Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Photograph of the week

Made an MBE last year and received an honorary fellowship from Liverpool John Moores University. He was also honoured with the freedom of his home borough, Knowlsey, in November. but once a scallywag, always a scallywag. Eh, eh, eh, eh....

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Southend United - well I never knew....

1) In the mid 80s, then chairman Vic Jobson sacked the shrimp. The mascot and the silhouette on the club badge were replaced by his own choice of a lion and an anchor. There's a happy ending though: the fans campaigned for the return of the shrimp, and finally – in 2001 – got their way. Yay! Fan power! Supporters also steadfastly stick to being nicknamed the Shrimpers, despite the attempts of some empty-headed suits to have this replaced by 'the Blues'. Yeah, cos that would have been original, and steeped in local history, wouldn't it. Suits, eh.

2) The famous fans Shrimpers can boast about are rotund chanteuse Alison Moyet, Tory Teddy Taylor, and actor/comedian Terry Alderton who, one source reckons, used to play in goal for Southend. Who Douglas Adams supported I do not know; what I do know, however, is that in the second episode of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect are rescued from asphyxiation in deep space by a craft with an infinite improbability drive, and find themselves sitting on a replica of the pier at Southend.

3) Penalty-related trivia #1: on 28 September 1991, Southend missed their seventh penalty in succession, thereby setting a new record. Though not one to brag about. Penalty-related trivia #2: left-back Jimmy Evans was top scorer in the 1921-22 season with 10 goals; they were all penalties.

4) Southend played at Wembley in 1930 - but this is not a finest hour, more something for the Trivia section below: the match was actually a league game against Clapton Orient, who were using Wembley for home matches while they had the builders in. The Shrimpers have, however, been to the Millenium Stadium – in fact, where Blackpool beat them 2-0 in the LDV Trophy final.

5) Southend's first ever season was played at Roots Hall in 1906; back then, though, the pitch was 50 feet higher than it is today. That must have made spectating a little difficult, eh. The Shrimpers moved to the Kursaal Ground in 1919, and in 1934 took residence at the Southend Greyhound Stadium. Along come the 1950s, and Southend want a ground of their own; where better, then, than their spiritual home, Roots Hall? By now, the site had been quarried and then used as a rubbish tip. The supporters' club raised £10,000 to purchase the site, and in 1953 work began – not, mind, by McAlpine or Wimpey but by just a few dedicated local folk, including several players and even the club manager, all mucking in with cement mixers, shovels, and wheelbarrows.

For more on Southend United, click here.

Ready's Benfleet Bet

You should all have received an email with a list of this weekend's FA Cup 3rd Round ties. All you have to do is correctly guess the right score and the winner with the most points will win. I also included the rules, Ready will mark them early next week and his decision is final.

Good luck, 20 quid or 30 dollars to the winner.

Road to Wembley - Shrimpers face Blues

Southend continue their N&R Road to Wembley run after beating Luton in the 2nd Round and the Shrimpers pulled out a peach of a 3rd Round draw at Stamford Bridge to play Chelsea.

In the 2nd Round it was on-loan West Ham midfielder Junior Stanislaus who was the hero with two goals as Southend overcame Luton to clinch a third round FA Cup berth.

STANISLAUS, who joined the day before, cracked home Southend's opener from 25 yards, only for Michael Spillane to head Luton level. STANISLAUS then headed Southend back in front from Kevin Betsy's cross. Our boys wrapped up victory when Anthony Grant set up fellow substitute and Charlton old boy JAMES WALER to smash home.

Southend: Mildenhall, Francis, Clarke, Barrett, Herd, Betsy, Christophe (Grant 65), McCormack, Stanislas (Orenuja 90), Revell (Walker 77), Laurent.
Subs Not Used: Joyce, Sankofa, O'Keefe, Hazell.
Att: 4,111

More on Southend United later in the week.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Right up to date

Sorry lads and lasses but the last few weeks have somewhat passed me by in a shower of festive cheer and insurance doom. Below I have listed the last four weeks best moments. I have sent you the four tables as I know some of you keep spreadsheets and stuff on it, however the following will give you an up to date look at the groups too.

