We'll be running round Germany with our willies hanging out

Well, us English will be and maybe the Irish & probably the Americans but it is more likely that George W Bush will learn to speak English than the Welsh & Scots qualifying for the 2006 World Cup after the recent round of matches.

Before we go any further, a question. Mark Hughes - a highly coveted manager, the Welsh FA desperate to keep their man. What is his record - 10 competitive Internationals without a victory.

McBerti Vogts, Pilloried by anyone wearing a kilt. The tartan army desperate to get rid of the little kraut. Record - Only 4 defeats in last 15 competitve Internationals.

Sir Sven, can't keep his little Swedish winkle in his pants, accused of boring play. Record - only ever lost 2 competitive matches.

That's that cleared up then. So England sit proudly on top of their group after 4 games, a point ahead of Poland, which proved our result earlier in the season there was an excellent one. The Welsh & Northern Ireland have it all to do, the Welsh in particular were hoping that England would beat everybody and then they would beat the rest to get 2nd place. I thought the Welsh were very poor against England and the new manager, whoever it will be - Gary Speed, John Toshack, Max Boyce, Dolly the sheep - will have quite a task in getting them to the Finals.

Elsewhere in Europe, in Group 1 Finland & Romania lead the way. In two the European Champions Greece have started very slowly losing to Albania and getting only draws in their other two games.

In Group 3, Portugal are on fire. They beat Russia 7-1 on Wednesday night. Ireland, who were very impressive and should of beaten the French on Saturday lead Group 4. For once the Italians have started well in Group 5, Scotland's group. They beat Belarus 4-3 on Wednesday in an entertaining game. The Jocks have just 2 points from 3 games with Italy away next. Ta-da.

Spain have had a poor start to their qualification in Group 7. They could only draw against Bosnia-Herzegovina & Serbia Montenegro who lead the table and the Swedes lead Group 8.

In the North, Central America & Caribbean, The USA have already qualified for the next stage after going unbeaten so far.

No surprise in South America as Brazil & Argentina lead the group with Paraguay 3rd & Ecuador 4th.