Nancy Lollygaggers take back ownership of the prized penultimate place after a 7 week hiatus.
PK's to lose
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 31 news
A poor week from Egg & (Stevie) Bacon gave Tally.Wacker.co.uk further breathing space in their race for the title.
PK is now 80 points ahead and it seems to me that it is the Aon Re's boys to lose. Runningoutofroubles FC stay in 3rd, whilst Ajax Treesdown move into their highest position since mid-January.
Coming from behing again drop to 5th and Inter Thepub and Soozie's Sausages stay in 6th and 7th.
Lower down Obeonekanobenil jump two places after a cracking week and Sleepless Nights also gain some ground.
The star in Div 1 last week though was Lovejoy, who bounded out of relegation trouble with a season high, fiver winning 81 points. Lamb to the Slaughter fall back in trouble.
A poor week from Egg & (Stevie) Bacon gave Tally.Wacker.co.uk further breathing space in their race for the title.
PK is now 80 points ahead and it seems to me that it is the Aon Re's boys to lose. Runningoutofroubles FC stay in 3rd, whilst Ajax Treesdown move into their highest position since mid-January.
Coming from behing again drop to 5th and Inter Thepub and Soozie's Sausages stay in 6th and 7th.
Lower down Obeonekanobenil jump two places after a cracking week and Sleepless Nights also gain some ground.
The star in Div 1 last week though was Lovejoy, who bounded out of relegation trouble with a season high, fiver winning 81 points. Lamb to the Slaughter fall back in trouble.
Hypocrit
Yawn, yawn, stretch, stretch, scratch, scratch.
Ooh, what should I do today? What little industry that I know nothing about can I attempt to really screw, make those bastards pay for having the audacity to make money for their shareholders, boost employees pensions, work hard for their clients and make their staff happy.
Oh how about those nasty insurance brokers. They have too much money and they have too much of a good time. I mean it's alright if I buy 200 condoms down at Costco and get a discount for bulk buying but those insurance bores, they are steering and leveraging all over the bloody place. They're crooks.
Right, that's it I'm going after those losers, just after I checked my share portfolio and my inheritance and then, oh hang on what day is it? Tuesday? Oh hang on Tuesday night is Ashley. Oh those insurance crooks can wait, I'm off to get laid. Why not? There's nothing wrong with that is there?
Ooh, what should I do today? What little industry that I know nothing about can I attempt to really screw, make those bastards pay for having the audacity to make money for their shareholders, boost employees pensions, work hard for their clients and make their staff happy.
Oh how about those nasty insurance brokers. They have too much money and they have too much of a good time. I mean it's alright if I buy 200 condoms down at Costco and get a discount for bulk buying but those insurance bores, they are steering and leveraging all over the bloody place. They're crooks.
Right, that's it I'm going after those losers, just after I checked my share portfolio and my inheritance and then, oh hang on what day is it? Tuesday? Oh hang on Tuesday night is Ashley. Oh those insurance crooks can wait, I'm off to get laid. Why not? There's nothing wrong with that is there?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Team Challenge - RSA lead but only just
Its been 14 weeks since we dipped into the world of the N&R Team Challenge Trophy.
Greg Foulger is driving the mighty RSA along at the top of the table. Lee is doing his best to keep his end up and they lead Chicago's Allianz office by just 10 points. Steve and Michael have both been on fire recently and no US based team has ever done as well as this.
Ready, Huw and Ryan from Layton Blackham are also in close contact, although I know Ready is trying to get his team to practice the no sex rule before a game.
Ready's right hand gets a rest, so does Huw's sheep but unfortunately no such rule exists at the Nobuhubank!
BMS lie in 4th and are very much in the race. The huge team of AIG professionals (it says here) is in 5th. The previous champions are being led by Aaron but are being badly let down by Waterman and Francey.
In 6th place is Aspen. James is now Stateside but remains part of the team, but it is Plummer and Barrett that are the current stars.
Behind Aspen comes Lockton with Alex kingpin. In 8th is Lloyds of London, cor old Edward would be turning in his coffee shop grave!
Up two places was Aon Re. This is surely a tale of two sides of the desk. PK, Johnny Mc, Ben Graves and Helen the Hottie are having blinding seasons but the others with Alex the biggest offenders are having 'mares.
