Friday, December 31, 2004

Happy New Year

Nobby & Ready would like to wish all of our friends in the N&R FL a Happy and prosperous New Year. I will raise a glass to you here in Chicago at midnight (6am London time) and Keith will do the same although this year he is a bit closer to the Meridien Line.

All the best to you and yours.

Love Nobby & Ready.

ps. If you're staying in tonight or you are reading this on Tuesday and are bored, you might enjoy this.

Footballers donate to disaster fund


I can't stop watching CNN's coverage of the tsunami, it's like a drug. My eyes just wide open at the images before me, my head empty. Last night I was out for dinner with some friends and one of the girls raised her glass to remember the dead and missing but it's not enough is it?

Helplessness is what I feel, although the following wise words from New York Addick have made me see things clearer "whilst it puts our passion for football in its proper perspective, it also illustrates the shortness of life and the importance of celebrating its wonder since it can be wiped out so tragically. If something as ultimately as pointless as football can help us do so, we shouldn't feel guilty about it."

It is heartwarming to see that Charlton have doubled the £50,000 donation pledged by Premiership clubs. "I think a lot of people feel helpless, but by contributing to the disaster relief fund everyone can play their part in saving further lives and helping the region to recover. That's certainly what we feel at Charlton, and that is what has prompted the further donation by the directors, players and staff." said Matt Holland today.

Players at Man U, Man City, Everton and even Dwight Yorke have also further contributed.

Sportsmen and women in the world of tennis and cricket have also been contributing. Swedish tennis player Jonas Bjorkman, along with his doubles partner Mahesh Bhupathi are donating their earnings from next week's Indian Open. Sweden, whose people are great travellers and can be found all over the Far East have lost as many as 1,000 nationals in the disaster.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Ready's Benfleet Bet

It's that time of year again when the mighty (Rochdale) play the underdogs (Charlton) in the world's best cup competition. For our American viewers, it is only known as the worlds best competition but the winners do not actually become the world champions as that would be silly and require every football team in the world to take part and not just those from England!

As you are well aware we started the Road to Cardiff back in August with Odd Down FC and 8 rounds later we're still supporting a non-league team in the form of Yeading - more on their Cup tie with Newcastle nearer to the big day.

So, those old hands - and we have a number of previous winners amongst us - know that Ready sets the rules, it is free to enter but the competition is only open to N&R FL manager's. The prize fund is £25 (about $4m by the current exchange rate).

All you have to do is email your entry by no later than 6pm BST (12noon CST) on January 7th 2005. The entry forms will be emailed to you shortly. You can also fax me entries to 001 312 381 6878.

The rules will be included within the entry form but I will repeat them again here. Remember Ready's decision is final.

Scoring Points
1 point home win
2 points away win
3 points draw
3 points correct score
1 additional point per goal in a game where the score has been correctly predicted and there are 5 goals or more during the game.

The rules
No more than 11 draws allowed
No more than 6 identical scores, i.e. 2-1, 1-1 etc. Please note that 1-2 counts as a different score to 2-1
10 points deducted for each breach of rule.

May the best man or woman win. Any problems call me on 001 312 381 4382.

Shock, horror! Ready names his team

After 19 week's Ready has finally blessed us with a team name. And after all this what wonderfully cryptic and humourous title has he bestowed on the league? Hannoi Utd. Erm, yep, apparently it's an anagram of something or other. Maybe young girl suck my dick? nah, too many g's.

Pre-Christmas shake up

Breaking News 8888 Week 19 scores 8888 Breaking News
There was a real shake up in the league table following week 19's results. Ginger (not so) Athletic slipped to 3rd, overtaken by West Ham 4 West Germany 2. Wenners Wannabes increased their lead to a massive 17 points. Tatters top tips and Back home both gained ground on the leaders with Luadjemba slipping to 7th.

