Rant over

So Flapper Robinson is worse than Calamity James? Surely if Kasey Keller can play for Fulham, then Peter Shilton could make a return for England because blimey he could do no worse. Can you imagine the next north London derby? Lehmann and Robinson together. Wow, one for the goalkeeping connoisseurs that. I might be biased and I think Godders would agree with me, but put Scott Carson in for the games against Israel, Russia and Hrvatska.

Of course we could all club together for a private jet to allow Becks a quicker commute, or how about sacking Steve 'very interesting' McLaren and replacing him with that very nice Swedish man with glasses. Always rated the bloke personally.

There was a time that a league table wasn't produced until after 4 games. I used to like it that way, particularly if Charlton lost their first 4 games, then it was almost like it didn't count. But I have come to realise that the papers now produce tables after 1 game to give fans of clubs outside the big four a chance to gloat because lets face it after 4 games it reads something like the following (in no particular order):

1. Man Utd
2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Liverpool

And then it doesn't change for the next 9 months. Dull, dull, dull. No stop it Spurs fans, don't make me laugh - get back to your phone and ring the 606 show.

But what about Man City being top then? I bet Neil Cryer let more dodgy quotes go through the books the day after the Manc derby win than ever before. Razor, if you are reading this - send your last quarter's book of dodgy Marsh deals straight to the Franchise Board. Piece of piss.

Has Martin Jol been sacked yet? What's that? A vote of confidence, oh great I bet that has cheered the Dutchman up. Little Sam at Bolton's getting it in the neck too, whilst you have to give it to Big Sam don't you? I mean how many managers do Newcastle have to have before their fans realise that they are shit. Winning one game does not make you Champions League winners. Please put your tops back on and start booing again.

Finally was Roy Keane right about what he said on WAGS controlling their husbands. Does he not think that footballers are not intelligent human beings and have their own minds? Don't answer that.