Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Transfers

I know you all getting a tad excited but we have noticed a prolifacy of transfer requests lately that have been wrong, or shall I say misleading. Now I know that it is more over exuberance than cheating but if you could please refrain and check in advance that you only have one transfer left and not ten or that Kevin Lisbie is not the same cost as Cristiano Ronaldo, then we would be appreciative.

You can always ask me for details of your team and number of transfers in advance as this would save us all loads of time and hassle.

Sermon over. Thanks, Nobby & Ready.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Talk about bloody excitement!

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 35 scores
Excuse me for being excited but I am sitting in a Frankie & Benny’s writing this somewhere near Bromley and there are two decent ‘Mothers that lunch’ at the next table….

But that is not the only thing I have to get excited about. Take a look at the top of the N&R Premiership….

I, of course, take all the credit for splitting the league and creating this excitement, not seen since last time Sweaty was seen in Homebase choosing bathroom grout.

Flighty Feet still sit on top (a rather nice thought, if I could be as bold), just 1 point ahead of the Layton Blackham duo of Hannoi Utd and Savchenko Spurs tied in 2nd place. They in turn are only 3 points ahead of young upstart Littig, whose long time leaders Roon & Ron’s rockstars stay 4th.

On their way down to 5th though are Cristiano’s allstars, top just 3 weeks ago, but still only 9 points of the top. East Indian Summer replace Christian Dailly in 7th.

This is all pointing to the closest finish involving probably 8 teams for a very long time.

At the bottom Living in sin, #1 Strugglers, Thieving Chelsea gits and Lovejoy all improved their chances of staying up with fine weekly performances. But things are looking a bit gloomy for Wizzi’z wonders, who drop bang into the relegation hotchpotch.

Knouse one baby!

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 35
Well I never, Nick and Jon finally showed the fantasy football world that they no a little about the beautiful game – to be honest being West Ham and Leeds fans respectively, I was starting to have my doubts. But a rather nice MoW of week prize will be awarded at the end of the season for week 35’s 55 point score, although I am sure the Glencoe Hammers won’t want it to stop there as they chase an outside chance of promotion.

And blow me down with a featherlite but old Nobster weighed in with 52 points to give North of Palarse a boost, a bloody point less than team-mate Brian Dougal, whose Living In Sin have re-awoken.

Then if that wasn’t enough surprises, Francey and his magic spreadsheet produced a stunning 50 to Keep Vote Seagulls' promotion chances on track and dirty Leeds boy Rob Munden also caught us napping with his Thieving Chelsea gits clambering out of the Premiership relegation places for only the 2nd time since the turn of the year by scoring 49. The same as Dewbs’ East Indian Summer.

Title hunter Hannoi Utd masterfully stroked in 48 points, one more than London Irish and two more than Glasgow Kiss and Blackham buddy Savchenko Spurs.

Glencoe lead charge from the pack

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 35 scores
Still the battle over the relegation places, as the title seems a foregone conclusion, the opposite of the Big League. Wenners’ Bollocks to Ballack are up to 2nd again – the 7th time in 8 weeks. Thank you 4 the daze’s nosebleed has stopped and they fall back to 4th.

However it is lower down the table that it gets a bit more interesting as manager's give it their best shot for promotion.

Ping Pong climb another place as Sooz tries to salvage her season. Frank & Beans are still giving it their all. The Glencoe boys had a fantastic week – up 5 places after their week winning performance. Even Nobbage is getting in on the act, North of Palarse jumping to 15th. And a bit lower down Danny Rose’s Rovers move up 4 positions and will still hold slim hopes of a sprint into the top 8.

Bottom still is Sweat’s Revolution, but they are only 20 points off from saving face and winning their entry money back. Megan & Hannah’s bears remain in the penultimate prize spot, as they have done since the turn of the year.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Happy St George's Day




Flight of fancy

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 34 scores
Flighty Feet go back to the top of the Premiership as we enter the final straight. Catherine and Karen scored pretty average in week 34, but it was enough to top last week's joint leaders Cristiano's Allstars and Roon & Ron’s Rockstars. Meanwhile Savchenko Spurs slip into 3rd.

The question is have the Allstars and Rockstars fallen like, well stars? Both the new boys have dominated the league this season but will they be able to see it through or capture one of the big prizes? Or will it be last season’s wonders Flighty Feet, previous champion Hannoi Utd, old stalwart Roubles or maybe even the other new boy Savchenko, who too has had an admirable season.

What is sure is that the top 8 have pulled away, which will mean one team will miss out on a top prize.

The big news at the bottom is that Goonersmoan move off the bottom for the first time since Rutts fall from grace in week 31. Big Bri hammered home a very nifty fifty and clambered two places of the bottom. Lloyds boy Neil Cryer ‘s Underwriting Cop falls backwards whilst Godders’ I still *king hate Chelsea slump to bottom.

There was a time, a time long, long ago, when Pete Godfrey had this fantasy thing mastered. In those heady days Pete was undoubtedly the best football fantasy manager out there but like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, the fitter youngsters have caught up and overtaken him!

Aces high

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 34
Soozie, the lovely Soozie with the big personality collects her first prize money of the season. Her 58 points in week 34 was enough to collect a fiver, although Nobby & Ready will offer to pay her in kind, and not even demand any change!