The week's biggest story involved Keep the faith and Jonny on my shoulder who both hit the top 10, Rob for the first time this season after scoring 59 points. Ping Pong Yo-Yo, Sweaty did shag ladyboys, You got more toes and Beer Monsters all fell back after recent impressive performances.

The week's best score came from Filthy Love who smacked 61 points and clambered 9 places to 17th a place behind Rose was ruined by a ladyboy who hit 60. Someone other than Arse of Man U and 2Infinity & Beyond are close on their heels. Barry having another fine week scoring 58.

The biggest faller was Galacticos FC who slumped to their lowest position of the season, 20th. Robbos on top and Dale Allstars didn't do too much better dropping 7 to 22nd and 23rd respectively.

The bottom half of the table saw Ready's TBA for the first time this season after he managed his worst score so far on his homecoming (14) but we saw further climbs from both Can I get a waistcoat and the Elephant man(ager) who goes into the Christmas games above their old rivals Better than 2nd.

In the re-election battle Happy Hammers leave the drop zone, replaced by Californication. Defoe's golden XI got their best score (41) in 14 weeks to jump 2 places whilst Only one 'f' in Forest crashed to 3rd from bottom above the two Yankies, Cheeky Americans and Idiots guide to soccer.

All this and the Christmas and New Year games to come which normally produce big scores and some even bigger stories.

Monday, December 27, 2004

My kinda town

It was great to see so many of you in the Jumbo last Monday. Ready was looking swell (or less swell) and I am sure you will join me in hoping that all of his pals out in Thailand are fine following yesterday's awful news.

I had a fun packed week at home and it was nice to have an extended stay to see as many people as possible. Christmas was quiet with my Mum, Dad and brother and it was a right pain in the arse having to drive back to Heathrow Boxing Day lunchtime whilst my brother was sitting in front of the Eastenders Omnibus drinking beer and eating cheese snips!

Boxing Day is another tradition that the Yanks have no concept of, they just get the one day of work which is Christmas Day (so the Friday this year) and are back at work today (Monday). Bag of shite really but a chance to get some crap sorted out, drink more beer and maybe get time to place my end of year renewal!

Hope you British boys and girls had wonderful Christmas' and Brian & Tim, when we going for a beer?

Who, which, why? - Brian Dougal

Brian Dougal is next up in the hot seat. Now, 44 of you don't know Brian and I have to tell you he ain't a bad bloke really, he's a streaky piece of piss but as Lee Day will contest to, an alright geezer. Trouble is if you read his Who, which, why? you would have thought he is a right sap, so therefore I have added some comments to translate what he is trying to say in an unfunny completely American way.

Amongst other poop he talks about the virtues of being in Gary Glitter's gang, his love of Page 3 and gives us a lesson in spelling.

The full entry will be sent via email. For those of you who have yet to send me your questionnaire please consider avoiding the pub one lunchtime and email them to me. Thank you.

Top Mark

Breaking News 8888 Week 18 scores 8888 Breaking News
Mark Wenman, who has not had the best of Christmas', will be cheered by the fact that in week 18 he reached the summit of the N&R FL after taking advantage of a shaky week from Ginger (not so) Athletic. Wenners Wannabe's scored 28 points, 5 more than Doyley thus putting him top of the pile.

In fact no manager in the top 7 managed to get a score in one of the weeks best 10. West Ham 4 West Germany 2 stay 3rd after scoring 27 points and Luadjemba stay 5th after notching 20. 5th and 6th places - Tatters top tips (30) and Lets all beat the Gooners (29) - were also unchanged but Ping Pong Yo-Yo are up to 7th.

Down at the bottom, there was similar tauper as only Happy Hammers and Woody's Warriors swapped places. Idiots guide to soccer after picking up in the past fortnight (English to American translation - 2 weeks) had the weeks worst score of 7.