Ian leads Willis' feeble charge in 10th, with the Ex-Pats behind them. Nobby of course being the only saving light (cough, splutter) and finally bringing up the rear is Aon's US team led by John Littig.
Greg Foulger is driving the mighty RSA along at the top of the table. Lee is doing his best to keep his end up and they lead Chicago's Allianz office by just 10 points. Steve and Michael have both been on fire recently and no US based team has ever done as well as this.
Ready, Huw and Ryan from Layton Blackham are also in close contact, although I know Ready is trying to get his team to practice the no sex rule before a game.
Ready's right hand gets a rest, so does Huw's sheep but unfortunately no such rule exists at the Nobuhubank!
BMS lie in 4th and are very much in the race. The huge team of AIG professionals (it says here) is in 5th. The previous champions are being led by Aaron but are being badly let down by Waterman and Francey.
In 6th place is Aspen. James is now Stateside but remains part of the team, but it is Plummer and Barrett that are the current stars.
Behind Aspen comes Lockton with Alex kingpin. In 8th is Lloyds of London, cor old Edward would be turning in his coffee shop grave!
Up two places was Aon Re. This is surely a tale of two sides of the desk. PK, Johnny Mc, Ben Graves and Helen the Hottie are having blinding seasons but the others with Alex the biggest offenders are having 'mares.
Ian leads Willis' feeble charge in 10th, with the Ex-Pats behind them. Nobby of course being the only saving light (cough, splutter) and finally bringing up the rear is Aon's US team led by John Littig.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
The N&R end of season play - offs
The following items were discussed and passed at the annual Nobby & Ready FL meeting:
1) Next season we will have more blondes in the league
2) Nobby and Ready will be given a 100 point start
3) Anyone Scottish will start with minus 100 points
4) Prize money to be paid in Thai Baht
5) Anyone selecting Tim Cahill in their team will be forced to sail on the next convict ship to Australia with his lovely brother
6) Photos have to be included with the entry form, except from Sweaty, Francey, Lee Day and Ginger Rabbit
7) Ready and Nobby will not have to buy a beer at the end of season drink up
8) The entry fee will be $5,000, about £25.50 and if not paid within 30 days teams will be docked points.
9) Females can pay in kind
10) The Nobby and Ready 2007/8 play offs begin in week 33.
Regarding 10 (perhaps the most important, other than no.1) the promoted 8 teams will automatically go up to Div 1, the 8 relegated teams will automatically go down to Div 2.
The best 19 teams over the two divisions will join the promoted teams to compete for the Div 1 title - basically 2 months to find the ultimate N&R FL CHAMPION.
The relegated teams plus the worst 20 others will compete for the Div 2 play-offs.
Prize money will be distributed over both divisons, but the bulk of it will be in Div 1. The leaders of Div 1 and Div 2 at the end of week 32 will both win a cash prize.
The final prize monies will be announced shortly.
Meeting was adjourned when Ready passed out.
1) Next season we will have more blondes in the league
2) Nobby and Ready will be given a 100 point start
3) Anyone Scottish will start with minus 100 points
4) Prize money to be paid in Thai Baht
5) Anyone selecting Tim Cahill in their team will be forced to sail on the next convict ship to Australia with his lovely brother
6) Photos have to be included with the entry form, except from Sweaty, Francey, Lee Day and Ginger Rabbit
7) Ready and Nobby will not have to buy a beer at the end of season drink up
8) The entry fee will be $5,000, about £25.50 and if not paid within 30 days teams will be docked points.
9) Females can pay in kind
10) The Nobby and Ready 2007/8 play offs begin in week 33.
Regarding 10 (perhaps the most important, other than no.1) the promoted 8 teams will automatically go up to Div 1, the 8 relegated teams will automatically go down to Div 2.
The best 19 teams over the two divisions will join the promoted teams to compete for the Div 1 title - basically 2 months to find the ultimate N&R FL CHAMPION.
The relegated teams plus the worst 20 others will compete for the Div 2 play-offs.
Prize money will be distributed over both divisons, but the bulk of it will be in Div 1. The leaders of Div 1 and Div 2 at the end of week 32 will both win a cash prize.
The final prize monies will be announced shortly.
Meeting was adjourned when Ready passed out.
