Wendy Richard RIP

Continuing what has become a sad theme, Wendy Richard died today at the age of 65. She was suffering from cancer. Although she spent 21 years in Eastenders as Pauline Fowler, I remember her more fondly as Miss Brahms in Are You Being Served.

The busty Miss Brahms used to make my puberty all the better as she frequently fixed her suspender belt and bent over to straighten some underwear in a very low cut top in the department she used to work as assistant to Mrs Slocombe, famous for her pussy of course.

Wendy Richards asked to be written out of Eastenders in 2006 and recently I read had been appearing in Post Office adverts. RIP Miss Brahms.

Lovely Roubles

Breaking News 88888 Week 27 scores
Johnny Mac collected his first MoW of the campaign this week. Well done to one of the N&R's most consistent performers. And John is now back in the top 10 overall.

Loads of Roubles whallopped a decent 52 pts in a low week for Prem teams what with the Cup on and only one league game. Gooner Win League bounced back to form with a 39 point score, one more than Wardy's Bingo and two more than title challenger Glasgow kiss, who is finding time to mount quite a challenge amonhst her training programme for you Sarah.

Hot Pink Center, nope not word association but the boys from Chi Town, still having a fine season and in week 27 added another 32 points to their tally. Hannoi Utd are battling to make the N&R Finals and also added 32 as did Brighton Blues and Paris Eagles. surprisingly struggling at the foot of the overall table.

30 points for 2 Infinity & Beyond and 29 each for Sizzling Saveloys Bangers, In Tatters, Goonersmoan and Torres Rosso. Good skills. Finally a mention to Beaver Ruin FC for another better week (28) and overall leader Bollo*ks to Insurance (28) plus Bent it like Bentley and Soozies Succulent Sizzlers both scored 27.

Worst Weekly Score - Alex couldn't Byatt a point

Dear old dear. Alex Byatt's -1 point in week 27 propels him into the unenviable position of first in the season's worst weekly score race. Embarrasingly Keith and I give out a prize for this junk. A minus point is quite an achievement however it is still a long way off Nigel Tatlock's -5 in 2006, that matched Jonathan Poole's -5 in 2000.

Here is the current top 10 worst weekly scores:

1. Alex Byatt, -1 point, week 27
2= Mark Simmons, 1 point, week 5
2= Mark Wenman, 1 point, week 15
4= Ian Monahan, 2 points, week 22
4= Neil Cryer, 2 points, week 18
4= Danny Matthews, 2 points, week 5
4= Mark Dewberry, 2 points, week 19
4= Jason Syrett, 2 points, week 27
4= Huw Thomas, 2 points, week 27
10= Michael Stout, 3 points, week 6
Up to week 27.

Week 27 - Groupy things

Group 1 - The Lamb
Loads of Roubles, MoW in week 27 moves into 2nd position behind Gooner win league. Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon 27 points adrift of 3rd with 3 weeks to play but a best runners up place looks likely.

Group 2 - East India
Just 14 points seperate the top 3 in this AIG group. Bent it like Bentley are top, Ninjas 2nd and Torres Rosso 3rd.

Group 3 - New Moon
Soozie back on top of Nobs........ get your flippin minds out of the gutter. Gunners Bandits remain 3rd, Saveloy 4th and Hannoi Utd 5th.

Group 4 - The Ship
Bollocks to insurance still top and clear. Towels on the bench also look safely through. Preston Pie Munchers in 3rd and battling for a best runners up spot.

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow kiss 111 points ahead of Elland (Glad) Back. But The Pohutukawas and Sheron's ready to fac fighting it out for qualification. Dynamo Kebab, St Mirnoff, Bingo and Ginger all in with an outside shout.

Group 6 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond lead by 52 from In Tatters. Both look likely to go through but Panzo and Beaver Ruin may yet still have a say.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Boys on tour are safe, 90 points ahead of Guinness & eggs but Hot Pink Center are just 2 behind them. Brighton Blues still in with a sniff of a runners up place too.

Week 27 reminder

Just one Premiership game and that was Pompey under the caretakership of Paul Hart beating Man C 2-0. Goals from Johnson and the Herminator.

In the FA Cup however various Premier teams were involved. Santa Cruz and Samba scraped a draw for Blackburn at home to Cov. Zayette scored for Hull at Sheffield Utd, Fulham drew at Swansea 1-1, Anelka scored big with three for Chelski at Watford.

Ilunga and Downing each scored in the Hammers v Boro all Prem clash, Everton had a superb win over Villa, youngster Rodwell, Arteta (pen) and Timmy aren't I 'ard Cahill getting the 3rd. Milner's pen was only a consolation in the end.