Group 1 - The Lamb
During the month of December Neil Reynolds' Gooner Win League has increased his lead at the top to 119 points - think it is safe to say that he is through to the final stages! Tallywacker's Bukkakke Marathon is now 2nd just ahead of Roubles with Lamb to the slaughter, Goonersmoan, Lovejoy and Real Ale floundering. Dangleberry is still anchored to the bottom. Remember top two qualify and then best runners up.

Group 2 - East India
A much closer group. Ninjas lead by a little distance with Torres 2nd. Keep the faith under Ben's guidance are now in 3rd. Bent it like Bentley and Pure Irish are still in running as might just be Californication.

Group 3 - New Moon
Soozie still leads but Nobby's Bermuda Shorts have slipped to 5th but only 25 points seperate him and Hannoi in 2nd. Gunners Bandits are also still in the mix. Sweaty and Gerrardinho need to work harder.

Group 4 - The Ship
A new found confidence from Bollocks to Insurance has put Pete top but a great run by Towels on the bench means Oakers is 2nd, well ahead of Pie Munchers, who in turn lead Arsene Knows, Shinawatras and Big Nose, who remarkably are each on the same points.

Group 5 - Cheshire Cheese
Glasgow
point the way (it gets cold up there), with comrade Sheron in 2nd. St Mirnoff are close behind with Kebab 4th. Its a decent competition here with Ginger, Elland (Glad)back, Bingo and Pohutukawas still in contention.

Group 6 - The Elephant
In Tatters and 2Infinity battle it out for top spot. Both are doing well in the overall standings too. Beaver is in the running as is Panzo. Mono has more work to do but Chong and Team GB are off the pace. Curbishley is shit are not yet out of the blocks.

Group 7 - The Kerryman
In the Americas, Boys on Tour lead by 40 odd points from Guinness & Eggs, one of the leagues most in-form sides. Nancy is losing ground but not as much as Brighton Blues and Hot Pink Center, although they are still within range. Same can't be said of No Hopers and Philly.

Fac me

Breaking News 88888 Week 19 scores
She's got it. After 19 weeks of training, Sarah Sheron has finally got it. She has learnt all she needs to know about fantasy league football. I understand her broking is taking a little more time (joking Shezza) but her FL is spot on. In week 19 Sheron's ready to fac walked away with a fiver (she shared a threesome in week 16!) with a 44 point score dominating her competition.

Hannoi Utd were found behind her (dirty devil) with 38, Towels on the bench had another cracking week with 36 followed by overall leader Gooner Win League, who scored 34.

Aussie boy Huw's Pot Noodle did well again scoring 33, ahead of old team mate Sizzling Saveloys Bangers and then Nobby's Bermuda Shorts.

Week 19's worst was a fat round 0 from Champions.

Bingo!

Breaking News 88888 Week 18 scores
88, two fat ladies, 69 anyway up, legs eleven, Bingo! Simon Ward got lucky in week 18 crossing off 5 and 8, 58 on his card as he made a dent in Group 5's standings for the first time. It was Simon's highest ever score and his first MoW award. Well done Bingo.

Godders Bollocks to Insurance were behind Wardy with 52 (weeks in a year). Then it was another fien week from Steve's Guinness & Eggs with (blind) 50. The same as Soozie and her succulent pair.

Four teams made 47, they were Towels on the bench, Pure Irish, Californication and Hot Pink Center. Down on your knees 43 were Megan & Hannah's Bears and St Mirnoff and Life's begun at 41 for Brighton Blues.

Bottom of the lot was Cyril Smith with a crappy 2, home alone.

Dan Dare

Breaking News 88888 Week 17 scores
Arsene Knows
whalloped their best score of the season and won a fiver to boot in week 17. 63 points gave Dan a lift in what has been a disappointing season so far. Guinness & eggs were 2nd best with 61, a score which closed the gap on Group 7 leader Boys on tour.

The Pohutukawas also gained a much needed season best with 58. Towels on the bench also hit 58 which puts Oakers into 2nd place in Group 4.

Hannoi Utd slammed in 55, Pot Noodle 54, Pure Irish 53, Bingo FC 52, Californication 51 and so one and so forth.

Panzo was last and least with 10.

Threesome

Breaking News 88888 Week 16 scores
Back in early December 3 managers tied for the MoW award. Dangleberry Rovers, who have had a shocking season to date along with Sheron's ready to fac and Brighton Blues each pocketed 43 points and a share of a fiver, which at the moment would probably buy a Woolworths store.