Week 30 reminder
Chelsea whalloped West Sham 4-0, a score they are getting used too. Lampard got sent off rightly so, but deemed wrong by the suits at the Premier League. The Geordie boys were crying int their brown ale again Saturday night after very late Matt Derbyshire strike gave Rovers a 1-0 win at the church of St James'.
Man U stuffed Championship heading Fulham 3-0 with a bench that included Rooney, Ronaldo and Anderson - is it worth 17 other teams even competing?
Forsell's hat-trick pissed on Spurs chips at St Andrews. Everton and Liverpool both won on Sunday. Tim Cahill saluting his vicious guilty brother after he scored for the Toffees. You can take the boy out of Bermondsey but....
Man U stuffed Championship heading Fulham 3-0 with a bench that included Rooney, Ronaldo and Anderson - is it worth 17 other teams even competing?
Forsell's hat-trick pissed on Spurs chips at St Andrews. Everton and Liverpool both won on Sunday. Tim Cahill saluting his vicious guilty brother after he scored for the Toffees. You can take the boy out of Bermondsey but....
Dom-ino effect
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 30
Dom Barrett scooped his first MoW win in week 32. Just 41 points was enough, four more than Chris Waterman and five over Mark Simmons.
It was another low scoring week affecting the two Divisions little. The league is all set for the big power play coming up and is even balanced with some interesting players hitting some good form such as Dom, Danny, Nobby, Plummer and Emma in Div 2 and in Div 1 Razor, Kennett, Simmons, Ready, Paull and Glenn.
Other managers that deserve a mention in dispatches after week 32 were PK, Razor, Dewbs, Ready, Barry Paull, Foulger, Rose, Nobster, Meghan and Tim Feldbruegge.
Dom Barrett scooped his first MoW win in week 32. Just 41 points was enough, four more than Chris Waterman and five over Mark Simmons.
It was another low scoring week affecting the two Divisions little. The league is all set for the big power play coming up and is even balanced with some interesting players hitting some good form such as Dom, Danny, Nobby, Plummer and Emma in Div 2 and in Div 1 Razor, Kennett, Simmons, Ready, Paull and Glenn.
Other managers that deserve a mention in dispatches after week 32 were PK, Razor, Dewbs, Ready, Barry Paull, Foulger, Rose, Nobster, Meghan and Tim Feldbruegge.
King Francis
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 30 news
Paul's Tally.Wacker.co.uk (he insists on me always calling his team by its full name you know) keep on running at the top of Div 1. The closest 6 teams behind him continue the chase, with Coming from behing again making the most ground with the best score in the top tier in week 30.
In mid table Hannoi Utd moved up a place and behind them NY Eagles continued their recent improvement in form.
The headline news however was that Lamb to the slaughter stepped out of the relegation battle for the first time this season. Great plaudits to Glenn, can he stay there until the play-offs?
Paul's Tally.Wacker.co.uk (he insists on me always calling his team by its full name you know) keep on running at the top of Div 1. The closest 6 teams behind him continue the chase, with Coming from behing again making the most ground with the best score in the top tier in week 30.
In mid table Hannoi Utd moved up a place and behind them NY Eagles continued their recent improvement in form.
The headline news however was that Lamb to the slaughter stepped out of the relegation battle for the first time this season. Great plaudits to Glenn, can he stay there until the play-offs?
Big balls
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 30 news
Barrett's the Bollocks kept the pressure up on the top two in week 30. I of course have never seen Dominic's bollocks but I once asked a rather attractive young Scandavian girl about them and she told me they were in nice and in perspective to the rest of his body.
Anyway moving swiftly on, Boys on tour increased their lead over 2Infinity & beyond at the top of the tree. Student Uprising making th emost ground in the top 8.
In the whole division only Arsene Knows changed place at all, moving into joint 9th, 9 points off the promotion race.
Barrett's the Bollocks kept the pressure up on the top two in week 30. I of course have never seen Dominic's bollocks but I once asked a rather attractive young Scandavian girl about them and she told me they were in nice and in perspective to the rest of his body.
Anyway moving swiftly on, Boys on tour increased their lead over 2Infinity & beyond at the top of the tree. Student Uprising making th emost ground in the top 8.