Martin still making a splash

Breaking News 8888 Week 18 scores 8888 Breaking News
Martin Singleton collected his 2nd Manager of the Week fiver in 3 weeks as Tom Finney's Splash look to end the year in a prize chasing position. Martin has climbed 15 places in less than a month and rattled in a week's best score of 48 in week 18.

Barry Plummer is another geezer looking to get amongst the challengers in the 2nd half of the season. Last week's MoW was followed up with another 44 points to move 2Infinity & Beyond up a further 3 places to 25th.

Other good efforts in a low scoring week that ended on Dec 14th were achieved by Ping Pong Yo-Yo (35), Beer Monsters (34), Robbos on Top (33) and The Elephant Man(ager) who also hit 33 points.


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

My kinda town

Chicago taxi drivers are the worst in the world. Admittadly I have not been in a taxi in every country in the world but I have spent a few quid on taxi's in my time.

Now I know I have been used to London cabs and one of my best mates is a black cab driver so I am biased but you can hail a cab and ask them to go to the smallest shittiest lane in the middle of West London and the cab driver will say, " Ok guv, jump in" and they will take you there. Simple as that. Ok, you might get a life story as well but the fact is they know where they are going.

Chicago cabbies do not have a fuckin Scoobies. One, they don't speak English. Not even American! Two, they ask you how to get to where you want to go. Three, they spend the whole time talking on their cell phones in a language you have never heard off. Four, the cars are shit heaps. Five, they drive like lunatics and are constantly pressing their horn and shouting abuse at other cars. Six, they normally get lost and ask you if you know where it is you want to go, "No, let me explain Mr Cab driver. I am an Insurance broker, you are a cabbie. You fucking tell me!". And Seven, they then want and expect a bloody tip.

The other day I had a raging row with a cabbie because he clearly didn't know where he was going. He took me miles out of my way and then started moaning that the roads were new. Well if you call 1871 - when the grid system was put into place after the Great Chicago Fire - new then I suppose you're right you useless twat.

Life's a beach. End of part 1.


Ready's near 2 year sojourn in Thailand comes to a sad end this week. The lovable pitt bull flies home on Thursday and will be back in London for the foreseeable future. No doubt he will be around the City catching up with old mates with plenty of stories to tell.

He has spent the last 10 days of his time holed up in a wooden hut with his young lady and her family (which includes about 4 sisters I am led to believe - fcuking lucky bastard eh?) in a small but beautiful place (get you minds out of the gutter) called Issan.

I don't have any contact details yet because he will need to get a new moby etc but Lee Baughan I am sure will be bugging him for money as soon as he lands and will know his whereabouts.

Yeading game chosen by BBC

Yeading will come to national prominence when their game against Newcastle United is shown live in BBC on Saturday 9th January. The game is now due to take place at QPR's Loftus Road after the FA agreed to move the tie from The Warren.

So there are no excuses, I want you all to get behind 'The Ding' in front of the box on what is the biggest day in their history. Ok Heppers, you are forgiven you can support Newcastle if you must!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Tartan army

For our Scottish viewers the SPL is almost exciting this season. Only a point separates Celtic & Rangers at the top of the table after 18 games and Rangers have the better goal difference with the wondefully named Nacho Novo and Dado Prso in the goals.

The season has also been noted for the improvement in the other sides. Aberdeen and Hibernian in particular are playing some good football. They met on Saturday and 10-man Hibs came out victors at a packed Easter Road to close the gap on the third-placed Aberdeen to four points.

Hibs are managed by ex Ipswich centre half Tony Mowbray and people are already talking about him becoming one of Britain's best young coaches.

At the bottom of the table it is very tight with just 3 points between the bottom 5 clubs.

For those of you interested Falkirk are way ahead at the top of Division 1, although the SPL has become a bit of a closed shop in recent years so calm yourselves down you Falkirk fanatics.

Just a thought....

Manager of the Week
It's not bad value for 25 quid is it? For those of you that have paid anyhow. Just look at the Manager of the Week awards. We have had 15 winners so far this season. Only Lee Day - who won it three times in the first six weeks has won it more than once. For a full list of winners see the 2nd page of the Latest Table.