Nani, Gibson, Ronaldo, and Danny Welbeck all scored for Man U reserves at Pride Park and in a belated replay Eduardo scored twice on his long awaited comeback as Arse beat Cardiff 4-0. Bendtner and Van Persie also found the net.

What's gone wrong at Charlton?

Some of you might find the BBC's Paul Fletcher blog interesting. To me the actual article says little but the comments of various club's fans are more fascinating.

What's gone wrong at Charlton?

Photograph of the week

Good on the Croat, a comeback brace on Tuesday night for Arsenal.

Best weekly score - Godders still tough to beat

Just a little update on the best of the best weekly scores. 25 squid for the winner. Godders out in front with the 2nd highest score in the history of the N&R FL, that's gonna be hard to beat. Mark Simmons in 2nd and Neil in 3rd. Note that Greg holds 3 of the best 10 scores this season.

1. Peter Godfrey, 120 pts, week 20
2. Mark Simmons, 107 pts, week 25
3. Neil Reynolds, 99 pts, week 20
4. Martin Singleton, 93 pts, week 20
5. Greg Foulger, 92 pts, week 12
6= Greg Foulger, 91 pts, week 20
6= Simon Newport, 91 pts, week 25
8. Danny Rose, 90 pts, week 25
9. John McGowan, 87 pts, week 25
10= Paul & Christian Long, 86 pts, week 20
10= Greg Foulger, 86 pts, week 25
10= Aaron Barden, 86 pts, week 25

Week 26 reminder

A snowbound week at home but the Premiership games escaped. Sunderland beat Stoke to keep them clear of danger, Newcastle had a massive win at West Brom, the Mags turning it on for their ill manager. A very late rally (again) by Liverpool at Pompey put pay to Tony Adams short managerial career.

And so did Chelsea's failure to beat another superb Hull 90 minutes at the Bridge finish Scolari's time in west London. Bellamy scored again for Citeh to further endanger Boro's Premier League existance and Jo got two on his debut as Everton hammered inconsistent Bolton 3-0.

Villa stay 3rd after beating Blackburn 2-0, Wigan and Foolham drew 0-0, yawn and on Sunday 10-man Arsenal secured a goalless draw at the Lane in the Norf London derby, whilst Manu kept their 456th consecutive clean sheet by winning 1-0 (boring, boring Man U) at West Ham.

Week 26 - The Groups

4 weeks to go until the Finals of the N&R FL 2008 / 09 season. Top two qualify for the finals automatically and the 7 best runners up. Rest into the Plate.

Some interesting changes this week to the Group standings:

Group 1 - The Lamb
Gooner win league is through I would say, Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon and Roubles are battling for 2nd place. Goonersmoan have some work to do to make it into the Finals as a best runner up

Group 2 - East India
Close, very close. Bent it like Bentley now top the league. Ninjas down to 2nd with Torres Rosso hot on his heels. Megan & Hannah's bears need some more weeks like 26.

Group 3 - New Moon
Another new group leader - ME, Bermuda shorts! 2 ahead of Soozie. Her brother's Gunners Bandits are close in 3rd, think both Saveloy and Hannoi Utd are creditable best runners up in this group of death.

Group 4 - The Ship
Bollocks to insurance out in front, Towels on the bench closing all the time but both look certain to qualify. Pie Muncher is a great bet for best runner up. Arsene Knows and World Champions have a fair bit to make up but both are more than experienced fantasy players to do it..

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow kiss still lead and look very comfy. Elland (Glad) back in 2nd but only just ahead of The Pohutakawas on a good run in 3rd and new sort Sheron in 4th. It's between these four I reckon.

Group 6 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond still leading, now by 51. In Tatters in 2nd a fair bit ahead of Panzo and Beaver Ruin. Team Chong and Mono look out of it. Prove me wrong fella's.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Boys on tour are in the clear and Guinness & eggs and Hot Pink Center could well both qualify deservedly so. Brighton Blues are still in the hunt though.

Way to go!

Breaking News 88888 Week 26 scores
Finally some prize money, £5, ooh about £1.50 in Bermuda terms, might get me almost one way on the ferry to work in the morning. Week 26 MoW. Lovely. All that hard work has finally paid off and I'm actually in the Top 10 overall for the first time in bloody yonks.

55 points for Nobby's Bermuda shorts, 8 ahead of Towels on the bench, Oakers continuing his fine run, which is as about a surprising as mine. Oakers' is 4th overall by the way - nose bleed status if there ever was one.

3rd in week 26 was Megan & Hannah's Bears with a worthy 45, same as Shinawatras Dream. Elland (Glad) Back are going well too, and they and Hot Pink Center both busted 44. The Chicago boys now also in the Top 10 as well. It's a funny old game.