Frankly Sooz, you & your Ping Pongs have been a disappointment to me and the pit-bull this season. After last year’s title cake walk, we expected similar but like your glorious Arse, you season has been poor. Note to my American friends: Arse is short for Arsenal.

Let’s just hope that Arsene doesn’t leave in the summer and you get Les Reed and his big Windsor knot instead.

Another good scorer was fellow Arse, Brian Rutter (by the way Rutts, I am dragging Jay Smelser out next week for a St Georges Day drink). Goonersmoan hit 50. Barry Paull’s NY Eagles helped themselves to 48, East Indian Summer to 46 and London Irish to 43.

In The Championship Shay’s Foreskins stay in the promotion hunt with an excellent 49 points and Dazed Oakers slammed 45 with Here we go again getting 41.

Al in a daze

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 34 scores
Oakers, who has never won anything in his long N&R FL life, is increasingly threatening to win some cash at the end of the season. Al’s Thank You 4 the daze climbed into 2nd place after a 45 point week, moving above Bollocks to Ballack and Massive Tackle.

Sven and Janas – Bye continue to streak away out front, 85 points ahead of their nearest rival. Lamb to the slaughter continue their good run, whilst In Tatters fall out of the promotion places.

The week's top team Ping Pong Yoyo aces have had a very indifferent season, a real disappointment from last years champion. However her MoW will give Soozie a boost to see if she can make a late charge for the promotion places. Sooz is currently just 27 points behind 8th.

In fact to be honest promotion is still a possibility right down to 23rd. Yep, even Panzo’s Panthers could make it if he can put some points on the board.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Road to Wembley - Watford dream ends

Our boys The Hornets had a miserable week, going out of the FA Cup and getting relegated from the Premiership in 7 days. At Villa Park Wayne Rooney inspired title chasing Manchester United as they broke Watford's brave challenge to reach the first FA Cup final to be held at the new Wembley.

ROONEY powered home a brilliant 20-yard drive after only six minutes, but Watford levelled with HAMEUR BOUAZZAs 26th minute overhead kick.

but Watford's celebrations were shortlived when players Player of the Year CRISTIANO RONALDO then bundled in Rooney's cross two minutes later as United swiftly restored their lead. Then ROONEY's close-range finish wrapped up the win after 66 minutes and substitute KIERAN RICHARDSON chipped in a fourth.

Watford: Lee, Mariappa (Doyley 88), Carlisle, Stewart, DeMerit, Chambers (Kabba 70), Smith, Mahon, Francis, Bouazza, Priskin (King 78).
Subs Not Used: Loach, Bangura.
Attendance: 37,245
MoM: Bouazza

Manchester Utd will now become our final Road to Wembley team and will play Chelsea on May 19th.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Nobby stars in week 33

Breaking News 88888 Manager of week 33
Thank you, yes I know, it is very well deserved. About bloody time, do I hear? Oh, you shouldn't, I'm getting embarrassed....

Yes, Nobby stormed to the MoW award in week 33, cleverly biding his time in the pack before making his run to the title. A nearly record score of 36 points saw off all and sundry and propelled North of Crystal Palarse to a gravity defying 18th in the Championship. Now just a few points away from promotion, surely this is only the first fiver of many as Nobs starts his home run. Watch out everyone the Nobby love train is coming through....

..What's that? Eh? You mean I have to share the fiver? 3 ways? What the fuck! Jewelly and Dewbs got the same score as me? I demand a recount.... but don't I have it on goal difference or something? I am the bloody organiser you know....

Monday, April 09, 2007

Little John robbed by King Richard

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Premiership - week 33 scores
What a time for Littig to record his lowest score of the season? Just 14 points for Rooney & Ronaldo Rockstars as Cristiano's Allstars joined them at the top of the Premiership in week 33. Richard Nathan, 3rd last week, scoring 26. Flighty Feet are just 2 behind in what is turning out to be a extremely close finish with ex-champion Ready up to 4th as Hannoi Utd hit 31 and Roubles, Savchenko and Christian Dailly are all in close pursuit.

Down the table a tad, NY Eagles were a big climber and Davor's #1 Strugglers and PK's Epping 'dog walking' club all slip a bit close for comfort to the relegation zone. The only change in the bottom 8 was that Nutmeg jumped over London Irish.

Sven & Janas - hello to the title?

Breaking news 8888 The N&R Championship - week 33 scores
Simmo pushed further into the title abyss after week 33. Sven & Janas are now 82 points clear of Bollocks to Ballack after a 33-point week, compared to Wenners 16.

The next 5 teams remain unchanged but into 6th appears Lamb to the slaughter, Glenn's first appearance since February and at the expense of Vote Seagulls Party.

At the bottom of the table Fabulous Fabregas FC drop a place after the week's worst score of 10. Dead bottom team Le Guen's Revolution close the long gap on Megan & Hannah's Bears again.

No week 32

By the way due to those wonderfully inspiring European Championship qualifiers when Steve 'very interesting' McClaren proved that he is a genius (Croatia watch out), there were no Premiership games in week 32.

Normal service has now resumed though, with just 7 weeks left before winners become winners and losers become Scottish supporting Rangers fans. Don't forget your transfers, if you have any left. If you don't know, just ask and I will tell you. Deadline as always is Tuesday at 7pm.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Happy Easter