Ready's Bangkok Bet
The 3rd Round of the FA Cup will soon be upon us and this is another chance to win some prize money. For those of you new to the N&R FL, basically we offer you a free bet to guess to score of each of the 3rd Round matches. Ready has a formula for working out the scoring and the manager with the most points wins 25 notes (or $ equivalent).

Ready of course will soon be back in sunny Benfleet so I suppose we will have to change the name to 'The Benfleet Bet' or something. Doesn't quite have the same ring (sic) does it?

We will release a list of the games with the entry form soon. Look out for it.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

The Plumm-ing's now working

Breaking News 8888 Week 17 scores 8888 Breaking News
Anyone remember Barry Plummer? The bloke who won the title in 2002/3, came 2nd in 2003/4 and has spent the first 16 weeks of 2004/5 in the bottom half of the table - even at one point reaching his lowest ever position. Well the Plummer is back! 2Infinity & beyond won the MoW award in week 17 by scoring 61 points and we wonder here at N&R HQ if this is the little acorn.

Another pre season Championship contender was Paul Kelleher. PK amongst other more lurid activities takes the FL quite seriously but Filthy Love have had a very slow and non descript first third of the campaign. However I see another acorn. Paul scored 59 and move 3 places up the table.

Who else? Oh yeah, Alan Oakley. A previous big prize winner has also been finding it tough this season but Better than 2nd managed their best score (54) since August and jump up a few places.

Other excellent week's were from teams we have come to expect it from. Ginger (not so) Athletic stretched their lead at the top of the table to 5 points after scoring 57. Wenners Wannabe's were 3 worse of with 54.
West Ham 4 West Germany 2 hit another 57 points to close the gap a little on the top 2.

Other teams worth a mention in week 17? Keep the faith hit 52 and climb 4 places and You got more toes had a long overdue good week getting the same score.

6th Mark's the spot

Breaking News 8888 Week 17 scores 8888 Breaking News
Lets all best the Gooners leapt like a salmon in week 17 to a season high 6th place. Mark who has only one week in the top 10 to show so far this season clattered a mighty 59 points whilst Tatters top tips are now in 5th after scoring 55.

Elsewhere in the top 10 Back home & Ping Pong Yo-Yo lost ground whilst Sweaty did shag shemales climbed to 8th. Lamb to the slaughter have reappeared in the pink zone after an absence of a week. Glenn scoring 53 points.

Liz Keiller has - to most people's surprise - spent all but 4 weeks in the top 10 this season. Make that 5 now as She fell over slumped to 24 points and dropped 6 places to 12th. One to watch is the inconsistent Neil Cryer. Dale Allstars hit 51 points to rise to 14th from 18th.

The Young Americans

Breaking News 8888 Week 17 scores 8888 Breaking News
Brian Dougal and Tim Felbruegge are getting the hang of this game. In week 17 they both hit their best ever weekly score. Cheeky American's notching 50 points and Idiots guide to soccer 43. They both remain in the last two spots but have noticably caught the other stragglers up in the last couple of weeks. Tim is now only 15 points behind Defoe's golden XI - last week the difference was 34.

Brian & Tim will both have their eyes on Can I get a waistcoat, Tom Finney's splash and Herecomethewildebeestes who have all put runs together in recent weeks to move out of the danger zone. In fact Martin Singleton continued their excellent early winter form by hitting another 53 points to climb another 2 places whereas Tony Hepburn also hit a half century (51 to be precise) to move up to 37th.

Back in the bottom 6, Woody's Warriors get their first taste of a grey box next to their name as they struggled to score 20 points in week 17 and crucially slip 3 places. Both Happy Hammers and Defoe's golden XI lose ground but a big mover is Californication who are out of the re-election zone for the first time in 6 weeks after Chris scored his biggest total of the season so far - 55.