In the whole division only Arsene Knows changed place at all, moving into joint 9th, 9 points off the promotion race.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The Plan
I'm up to date for the minute but I just wanted to say that shortly we will enter the end of season Nobby & Ready FL play-off's.
The promoted teams will all enter Div 1, replacing the relegated teams. Then the other 12 Div 1 places will be taken up by the 12 teams with the best score at the cut-off point (to be announced).
The relegated 8 teams plus the other 20 useless lot will all compete in Div 2 for various prizes.
The top money will however remain in Div 1 to find the ultimate N&R FL 2007/08 Champion. Prize money will be announced shortly but the leader of Div 1 and Div 2 at the cut-off date will also be selected for a cash prize.
Understood?
The promoted teams will all enter Div 1, replacing the relegated teams. Then the other 12 Div 1 places will be taken up by the 12 teams with the best score at the cut-off point (to be announced).
The relegated 8 teams plus the other 20 useless lot will all compete in Div 2 for various prizes.
The top money will however remain in Div 1 to find the ultimate N&R FL 2007/08 Champion. Prize money will be announced shortly but the leader of Div 1 and Div 2 at the cut-off date will also be selected for a cash prize.
Understood?
Annoucement
This is old news but congratulations to Neil Cryer for finally leaving his comfy chair and taking a hot underwriting seat again back in the market.
Back in January Neil became the Head of Property Lines at new Lloyds Syndicate Sagicorp. All the best mate.
If anyone has any other news or gossip plus stories of shagging or puking or both at last Friday's 150 then I would be glad to hear it.
Nobs
Back in January Neil became the Head of Property Lines at new Lloyds Syndicate Sagicorp. All the best mate.
If anyone has any other news or gossip plus stories of shagging or puking or both at last Friday's 150 then I would be glad to hear it.
Nobs
Week 29 reminder
West Ham won the London derby with a late Solano goal at Craven Cottage - my Fulham are shit aren't they?
McFadden got a late, very late penalty for Birmingham at home to Arsenal. That was the game with THAT tackle on Da Silva. If you have Martin Taylor in your team, according to Mr Wenger, he should never play again, so you best sell him!
Tor, Tor, Torres grabbed a fine hat-trick at home to Middlesbro. Defoe scored again as Pompey beat Sunderland at home and Wigan beat Derby, but then again so could my son's 5-a-side team.
McCarthy scored twice for Blackburn in their not so one-sided 4-1 win over Bolton and Reading lost again to Villa. Harewood and Ashley Young getting the goals.
And of course Man Utd slaughtered a revitalised Newcastle under the fine leadership of Kevin Keegan 5-1. How long before he claims stress, goes back to his circus, which allows that clown Dennis Wise to take over?
McFadden got a late, very late penalty for Birmingham at home to Arsenal. That was the game with THAT tackle on Da Silva. If you have Martin Taylor in your team, according to Mr Wenger, he should never play again, so you best sell him!
Tor, Tor, Torres grabbed a fine hat-trick at home to Middlesbro. Defoe scored again as Pompey beat Sunderland at home and Wigan beat Derby, but then again so could my son's 5-a-side team.
McCarthy scored twice for Blackburn in their not so one-sided 4-1 win over Bolton and Reading lost again to Villa. Harewood and Ashley Young getting the goals.
And of course Man Utd slaughtered a revitalised Newcastle under the fine leadership of Kevin Keegan 5-1. How long before he claims stress, goes back to his circus, which allows that clown Dennis Wise to take over?
Just Plumm
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 29
85 points from Bazza Plummer meant that he wins his second MoW fiver. Previous champions have a knack of never winnin again, Pete Godfrey and Danny Rose aside in those halycon early days but Barry is looking menacing in 3rd place of the Div 2 race.
The next best player was quite a long way back, but it was in-form Steve Black. Neil Cryer was next, long time we seen some decent action from the Squire. Then low and behold it was Nobby with 62 points.
The best that the so called elite in Div 1 had to offer was a 59 from Aaron Barden, a 56 from Razor Nathan and 53 from Ian Kennett.
We had two teams that joined the Big Fat Zero club in week 29 - Martin Singleton and Alan Oakley.
85 points from Bazza Plummer meant that he wins his second MoW fiver. Previous champions have a knack of never winnin again, Pete Godfrey and Danny Rose aside in those halycon early days but Barry is looking menacing in 3rd place of the Div 2 race.