Beaver Ruin started perhaps a comeback in week 26 with 43 and good to see ex-champs Ginger Rapids and Hannoi Utd joining hands with 41. Gunners Bandits scored a 40, one more than government owned Bent it like Bentley and Pure Irish. Mark now up to 12th overall.

Pam's St Mirnoff FC did good with 38 as did another title hopeful 2Infinity and beyond with 37. And Dynamo Kebab (36), World Champions, Boys on Tour and Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon all 35, each deserve a mention in dispatches.

Week 26 low? Philly Feet 2k8 with 6.

Week 25 - Group update

No standings this week, they are in the email attachement if you want to have a close look at your chances.

The 7 N&R Groups will finish at week 30, on and around the March 10th, leaving 11 weeks for teams to battle it out in the N&R Finals and the glorious title of N&R 2008/09 Champion or for teams to compete for the Losers Plate.

The winner and runner up from each group will qualify automatically for the N&R Finals plus the 7 best runners up based on total score at week 30.

The remaining 34 lightweights will go into their own league competition where there still will be some small prizes to play for.

All rules and regulations are decided by Nobby & Ready and are final.

Week 25 reminder

3 goalless draws if you are looking out for your defenders and goalkeeper. Boro v Blackburn, Arse u West Ham and Villa v Wigan.

Wins for Stoke 1-0 at home against Citeh, Utd beat Everton 1-0, Fulham beat Pompey and Bolton beat Spurs, despite Benty getting two. Hull and the baggies shared the spoils at the KC.

On Sunday Torres got two late, late goals in the big game at Anfield against Chelsea and in the north east derby Newcastle and Sunderland drew 1-1. Goals from Ameobi and Cisse, his 9th league goal of the season.

In the Cup West Brom lost at Burnley with Zuiverloon scoring their only goal, whilst Scott Carson let in three.

Bermuda Triangle

219, 908, 1028, 921, 852, 922. Hotel room numbers and my homes for the past 16 days. A tiring but enjoyable journey taking in Miami Beach twice, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Puerto Rico and how I miss being a complete stranger in a big city.

In retrospect we should have stayed in Puerto Rico longer, I loved what we saw of this old and new Latin island, and wished we could have explored it more fully. Back in Bermuda this morning, the weather is slightly dreary but I still have a desk and a computer, which is a good thing.

Being off the island for some time had got me in a scrutinising mood and, probably the completely wrong attitude, but I kept thinking that I honestly don't believe I'll ever settle in Bermuda, settle in that I will accept my life here as 'normal.' Funny word 'normal' I know but living on a 21-sq. mile island surrounded by coral reefs is not what I got old believing is normal.

Yes, I know I am lucky to be able to live and work here for a period of my life cocooned in a tropical offshore bubble away from what is a deepening recession in the US and the UK, although I personally reckon Bermuda's obtuse attitude to worldwide affairs will come to bite them on the arse at some point.

I can only hope that in time I can supress my consternation at the many things that wind me up here, spending more time off-island will help but it's almost impossible to compartmentalise work and home as they overlap at every corner, even though we have made some very good friends.

But with scrutiny comes discernment and I tell myself every day, if you don't push yourself, and take opportunities when presented, then one lives not knowing what could have been. I'd rather know. Would be interested to know what the other ex-pats in the N&R FL think, there are a fair few of us.

A quiet week in store back home, I'm hoping to catch up on a few Oscar nominees and was seriously thinking of a detox after eating and drinking out every night for 3 weeks - someone told me about the maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and hot water one. Lose a pound a day, probably through vomiting. I'll think about it.

Road to Wembley - Challenge Anelka

Our boys Chelski booked their place in the quarter finals after a late but in the end easy victory over battling Watford and their ex-Chelsea coach Brendan Rodgers 3-1 on Saturday.

TAMAS PRISKIN gave the Hornets the lead after he sprung the offside trap to dink the ball over Petr Cech and for a while the dream was on, with Jay DeMerit marshalling the Chelsea defence and the Blues getting frustrated.

However after the first 10 minutes of action it seemed that Watford would be the recipients of a heavy fifth-round beating, with Chelsea twice going close.

But to say that Watford's goal came against the run of play would be a massive understatement and just 6 minutes afterwards NICOLAS ANELKA levelled with an overhead kick from Frank Lampard's corner.

Cole then found ANELKA with a left-wing cross who headed his effort down and past the Watford keeper. The comeback was complete in injury time when the ANELKA picked up Kalou's pass, turned and fired in a deserved third and his hattrick.

Manager for the game Butch Wilkins said afterwards: "Yes, we had a scare, but overall I think our performance merited a victory and we got it,"

More on Gus Hiddink's Chelsea soon.

Ready's Benfleet Bet update

Thanks for the entries to this weekend's 5th Round games, those that missed it, oh well, there is always the Quarter Finals.