The week's biggest loser was Greg Harris. Greg who has probably more important things on his mind like writing the Queen's speech, hit a lowly 15 points. Roffey's Rejects fell 6 places down the league table.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Yeading move game to QPR


What a shame that this marvellous ground will now not be used for the 3rd Round Cup game on January 9th. On Friday the FA agreed to switching Yeading's plum tie to QPR's Loftus Road for safety reasons (more) The Ding's ground, The Warren also only holds 3,500, so Loftus Road which holds almost 20,000 will allow a lot more people to see the game.

Meantime our boys have Newcastle manager Graeme Souness worried about the 3rd Round clash. After the draw Souness said: "I don't even know where Yeading is and, while I have contacts in football throughout the world, I must admit I have nothing on them."

Newcastle suffered a famous FA Cup exit at the hands of non-league Hereford in 1972 and were taken to a replay by Conference side Stevenage Borough in 1998 and Souness clearly worried went onto say: "It's a famous draw for them getting Newcastle United at home, but, while it's obviously a potential banana skin, we don't want to make them even more famous."

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Road to Cardiff - Our new boys Yeading to face Geordies in 3rd Round

Not even David Brent - The Office was based in Slough - could inspire Slough Town to the 3rd Round of FA Cup and a wonderful home tie against Newcastle United. They were beaten by Ryman Premier League leaders Yeading FC last Saturday and it is now 'The Ding' (that is honestly their nickname) who we now follow on The Road to Cardiff.

It all started so well for Sluff too. GLEN HARRIS stepping up coolly to send Delroy Preddie the wrong way from the spot after just 3 minutes. Yeading gradually began to dominate the match after early Slough pressure, and had a chance to equalise when Darti Brown headed straight at goalkeeper Shaun Allaway.

The pressure was growing on the Slough goal and it was no real surprise when Yeading found themselves back on level terms on 27 minutes. A cross from Alex Stanley was headed on by Davis Haule. His header hit the bar as did DUDLEY CAMPBELL's shot from the rebound, but it was the same player who was on hand to finally poke home the equaliser.

This momentarily woke the Rebels up and they came close on two occasions in quick succession - with Harris & Murphy going close.

In the early knockings of the 2nd half Slough had a chance when captain Daly's corner was blocked by his own player. That was as good as it got for Slough as Yeading again dominated the remainder of the half. They took the lead on 52 minutes when the prolific CAMPBELL pounced to score from close range after a cross by Haule on the right.

Yeading, now buoyant after their goal had another chance soon after when former Hayes striker Errol Telemaque turned in the penalty area only to see his shot beaten away by Allaway for a corner. From the resulting corner by Stanley the away side went further ahead when HAULE was on hand to head home from close range.

The Ding comfortably held onto victory and their supporters and us look forward to the huge game at home to the Geordies.

Slough team: Allaway, Murphy, Daly, Saulisdury, Josias Carbon, Wilkinson, Metcalfe, Haddow, Harris, Hodges, Spencer (Moller 63). Subs Not Used: Steer, Seedell, Parkin, Matt Miller.
Man of the match:
Attendance: 2,418

On Yeading's official site today: After consultation today with the London Borough of Hillingdon, Metropolitan Police, London Fire Brigade and the Football Association, Yeading FC have been granted permission to host the Third Round tie with Newcastle United at The Warren, subject to final confirmation from the appropriate authorities.Crowd capacity will be limited to a total of 2,300 spectators with the match taking place on Saturday 8 January 2005, in a 12.30pm kick off. (more)

Good luck to them and I'm sure Alan Shearer et al are less than thrilled with the prospect of playing on on a mud heap at the end of an industrial estate in Hayes, Middx.