The next best player was quite a long way back, but it was in-form Steve Black. Neil Cryer was next, long time we seen some decent action from the Squire. Then low and behold it was Nobby with 62 points.
The best that the so called elite in Div 1 had to offer was a 59 from Aaron Barden, a 56 from Razor Nathan and 53 from Ian Kennett.
We had two teams that joined the Big Fat Zero club in week 29 - Martin Singleton and Alan Oakley.
Sooper Soozie
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 29 news
The top four are pretty spread out but we are looking for someone to leave the pack and challenge Tally.Wacker.co.uk. The big news in week 29 was the rise of Soozie's Sausages to 7th. Near the bottom after 6 weeks, our Sooz has slowly made her way up the Div 1 table to challenge the big boys.
All girl team Flighty Feet drop to 8th but are still in with a shout as are Little Red Devils who had another good week.
The bottom 8 remain the same.
The top four are pretty spread out but we are looking for someone to leave the pack and challenge Tally.Wacker.co.uk. The big news in week 29 was the rise of Soozie's Sausages to 7th. Near the bottom after 6 weeks, our Sooz has slowly made her way up the Div 1 table to challenge the big boys.
All girl team Flighty Feet drop to 8th but are still in with a shout as are Little Red Devils who had another good week.
The bottom 8 remain the same.
Dom and Baz battle it out
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 29 news
While Boys On Tour stay clear at the top, 2Infinity & beyond and fellow midget Barretts the Bollocks are having a right ding dong battle for 2nd place. It belongs to Barry this week with Get him Big Dave dropping to 4th. 51 points separate those three teams.
Behind these it is all to play for with Helen's Hotties, Arsene Knows and Megan & Hannah's Bears all knocking on the door.
Carnarvon Kickers dropped to 15th but Nobs Jockey climb to 13th, probably my highest place of a dismal season. Last train to Seaford was another upwards mover.
While Boys On Tour stay clear at the top, 2Infinity & beyond and fellow midget Barretts the Bollocks are having a right ding dong battle for 2nd place. It belongs to Barry this week with Get him Big Dave dropping to 4th. 51 points separate those three teams.
Behind these it is all to play for with Helen's Hotties, Arsene Knows and Megan & Hannah's Bears all knocking on the door.
Carnarvon Kickers dropped to 15th but Nobs Jockey climb to 13th, probably my highest place of a dismal season. Last train to Seaford was another upwards mover.
Week 28 reminder
It was FA Cup 5th Round week which might explain the general low scoring, particularly with a lot of Premier League clubs already out.
In the big game Man U stuffed Arsenal 4-0 with goals from Nani, Rooney and Fletcher twice. Eboue was sent off for the Gunners. Liverpool remember lost at home to Championship Barnsley. Chelsea beat Huddersfield with Lampard scoring in each half.
Middlesbro drew 0-0 at Bramall Lane and Pompey won at Preston thanks to a last minute own goal.
In the big game Man U stuffed Arsenal 4-0 with goals from Nani, Rooney and Fletcher twice. Eboue was sent off for the Gunners. Liverpool remember lost at home to Championship Barnsley. Chelsea beat Huddersfield with Lampard scoring in each half.
Middlesbro drew 0-0 at Bramall Lane and Pompey won at Preston thanks to a last minute own goal.
Paull the other one
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 28From worst to best in 7 days for Barry Paull, collecting the 28th MoW award with a miserable 38 points. Barry is hovering at the wrong end of the table and frankly we expect more from this N&R FL vet, perhaps this will be the encouragement his side needs.
But hang on hold the haggis and blow your bagpipes, sultry Emma Wylie got the next best score, the highest in Div 2 with 36.
Other managers deserving a nod of congratulations in week 28 were Barry Plummer, Richard Nathan, my old mucker Ready and low and behold another lovely Sweaty, no not Lee, but Kirstie B.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 28 news
Excuse me while I take a nap but fook all is happening in the Div 1 title race. Okay Tally.Wacker.co.uk is running away with it, and Egg & (Stevie) Bacon are nicely settle in 2nd but one would have to go down to 15th place to see the only movement in the table after week 28's games. In Tatters jumping over Pure Irish.