Ready has scored the predictions but we will wait on the Arsenal v Burnley game. The Gunners beat Cardiff comfortably tonight and will now face Burnley at the Emirates on the weekend of 7/8 March with the winner of that tie at home to Sheffield United or Hull in the Quarter-Finals.

Full draw:

Blackburn Rovers or Coventry City v Chelsea
Swansea City or Fulham v Manchester United
Arsenal or Burnley v Sheffield United or Hull City
Everton v West Ham United or Middlesbrough

Francey and Ben were leading after the 4th Round and we will ask for predictions all the way to Wembley and the winner will receive an end of season prize.

That's why we're Champions

Breaking News 88888 Week 25 scores
It was only a matter of time really wasn't it? Mark Simmons entirely made up side of Red Devils finally cracked it in week 25. 107 points, the 2nd best of the N&R season as the World Champions impregnable defence held out again for a record time. Mark has left himself with a lot to do to qualify for the N&R finals, but remember he was rock bottom for weeks at the beginning of the seaosn, ironically while Goonersmoan, Rutts team made up of all Gunners, was top. Mark is now above Rutts in the table!

Nobbys Bermuda shorts hot a magnificent 91, if I say so myself. A season best, followed by Arsene Knows with 90 and Loads of Roubles with 87. The two challengers Boys on tour and Torres Rosso bounced back well from not so good week's 24. Both 86.

Gunners Bandits kept up their hopes with 85 points, as did Oakers' Towels on the bench with 81. Keep the faith picked up with 79 and Californication notched a 78.

Other deserved mentions go to Elland (Glad) Back (76), Student Ninjas (74), Bent it like Bentley (73), Hot Pink Center, Dangleberry Rovers, Beaver Ruin FC and Hannoi Utd all with 72 and lastly The Pohutukawas with 70.

Goonersmoan by the way scored a very reasonable 66 and the lowest week 25 score was actually a more than decent 27 from Lamb to the slaughter.

Week 24 reminder

Playing a bit of catch up. Week 23 was the final weekend of January. It was a midweek programme and on Tuesday Man U hammered 5 at WBA, Spurs beat Stoke in a much needed victory, Defoe, Dawson and Lennon scoring, Villa left Fratton Park with a 1-0 win and Sunderland beat Fulham 1-0.

On Wednesday Blackburn and Bolton drew 2-2 in the Lancashire derby, Kalou scored twice for Chelsea in their home win over struggling Boro, Van Persie left it late as Arsenal drew 1-1 at Everton, Wigan and Liverpool shared the spoils at the JJB and West Ham beat Hull at the Boleyn.

Rochdale rocks

Breaking News 88888 Week 24 scores
Would you adam and eve it? It just shows that every manager gives it their very best shot when they first enter their team. Rochdale's finest Neil Cryer flat bottom of the table in 55th place with just 541 points won the MoW and 25 quid in week 24 with 54 points, his and Cyril Smith's best of the season. well done squire.

Another straggler Richard Nathan came 2nd as Gerrardinho rounded up 49, with Towels on the bench way back in 3rd with 39, but a whole 10 ahead of Bent it like Bentley in 4th with 29.

A very strange week indeed with some of the big hitters struggling such as Guinness & eggs, Boys on tour, In Tatters, Gooner win league and Student Ninjas.

Michael's No Hopers matched his 7th worst score of the season of 3pts, Francey and Ben's Keep the faith matched their 8th worse of 4 and Real Ale Madrid scored 4 also. A weird week indeed.

Week 24 - The groups

Group 1 - The Lamb
Gooner win league is still way out ahead 112 points ahead of Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon. Roubles remain 3rd but still in with a good shout of qualifying.

Group 2 - East India
Megan & Hannah's bears moved into 4th still in with a good chance of making the finals. Torres stay 3rd with the Bent it like Bentley 2nd and Ninjas still top.

Group 3 - New Moon
Anyone from 7 could qualify here. Saveloys Bangers moved up a place, Bandits moved up two places, Pot Noodle dropped back. Soozie still leads with Bermuda shorts 2nd.

Group 4 - The Ship
B*llocks to insurance well clear, Towels on bench are well placed but Preston pie muncher has one of the leagues best record (9th overall) - this is a tough group.

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow kiss can already smell the finals but only 4 points seperates 2nd from 4th. Dynamo Kebab, St Mirnoff and Rapids are still in it though.

Group 6 - The Elephant
2Infinity & beyond are top with ex colleague In Tatters 2nd. Panzo is struggling to stay in contention but they, Chong and Mono all have a chance.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
Boys on tour despite a bad week 23 still sit on top with Guinness and eggs 2nd. Hot Pink Center and Brighton Blues both can still qualify though.