All three profited in their group tables particulary the Longs. Glasgow Kiss was next in line with a 41, one more than Michael Stout, whose No Hopers are beginning to look anything but.
Other good shouts from Ginger Rapids (37), Bollocks to Insurance (36), Tallywackers Bukkake Marathon (36) and Boys on tour (35).
Week 16's lowest score was 12 from Loads of Roubles.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Photograph of the week

Ronaldo thought someone was throwing him the prestigious Ballon d'Or, which he did finally collect this week. Well deserved too, and he joins a long list of greats that includes Stanley Matthews, di Stefano, Franz Beckenbauer, Johan Cryuff, ex-Addick Allan Simonsen, Michael Platini, Luis Figo, Kevin Keegan, George Best and new Argentinian boss Diego Maradona.

Week 15 reminder

Quick run through. Chelsea, Liverpool and Man U all drew 0-0 against Newcastle, Foolham and Villa respectively. Arsenal fell heavily to Man C. Ireland, Robinho and Sturridge all scoring.

Stoke beat poor old Baggies, Hull and Pompey drew 2-2 in an entertaining affair at Fratton Park. Boro lost at home to thriving Bolton. Steinsson, Taylor and Elmander each hitting the net in a 3-1 win. On the Sunday Hammers went to Sunderland and won 1-0, whereas Spudz stayed at home and beat struggling Rovers 1-0. On Monday Camara got Wigan's all important winner at home to Everton.

Unassailable?

Group Stage - 1. The Lamb
Another cracking week from Gooner win league, who is continuing to show fantasy champion form. A top weekly score of 48 stretched Neil's lead to an unassailable 102 points! He is 48 points ahead of his nearest rival in the overall standings.

In what is now just the battle to qualify for the finals, Load of Roubles are now in 2nd after a good week, drop kicking Tallywacker's Bukkake Marathon into 3rd. Lamb to the slaughter are into 4th with Goonersmoan 5th.

Less points however seperate 2nd from 8th than they do from 1st to 2nd.

Irish charm

Group Stage - 2. East India
Pure Irish continued their better luck and moved into 5th ahead of Californication. The top 4 remain the same with Student Ninjas leading Torres Rosso by 38 pts. Then there is a big gap to Ben and Ian's Keep the faith and 10 points seperate them and Bent it like Bentley.

Shorts pulled up

Group Stage - 3. New Moon
Nobby's Bermuda shorts have slipped right in behind Soozie's Succulent ones (sorry Sav). 38 from Nobs heaves him over Pot Noodle. Sizzling Saveloys Bangers had the 15th best score of week and overtook Sweaty Palms, who fall to 7th. Razor's Gerrardinho stay last in Group 3.

Big score from Big Nose

Group Stage - 4. The Ship
Godders had another sterling week and is now in the top 10 overall and Bollocks to insurance lead Group 4 by 43 pts from Preston Pie Munchers. A top drawer score from Who you calling Big Nose puts Kennett in 3rd ahead of Towels on the beach and Shinawatras Dream, even though Leigh had a fair week.

The bottom 3 remained the same despite Champions best score for a month.

Reddy broken

Group Stage - 5. Cheshire Cheese
An 8-week low from Glasgow Kiss allowing the rest to make some slight ground on the lovely Scots lass. Sheron's ready to fac only did 5 better though, but she is ahead St Mirnoff FC, who hurdle Dynamo Kebab into 3rd.

The Pohutukawas had a bit of a mare and drop to last as Bingo FC climb of the bottom.

Hardly Tatty

Group Stage - 6. The Elephant
Tatters who despite beginning a new job has kept his form at the top of Group 6. In Tatters lead by just 8 points from newly into 2nd spot 2Infinity & beyond. Beaver Ruin had an appalling week, there worst (16) since week 2 and drop to 3rd. These two stay out ahead with Panzo in 4th and the other players unchanged.

Foulger flying

Group Stage - 7. The Kerryman
Old Foulgy is still in front. Boys on tour lead Guinness & eggs by 38 pts. Nancy remains 3rd with Brighton 4th, Hot Pink 5th just ahead of No hopers and last is Philly Feet.