In the relegation battle it is Keep the faith and Lamb to the Slaughter's turn to try to save face.
Excuse me while I take a nap but fook all is happening in the Div 1 title race. Okay Tally.Wacker.co.uk is running away with it, and Egg & (Stevie) Bacon are nicely settle in 2nd but one would have to go down to 15th place to see the only movement in the table after week 28's games. In Tatters jumping over Pure Irish.
In the relegation battle it is Keep the faith and Lamb to the Slaughter's turn to try to save face.
You Pranker
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 28 news2 Infinity & Beyond moved back into 3rd after a short reign by Dominic's The Bollocks (pun intended). PLG is a Fud move back up to 6th and it was good to see Helen's Hotties' back in the top 8, level with What the hell. Nobs Jockey's continue their slow move into the top half - these things can't be rushed of course.
And the big news at the bottom of Div 2 is that Wise Prankers take back the penultimate spot after a 4 week sabatical.
Week 27 reminder
In week 27 John Carew amazingly not only scored but got 3 as Villa hammered Keegan's Newcastle, Oh that explains it....
Spurs beat Derby comfortably at Pride Park 3-0, Keano scoring twice. Sunderland beat Wigan 2-0, Everton kept up their European chase with a home win over struggling Reading 1-0 and in the big games Sunday Man City beat United for the first time in a few years 2-1. Benjani and Vassell getting the goals while Chelsea and Liverpool did their title hope no good at all by playing out a bore scoreless draw at Stamford Bridge.
Spurs beat Derby comfortably at Pride Park 3-0, Keano scoring twice. Sunderland beat Wigan 2-0, Everton kept up their European chase with a home win over struggling Reading 1-0 and in the big games Sunday Man City beat United for the first time in a few years 2-1. Benjani and Vassell getting the goals while Chelsea and Liverpool did their title hope no good at all by playing out a bore scoreless draw at Stamford Bridge.
Taking the Michael
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 27
A low scoring week after the rainful of points the week before. Michael Stout picked up his first MoW fiver, about $400 (not really Michael) with a lowly 42 points. Next up was Rutter again and runaway leader Kelleher with 40.
Also deserving of a mention was Alex Byatt and Pete Doyle. The lowest score was by Barry Paull, still sulking after Palarse's defeat at The Valley the week before!
A low scoring week after the rainful of points the week before. Michael Stout picked up his first MoW fiver, about $400 (not really Michael) with a lowly 42 points. Next up was Rutter again and runaway leader Kelleher with 40.
Also deserving of a mention was Alex Byatt and Pete Doyle. The lowest score was by Barry Paull, still sulking after Palarse's defeat at The Valley the week before!
Tally - ho
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 27 news
The top 4 remain unchanged in week 27 but Tally.Wacker.co.uk are now 58 points clear at the top of the tree, will lt be a first ever title for PK, who I'll be sharing a pint with here in Chicago in about 7 weeks.
Inter ThePub and Ajax Treesdown swap positions but otherwise all the way down to 19th there were no positional changes.
In the relegation space Lovejoy's Luvvies moved up 3 places after a good week.
The top 4 remain unchanged in week 27 but Tally.Wacker.co.uk are now 58 points clear at the top of the tree, will lt be a first ever title for PK, who I'll be sharing a pint with here in Chicago in about 7 weeks.
Inter ThePub and Ajax Treesdown swap positions but otherwise all the way down to 19th there were no positional changes.
In the relegation space Lovejoy's Luvvies moved up 3 places after a good week.
King Dom
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 27 news
Barrett's the Bollocks reached their highest place after week 27 climbing into 3rd place above 2Infinity & beyond. Boys on Tour stay top and Get him Big Dave 2nd.
The No Hopers are now 6th after a MoW performance. Lower down Carnavon Kickers moved up a place as did Nobs Jockeys.
Barrett's the Bollocks reached their highest place after week 27 climbing into 3rd place above 2Infinity & beyond. Boys on Tour stay top and Get him Big Dave 2nd.
The No Hopers are now 6th after a MoW performance. Lower down Carnavon Kickers moved up a place as did Nobs Jockeys.
Week 26 reminder
As I'm so far behind with this, I thought we would all need a little reminder of what happened in week 26.