More on the mighty Ding-a-ling's soon and their 3rd Round tie against Newcastle United.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Splash back

Breaking News 8888 Week 16 scores 8888 Breaking News

What a week by Martin Singleton! He scored the season's biggest 7 day score with just one round of games played - there is no prize for this you understand, I would end up giving out prizes for everything otherwise, such as the most stoopidiest American or the broker who can drink the most Guinness before lunchtime. Tom Finney's splash whalloped 65 points and surged 10 places up the league table, leaving the re-election zone way behind.

Another punter who collected well in week 16 was Tony Murray. Hammers like coke hammered 41 points (their best in 13 weeks) and moved a further 4 places from the re-election zone. Three other good performers from the lower half of the table were Pull your finger out molly (can't believe Godders' side have been so quiet this season - they have hardly had a mention) who hit 40 points, the same as Make it a supersize who bounced back are a poor few weeks following their MoW award in week 11. Can I get a waistcoat also continued their run up the table - can Si follow in Ben Graves' steps? - after scoring 38.

Just 2 points the difference at the top

Breaking News 8888 Week 16 scores 8888 Breaking News
An excellent week for Wenners Wannabe's scoring 46 points saw them close the gap on Ginger (not so) Athletic to just 2 points as the race for Championship gathers seasonal momentum. The flying West Ham 4 West Germany 2 knocked in another 38 points to move into 3rd spot ahead of Luadjemba.

Back home, She fell over & Ping Pong Yo-Yo stay in their places as they all scored within 2 points of each other. Week 16 saw Tatters top tips climb back to 7th after tipping in with 41. Into the top 10 for the first time this season are Lets all beat the Gooners after Mark claimed the 2nd best score of the week - albeit 17 less than Tom Finney's splash.

A manager who has rekindled their team's form is Carl Dillaway. Galacticos FC rattled in 45 - their best score since August - and jump 5 places to 11th. Lamb to the slaughter, You got more toes and TBA all continue their slide's down the table.

Three managers are upwardly mobile though. They are Mike Robertson, Simon Bond & Rob Munden. Robbo's on top smacked their best score for 8 weeks of 41 and are now in 14th whilst Someone other than Arse or Man U magiced 42 and rose to 17th, up four and Rob (famously once caught by a window cleaner wanking - I love saying that) weighed in with 37 to push his Jonny on my shoulder into the top half of the table.

Brian-storm

Breaking News 8888 Week 16 scores 8888 Breaking News
Brian Dougal closed the gap on fellow Wisconsin boy Tim Feldbruegge at the foot of the table in week 16. Idiots guide to soccer scored 35, 14 more than Cheeky Americans.

Californication again look like jeopardising any chance AIG have of winning the coveted Team Challenge Trophy after they slumped again in week 16. Chris is now 3rd from bottom after Defoe's golden XI (you mark my words Mark - that Judas cnut will be off in the transfer window) climbed above them after scoring 34.

Happy Hammers floated like a fuckin elephant into the drop zone after having their worst week of the season. Just 8 points for Al. Only one 'f' in Forest followed up last week's MoW award with a respectable 27 and jump one spot.

And finally, how nice it is to see soul mates Alan Oakley and Giles Crowley together in joint 38th place. This after Giles' The elephant man(ager) scored a fine 33 points and climbed 2 places where they bumped into Al's Better than 2nd who headed the other way after suffering the week's worst score of 7. How sweet?

Sunday, December 05, 2004

My kinda town

I was back in London over Thanksgiving which was fun but knackering. My Mum & Dad have now moved to Eastbourne (well 6 miles outside) and after spending half of my time in a jam jar I realised that all the people close to me live fucking miles from each other. I got back to Chicago on Tuesday night, was in work on Wednesday and then had to go to Detroit on Thursday and Friday. My body clock doesn't know what time it is but it hasn't put it off the taste for booze, which is handy as like London we are now at the start of the Christmas party season.

I have had a few visitors recently including Messrs Day & Gumbs which was fun, though not such a laugh when my alarm was going off in the morning and I had to go to work (admittedly only a 12 minute walk) whilst Gumbsy was laying in his hotel bed watching movies (he had 12 on his hotel bill when he checked out and I don't believe they were all Harry Potter!).

We did all the normal tourist things like drinking and drinking when they were here and we also had a guy from Aon Global Risks with us on an exchange at the same time so we were quite a handful armed with our English accents! Despite this wonderful piece of armour, Gumbsy still preferred the tactic of going up to ladies and holding their hand, which he denies vehemently but as the boys will back me up was true!

I really like my apartment I am renting at the moment. It's on the 36th floor with wonderful views over the city and the building has a gym (supposedly) and a swimming pool but I'm currently wrestling with the idea of buying a place because I have never been much of a renter, feeling it is throwing money away.

The weather turned whilst I was home, and has become colder and we have seen the first snowfall of the winter. The trouble with the winters here is not the cold or the snow, it is just that they can last so long with snow still likely as late as May. Now that is a depressing thought. Oh well, I think I still prefer the snow to the awful drizzle and dampness we get back home.

I will be back at Christmas and I will definitely let some of you know if I am able to pop into the City for a pint.

I am going to the Chicago Bulls game tomorrow night. Brian Dougal and I have been invited by an underwriter into one of the sky boxes at the United Center. The Bulls are shite by the way with a season record so far of won 2 and lost 12. However they have a rookie playing for them this year called Luol Deng who after arriving in the UK from the Sudan with his 9 brother and sisters in 1993 lived in Lewisham, before coming to the US to go to college - that's good enough for me. Go da Bulls.

I'm in a very good mood this Sunday evening, can't image why..... Dennis, Dennis, how much we love you so. You gotta love it haven't you?

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Who, which, why? - Martin Singleton

North Ender Martin Singleton is our first guest in the Who, which, why? series. Martin manages to actually avoid answering any of the questions whatsoever but does talk about his wife, high school anal, Amy Winehouse and of course pies. There is also a wonderful response to the most annoying person question. An answer I think we can all identify with.

Thanks Martin, it's a good start to this season's fun. Please keep your entries coming.

The rise and rise of Ben Graves

Breaking News 8888 Week 15 scores 8888 Breaking News
Ben Graves is the current Daddy of the N&R FL, no doubt. Another 43 point haul for West Ham 4 West Germany 2 means that they are now into 4th place in the table. The bottom half of the table should all take heart from Ben's achievements as he was in 33rd place just 7 weeks ago and now he is hot on the heels of Ginger (not so) Athletic, Wenners Wannabe's and Luadjemba.

The top 3 in week 15 all performed well, particularly John McGowan and Doyley who both hit 34. Wenners scored 10 less. Back home got a bit of home sickness and lost ground after scoring 22 - Barry's worse score since mid September. She fell over also lost ground, Liz hit 21.

Two upward mover's were Ping Pong Yo-Yo and Sweaty will be shagging shemales (Dan, should this now be Sweaty did shag shemales?). Suzie is back in the top 7 whilst Danny jumped 2 spots. Tatters top tips and previous leader You got more toes than us, who achieved a season low of 13 points, both slide down the top 10.

The week's worst score was by Moulster's Molesters who scored a paltry 11, 2 more than Happy Hammers.

One 'f' in fiver

Breaking News 8888 Week 15 scores 8888 Breaking News
James Bird flew in to win the Manager of the Week prize in week 15. Despite the 45 points, Only one 'f' in Forest stay in the re-election zone but they do move up two places. Another struggling team that are at last getting it right is Can I get my waistcoat, who scored 41 points for the 2nd consecutive week to climb 6 places further away from the bottom of the pile.

The Elephant man(ager) had a sterling week knocking in 38 points, which was Giles' best score for 3 months. They clear the re-election area for only the 6th time this season. The wonder team of Baxter & Barrett scored 33 points to move up a place to 38th.

Other weeks worth noting were had by Flighty Feet who scored 32 and Danny's Geeza's who also notched 32.