Spurs and Man U drew 1-1 with Tevez equalising in the last minute. This match had 10 bookings, 7 from United. Jermain Defoe scored on his debut for Pompey at home to Chelsea in a game that also finished 1-1. Adebayor scored twice as they beat Man City in Manchester.
Middlesbro scored a late equaliser at St James Park preventing Sir Kevin Keegan getting his first victory.
And finally Charlton beat Crystal Palarse 2-0 at The Valley!
Spurs and Man U drew 1-1 with Tevez equalising in the last minute. This match had 10 bookings, 7 from United. Jermain Defoe scored on his debut for Pompey at home to Chelsea in a game that also finished 1-1. Adebayor scored twice as they beat Man City in Manchester.
Middlesbro scored a late equaliser at St James Park preventing Sir Kevin Keegan getting his first victory.
And finally Charlton beat Crystal Palarse 2-0 at The Valley!
Return of the Mc
Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 26
Huge scoring week 26. 13 managers scored 90 points or more with John McGowan picking up a deserved for MoW award. John hit 98 points, one more than Rob Munden and Danny Rose.
Remarkably Nobby waited half a year to have a decent week, 96 for me. 94 for Suzie and a fantastic 93 for Rutts and Godders.
Three teams each from Div 2 scored 92 points. They were Lee Baughan, Steve Black and Huw Thomas, all 3 on a rich vein of form.
And then Ian Kennett and league leader Paul Kelleher smacked 91, whilst Div 2 leader Greg Foulger added 90 to his already great total.
Martin Lee and his Endurance crowd had the worst week with 30.
Huge scoring week 26. 13 managers scored 90 points or more with John McGowan picking up a deserved for MoW award. John hit 98 points, one more than Rob Munden and Danny Rose.
Remarkably Nobby waited half a year to have a decent week, 96 for me. 94 for Suzie and a fantastic 93 for Rutts and Godders.
Three teams each from Div 2 scored 92 points. They were Lee Baughan, Steve Black and Huw Thomas, all 3 on a rich vein of form.
And then Ian Kennett and league leader Paul Kelleher smacked 91, whilst Div 2 leader Greg Foulger added 90 to his already great total.
Martin Lee and his Endurance crowd had the worst week with 30.
Steve hellbent on promotion
Breaking news 8888 Division 2 - week 26 news
Get him Big Dave moved to within striking distance of Boys on Tour in week 26. 2Infinity & beyond dropped a spot. In 6th now is PLG is a Fud and new in the promotion race is Steve Black's What the Hell, knocking Helen's Hotties out of the top 8 for the first time since October.
At the arse end of the business Nancy Lollygaggers swapped place with the Wise Prankers.
Get him Big Dave moved to within striking distance of Boys on Tour in week 26. 2Infinity & beyond dropped a spot. In 6th now is PLG is a Fud and new in the promotion race is Steve Black's What the Hell, knocking Helen's Hotties out of the top 8 for the first time since October.
At the arse end of the business Nancy Lollygaggers swapped place with the Wise Prankers.
Sizzling Soozie
Breaking news 8888 Division 1 - week 26 news
Not much change at the top after week 26. Tally.Wacker.co.uk increased their lead at the top after their 2nd best score of the season. The next four sides remain unaltered but Inter Thepub overtake Flighty Feet for 6th.
Down below them Soozies Sausages leapt over Ryan's Oldham Tightly - phoar! Ian Kennett's Little Red Devils also made some good ground.
At the bottom Space Badgers improved their chances of avoiding relegation as did Lamb to the Slaughter and Brighton Blues.
Not much change at the top after week 26. Tally.Wacker.co.uk increased their lead at the top after their 2nd best score of the season. The next four sides remain unaltered but Inter Thepub overtake Flighty Feet for 6th.
Down below them Soozies Sausages leapt over Ryan's Oldham Tightly - phoar! Ian Kennett's Little Red Devils also made some good ground.
At the bottom Space Badgers improved their chances of avoiding relegation as did Lamb to the Slaughter and Brighton Blues.
Links
I was playing with the template on here the other day and whoops I lost all the links on the right hand side. Bloody pain in the hole - I will have to spend some time finding them and putting them back up.
If any of you need that stuff, then let me know.
If any of you need that stuff, then let me know.
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